Picking a new family car- thinking about your athletes

April 28, 2011 at 2:12 pm | Posted in moms, travel | Leave a comment
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It’s so crazy to be a mom of athletes who have lives and me still having my own life.  And when my car’s power steering broke- well time to add new car to my activity list.

This morning the girls and I went to check out a car.  The one I’ve been driving is a 2002 with 230K+ miles on it.  It’s white dodge caravan- Now a toasted marshmallow- because of the rust spots.

The new one?  Chevy Traverse.  Why?

The girls want to have bench rows, not bucket seats- First and foremost when gong on long trips they can stretch out and sleep better in rows.   They can sort of pile up on each other for comfort and warmth.

Also the bench rows fold down- all or part- So if we want to put in some skis we can with out losing too much passenger space.

Another thing about not having bucket seats- with bucket seats if you want to put anything in the car you have to lift it over the side seats and stuff it in the middle- I know for my family this would be crazy!  And things would get in that middle and stay for indefinite periods of time.

Another thing is the comfort of the third row- It feels like real seats.  With real legroom.  Critical question- Is it more comfortable than an airplane seat?  YES was the immediate response.

Cup holders are also a necessity- We eat and drink regularly in the car.  So a place to keep the food is pretty important.

Being that the girls are teenagers (or almost) -sound is critical, as well as hands free phone- √ Talking while driving can be done safely and tunes can amp up the drive.

Of course tons of airbags are a great thing no matter what.

And the cargo space in the back- behind the third seat- the kind that sort of vanishes in many of this sized cars- well it’s there- with room for a full hockey bag and one on top of it!  If you know hockey bags you know this means SPACE.

Color is fun- but can get pricey so I went with silver or white-

I prefer cloth seats- comfy in cold or heat.  No need to have a heater for the seats in the winter.  And no sweating and sticking in the summer- I can’t stand to be all sweaty from running and sit on sticky leather seats in my shorts the summer.  Or to scorch myself because they’re burning hot.

We’re pretty excited- I think that the girls will love the new ride and I will too!

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Times When You Feel You Just Can’t —-

April 15, 2011 at 5:40 pm | Posted in Music, Self Esteem | Leave a comment
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I know there are times when you feel you just can’t —- And what is really missing? Confidence. That’s all you really need.

This is one of my all time favorite songs- from my childhood to right now!  It’s helped me with many aspects of life.  Times when I’m scared to pieces, times when I know I’m on a roll-  BUT there is that little bit of me that just wants to run away and hide.

SO I sing away about having confidence in me.  And it always works.

Maria- the real Maria- had plenty of confidence.  Of course you all know her story of rags to riches to escape. But not many know what happened after that.

The shortest version is- She and her whole family ended up in the Green Mountains of VT. And still loved to sing and ski.  They did not have much money though.  Maria went to every person she knew with her script and was turned down by over 100 producers. And guess what she sang each time before her interviews?

You guessed it- This very song of confidence.  This was her own personal song and she has shared it with us through the amazing voice of Julia Andrews.

You may not choose this song, but may have another song that gives you confidence.

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Mom’s Job When Kid Is Named Captain

November 30, 2010 at 2:36 pm | Posted in moms, Moms of talented teens, peer pressure, Self Esteem, sports | 2 Comments
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She’s the captain of her ice hockey team at ten!  What an honor and accomplishment.  She called all her relatives as soon as she found out.

What about me, her mom?  How do I react to this?  What is my responsibility?  What do I do about her sisters?  None of them were ever captains in any sport.

Of course there’s a bit of history here.  Jilly was invited to play up for the peewee team, not based on skills but more because the team needed a few more players.  I told the coaches of both teams I would decide which team based soley on what I thought was most important for my child.   I would not, under any circumstances, put my daughter on a team just to make it happen.

Of course Jilly was all swaggery when she got the news. She was oh so cool!  She was going to play up.   But the moment I had her alone in the car the first thing I said was, “I alone will make thie decision based on what is best for you.  I’ll listen to your ideas, but you will not make the decision.  I think at ten you’re too young to figure this all out.”

Since we already have a great relationship based on trust and respect she knew I was going to do what was best for her, not what was seem by others as cool or being above others. Cause what they think just doesn’t matter!

It was clear to me that giving Jilly another year as a squirt would give her more time to get basic skills, she loved working with the coaches of squirts, and she could really use a year as being one of the best.  Even if she didn’t have all her sisters with all their accomplishments, it’s so important to have a time when you are the best.  When the others look up to you. When you can help out and be a leader.

So squirts it was.  Until I heard from Jilly that they, the kids, would be picking captains the next week.  Then my head reeled. I’d been through this too many times.  Captains at ten chosen by teammates has had more negative effect than no captains.  My personal opinion is to have captains for each week.  They lead the warm ups for practices and game, shake hands with the refs, lead the pregame cheer, and lead the hand slap at the end of the game.  It’s a learning experience for each kid.

But to be captain for the season- now that’s a true honor and responsibility.  One not to be given hastily or lightly. One that most nine and ten year olds just don’t have the capacity to truly understand.  If there are going to be captains, the coaches need to be very able to choose based on the true value of the player, with complete open minds.

I talked with the coaches.  Explained my personal concern about kids choosing their captains.  And then dropped the bomb. I told the coaches that I couldn’t let Jilly participate if the captains were chosen by the teammates.  They nodded, said, “Hmmm, hadn’t really thought about that.”  Then I never mentioned captains again to the coaches or Jilly.

This past weekend was the third weekend of games.  I could tell the moment I saw the team come out of the locker room that Jilly had been chosen captain.  She had this look of control and determination on her face. She was in charge and going to make it happen!

I was certain when she and another player went over to the refs and shook hands.  And guess what – me who opposed captains- had a SURGE of pride.  That was my little girl who was captain.  And I truly believe she deserved to be chosen captain.

So what is my responsibility?  Isn’t that what I’m supposed to be writing about?  Well my responsibility is to help Jilly understand the honor and responsibility of being chosen captain.  That being captain is partly about being a great player, but more importantly about being a leader. About the team moral and focus.  It’s about good sportsmanship, paying attention to the coaches, guiding the other kids to do their best. When the game is tough and they are loosing it’s about keeping the spirit up and still trying their hardest.

Being captain doesn’t mean to fake energy or excitement.  It doesn’t mean to suck up to the coaches.  It means to have pride, respect, and leadership.  Being a skilled player helps, but it’s not what a captain is all about.  Even Mia Hamm or Kristine Lilly weren’t the captains of the US soccer team.

how movies are killing your teen daughters

February 17, 2010 at 6:29 am | Posted in 1 | Leave a comment
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Beware of what goes on in the movies your kids watch- Its their life that gets affected! http://bit.ly/dlX6Pz

“At a time in their development where children and adolescents are very susceptible to outside influences, we have to carefully examine the influence of all the factors that are combining to create what may

end up being lifelong habits around food and lifestyle choices.” Sutherland who was part of a team of advisers that, in 2006, helped to develop the Guiding Stars program used by supermarkets to help shoppers better identify the nutritional values of food products.
It’s these super simple subliminal- That means you don’t know they are happening- messages that get your teen girls.  Its really critical that you understand that the simplest little placement in a movie can hook your teen for life in a bad habit-  If you know about how this works and why- you are so less apt to get hooked.

In the article it states-

“Although the impact of this type of advertising on children is not fully known, it provides a likely avenue by which brand loyalty and product preference can be built.”

I’d have to say this is total crap-  These companies and advertisers know full well what they are doing-  They would never pay to have their product in strategic points of the movies if they did not fully expect the results they get.  And somehow the public thinks-“Well if there isn’t a study saying its happening it must be OK.”

Look-advertisers want your girls  to buy their product.  They really don’t care if its going to be unhealthy, ruin their self-esteem, or anything like that.  Most want your girls to get hooked on their product.  And they look to kids-  ESPECIALLY TEEN GIRLS – HEY WAKE UP CALL that’s YOUR DAUGHTER- to get them to be life long supporters of their products.

Why girls?  Lots of reasons-  Here’s a few- see if any resonate with you.

  1. Girls are more out there verbally
  2. Girls are leaders of trends
  3. Girls buy more than guys
  4. Girls are more effected by outside pressures
  5. Girls are more easily influenced
  6. Girls have more self-esteem issues

And here’s one you may not know about but its HUGE-

Girls become mothers- mothers make 99% of purchases for families.- That’s you moms- (So all this really pertains to you too)

With all this, can you understand why advertisers are desperate to get YOUR DAUGHTER to be hooked on their products?  If they get hooked now- they are set for life.

They care nothing for your daughter actually-  They only care to get their product sales higher now-and help with the future of the company if possible.

Now go back and look at that list again-

especially the top two-

These are powerful and strong-

Use these to your daughter’s personal advantage-

Let her know she is strong- she is a trend setter-she can let others know

what is better for them just by doing and being strong herself-(Oh Moms guess what-  You can do al this yourself- set and example, be your own strong and competent self.)

Have your daughter notice what is being shown in the movie-  really get it clear in her mind-

Cause then you have a real chance of 3-6 being about some other girls – not your daughter.

And you have the chance that your daughter can support her friends to be strong just like her. (And if you jump int this game she’ll really have strengtha and even respect for you.)

Let her know she doesn’t have to be a nerd to be able to resist bad choices- She has to be someone with amazing high self esteem-  She has to be able to be your own personal best!

Go to the  movies- have fun- and help your daughter stay true to herself.

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A place for teen girl athletes to meet, to share, to learn!

Come discover and share what it means to be a committed teen girl athlete and a well-rounded, savvy individual. Insightful information is added all the time.

Girl the Boys that come in your path

November 1, 2009 at 12:33 pm | Posted in 1 | Leave a comment
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Just a quick update about Jilly’s coed hockey team-(Jilly is Grace’s 9 yo daughter, Jamie and Jeanee’s little sister).  The team is coed.  A girl scored the first goal.  There was no time division between how much the girls played as compared to the boys.  And most importantly there was NO difference between the aggressive spirit or the skills level of the boys or girls.

When I was a girl most of this would have been really Bizarre.  There were few if any girls who even played ice hockey.  And those that did had a real tough time of it.  They had to be way tough, take constant attack and abuse-from their own team members and their parents.  Some leagues refused to allow the girls to play at all.  Some refs decided AT THE GAMES that they would not allow the girls to play.  To have a coed team be the norm is fantastic!

The attitude of girls has changed immensely as well.  The fact that the girl who got the first goal knew what she could do and acted upon her ability and chance for a goal without holding anything back was thrilling to see.  There are still some girls, when put in a coed situation, who hold back for some unfortunate fear of upsetting boys.

The time playing is extremely important.  When a player is excellent yet made to sit on the bench due to being a girl you can be sure it has a negative effect on her.  To have a team that regards the girls as having as much skill, ability, and experience as the boys allows the girls to be at their best.  There is no need to feel anxious or worried that “as a girl I some how don’t make the mark.”

Out on the ice, when they were in their uniforms, pads and helmets, it was impossible to tell which were boys and which were girls.  Again in the past, the girls had a body language that made them stand apart from the boys.  This has disappeared.  The girls have the same energy and stance as any boy out there- some with more of the athletic stance than the boys.

You go girls!  And girl all the boys that come in your path!

 

This is blog post in http://TigressTeens.ning.com

If you are a teen girl athlete you should check this out

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