Do You Really Parent with Love? Bet not!

October 13, 2008 at 6:39 am | Posted in children, dads, Families, moms, Mothers, parents, Self Esteem | Leave a comment
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Its Motivational Monday.

And I want to share wth you the fundamental aspect of parenting.  You guessed it.  it is love.  Not too surprising, except when you think about how many times you mix up hate into it.  For instance, when you find your kids annoying, irritating, overwhelming.  When your let them know what a brat they are being. When you know that they are driving you crazy.  

You are letting hate in and using it as your parenting guide when you are so stressed out by what to do that you can’t sleep at night.  Or maybe you scream at your kids.  You may even ridicule your kids.  Or you may hit, slap, or spank them.

And worse than all these you may ignore your kids.  

This day and everyday this week remember that you do love your kids. Keep a little running count of each time you feel love towards your kids.  This can be a simple tally on the fridge.  

By taking the time to truly notice and make a mark of loving your children, you will bring your focus back to the true essential nature of parenting.

Be sure to parent with passion, purpose, and integrity

Focused Fridays: Mother-in-Laws

November 23, 2007 at 6:44 pm | Posted in dads, Families, Focused Fridays, Holidays, marriage, moms, Mothers, relationships, Self Esteem, Tweens | Leave a comment
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Question:  I am at my in-laws.  I love them dearly, but my mother-in-law is always telling me what to do and how to do it.  I just don’t want to make her upset, but I also don’t want to do everything that she tells me to do.  How in the world can I manage to do what I want to do and not insult my mother-in-law by not doing what she wants me to do?

GEM Answer:  This can be tricky, because you want to keep being on good terms with your mother-in-law, but you do not want to be her clone.  TO be able to do your own thing tell your mother-in-law that you appreciate her suggestions and you will consider them.  Emphasize that you know she did a great job with her parenting because she raised such a wonderful child that you fell in love with and are married to.  It can also help to let her know that you understand that her comments are only because she loves her family so much.  But you are the parent of this family and you will be doing things differently.  You don’t need to be rude.  Just be firm.  And remember this is your family.

It is important for your own self-esteem to be sure of your own parenting.  If you are not then get sure of yourself.  You don’t need to waffle.  There are billions of ways to parent and the one you choose is yours.  If you are unsure of yourself then make a commitment today to follow your own wonderful parenting ideas. 

If you have ideas of how to deal with loving, but over bearing mother-in-laws then please add you comments.  We’d all love to know.

Preview of the Thoughtful Thursday audio release at “Thanksgiving: The Gentle Holiday.”

Get your copy of “Thanksgiving: The Gentle Holiday” today and start to feel thankful for the blessings of Thanksgiving again!

FREE 8 PODCAST SERIES: “7 Deadly Mistakes Parents Make That Create Spoiled Brats!”  In this FREE Audio Parenting Series, you’ll learn the tested methods and strategies that produce the behavior your heart desires from your children.

Thoughtful Thursday: Children and Gratitude for Thanksgiving

November 22, 2007 at 6:41 pm | Posted in dads, Families, Holidays, moms, Mothers, Self Esteem, siblings, Thoughtful Thursday, Tweens | Leave a comment
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In honor of Thanksgiving, GEM Parenting posts this thought and a hope for a wonderful Thanksgiving!

“How wonderful it would be if we could help our children and grandchildren to learn thanksgiving at an early age. Thanksgiving opens the doors. It changes a child’s personality. A child is resentful, negative—or thankful. Thankful children want to give, they radiate happiness, they draw people.”–Sir John Templeton

Preview of the Thoughtful Thursday audio release at “Thanksgiving: The Gentle Holiday.”

Get your copy of “Thanksgiving: The Gentle Holiday” today and start to feel thankful for the blessings of Thanksgiving again!

FREE 8 PODCAST SERIES: “7 Deadly Mistakes Parents Make That Create Spoiled Brats!”  In this FREE Audio Parenting Series, you’ll learn the tested methods and strategies that produce the behavior your heart desires from your children.

Wednesday Wisdom: Travel Tips with Children

November 21, 2007 at 4:56 am | Posted in dads, Families, Holidays, moms, Mothers, Self Esteem, siblings, Tweens, Wednesday Wisdom | 2 Comments
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As you are aware today is the most traveled day of the year! 

Here are tips to help you through this process with your small children:

  • When you are traveling bring some food along that is juicy yet not messy- Grapes and apples celery and carrots.
  • Bring some food that is sustaining but not salty- cheese and crackers, bread and butter, PB and J sandwiches, 
  • Entertainment is a necessity, but I do not believe it all needs, or even should be, electronic. 
  • You can bring old-fashioned games and activities, such as a coloring book, picture books, and some small stuffed animals.  Have times set up for each of these.  Anywhere from twenty minute shifts to hour shifts. 
  • And intersperse the electronics between these activities.  If your child uses different parts of the brain while sitting the sitting doesn’t seem so hard.
  • Do some silly singing, and especially those songs that have action parts.  You can play head, shoulders, knees and toes, and Little Bunny FooFoo.  You can play on of my family’s favorites- It is called energy.  You wiggle every part of your body while saying, singing, shouting, or whispering energy.  It is pure silliness.  And it is great for you and the kids!

Here are some other games that are all ages’ fun in the car.  I am thinking of something- in the car- where we are going- what we will eat- who will be there.   The alphabet game.  Here is a fun variation.  My name is Albert and my wife is Ann.  We live in Alexandria, and we sell apples.  The next person uses words that start with “B”.  You can prompt even very young children to play this.  And another game/song is “Going on a picnic leaving right away, if it doesn’t rain we’ll stay all day.  Did you bring the ________?  (And a child says something)  Yes we brought the __________.  We’ stay all day.  Then you repeat again.  This can be played in a variety of ways.  First is by just putting in any thing for the blanks.  The second is to add the new item and repeat all the previous items.  And the third is in alphabetical order.

And don’t forget the good old standby’s like Old MacDonald had a farm, There was a Farmer had a Dog and Bingo was his name O.   I hope these will jar your memory of the fun songs you sang as a kid.  Because guess what?  With all the technology and electronics these songs and finger plays will still be fun, stimulating, and probably be the best part of your trip.

If you are traveling through bedtime, Stop at about the real time put on your kids pajamas, brush their teeth and have them go potty.  Then in the car do the best you can to do your regular bedtime routine- read them a story, sing.  Then say it is time to sleep.  This will give your kids the security and regularity of sleeping.  Just keep gently reminding them to sleep.  And when they learn the phrase, “I can’t sleep in the car.”  Reply with:  It doesn’t really matter if you sleep.  You just have to pretend to be asleep so I don’t know you are awake.”  And remind them that falling asleep is not for you, but so that they will have fun when on Thanksgiving.  Also you can tell them how much faster the car ride is if they fall asleep. 

I know the phone is really tempting to use when driving, so do be careful, follow the law, and tell people that you are driving.  Tell them you may stop talking and listening if the traffic is difficult.

Also, when you are putting your kids to sleep do not talk in the phone or with other people in the car.  Give your kids about twenty minutes to fall asleep. You may want to put on sleepy music or song to your children.

These are tried and true methods to help the travel be smoother and more enjoyable.  As you travel think of the travel as part of the fun.  Think of the car ride as a special time.  Not a trapped in the car with nothing to do time.  If you get your head around the idea that this can and will be fun, then you will give this to your family.  And for goodness sakes, don’t let those negative vibes from others sway your opinion or actions!  Let your car rides be so enjoyable that you and your kids look forward to then.  I know this can be done as I do it myself and I have lots of friends and relatives who love car rides as well.

Have a safe drive and a Happy Thanksgiving. 

Preview of the Thoughtful Thursday audio release at “Thanksgiving: The Gentle Holiday.”

Get your copy of “Thanksgiving: The Gentle Holiday” today and start to feel thankful for the blessings of Thanksgiving again!

FREE 8 PODCAST SERIES: “7 Deadly Mistakes Parents Make That Create Spoiled Brats!”  In this FREE Audio Parenting Series, you’ll learn the tested methods and strategies that produce the behavior your heart desires from your children.

Transcendent Tuesday: Teaching Children to Look Up

November 20, 2007 at 11:48 pm | Posted in dads, Families, Holidays, moms, Self Esteem, siblings, Transcendent Tuesday, Tweens | Leave a comment
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 When you were a kid you spent lots of time looking up. You needed to to talk to any one bigger than you, which accounted for a lot of people. AND you liked to. There are lots of interesting things that are up. The sky for one. It is always changing and different. When I woke up this morning it was a dull grey. Then it became the mot brilliant blue and now it is a gentle light blue. And tomorrow? Who knows.

What in the world does this have to do with helping your child and their self esteem? Everything. The skys the limit you know. Open your heart and mind to know that your child can be all wonderful things, but will never be the same from one moment to the next.

  • Your child will have seasons, calm times and storms.
  • Your child will be brilliant and dull.
  • Your child is such a fantastic mix that if you don’t keep looking up you will loose sight of what is going on with your child.

And the other thing to understand is that as much as you can prepare for the weather- My motto for my family is “There is no bad weather. There is only bad dressing.” You can not control it. This is the same for your children. If you become so involved with your children that you are their extension neither you nor they will actually do as well as if you are sperate and in complete support of them. Support is endless. It is like dressing to watch a ski race in -20f. There is no end to the amount of clothing to put on. But in the end when I dress the right way to watch my children race I am actually comfy in any weather.

So as you go about your day and wonder how it will turn out, just take a moment and look up.

Preview of the Thoughtful Thursday audio release at “Thanksgiving: The Gentle Holiday.”

Get your copy of “Thanksgiving: The Gentle Holiday” today and start to feel thankful for the blessings of Thanksgiving again!

FREE 8 PODCAST SERIES: “7 Deadly Mistakes Parents Make That Create Spoiled Brats!”  In this FREE Audio Parenting Series, you’ll learn the tested methods and strategies that produce the behavior your heart desires from your children.

Learning Thankfulness

November 13, 2007 at 10:24 pm | Posted in Holidays, Mothers, Self Esteem, Transcendent Tuesday, Tweens | Leave a comment
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As GEM Parenting starts in the celebration of Thanksgiving, our topic for this week will be focused around the joys of being thankful and ways to teach thankfulness to your family

Welcome Transcendent Tuesday…we are thankful you stopped by!
 

Learning Thankfulness

“You are so mean to your Mom,” I overheard two tweens in McDonalds talking as the mother walked toward the counter to buy lunch.

“So, she’ll live,” the second tween commented in return.

Although I am sure it was very painful, the mother did not seem effected by this exchange though she was clearly within hearing.  So often, parents struggle to teach their children the surface level basics of being grateful when what they are really trying to teach is thankfulness. 

Thankfulness, usually celebrated around the Thanksgiving holiday, gives the impression that love, respect, and gratitude are seasonal.  In fact, thankfulness builds an inner sense of self esteem in children because they find the things that make them happy by looking in the truly important places such as family, friends, and even in the most important place…themselves.

When a child can look at themselves with a thankful point of view and see a connection to their role in blessing others, it is much easier for them to say “thank you” and mean it.  Moreover, a thankful child finds it difficult to hurt others with negative words because their self esteem is strong and their sense of self is positive.

GEM Parenting is your community to share with other parents.  Share with us your favorite ways to teach thankfulness to your children

In tomorrows Wisdom Wednesday, our podcasts titled “Bring Thankfulness Home,” will approach the many ways you can integrate thankfulness into your Thanksgiving season and into your families’ lives!

Further, GEM Parenting will release our Parenting Series, the “7 Deadly Mistakes Parents Make That Create Spoiled Brats and How to Avoid Them.”  Be on the lookout for how you can get your copy of the GEM Parenting exclusive parenting audio course the “7 Deadly Mistakes Parents Make That Create Spoiled Brats and How to Avoid Them” completely FREE!

Welcome to GEM Parenting!

November 12, 2007 at 11:51 pm | Posted in Creative Crayon Club, Focused Fridays, Holidays, Motivational Monday, Thoughtful Thursday, Transcendent Tuesday, Wednesday Wisdom, Welcome | 2 Comments
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GEM Parenting is quickly becoming the home on the blogosphere for parents seeking help raising productive, healthy children.  Through learning the skills and strategies to create, instill, and enhance self-esteem in your children, you make them competent, well-balanced, and successful in life.

GEM Parenting welcomes you to our launch.  We picked Thanksgiving as the launch date because being thankful for our children and showing them how to be thankful in return is a large part of our lives.  With this in mind, GEM Parenting will commit to the parenting community to provide insightful intelligence for parents seeking ways to interact with their children.

The GEM Parenting Schedule Includes: 

  • Motivational Monday: For the courage to face the week.
  • Transcendent Tuesday: Where thinking starts to change. 
  • Wisdom Wednesday: GEMs of understanding and insights.
  • Thoughtful Thursday:  Reinforcing Positive GEMs. 
  • Focused Fridays: Finding answers through GEMs of knowledge.  
  • Creative Crayon Club (Saturday):  Family Friendly Activities
  • Sunday will be a day of rest and thankfulness.

Be on the lookout for our first release tomorrow of Transcendent Tuesday focused on Thanksgiving.  Also, coming soon, GEM Parenting will release our Parenting Series, the “7 Deadly Mistakes Parents Make That Create Spoiled Brats and How to Avoid Them.”  Be on the lookout for how you can get your copy of the GEM Parenting exclusive parenting audio course the “7 Deadly Mistakes Parents Make That Create Spoiled Brats and How to Avoid Them” completely FREE! 

Welcome to GEM Parenting…we are glad that you are here! 

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