Thoughtful Thursday: GEM Parenting Secrets Presents: STOP WHINING!

April 3, 2008 at 1:34 pm | Posted in 1, children, Creative Crayon Club, dads, Families, Focused Fridays, Fun Activities, GEM Parenting Secrets, Health, How To, moms, Mothers, Motivational Monday, parents, relationships, Self Esteem, siblings, spirituality, teens, Thoughtful Thursday, toddlers, Transcendent Tuesday, Tweens, Wednesday Wisdom, Welcome | Leave a comment
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What you missed in yesterday’s teleseminar… 

GEM PARENTING SECRETS PRESENTS: Stop Whining!

GEM Parenting SecretsStop Whining Children – Create High Self Esteem

MP3 File

… but the Podcast is available now

Eradicate whining from Your Children’s Behavior, And create high self-esteem behavior in its place!

Every time you have to listen to your children whine one you cringe at the sound, want to scream and make them stop, but you feel trapped by this way your children talk then this is the teleseminar for you.

Learn why whining has become so prevalent. How it lowers your children’s self esteem and how you can actually stop the behavior. And at the same time increase your children’s natural high self-esteem.

For only $5.99 you can listen to this podcast and find out the best ways to stop whining in your children and have a family filled with high self-esteem. Includes G.E.M. Action Guide, Expert Article, and Grace’s Personal Article.

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Wednesday Wisdom: Stop Whining in Kids, Increase Their Self-Esteem

April 1, 2008 at 11:59 pm | Posted in 1, children, Creative Crayon Club, dads, Families, Focused Fridays, Fun Activities, GEM Parenting Secrets, Health, How To, moms, Mothers, Motivational Monday, parents, relationships, Safety, Self Esteem, siblings, spirituality, teens, Thoughtful Thursday, toddlers, Transcendent Tuesday, Tweens, Wednesday Wisdom, Welcome | Leave a comment
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animated-green-star.gifStop Whining in Kids, Increase Their Self Esteem  animated-green-star.gif  

Whining in kids has become an epidemic. Everywhere you go kids whine, and the worst part is parents can’t figure out what to do to stop this annoying behavior. Many parents think their kids will outgrow it, but you can see more and more young adults whining – having been raised with this behavior as the norm. Whining doesn’t automatically go away.

Not only does whining stay unless another behavior is taught to replace it, whining will decrease the whiner’s self esteem. So by letting your child continue to whine you create stress and tension for yourself and actually encourage your child to have low self-esteem.

How has whining become such a major part of our culture? It goes back to how the media is marketing to us and we are responding. We have so many role models in the public media who whine, both in their professional parts and in their private lives that we are beginning to think of whining as a natural and acceptable form of communication. But we all know, no matter what, we hate to hear whining from other people, especially our own kids.

What can you do as a parent to stop whining in your house, if there is so much rampant whining going on in all directions around you? I suggest a simple three-part process. First, you need to change your attitude and thoughts about whining. Second, you need to implement some behavior changes in yourself and your children. Third, you need to follow through with these changes for at least eight weeks.

Changing your attitude about whining can be truly simple. Each time you hear whining around you, don’t have a huffy breath response. Instead say to yourself, “That’s whining. I don’t like it. It is not acceptable in my house.” This is for ANY whining– TV, radio, magazines, books, friends, your children’s friends, you, your spouse, and of course your children. Some people like concrete evidence of their changes. To do this, make a two-column chart. On the left will be the time and place you allowed whining in your house. On the right will be the time and place you chose to not accept whining in your house. Obviously, you want the right side to become longer than the left. For two weeks just jot down what you think. This gives you the opportunity to really see where all the whining is.

After two weeks, you will begin to put actions behind your thoughts. Now that you are fully aware of where the whining is, and have begun to repeatedly say to yourself that you do not accept whining in your house, it is time to go public. You may think this will be pretty hard because, as you see, you have whining everywhere. But it can be simple. Each time whining occurs around you, say to the whiner – even objects – “I am making a change in our house. Since I know changes are hard we need to work together. Whining is not acceptable in our house. Let’s hit the rewind button. With the rewind button you can say what you want without whining.” This is a cut and dry version. Sometimes it is easiest to start with this exact wording. But if you can put humor and fun in it, both you and your family will enjoy the changes.

The third step is to follow through with these changes for eight weeks. It takes six weeks to form a new habit, so by going to eight the changes will no longer be a new habit. Whining will be gone from your house.

Enjoy your whine-free day!

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To have a downloadable version of Grace’s article, please click here!

Transcedent Tuesday: Stop Whining Children – Create High Self-Esteem

March 31, 2008 at 11:03 pm | Posted in 1, children, Creative Crayon Club, dads, Families, Focused Fridays, Fun Activities, GEM Parenting Secrets, Health, How To, moms, Mothers, Motivational Monday, parents, relationships, Safety, Self Esteem, siblings, teens, Thoughtful Thursday, toddlers, Transcendent Tuesday, Tweens, Wednesday Wisdom, Welcome | Leave a comment
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GEM Parenting Presents Dr. Marilyn Heins

 
Dr. Heins is a Pediatrician, author, newspaper columnist, lecturer, wife, mother, step-mother, and grandmother.
Dr. Heins‘ advice balances the needs of the parent with the
needs of the child.
crawls.gifWHININGcrawls.gif

 Why do young children whine?

What can parents do about it before the whining drives them crazy?

Young children whine to get attention and all kids whineWhining seems to be an “innate” behavior, sort of between crying and speaking. Kids come into this world with all the necessary equipment to cry and they are also programmed to learn language.  Every preschooler is entitled to a cranky day when he or she feels out of sorts and whines a lot. Such whining merely indicates that the child is having a bad day. However, chronic whining–the kind that drives a parent up the wall–is often unwittingly caused by the way parents react to the whining child.

THE BEST WAY TO STOP WHINING IS TO CHANGE RESPONSE BEHAVIOR IN THE PARENT.

Here are the Heins’ suggestions for dealing with chronic whining:

  • When your child whines, never give in to the child. Establish a firm rule: we do not give the child anything unless it is asked for in a non-whining tone of voice.
  • Be sure your child knows what you mean by whining and how it sounds. Role-play using a normal voice and a whining voice and ask the child to do the same.
  • Tell the child that whining hurts your ears. If the child can’t or won’t stop whining, the child will have to go the “whining place” (somewhere out of earshot) and stay there until the whining stops. Tell the child that it’s OK to whine as long as it’s done in the whining place where you don’t have to hear it.

The child can come out of the whining place as soon as the whining stops. The child controls the length of stay by controlling the behavior. (This is different from a time-out place where the child must stay until the timer goes off.) A whining place works for two reasons:

  1. The child does not get attention from the parents and 
  2. The parents do not have to listen to the obnoxious sound of a whining child.  

  • Try to prevent whining by keeping the child from getting overly tired or hungry.
  • Try to eliminate the child’s need to whine by really listening when the child properly asks for your attention.

Remember focused attention is a parent’s undivided attention to the child. And every child needs some of this focused attention every day. Often the “whining-est” households are the ones where parents use the phrases, “In a minute!” or “Not now, I’m busy!” many times a day. These are legitimate phrases to use on occasion, but don’t overdo it with a three year old. To a three year old, a minute is a long time.

I am personally convinced that whining is much less common among children whose parents provide brief, but intense and readily responsive, attention when the child needs it. This seems to “immunize” the child so that he or she is better able to resist the whining virus.

Dr. Heins

www.ParentKidsRight.com

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You can download this article by clicking on the link below

http://www.gemparenting.com/teleseminars/2008/040208-stop-whining-expert-heins-marilyn.pdf 

Enjoy your day!

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Motivational Monday: Whining Children

March 30, 2008 at 11:20 pm | Posted in 1, children, Creative Crayon Club, Families, Focused Fridays, Fun Activities, GEM Parenting Secrets, Health, How To, moms, Mothers, Motivational Monday, parents, relationships, Self Esteem, siblings, spirituality, teens, Thoughtful Thursday, toddlers, Transcendent Tuesday, Tweens, Wednesday Wisdom, Welcome | Leave a comment
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Hi and Welcome to GEM Parenting! 

If you have been a follower of our programs, you may have wondered where we were. Well, I have been doing what I do best.  I have been parenting my children through their winter activities.  You see my, children are high-level ski racers.  This means in the winter I am extremely busy with them.  Now we are winding down from that high level of activity and I can refocus on your family self-esteem needs, which is the other thing I do best.  I have to say I have really missed you over the past month.   

This week we will be talking about whining children.  I see whining children as an epidemic.  Everywhere you go children use this high-pitched tone to try and get what they want.  It is incredibly annoying as a parent to hear, and the behavior actually lowers your child’s self-esteem.  So with whining you have a double negative.  The simplest way to start to rid whining from your house is to have your child repeat what they want to say with a new tone.

Stop Whining Children – Create High Self Esteem

MP3 File

Join us for this week to learn why whining reduces your child’s self-esteem and how to eradicate whining from your child’s behavior.

                                            Stop Whining

Transcendent Tuesday:  Tomorrow we will have an exciting article.  You don’t want to miss it!

Wisdom Wednesday:  You will get an article directly from me with my personal twist of how to get rid of whining from your children and actually create a home with natural high self-esteem.

You can join GEM Parenting Secrets on Wednesday, at 4:00 p.m. EST, for the teleseminar Eradicate Whining from Your Children’s Behavior, and Create High Self-Esteem Behavior in its PlaceClick here for sign up and info.

For only $5.99 you can join this teleseminar and find out the best ways to stop whining in your children and have a family filled with high self-esteem.

Whining Child                   worried_m.gif              sorrowful_m.gif

Thoughtful Thursday:  This is the day the podcast , Eradicate whining from Your Children’s Behavior, and Create High Self-Esteem Behavior in its Place, will be released to the public.  The podcast will not be available till Thursday.                                             

Focused Friday:  Send in your questions about whining children today so that we can give you feedback by Friday.  Email your questions to me at Grace@gemparenting.com.

Creative Crayon ClubCome join us for some activities and new products to help reduce whining in your children. Remember to sign up today for GEM Parenting Secrets. 

                     0704crayons_m.gif                     Happy Kids

Have a wonderful week!

Grace’s Signature

How To Rid Yourself Of Unwanted Weight

February 14, 2008 at 10:47 am | Posted in children, dads, Diet / Nutrition, Families, GEM Parenting Secrets, Health, How To, marriage, moms, Mothers, parents, relationships, Self Esteem, spirituality, teens, toddlers, Tweens | Leave a comment
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Lets just get down to the nuts and bolts of how to rid yourself of unwanted weight, which for many of you is quite easy.  The phantom puzzle piece that keeps eluding you is the piece on maintaining the results.

Maintaining the results is not so easy if you don’t know what to do. You may fall prey to the crazy ads and claims that feed off your emotions and not upon your ability to rationalize and determine for yourself what makes sense and what doesn’t.

What saddens me is not the tons of money being lost but the loss of self respect, confidence, and ability to know what is best for yourself in the perpetual effort to “lose weight now.”

As a lifestyle fitness coach, I know how important it is for you to maintain a healthy weight.  And as a woman, I know how important it is to feel confident and sexy within yourself, how your appearance reflects who you really are.  To stop hiding and bodaciously express yourself as if you were you nail color.  (I love that quote by Mary Foley)

So how are you going to find that phantom puzzle piece and finally place it in your weight loss/fitness puzzle to achieve your bodacious figure?

I have the solution!

  • First, it is important that you realize that doing just one thing rarely works for achieving lasting weight loss results.  It usually takes a combined effort of putting just the right puzzle pieces in place to get rid of unwanted weight and live a healthy, joyful lifestyle.  This isn’t rocket science, you probably familiar with a few of these but all you need is some tweaking.

A weight loss program needs to combine supportive mindful nutrition, focused daily exercise, a strong mental foundation, and an inner sparkle that ignites your motivation.

  • Second, is something that most women rarely do.  Believe it will happen!  When I interview women who have lost 50, 60, 80 pounds there is one common factor I see. They started believing in themselves, and visualizing themselves as a fitter, healthier, and happier woman.  Taking one pound at a time and celebrating their successes. 

Visualize yourself doing the things you love as the new you.  Start taking positive action that reflects who you really are.  Prevent yourself getting caught up in guilt, discouragement, worry, and frustration.  This always sabotages your efforts.

  • Third, watch your language!  “We are of what we speak” If you keeping speaking about how fat you are, you subconsciously sabotage your efforts and keep yourself fat.  I know…doesn’t that sound absolutely ridiculous!  But never under estimate the power of your thoughts, language and subconscious mind.  If you keep telling yourself how much you hate your fat thighs you must change your language.  Start expressing gratitude for all your thighs have done for you.  “My thighs are getting stronger and toner through my exercise efforts.  They allow me to glide effortlessly through the shopping mall or while I cross country ski and they help me lift my groceries out of the mini van.” 

Switch your thinking so that the language comes through in a more positive, uplifting compassionate way. Do this every day in conversation and inner self talk.

  • Fourth, look at your past diets and how they effected you not only physically but also emotionally and spiritually.  Most diets cause a backlash of intense emotions that drive women to binge after depriving themselves of what society calls “bad food.”  Diets cause a complete disconnection to the body and mind.  A person learns a mindless form of eating through exposure to one diet after another.  Diets alone have taught us not to live in the now but always look into the future.  As you diet, you look forward to the time when you can eat normally again.  Diets become an outside source of what to eat, when to eat, and how much.  Mindful eating on the other hand has been proven to have an 85% success rate because you learn to honor your hunger and reconnect body and mind to eat when hungry until satisfied.  This is normal eating, watch any two year old eat.  They will leave a half of an Oreo cookie on the counter and be totally content with one bite. How about you?

Reconnect your body and mind with food and listen to your inner biological cues for hunger and satisfaction.  Enjoy the chocolate chip cookie, taste it, smell it, swish it around in your mouth and enjoy the pleasure and feeling of it go down your throat.  You  just may notice that a couple bites are all you need.

Sign up today for Amy’s life changing course Self-Care Before Sit-Ups 10 Week Transformation by visiting www.selfcarebeforesitups.com  Learn how you can effortlessly eliminate excess weight for good and end the cycle of dieting and weight loss failure so that you can live a healthy, vital life full of joy and energy.

Listen to our informative podcast Self-Care Before Sit-Ups! podcast on how to bring health to you and your family today for only $5.99!

About the Author:
Amy Lundberg owner of Aim For It – Fitness Coaching LLC helps women build an inner foundation to find balance and to bring about a healthier fit body and lifestyle.  She has developed Self Care Before Sit-ups E-book and 10-week course.  Amy is a certified Intuitive Eating Coach, Personal Fitness Trainer and Lifestyle Fitness Coach.  Go to www.aimforfitness.com for more information and receive a free 45-minute consult to gain clarity on what is best for you in reaching and maintaining your goals.

Create Healthy Eating Habits that Actually Increase Your Children’s Self Esteem

February 14, 2008 at 10:14 am | Posted in children, dads, Diet / Nutrition, Families, Health, How To, moms, Mothers, parents, Self Esteem, siblings, teens, toddlers, Tweens | Leave a comment
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We are bombarded with messages everyday that imply we need to eat better, be more fit, and stay calm and happy.  And as a mom you have even more pressure on you.  You not only have to do this for yourself, but you have to do this for your family.  And you know at the moment it is a loosing battle. 

Or is it?  Is there a way to eat better, stay fit, and be calm and happy?  This is a pretty tall order.  I have three simple steps to begin teaching your family to have healthy eating habits.  What I am going to share with you is much more than habits actually.  They include how you think, how you act, and what you say.  These ideas will give you a new and lasting life style change for you and your children.

  • The first thing to understand is how your thinking can be detrimental to your family’s eating habits.  As parents it is our responsibility to be sure our children are eating well.  Yet there is so much out there that we know is junk, how can we separate the junk food from the healthy food? 
  • In your own thinking establish foods that you are comfortable with your kids eating.  With these foods in mind make a poster with your children that you can display in a prominent place in your kitchen. 

Here is a fun and interactive way to do this:

  • Have your children cut out as many pictures of food as they can find.  Have them put the pictures in two piles- Healthy foods and Not Healthy foods.  You will be surprised at what they come up with.  Some will be right on target and some will be way off.  After you have finished this part go through the pictures and talk about why each food is healthy or not.  A quick word or sentence is sufficient.  As you do this repile the pictures. 
  • Now get glue and poster board.  Glue all the healthy foods on the poster board.  Display in your kitchen. 
  • Explain to your children that these are foods that they can eat as much of as they want.  And point out the foods they love that are on the poster.
  • This gives everyone a concrete visual to help in healthy eating.  The visual will help your children think about healthy foods and you won’t need to be a nag. 
  • When your children ask if they can have something to eat, you can refer them to the poster.  This puts some responsibility on them.  If someone finds a new picture to add, by all means, add it on.

When you change the thinking dynamic to one of offering healthy foods that are not emotionally charged, you allow your children to maintain and develop intuitive eating habits.  You take pressure and stress of eating because everyone has the same poster and you made it together.

This also allows you to change your own inner negative recording that plays over and over in your mind.  You will no longer need to be depriving yourself you will be giving yourself the opportunity to create your own new message about food.

When you create a new message about food and eating that is simple, clear, and unattached to the past you will free your own self from negative self talk and thus increase you self esteem.

This is a starting point to create healthy eating habits and increase your family’s self esteem.

Focused Friday: Self-Care Before Sit-Ups

February 8, 2008 at 4:05 am | Posted in children, dads, Diet / Nutrition, Families, Focused Fridays, Health, How To, moms, Mothers, parents, relationships, Self Esteem, siblings, teens, toddlers, Tweens | Leave a comment
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JOIN our GEM Parenting Secrets Tele-class teaching the best holistic health practices with  Self-Care Before Sit-Ups.

If you ever battled frustration and silently screamed from failed weight loss attempts, poor health, and lack of will power you are not alone. Statistics indicate that dieting has a 95% failure rate!

When you participate in this life changing program you will:

  • End the cycle of dieting and weight loss failure!
  • Learn the number one sabotaging thought that destroys your progress
  • Put yourself first and still give 100% to your family
  • Discover fast simple easy strategies to gain more energy for your day to day activities
  • Replace “fat” habits with “lean” habits
  • Effortlessly eliminate excess weight

Join us on Monday at 5 pm on February 11, 2008 for this informative Self-Care Before Sit-Ups tele-conference on how to bring health to you and your family today for only $1.99!

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