How to Build Character

June 1, 2009 at 9:47 am | Posted in 1 | 1 Comment
Tags: , , , , , ,

Motivational Monday

************************************************************

If you find this blog entry interesting and helpful please
pass it along to your friends.

Again thanks to those who emailed/blogged  me
with your concerns and issues.

It’s still important to email your concerns-
You are here at GEM Parenting because
need help with your parenting.
You want to understand and develop
your parenting, reduce your stress and
overwhelm, and let your kids grow up
with natural high self-esteem.

And you certainly don’t want the national hazard
of having a brat for a kid.

And for some reason that just isn’t so simple.

Send in your concerns and issues.
Get your guidance.
And help others who are suffering with your issue,
but not quite ready to share.

I will send you a personal response and
for those who are willing to share even more,
I will put our Q & A on the blog-

Of course with your personal stuff removed.

*********************************************************
It’s my favorite day of the week.
Motivational Monday.

I love this day because it is the day that I
Get to start new things.
rejuvinated from the hectic weekend.
and get back into  my “regular” rhythm.

This week I want to talk about character.
To start here is a quote.

“Watch your thoughts;
they become words.
Watch your words;
they become actions.
Watch your actions;
they become habits.
Watch your habits;
they become character.
Watch your character;
it becomes your destiny.”

~ Frank Outlaw ~

This process is a vital part of being a
parent who uses positive intervention
and strives to raise children with
high self-esteem.

It’s also a way of understanding
what law of attraction is about in simple terms.

I am a person who believes in
what goes around comes around

And this how you can see it’s growth and progress.

Your character and the character
You develop in your children
starts with your thoughts.

Now this is not to say you have complete
control of your children’s character.
That would be impossible.

You don’t even have complete control of your own.

But you do have the ability to have control
of your thoughts.

This week I want you to be very aware of your thoughts.
Find what is negative, detrimental, excessive,
hurting, etc.
and change it to it’s opposite.

This is not the week to stop the thoughts.
This is the week to start
to build your own character.
And with it the character of your children.

Now another super important thing-
Be gentle and fun with this.

When you do catch yourself smile, take a relaxing breath
then and only then when you are
OK with yourself can you really
replace that negative thought.

Have a terrific week.

And for me,
be a parent with passion, purpose, and integrity,

Grace

Advertisements

Positive Intervention for Mom of Lying Teen

May 27, 2009 at 10:39 am | Posted in 1 | Leave a comment
Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

When you go through parenting you have times when your child is somehow completely out of connection with you.

How can you be able to intervene, give positive guidance, and know what to do about your child’s dis-connection?

Read on to see what I say to Gloria

****************************************************
Question from Gloria:

First of all thank you so much for continually reaching out to us mother’s.
One of my biggest problem is I cannot trust my 13 yr old son.  He lies so many times and I don’t know when he is telling the truth.
Please give me some intervention.

**************************************************

Response:

Gloria,

When a child lies it really hits our core as a mother.
I will be glad to address this issue.

“The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness.”  ~Honoré de Balzac

When most people read this they think that this is what mothers do for their children.  And of course we do.  But I want to add here that you give this thing called forgiveness to yourself.

When you find that your son has lied, the first thing you do is forgive yourself.  Let it be clear to you that you have tried and are trying your best.   When you let yourself be free from the punishments I assume you are giving yourself then you can go the next few steps.

Have you forgiven yourself?  It’s not easy, but do that for real – out loud – before you go on to the next step.

You say, “I forgive me for the lying that my child has done”

Next you use all your power to forgive your child.  This is not to say accept, ignore, or wash away the lying.  When your son is lying to you over and over, he is reaching out to have something changed.  Yet you have no idea.  And he may not have any idea what needs changing.

When you find your son has lied say, “I forgive you for lying to me.”
Each and every time.  This intervention shows that you do care about your son.

Then say: “When you are ready you can tell me why you lied.”

Now is the hard part -TRUST-

You have to trust your love.  Give full strength and power to your love.  Trust your love…
then speak, look away, cry, maybe even yell.

But do nothing till you know you are forgiving and loving both yourself and your son.

I had a daughter who lied to me for a few years.  It took all my energy and strength to try and fight this lying.  But when I gave up the fight and forgave myself for what I could not control only then could I begin to forgive her.

The forgiveness I gave her, over and over, let loose the love that was hiding behind trying to force her to be honest with me.

She did not stop lying the first time.  It took a while.  But as I forgave both of us, and let my love to her flow, I stopped punishing her, I began to see why she was lying, and I was able to help her to pass this stage with a few growing scars, but nothing permanent.

What was she missing?  As she was changing from child to teen and I had more children she needed to know that I loved her as much as the others.

It turns out what she needed most was forgiveness and love.  With these came her renewed natural high self esteem.

Be a parent with passion, purpose, and integrity,
Forgive yourself, forgive your son, and trust your love,

Grace

**********************************************************************

Free Tele-workshop tonight at 7 pm EDT

Moms For a Balanced Life http://Tinyurl.com/UUmoms

Parenting Power of Positive Energy

May 4, 2009 at 6:57 am | Posted in Motivational Monday, parents, Self Esteem | 2 Comments
Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

Here it is Motivational Monday
all over again.

We have been talking about peace and honor
and now I want to switch just slightly.

You see I am doing a workshop for teens this Wednesday
and the topic is

The Power of Positive Energy

Your attitude and perspective deeply affect
how you present yourself to the world.
A famous quote by Emerson reads:

“Enthusiasm is one of the most
powerful engines of success.

When you do a thing,
do it with all your might.
Put your whole soul into it.
Stamp it with your own personality.
Be active, be energetic,
be enthusiastic and faithful, and
you will accomplish your objective.

Nothing great was ever achieved
without enthusiasm.”

Learn that what you get back in life
has a direct correlation with what you give.
Discover how to develop and
use positive energy in your daily approach to life.

So of course I want to share a bit about how
you, as a parent, can use YOUR
Power of Positive Energy
to ease and calm your parenting.

Each time you hear yourself tell your child what
you don’t want, I want you to add on
what you do want.

Example: “You’re late!  Don’t miss that bus again.”
Add: “I want you to be timely and get on the bus.”

You can even shorten it to
“Be timely.  Get on the bus.”

This is about the most simple way to start the change
of shifting your negative energy to positive energy.

And let me tell, you if you are in a funk of negativity
this “simple” exercise can really undermine your
train of thought.

You are forced to stop that negative motion.
Its just like a train that gets derailed.
All that negativity just crashes.

It has nowhere to go.

When you take this tiny little step
not only will you change your energy from
negative to positive, you
will give your children something to
live up to.  Thus raising their self esteem.

That’s your Motivation for Monday.
And you can actually use this skill
absolutely anywhere.

Since I am a parent coach I urge you to try
at home with your kids first.

Please share your success stories.
It really inspires others when they
see that something really does work.

Now get on with parenting with
Passion, Purpose, and Integrity

Grace

PS:  If you haven’t checked out the
podcasts at GEM Parenting why not do it now?

http://www.GEMParenting.com/storehtm

Serious Small Town Snow Day Blues Here

March 9, 2009 at 12:18 pm | Posted in 1 | Leave a comment
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Today is a snow day in NH. The public schools are out. When we lived in CT a snow day was as exciting for us as it was for the school kids because we always had a house full of kids those days. But now we live in a tiny village in NH. It has great advantages, but today the glaring disadvantage is really glaring us in the face.

There are only 39 kids here from 5 years old to fourteen years old. And the next town is a distance away.

Story of eight-year-old daughter today: This morning my daughter invited a friend to come over, but the father and the girl said that she wanted to go to work with her dad. So we called the next girl. That girl and her mother said they were going slow for the morning, but the girl would come over for lunch and the afternoon. I called about 12:30 to see when they would arrive.

No answer. I guessed they must have decided to go skiing. There was some mention that the mother might go skiing, and I thought maybe the girl decided to go with her mom.

I tried girl number three. And was told that they already had too many kids over and just couldn’t handle one more. THE OTHER TWO GIRLS were over there. I am crushed. My daughter thankfully has NO idea. And hopefully won’t.

Story of twelve-year-old daughter: The other two girls who are in this town are too entirely different from my daughter for her to even think of playing with. My daughter likes to play outside, be imaginative. The others hate the outside and are very “plugged in” kids. She tried to call kids from out of town, but they just couldn’t come.

Since my kids are home schooled they are accustomed to not having lots of kids all day long. But one of the dilemmas is that we used to be a haven for other kids. Now we are not.

It’s all part of the small town politics. We somehow got out of the “in” crowd and when that is the only group in your town it really shows up when you are out. Oh, the reasons are varied. It could be that we had lice years ago, even though we were not the first in town to have them. It could be we home school. It could be that my eight-year-old has had tantrums. It could be that we are not very “plugged in” or don’t eat junk food. It could be that these two children of mine just don’t really like each other.

Right now my girls are working at playing together. I am writing out my sadness for this turn of events, and then I will lift myself up from my bootstraps and take them out for a cross-country ski for an hour.

It’s tough to be the kind of parent I am – constantly using positive intervention, Law of Attraction, and being sure my kids have high self-esteem – and have my kids be left out of such things as play dates.

If you have ideas, suggestions, or similar situations PLEASE take a moment to share. Now I will atke my own advice and…

Live this day with
Passion, Purpose, and Integrity
Thanks, Grace

Positive Intervention Stops Tantrum

February 12, 2009 at 2:53 pm | Posted in 1 | Leave a comment
Tags: , , ,

This morning I headed off to the Chiropractor at 5:45 so I could be back home before getting the girls up. Of course my 16 year old was home in case of emergency.

We had breakfast, then out the door for the morning meeting of the two ski-training girls. After brought the 12 year old and the eight year old home. And I went to yoga- all this to try and heal my poor aching back-

And the last thin I said to the girls was, do your math and if you feel like killing each other eat something and go to different rooms.

Yoga-calming, difficult, strengthening and stretching. What I need for my body, and my soul.

And when I returned, the tantrum was happening. The eight year old was making a LOT of noise. The twelve year old was being coy and calm.

Of course I new exactly what had happened. The twelve year old had done something that made the eight-year feel overpowered. But beyond that there was the simple thing called hunger.

I call it the Hungry Horrors. And most kids get it. It that thing when your kids just have no reason, have no sense. And are completely horrible.

I had been telling my eight year old if she could not get a grip on her tantrums and eat when the feeling began she would have to go to Mommy jail.

Jail is for people who cannot be socially acceptable and do things that are harmful to the society they are in.

So to day was the day. I told her she was going to jail.
She stormed down the stairs, went into the half bathroom and slammed the door. Yelled about how much she hated her sister, me, and well a lot of other yelling that I didn’t really pay attention to.

I made a plate of appealing food (not special) and put on the sink counter and closed the door- Lots more noise. Then things got quieter. And after about thirty minutes she was in the bathroom, having found a string and playing and singing happily.

THEN we talked. We talked about you don’t feel hungry before a tantrum, but you are. We talked about feeling ashamed of shouting and being rude and unpleasant.

And all by herself she decided to ask her sister to come and visit her. I left and called the sister to come.

The apology was sweet and simple. “Sorry I had a tantrum. Guess I don’t really hate you.”
After one and half hours in the bathroom- remember she was playing and singing at this point, I changed the jail to her bedroom.

She has been there for two and half more hours- that’s a total of four and half hours.

Will she ever have a tantrum again? Of course. Will she be better able to deal with it? I expect so. Does she feel guilty fro her tantrum? Not a chance. She forgave herself, her sister, and everyone accepted her apology.

This is serious positive intervention after the event. She was not punished; her behaviors where diverted, strictly stopped and allowed to open in a new and positive direction.

Is There Really a Way to Stop an Eight Year Old from Tantrumming?

February 12, 2009 at 2:51 pm | Posted in 1 | Leave a comment
Tags: , , ,

This morning I headed off to the Chiropractor at 5:45 so I could be back home before getting the girls up. Of course my 16 year old was home in case of emergency.

We had breakfast, then out the door for the morning meeting of the two ski-training girls. After brought the 12 year old and the eight year old home. And I went to yoga- all this to try and heal my poor aching back-

And the last thin I said to the girls was, do your math and if you feel like killing each other eat something and go to different rooms.

Yoga-calming, difficult, strengthening and stretching. What I need for my body, and my soul.

And when I returned, the tantrum was happening. The eight year old was making a LOT of noise. The twelve year old was being coy and calm.

Of course I new exactly what had happened. The twelve year old had done something that made the eight-year feel overpowered. But beyond that there was the simple thing called hunger.

I call it the Hungry Horrors. And most kids get it. It that thing when your kids just have no reason, have no sense. And are completely horrible.

I had been telling my eight year old if she could not get a grip on her tantrums and eat when the feeling began she would have to go to Mommy jail.

Jail is for people who cannot be socially acceptable and do things that are harmful to the society they are in.

So to day was the day. I told her she was going to jail.
She stormed down the stairs, went into the half bathroom and slammed the door. Yelled about how much she hated her sister, me, and well a lot of other yelling that I didn’t really pay attention to.

I made a plate of appealing food (not special) and put on the sink counter and closed the door- Lots more noise. Then things got quieter. And after about thirty minutes she was in the bathroom, having found a string and playing and singing happily.

THEN we talked. We talked about you don’t feel hungry before a tantrum, but you are. We talked about feeling ashamed of shouting and being rude and unpleasant.

And all by herself she decided to ask her sister to come and visit her. I left and called the sister to come.

The apology was sweet and simple. “Sorry I had a tantrum. Guess I don’t really hate you.”
After one and half hours in the bathroom- remember she was playing and singing at this point, I changed the jail to her bedroom.

She has been there for two and half more hours- that’s a total of four and half hours.

Will she ever have a tantrum again? Of course. Will she be better able to deal with it? I expect so. Does she feel guilty fro her tantrum? Not a chance. She forgave herself, her sister, and everyone accepted her apology.

This is serious positive intervention after the event. She was not punished; her behaviors where diverted, strictly stopped and allowed to open in a new and positive direction.

Thoughtful Thursday: Positive Intervention

June 5, 2008 at 11:00 pm | Posted in attitudes, children, Creative Crayon Club, dads, Families, Family Time, Focused Fridays, Fun Activities, GEM Parenting Secrets, moms, Mothers, Motivational Monday, parents, peer pressure, relationships, respect, responsibilities, Self Esteem, siblings, teenagers, Thoughtful Thursday, Tweens | 1 Comment
Tags: , , , , , ,

I used Positive Intervention to stop over exuberance at a birthday party

Last weekend I had my youngest child’s birthday party.  We had twelve children including my two youngest. 

At one point we were playing Castle- the kids had played musical dress ups, and from there we evolved into castle with my daughter being the queen.  There were two knights having a jousting competition.  One child to began to take the jousting just a bit too far.  Rather than stand back watch and hope things would end up OK.  Or stop everything and single out the over jouster by telling him in front of everyone to calm down, I intervened.  I announced a short break for the jousters to everyone.  I took the overly exuberant knight by the hand away from everyone else.  I had him sit upstairs with me for five minutes to calm down.  When we came back down, I resumed the activity with simply saying we were done taking the five-minute break.

This is a perfect example of positive intervention.  No one was disciplined; no one was punished or made to feel bad in any way.  I simply intervened.  When you use positive intervention as one of your main principles of parenting you have only one course to go.  That is to create, instill, and maintain high self-esteem in your children.

What have you done lately that was positive intervention?  Why not share with others, and if you do I will personally respond back.

  

Terrific Tuesday: Prom Problems and Teenage Social Gatherings

May 19, 2008 at 11:10 pm | Posted in attitudes, children, dads, Families, Family Time, Fun Activities, GEM Parenting Secrets, Health, How To, marriage, moms, Mothers, parents, peer pressure, relationships, Safety, Self Esteem, teenagers, teens, Tweens, Welcome | Leave a comment
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

GEM Parenting Presents: Prom Problems and Issues of Teen Gatherings

Set Your Calendar
Live with Grace Teleclass

Wed., May 21, 2008
8:30 p.m. E.S.T.
Length: one hour

Featuring Grace E. Mauzy, M.A., and a special Guest Expert
Educational ~ Motivating ~ Interactive

We will be discussing: How the six main dilemmas facing parents of teens are also the demons that demoralize teens and preteen – enticing them make inappropriate and negative life altering changes in social gatherings.

For only $6.00 you learn how to use positive intervention to help your teen develop and mature away from self-demoralizing and self-demeaning behaviors, and toward behaviors that will instill a wonderful sense of well being that is independent of all the demands on teens these days.

Join GEM Parenting Teleseminar

By registering for this teleclass, you will reserve your space on the call, receive special call-in information, and access to downloadable GEM Action Guide, Expert Article, and Grace’s Personal Article.

 

 

 

Blog at WordPress.com.
Entries and comments feeds.