Female Octogenarians Caught Playing at the Beach

July 28, 2011 at 4:27 pm | Posted in attitudes, Health | Leave a comment
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OK so to start- what in the world is an octogenarian? It happens to be one of my favorite words. It means a person who is 80. And if you are 80 I think you really do deserve such a fancy and fun name as octogenarian. Anyway, I was out in the water playing dunk my 11 year old daughter. My mother and her cousin were doing their exercises in the waist deep water. Walking, using their arms, and looking solid and strong, and just a bit serious.

Then all of a sudden they began to play catch. They tossed the little orange and black water ball-the new ones for this sumer that “bounce” in the water- And things changed. There was bit of a giggle floating across the water. They began to have just a bit of a bounce in their movements. Then it happened- they let loose and began to splash. These two old ladies- yes my mother and her cousin are old ladies- they splashed each other for all they were worth.

Needless to say I was in utter hysterics, as were many other beach goers. Who ever saw old ladies just let loose and play like that? Not me.

SO after they settled down in their beach chairs, I asked them what it was like to get out there and play like that. “OH, were we playing?” said my mother. “I was just trying to get your mother back for all the times she got me. I thought this might be my best chance ever.” “And was it?” asked my mother. “No- you won again like always.” “And boy was it ever fun!” They both said in unison and burst into that laugh you usually only hear with a couple of 8 year olds.

So at 8 or 80+ the desire to play a physical competition still lingers. My mother wasn’t about to let her “little” cousin get the best of her. And her cousin still longed to win. Bottom line- It was fun.

But how could they still do it? Lots of things. Here’s a few things.
* They still do exercises daily
* They eat healthy- relatively anyway
* They think they can do things
* They love to compete
* They have high self-esteem

So as you do your play or compete formally, know that you may be setting yourself up for an octogenarian all out splash fight in a few years down the line. IF nothing else it will make others have a great ab workout with all the laughing caused by you.

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Be friendly to Your Kids

November 14, 2008 at 7:51 am | Posted in children, dads, Families, moms, Mothers, parents, Self Esteem | 2 Comments
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New feature today-

Audio so you can listen instead of read.

Try it out and let me know what you think.

http://www.audioacrobat.com/play/WymjBmf4

Copy and paste to be able to hear.

 Today is Friendly Friday.

Put energy into being friendly today.  Smile when you notice you aren’t.  Say hi to everyone you can.

Be friendly.

 

I want you to be this way with your kids as well as people you know and see outside your home.

 We often forget to be cordial and friendly to our kids. We are with them all the time.  We want to just relax at home.  We are just too busy to bother with being friendly- school buses, work, dishes, homework, activities-they all get in the way.

So today (even if you don’t read this till Saturday or Monday) get friendly.  Smile. Say hi as though you are glad to see you kids.  When they wake up, when they come into the room or you go into the room they are in.

 

Feel silly doing that?  Then ham it up. Go ahead, its OK, your kids will either think you’re silly or you have lost it.  What ever they think, they will like you being friendly.

Now this does not mean giving up on being the parent, and being their pal or equal. 

 

  • It means giving them respect. 
  • It means giving them kindness.
  • It means giving them appreciation.

Basically it means being friendly. And when you, as a parent are friendly you give your children the opportunity to grow with self respect, self kindness, and self appreciation.

Guess what all these are part of?  Self Esteem.  Yep.  That’s all there is to it for today.

Be friendly.

Oh, and I found the name of the young man in the video that was banned from youtube.  It is Nick Vujicic, and his site is http://www.lifewithoutlimbs.org/ His is a must see!

So have a friendly Friday,  And of course

Parent with Passion, Purpose, and Integrity,

Grace

PS. If you donate to life without limbs I will send you a GEMParenting podcast.

You just have to let me know you donated. Not the amount, just the action of doing it.

 

Concentrate on the Small Wonders

November 12, 2008 at 7:43 am | Posted in dads, Families, moms, Mothers, parents, Self Esteem | 2 Comments
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Good Morning. It is Wonderful Wednesday. That means you get to MAKE it full of wonder. Concentrate on the small wonders, appreciate them

 

These small wonders may be your children, or they may be your toes.  You know without your toes it is much harder to walk and balance? Of course it can be done.  You can get on without much.

 

Check this video out.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2I0DRk8dFjI

 

I had tears.

I had inspiration.

I am humbled.

 

Have a wonderful day and

Parent with Passion, Purpose, and Integrity,

 

Grace

Creative Crayon Club: Family Activities for Natural Self-Esteem

June 6, 2008 at 9:55 pm | Posted in 1, attitudes, children, Creative Crayon Club, dads, Family Time, Fun Activities, GEM Parenting Secrets, How To, Mothers, parents, responsibilities, Self Esteem | 1 Comment
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www.GEMParenting.com

Creative Crayon Club is one of my favorite times of the week.

At my house we use our Creative Crayon Club as a special time to be together.  We can have friends over, or be just ourselves. We have a special two-hour time that we devote to this family time.  And giving it a name means I can put it on my calendar.

We are back to younger children. (You can adapt these for teens or look to May CCC entries for teen activities.)

 

Castle Sock Puppets

What you need:

  • Old Socks
  • Permanent markers
  • Yarn
  • Bits of cloth
  • Googly eyes
  • Tin foil
  • Fabric quick glue
  • Scissors
  • Stapler

*  You must have at least the socks and markers.  The rest are suggestions that can be added on.

What you do:

You take the sock and use the toe section for the head.

Draw, glue and staple to make the head.  (Using a stapler means the puppet will be usable as you make it.)

Make two slits in the side of the sock for fingers to stick out.  These will be the arms.

That is it!

 

 Ants on a Log

What you need:

  • Celery
  • Peanut butter
  • Black raisins

Have your child spread peanut butter on the celery.  Put raisins on the peanut butter.

That’s how you get to eat Ants on a Log!

   

Castle Puppet Show

What you need:

  • Cereal boxes
  • Markers, crayons
  • Tape
  • Cleared off table or other place to set up puppet show

First you need to make a bit of scenery.  You can use old cereal boxes, or just “borrow” the ones that have cereal in them right now. 

Cover the boxes with paper.

Color the paper to look the way you want the castle to look.

Place these as sides for the puppet stage.  You may want to tape them down.

If you use a table, put a long draping thing- either a tablecloth or a towel in front to keep the “backstage” hidden.  Tape this in place as well.

What you do:

Each person has a time limit of one to two minutes to act out the puppet show.  This includes all children and all adults.

This is a fun interactive way to get you involved with the creative parts of your children’s lives.  When you involve yourself in their lives at their level this will teach them that you value them for who they are at this moment.

What is your favorite thing to do with your child?  Tell us in the comment area.

Most of all, enjoy the time you spend with your children!

 

Grace E. Mauzy, MA works with overwhelmed, stressed parents having difficulty comfortably cope with parenting. Parents learn positive intervention utilizing strategies and tactics to develop high self-esteem in children. Grace is the founder of GEM Parenting – an online community dedicated to parenting with passion, purpose, and integrity. (GEMParenting.com) Through Grace’s professional and personal life experiences, she has a unique ability to understand and empower parents to implement new parenting styles, allowing them to challenge themselves to break free of their destructive behaviors and attitudes.  And raise their children with confidence, peace, and harmony.  To learn more about her powerful speaking, coaching, and workshops, or to receive Grace’s motivating audio course “The 7 Deadly Mistakes Parents Make That Create Spoiled Brats – And How You Can Avoid Them!” visit http://www.7deadlymistakesparentsmake.com or visit http://www.GEMParenting.com.

Thoughtful Thursday: Positive Intervention

June 5, 2008 at 11:00 pm | Posted in attitudes, children, Creative Crayon Club, dads, Families, Family Time, Focused Fridays, Fun Activities, GEM Parenting Secrets, moms, Mothers, Motivational Monday, parents, peer pressure, relationships, respect, responsibilities, Self Esteem, siblings, teenagers, Thoughtful Thursday, Tweens | 1 Comment
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I used Positive Intervention to stop over exuberance at a birthday party

Last weekend I had my youngest child’s birthday party.  We had twelve children including my two youngest. 

At one point we were playing Castle- the kids had played musical dress ups, and from there we evolved into castle with my daughter being the queen.  There were two knights having a jousting competition.  One child to began to take the jousting just a bit too far.  Rather than stand back watch and hope things would end up OK.  Or stop everything and single out the over jouster by telling him in front of everyone to calm down, I intervened.  I announced a short break for the jousters to everyone.  I took the overly exuberant knight by the hand away from everyone else.  I had him sit upstairs with me for five minutes to calm down.  When we came back down, I resumed the activity with simply saying we were done taking the five-minute break.

This is a perfect example of positive intervention.  No one was disciplined; no one was punished or made to feel bad in any way.  I simply intervened.  When you use positive intervention as one of your main principles of parenting you have only one course to go.  That is to create, instill, and maintain high self-esteem in your children.

What have you done lately that was positive intervention?  Why not share with others, and if you do I will personally respond back.

  

Wisdom Wednesday: What is Natural Self-Esteem?

June 4, 2008 at 2:08 am | Posted in attitudes, children, Creative Crayon Club, dads, Families, Family Time, GEM Parenting Secrets | 1 Comment
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www.GEMParenting.com

What is Natural Self-Esteem?

I am a busy mother filled with all the daily tasks that seem to overwhelm us and have more things in a day than can be done.  I could be constantly question myself about my parenting.  But instead, I have a rather calm, well-managed life that is so busy no one can keep up.  How in the world can I have life that is so contradictory?  Simple – my family and I have natural high self-esteem.  And you can have this too.

In the dark ages of my life- from BC, you know “before children” – to AD, that means “all done” having children- there was a time when I was a psychotherapist.  And I had a specialty-high self-esteem. 

When you have low self-esteem your entire life is affected.  Life just does not work out the way you want it to.  You are continually trying to improve your life.  You are never satisfied and you know that you are not measuring up to others.  You need constant reinforcement.  Life is a task to get through and others have it but you don’t.

The “it” others have is natural high self-esteem.  Now I am not saying that you personally have low self-esteem; I am saying that our media has made low self-esteem a rampant part of our culture. 

Rather than go on with my angst about low self-esteem I want to get to a solution.  I want to get away from developing low self-esteem in our children to allowing and encouraging them to live a life of fulfillment and confidence.

I have been teaching these fundamental principles of parenting with natural high self-esteem. I call these principles the 5 GEMs of parenting with natural high self-esteem. They are:

1.     Process vs. Product

2.     Respect vs. Assumed Authority

3.     Positive Intervention vs. Discipline

4.     Love of Right Now vs. Love of What Might Be

5.     Strong Morals and Values vs. Going with the Flow

All of these 5 GEMs are about communicating the value of your parenting in such a way that your children actually understand what natural high self-esteem is and how to keep it.

Parents who have joined the teleclasses and programs, listened to the podcasts, or have been private clients with GEM Parenting (that’s the company I have started) have had wonderful changes in their lives and their children’s lives.

Stress reduces for both you, the parent, and your child. Choices diminish.  Communication between you and your child improves.  Your child feels strong and confident.  Peer pressure has little power.  The media cannot induce your child to feel inadequate.  You and your child learn time management.  Manipulation comes to a halt. And “attitude” is stopped in its tracks.

Find out what natural high self-esteem is and how to infuse it into the lives of your children.

 
Grace E. Mauzy, M.A.
Founder of GEM Parenting
www.GEMParenting.com

Grace E. Mauzy, MA works with overwhelmed, stressed parents having difficulty comfortably cope with parenting. Parents learn positive intervention utilizing strategies and tactics to develop high self-esteem in children. Grace is the founder of GEM Parenting – an online community dedicated to parenting with passion, purpose, and integrity. (GEMParenting.com) Through Grace’s professional and personal life experiences, she has a unique ability to understand and empower parents to implement new parenting styles, allowing them to challenge themselves to break free of their destructive behaviors and attitudes.  And raise their children with confidence, peace, and harmony.  To learn more about her powerful speaking, coaching, and workshops, or to receive Grace’s motivating audio course “The 7 Deadly Mistakes Parents Make That Create Spoiled Brats – And How You Can Avoid Them!” visit http://www.7deadlymistakesparentsmake.com or visit http://www.GEMParenting.com.

Motivational Monday: What is Natural Self-Esteem? A Short Overview

June 4, 2008 at 1:53 am | Posted in 1, attitudes, children, Creative Crayon Club, Families, Family Time, Fun Activities, GEM Parenting Secrets, How To, moms, Mothers, Motivational Monday, parents, peer pressure, relationships, respect, responsibilities, Safety, Self Esteem, teenagers, teens, Thoughtful Thursday, toddlers, Tweens, Wednesday Wisdom, Welcome | 2 Comments
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Welcome to GEM Parenting.

We just finished Teenager Month.

But don’t worry, if you missed the month just go to http://www.GEMParenting.com to find everything you missed.

Thanks to those of you who answered the survey.  I learned some practical and useful things from you.  And will be implementing your ideas in the near future. “What is Positive Intervention and how to implement it?” and ” What is real time out and how does it work” are the two teleclasses you want the most. The least desired was “Outdoor fun and safety.”  This is too bad for me because I love this topic.  Instead we will have “Fool Proof Net Safety” 

I will be sending information with the subject line: Parents of Teens – So only open if you are one – about a teleclass especially for you.  (You have to be a Pearl Member to get the discount. To join this complimentary membership click on Pearl Membership on our website at http://www.GEMParenting.com).  

But what I learned more than anything was that very few people actually understand what GEM Parenting is REALLY about. 

Although we do give good sound advice about parenting, asking in experts for GEM Parenting Secrets, giving you referrals to books and programs we think are valuable, having teleclasses and podcasts, our real secret is that everything we do is to help you understand how to raise your children with natural high self esteem. 

Surprisingly to me, many people don’t understand what the real value of doing everything you can to ensure your child has natural high self-esteem. 

Everything from your child’s attitude, morals and values, health, ability to succeed, desire to achieve, even life span, are directly effected by self-esteem.

I will be discussing the issues connected with natural high self-esteem through this newsletter over the next few weeks in lieu of GEM Parenting Secrets Teleclasses.

Does your child have low self-esteem?  Do you know the difference between raising high self-esteem and boosting ego?  Do you have any idea how to energize your child’s self-esteem?  Do you know how to use positive intervention and eliminate negative discipline?  Do you know that raising your child with high self-esteem will ease your life as well?  Your stress and anxieties will vanish as your child’s self-esteem soars.  Your child will be able to participate and engage in life on a level that is void of self-doubt and insecurities-for life.

The first tip you need to know is that the process is the most important aspect of your child’s life.  It is not the product that s/he produces.  The product is irrelevant if the process is not your child’s. 

Think back to your own childhood.  Everything you did was not about the product.  When you were a kid you wanted to get muddy, make something, eat your ice cream just the way you wanted (and maybe that meant getting it all over your face and down your front.) 

You may have been allowed to grow up this way, but my guess is that your parents were more concerned about the product-how neat you were, how accomplished you were, what grades you got- rather than the process of getting to being neat, getting to being accomplished, being educated regardless of good grades.  And if you did not live up to the desired product level, you were made to feel bad in one way or another.

And this is why parenting for you is such a struggle.

You would not have come to GEM Parenting (or any other site) if you were not struggling with parenting.  And I believe the bottom line of raising children is to ensure you create, instill, and maintain high self-esteem in your children.

Does your parenting style ensure you are raising your child with high self-esteem?  Please share its time we had some lively responses.  With over three thousand visitors someone has got to have something to say!

Tickle me Tuesday

One thing people have asked me to do is write a bit about some personal incidences-both about me, and people I have worked with.  So, I will venture out here.  Check out last Saturday’s post for the first one.

We will also have a book we recommend.  Only need to go to GEM Parenting to find out what it is.

Wednesday Wisdom

This Wednesday you are going to get the first installation of the real heart and soul of GEM Parenting.  An article you can get some real value from.

Thoughtful Thursday

Another slice of what it is like to be mom with high self-esteem raising kids with high self-esteem.

Follow Up Friday

 This is when you get to ask your questions.  And I am put on the spot to come up with answers to help you.  Of course some people sort of cheat and send their questions in ahead of time- I honor the first to come in by answering it first.

And how, when, and where does this happen?

How– It’s simple-blog talk radio.

You can listen, call in your question, or type into the chat session.

When– Friday at 9:30

Wherehttp://www.blogtalkradio.com/gemparenting

And of course Saturday is

Creative Crayon Club

My favorite day of the week!  I will give you fun, simple, and inexpensive activities to do with your children.  You know, good old fashioned family fun.

Enjoy your week!

 

Lipgloss Is Still Eating At Me!

May 31, 2008 at 3:29 pm | Posted in children, Families, GEM Parenting Secrets, Mothers, respect, Self Esteem, sports, teenagers | Leave a comment
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Anxiety of buying lip-gloss, but not paying for sports

myspace glitter graphics
Glitter Graphics

When I buy things I have two reactions.  One is anxiety (and you will see the price does not matter.)  The other is that paying for something is just part of how it works.  

When I have anxiety it is because I am thinking about the product, not the process.  When I was at the store yesterday my daughter asked for some lip-gloss.  It was only $1.99, but I had that yuck feeling of buying something. 

Then in the evening the same daughter was talking to me about a training program she is invited to be in.  And let it suffice to say it costs a whole lot more than $1.99.  But I had absolutely no anxiety about that at all.

(OK, when I actually pay the bill I will wonder how I am going to come up with it.)

The difference is that in the first place I was being asked to buy a product and the product was for the purpose of external approval.

myspace glitter graphics
Glitter Graphics

The training program is part of a process.  The process is years of training, being in races, building and building, and all the while being passionate about the sport.

This process brings my daughter to have a strong ego, but more importantly she gains self-respect.  Not every race that she enters will go well.  Not every practice day will be fun and invigorating. 

But by looking at the process rather than simply looking at the end result or product, I feel great about paying for my daughters’ programs.

myspace glitter graphics
Glitter Graphics

But that lip-gloss is still eating at me!

  

 

Now Available! Live with Grace Podcast on Teens and Lying

May 29, 2008 at 7:51 am | Posted in 1, attitudes, children, dads, Families, Family Time, GEM Parenting Secrets, How To, lying, moms, Mothers, parents, peer pressure, relationships, respect, responsibilities, Self Esteem, teenagers, teens, Thoughtful Thursday, Tweens, Welcome | Leave a comment
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Did you miss it?

Live with Grace Teleclass now available on Podcast

 GEM Parenting Presents: Teens and lying – Is that my teen who is lying?

Featuring Grace E. Mauzy, M.A., and
Guest Expert, Jean Walbridge, L.C.S.W.,
from parentingadolescents
Educational ~ Motivating ~ Interactive

In this hour-long podcast, we discussed how to free both yourself and your teen from the need to lie. Your teen will respect you and him/herself enough to be honest and mature about actions. Rather than wondering and hoping your teen will not lie, learn how to give your teen the real freedom and maturity to be honest.

For only $6.00 learn how to get respect from your teen and watch their self-esteem soar. This is a must-have podcast!

Join GEM Parenting Teleseminar

By purchasing this teleclass/podcast, you will receive access to downloadable GEM Action Guide, Expert Article, and Grace’s Personal Article.

Thoughtful Thursday: Lying in Adolescense

May 29, 2008 at 7:34 am | Posted in attitudes, children, dads, Families, Family Time, GEM Parenting Secrets, How To, lying, moms, Mothers, parents, peer pressure, relationships, respect, responsibilities, Self Esteem, teenagers, teens, Thoughtful Thursday, Tweens, Welcome | 3 Comments
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On Lying in Adolescence

by Jean Walbridge, L.C.S.W.

Several questions submitted recently to this site are from parents concerned that their children have lied to them. For instance, a mother writes in to complain of her 13-year-old’s having invited a friend over after school instead of practicing his piano while the mother was at work. It isn’t even that he skipped piano practice that the mother minds so much, as that her son lied to her about it.

She says, “My son is transforming into a new creature.” And, by implication, she’s not so sure she likes the new creature he is becoming. He never used to lie–or so it seems. And he seldom disobeyed when he was younger. So what’s going on?

Adolescence is what’s going on. During adolescence, kids experience a developmental imperative: to become independent of the parents and to establish their own identities separate from the identities of their parents.

Beginning in the pre-adolescent years, kids will do anything to achieve these goals–including lying to their parents, if need be. I think the reason the mom we mentioned above was more hurt by the lie than by the disobedience was that on some level she realized that her son had chosen his relationship with his friend over his relationship to her. The lying cost him something in terms of his relationship with his mom. But giving up the opportunity to be with a peer would have, in his scheme of things, cost him far more, and in an area where he is far less certain of his standing.

Parents, in other words, get their feelings hurt by their children’s not telling them the truth because at bottom the parent realizes it is a sign that her child is pulling away from her, and there is some pain in letting go.

It hurts your feelings when your preteen lies to you, but unlike when she was younger, your teenager is not so powerfully motivated to avoid eliciting your anger or disappointment. In your teenager’s eyes, your feeling hurt or angry may be “a good sign” in that it proves to her, at least in the moment, that she is not being controlled by you, that you are not running her life… look, here you are hurt and angry. Doesn’t that prove that she decided to do this thing on her own? That she wasn’t allowing herself just to be your ‘toady’?

If it takes breaking an agreement with parents to do what the kid feels, in the moment, that she MUST do in order to move towards autonomy and identity, the kid chooses to break the agreement. He chooses himself and his peers over the relationship with the parents. This is what the parent’s deepest experience of hurt is about, and it comes from not realizing the power of the developmental challenge of adolescence: the child really MUST separate from the parent and MUST find his place among his peers.

Not that he knows how to do it! Not at all. There are many false starts and painful lunges toward proving himself autonomous and building an identity. Yet these attempts at growing up, however awkward and painful for all concerned, are necessary steps in learning to become an adult, in learning who he is. If he is truly to become autonomous, he has to risk hurting and offending you and actually needs, at least once in a while, to do something he’s sure you disapprove of.

It’s not that your preteen or teenager is becoming a moral cretin, or that you forgot to emphasize truth-telling during her childhood. It isn’t that the adolescent doesn’t know it’s wrong to break her agreements with parents, when she breaks a rule in order to prove her autonomy or to connect with peers, but she may not experience the same remorse as a younger child because the adolescent’s sense of imperative need weakens the sense of guilt. It is as if “she had to” do what she did, sometimes precisely because she knew you had a rule against it.

Because of the different function of lying during adolescence, I don’t think it works to assign consequences for the lying itself. The problem with giving consequences for lying per se is that it comes too close to demanding that the child hold the relationship with the parent and the parent’s values first in her heart, at a time when it is not normal to do so. Besides which, it focuses the child’s attention on what she said, rather than on what she did or didn’t do. This can really backfire, as when you find out that she had a party at the house when you were not home, which you have a rule against, and she tells you the truth about it. “Yes,” she says, “I did have the kids over while you were gone. I’m sorry. (Probably itself a lie.)” — then expects the consequences to be waived because she told you the truth!

I would even argue that sometimes an adolescent’s resorting to lying about her behavior (which very often involves a peer situation) is a “good sign”! — Because, if she is taking the trouble to lie, it must mean she still cares about your reaction and has not had to go so far as to simply defy all rules to your face. The lie is a signal that there is conflict: do I do what I want to here, and risk disappointing and angering my parents, or do I obey Mommy and Daddy? There is a pull towards dependence and obedience, but often an even stronger pull toward independence and acceptance by one’s peers. The occasional lie facilitates the establishment of a private space, an area of her life in which she is sure you don’t have control.

It is, simply, unreasonable to expect adolescents always to tell you the truth. Believe me, you don’t really want to know everything your adolescent is doing! And unless they get caught, you can’t implement consequences anyway. What we as parents need to realize is that in fact our children have control over this aspect of their lives, and we do not. They will tell you the truth or not, as they see fit. When you catch them in a lie, and it involves behavior that is important, that you have a rule about–you said they could not entertain in your home friends who use drugs, and you find clear evidence that the rule has been violated– attention needs to go to your kid’s having broken the rule, not to what he says or said about it.

Copyrighted © Parenting Adolescents; all rights reserved.  http://www.parentingadolescents.com/index.html

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