Results will Change Your Self-Esteem and Parenting

November 5, 2008 at 8:26 am | Posted in children, dads, Families, moms, Mothers, parents, Self Esteem | 2 Comments
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This is Wonderful Wednesday, and for the Obama followers and me it is.  As you know I have kept quiet about my personal opinion about the election.  But now it is over and I am thrilled.


One thing I am excited about is change.  As a nation we are slow to try new things, new ideas.  But we were fed up with the old and ready to try on the new.


Another thing I am thrilled about is that our president elect has the ability to communicate enthusiasm.  We need to step out as a nation from our apathetic approach to light ourselves on fire again.  Our forefathers set up our constitution and our nation to be one of action, pride, and self-respect.


You see in blogging, coaching, even old stand-by’s like newspapers, people are ready and invigorated to change from the laissez faire attitude that has become so pervasive over the past ten years.


We are ready to step out and dance.  Try on new shoes and think new thoughts.


We are an amazing nation and it is time to restock ourselves.


And what does this have to do with parenting?  Everything.  By having new energy as a nation we can revamp how we do things not only as a nation, but as individuals.  We can find new paths, travel new journeys.  We can feel good about ourselves again.


When the nation gets in a slump so do the individuals.  Parents struggle to stay afloat both emotionally and financially, but with the new energy you can sop it up.  Use it for yourself.  Redefine how you parent, what your morals and values are.  You can change, add or delete goals.


This is your time as a nation and your time as an individual to rebuild. I have been saying for ten years that the self-esteem of our nation has been collapsing.  This means you as individuals have been suffering.  With this new change, new energy, we as a nation have stated loud and clear we are ready to pull ourselves up from the bootstraps. 


You can and will have a better ability to live and parent.  It might come from changes in government, but more than likely it will come from the change in energy that spread over us last night. 


I celebrate our national changes and I celebrate each and every single individual change that occurred to make the national change.  Now take that energy and live with it everyday.  Use this energy to change yourself, your parenting, and touch the world.


And of course

Parent with Passion, Purpose, and Integrity


PS: As always any comments are welcome.  Just hit the word comment on the top where the other tags are.


Motivational Monday: Why Vote

November 3, 2008 at 10:43 am | Posted in dads, Families, moms, Mothers, parents, Self Esteem | Leave a comment
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Good Motivational Monday Morning


Just a quickie today.

You are probably reeling from last week’s entries.


I do want to thank those of you who shared GEM Parenting with your friends.

It was great to see the response.


Today, I want to be on the bandwagon to motivate you to vote.  It is such an important thing for you to do, as a parent especially.  You are voting for right now, but you are also voting for tomorrow, for your kids’ future.  So on that note, take your time and effort and do it.


Another reason it is important to vote is to make yourself commit to something.  These days we have so many choices and so anxiety producing to make a choice we often just go along with the flow, even if it makes us stressed and sick to do so.


Let your children know about your voting, take them with you and let them know what a privilege it is to be part of the nation that began this amazing opportunity.


That’s it for today. 

And as always,

Parent with Passion, Purpose, and Integrity.



Swing Your Arms And Get Happy

October 29, 2008 at 7:12 am | Posted in children, dads, Families, moms, Mothers, parents, Self Esteem | 4 Comments
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If you are one of the 100 or so people to stop by today, please leave your comment as to why you came and what you want.


Feature Article

Swing Your Arms and Get Happy


As a parent we get so stuck in our routine, our anxiety, our super frustration, it is imperative to bust out of it.  Sometimes you need some new thinking, sometimes you need some new ways of raising your children.  Sometimes you need to be different.


Today I am going to have you be different, but just barely.  This won’t really wake up your foot.  (See Yesterday’s entry)  But it will have an effect on you.


You have heard plenty of times to breath slowly and deeply, have a yoga breath.  You have heard about meditating.  You have heard about walking.  And you can do all of these to help your moods and tension.


Today, I am adding swing your arms.   You can stand still.  You can walk.  You can jump.  You can run.  Guess what?  You can even sit.


When you swing your arms you will activate some endorphins.  These are the happy hormones.  And happy hormones push tension, anxiety, and frustration out the door.


How should you swing your arms?  Well, you can swing them from hanging down, across at shoulder level, and you can do circles.  The important thing is to do large sweeping motions.  Not too fast, not short and jerky. 


The most important thing is to really get into it.  Obviously, don’t swing so hard you hurt yourself.  But have energy and spunk in it.


And go ahead and get silly.  You can play games with your kids (or just play them in your head).  You can swim the ocean of life.  Whack all the jungle out of the way.  Fly like your favorite bird. Make whirl winds of energy (The energy can either be your frustrations or tensions escaping, or excited free energy.)


There are times when the deep breath and meditation are perfect.  But there are times when we must move.  As a parent you need to do things to be the best you can be and releasing tension is one great thing you can do.


When you have endorphins floating around rather than negative hormones you brain can actually think more clearly.  You body uses less energy.  You won’t feel as tired.  And strangely, when you are less stressed your body can let go of the extra weight it is saving for that perpetual emergency you are creating with your tension.


So today swing your arms.  Do it as much as you can.  And put in a silly twist -if you can.


You will be such a better parent and person with this small little life change.



I want to thank those of you who have taken the effort to refer GEM Parenting to your friends.  And remember if you get 5 friends to sign up for the Pearl Membership I will have a teleclass for you, at no cast.


But I am wondering if anyone has even tried to get a podcast, because not one has been purchased.  Are they just totally not interesting to you?  Is six dollars truly too expensive?  If I am going to be able to continue with GEM Parenting I need your support.  I want to give.  Let tell you, I really do.  But living in our culture costs money.  And I simply have to make some.


If what I have to offer isn’t appealing for money I will have ot go do something else,  This means of cours my time will spent at that, not helping you.


So if you are at all interested in having support from GEM Parenting I need your support now.  Please go and purchase a podcast.



On the opposite side,  if you have the intention to change your parenting, and want to talk, dump your frustration, be anonymous, join Donna L. Johnson and me.  We are going to have a teleconference this Monday at 12 noon EST, 11CST, 10 MCT and 9 PST.  We will talk about your issues, your dilemmas, your problems as a parent, a mom, a woman.


This is an open discussion for you.  We will be there to support and guide you.  We will help you bring your spirit and soul into action.  We want to get your sprit and soul out of the box you have been storing them in.  It is a simple phone call for you.


It is back to my favorite way of doing things.  Helping you, guiding you and at no cost.

Phone details coming. 



Sleeping Foot Disorder of Parenting

October 28, 2008 at 6:21 am | Posted in children, dads, Families, moms, Mothers, parents, Self Esteem | Leave a comment
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This is a simple problem that you have. 

  • You know what it is like to have a foot asleep. 
  • First you realize it is a sleep.
  • Second you try very hard to barely move it.  Maybe you can avoid the pain.
  • Third you moved it just too much and you have shooting pins and needles, you feel like the pain is more than you can stand.
  • But move it you must.  Your subconscious brain forces this to happen or the poor blood flow can cause permanent damage. 
  • Then in a moment that seems like forever of pain, you are fine. 
  • Your foot works just the way it should. 
  • All the anxiety and pain are gone.


This is the pattern that parents get into.  Only your subconscious brain isn’t quite so powerful.

You are a parent who is sleeping through your privileges and responsibilities as a parent.  You are just on the surface finding joy and wonder in parenting.

You are so scared to move.

When you do you are certain there will be shooting pains.

And you are right; growing pains are real, yet to grow you must move.

But with parenting you don’t have your subconscious brain forcing you to move.

And the tragedy here is you can raise your children while stuck in sleep.

The flow of energy can be severely diminished and your children will become adults.

But there will be long lasting, if not permanent, damage if you don’t shake yourself.

Yes, you have to actually get off your duff and move. 


You may have excruciating pain as you first move. 

The pain is the beginning of change, 

The change that opens the flow of energy.


But this new energy, just like with your foot, will be momentary.  It will dissipate.  It will diminish.  And you will be able to parent with real passion, purpose, and integrity.

You and your family will have the privilege to grow to have high self-esteem.  You will be more than simply satisfied with life.  You will cherish and flourish.  Your family will be that amazing family that everyone wonders how they can be so together.


I am sure you have heard of the Chinese noblewomen who had their feet bound in the past.  When they would have to have the bindings periodically replaced to put new ones on they cried in pain and begged to have the bindings replaced.  The flow of energy was too much for them to stand.  Yet, the binding made them incapable of standing.


Right now you are a bound parent.  You are living with your foot asleep.  And you not only ruin yourself by doing this, you take away from your children the most amazing gift there is.  You.


Wake up today.  Know there will be a pain.  Know that you and you family are worth getting past this pain.  If you don’t the best you can hope for is mediocrity in life, for you and your children.


This week I am challenging you to wake up.  Do two things.  One is to tell your friends about  You can easily do this by going to and clicking on the yellow box where it says “refer our site to a friend”

(If you have five friends sign up for the Pearl Membership I will host a teleclass just for you and your friends at no coat.)

The other is to get into action. Purchase a podcast while you are at GEMparenting. I mean really, they are just six dollars.  If you won’t do that then, you really just want to stay asleep. 

You must do something to get moving.  Your subconscious can’t do it.  You must do it with your will and your power.  Its called willpower.

Good Luck and parent with Passion, Purpose, and Integrity 


Wake up and love this day

October 27, 2008 at 10:04 am | Posted in children, dads, Families, moms, Mothers, parents, Self Esteem | 2 Comments
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Wow.  It’s motivational Monday again. I always love this day:  starting off and writing to you about how you can motivate yourself to be the best parent possible.  How you can truly parent with passion, purpose, and integrity.


I am motivating you to find the sleeping spot in your life. Give it a twitch. Wake up and love this day.


This week I am going to start off with two requests.  If you read last weeks Motivational Monday message you know I urged you to take the plunge.  Start changing your parenting.  And I suggested one way was to work with me.


Well, I had not one plunge taker.  Which would be fine, except last week my last client graduated.  This puts me in an awkward position.  I need to have GEM Parenting grow.  Even though I would dearly love to simply give everything I have to you for free, our culture doesn’t work that way.  I have bills to pay in relation to GEM Parenting.


So I am asking you to do two things for me, very low budget.


First I want each of you to tell one friend about GEM Parenting and the Pearl memebership.

As a matter of fact if you go overboard and have five friends sign up for the Pearl membership between Oct. 27 and Nov. 2  I will have a teleclass for you and your friends at no cost, complete with action guide and article.


Just send them the link to and urge them to sign up in the yellow box.

Then send me a list of whom you sent emails to.

And if you are new you can count yourself in too.


The second request I have will cost $6.00.  I want each of you to go the GEM Parenting store and actually purchase one podcast.  With most podcasts you get an action guide and an article written in conjunction with podcast topic.  There are currently 24 podcasts, so I am sure there is one that can boost your parenting.  And they cost as much as a Starbucks visit. 

 Just to go


If you can’t afford this, either you are truly poor or you don’t really want to try and change your parenting.  


If you want to change but $6 is honestly beyond your budget then shoot me an email and I will work something out for you.


With these two steps you will be helping both yourself and GEM Parenting.  As you know I am not a sales person.  I don’t ask for much from you. You can step up to the plate now and make this change for both of us.


And tomorrow I will be writing about The Sleeping Foot Disorder of Parenting.


Now, right now, send an email to at least one friend inviting them to GEM Parenting

and if you haven’t joined yet go ahead and join.

And then go directly to the GEM store and get your podcast.


Thanks and know the change you make is for both you and GEM Parenting.


As always Parent with Passion, Purpose, and Integrity,



PS If you have comments about this letter I would love you to share them.



Are You Ready For the Parenting Plunge?

October 20, 2008 at 7:12 am | Posted in children, dads, Families, moms, Mothers, parents, Self Esteem | 2 Comments
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Happy Motivational Monday Grace,

Good Morning,
It is Motivational Monday.

Again already.
Have you taken any time last week to try loving your children?
Did you go into your bathroom even once to regroup?

Well, if you didn’t that’s OK, sort of.
Because here we are again at motivational Monday to start once more.

This week I have an idea. I have a graduation tomorrow. 
One of my clients is graduating.
She emailed me last spring. 
She was really struggling with self-acceptance.
It was affecting her parenting, her interactions with others,
Her self-esteem.
Basically her whole life.

She knew it was time for her to live her own life.
One without fear, stress, anxieties. 
She took the plunge.

She was desperate that her children did not grow up with
a mom who was just not her own best,
a mom who was suffering,
a mom who was unable to do the best for her children,
a mom who had low self-esteem.

She took the plunge.
She decided to change.
She emailed me for an appointment

And six months later she is graduating.
She has a new comfort zone,
She has a new way of self-acceptance.
She has her self-esteem.

For your motivation today I 
CHALLENGE you to take the plunge.

Do something this week
That will change who you are,
How you parent,
How you live for the rest of your life.

Are you ready? It just takes one email to get you started on 
Your journey.

Your journey to inner peace, 
Family pride,
And life changing self-esteem. 

Simply hit reply 
And take the plunge.

No matter what else you do today
parent with passion, purpose, and integrity.


Use Your Bathroom for a Parental Refuge

October 15, 2008 at 1:06 pm | Posted in children, dads, Families, moms, Mothers, parents, Self Esteem | Leave a comment
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Today I had to take a bit of my own medicine.  My kids were driving me crazy.  They were egging each other on, figuring just the exact thing that made the other one whine, shout, or just simply annoy each other.

I was preoccupied with LOTS going on.  You know, work related stuff, dishes, laundry, people coming for the weekend, bills-Oh my least favorite especially now-their school work.  And I am sure more than that.

I jumped right in with the kids for a while.  Then I pulled myself out.  Went to  my refuge-the bathroom- and locked the door.  And while there I got the answer.  I – yes it was me – who was at the bottom of this whole mess.  I was too preoccupied and they were lost.  

I came out ready to engage them.   They had spent the time getting more and more into each other’s hair.  with lots of NOISE.

I knew that sweet lovey dovey stuff was not going to work.  I simply ignored their stuff and spent totally fixed time going over what they needed to get done in the next fifteen minutes.  Their response was noisy at best, rude at worst.

I responded with “I know you don’t want to do it and that’s OK.”  I repeated this for a full five minutes till both were involved with their own things.  After that the day has been very smooth.

Take you time and get in control of yourself.  If you need to get away go to your personal refuge- we all have bathrooms.  Use your wisely.

You Scream, They Scream, We all Scream for Not Ice Cream

October 14, 2008 at 12:37 pm | Posted in children, dads, Families, moms, Mothers, parents, Self Esteem, Terrific Tuesday | Leave a comment
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Hi its Terrific Tuesday.  Get a handle on how to get a bit of love back into your parenting.

Your problem is you know that you are supposed to love your children.  And now you have Grace pointing out that you may in your heart love them, but you know you are not loving them in action.  You are hating them, or mothering, or just plain life.  

Today take a five minute break from your hating.  Get a picture you love of your children.   One that only brings pleasure, peace, joy, and happiness to you.  It must be a strong feeling.  Just look at the picture for five minutes.  Feel the love.  Let it envelope you.  Try it on as a scarf around your neck, a shawl draping over your shoulders.  Let the love be yours for these five minutes.

When the time is up, go back to what you were doing.  And when you are hearing your children scream, when you are shouting back, block out what you are actually seeing.  Have a little hallucination of the picture you were looking at.  This will give you just a speck of time to regroup and try to talk with a bit of love in your feelings.

When you talk with love this does not mean giving in.  You can be very firm with love.  You can be understanding.  Yet you are the parent and can love your children to good behavior.  

When they are demanding, bratty, spoiled, unruly give them limits.  Speak over and over this phrase, “I understand that you don’t want to and that’s OK.”  Say it, say it, say it.  You can’t say it too much.  

Now go get your picture, lock yourself in the bathroom with it and feel the love for five minutes.  And for the rest of the day remember to say, “I understand that you don’t want to and that’s OK.”

Do You Really Parent with Love? Bet not!

October 13, 2008 at 6:39 am | Posted in children, dads, Families, moms, Mothers, parents, Self Esteem | Leave a comment
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Its Motivational Monday.

And I want to share wth you the fundamental aspect of parenting.  You guessed it.  it is love.  Not too surprising, except when you think about how many times you mix up hate into it.  For instance, when you find your kids annoying, irritating, overwhelming.  When your let them know what a brat they are being. When you know that they are driving you crazy.  

You are letting hate in and using it as your parenting guide when you are so stressed out by what to do that you can’t sleep at night.  Or maybe you scream at your kids.  You may even ridicule your kids.  Or you may hit, slap, or spank them.

And worse than all these you may ignore your kids.  

This day and everyday this week remember that you do love your kids. Keep a little running count of each time you feel love towards your kids.  This can be a simple tally on the fridge.  

By taking the time to truly notice and make a mark of loving your children, you will bring your focus back to the true essential nature of parenting.

Be sure to parent with passion, purpose, and integrity

Peace and Harmony After you get Home from Vacation?

July 31, 2008 at 6:26 am | Posted in children, dads, Families, moms, Mothers, parents, Self Esteem | Leave a comment
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Personal Message


I have really been taking advantage of the summer these past two weeks.  Last week I went camping with my two youngest children and one of their friends.  We had such a great time.  I had no computer or phone reception.  I had really intended on getting in the car and going to check my messages, write the newsletter, and just do a few keep in touch things.  But I got completely caught up in the camping!  It was such a wonderful way for me to let my soul rejuvenate.  Each morning I would get up and do my yoga and meditation outside.  Breakfast, lunch, and dinner cooked over the fire.  Bike riding, canoeing, blueberry picking, and pretending we were living in some other century were our activities.  The week was full of peace and harmony. 


This week I have visited with an old friend I haven’t seen for eight (yes 8) years.  And gotten my teenager ready to head off to Chile for the month of August.  She leaves today.  And if you know anything about a teenage girl- even the best of them have WAY too much stuff.  We had to redo the packing- got everything, 4 pairs of skis, poles, boots, and winter clothes all in two ski bags. 


I am in a mix of excitement for her to go, sadness she will be gone so long, and actually relieved I am not going this year.  As a family we have all gone for the past five years.


My feature article is how to have peace and harmony even when you get home from vacation, or especially if you are unable to go on one.




Feature article


Maintain Peace and Harmony After You Get Home From Vacation?


So often when you go away for vacation you are sure that it will refresh and rejuvenate you.  You know that this time you will come home and have peace within your family.  You will know you will keep the harmony going.  But as soon as you get back- whammo!- The squabbles repeat themselves.  The pace simply doesn’t change no matter how much you promise yourself you will slow down.  You get exhausted just in a day or two and wonder if it was even true that you went on a vacation.  You wonder if anyone really can live in peace and harmony, not be overwhelmed with the daily minutia, and be stress free.


Generally when you get home from vacation you believe you need to jump back into your old patterns.  And this may be partially true.  But you can make adjustments and changes.  The main reason that you can relax when on vacation is because you can actually be yourself.  In the back of your mind – sometimes right out in the open- you know you will not see any of these people again so you know you don’t need to make yourself behave in a way that is against your natural self.  This is freeing.  It is liberating and it allows you to have a great time when on vacation.  You worry less.  You are not overwhelmed.  And you know the tired you feel at the end of the day is a healthy and natural tired, not one from stress and anxiety.


The real problem is; what do you do to keep being yourself even when you have all these pressures and commitments when you get back?  You just can’t let go of all your responsibilities. 


And you are absolutely right.  But you can change one major part of yourself.  That is being yourself, even when pressured, full of time commitments, and everything is piling up again.  Each time you feel the twinge of losing that peaceful vacation feeling check out how you are stepping away from being yourself.  Are you following someone else’s way of being?  Are caught up in the social pressures to conform?  Are you too busy to allow yourself to take a moment to rejuvenate? 


You may not even be able to answer these when you get back into the rushed, hectic, and stress inducing lifestyle you generally live in.  But these are the main things that stop the rejuvenated and peaceful feelings you had over vacation from being a part of your daily life when you get back.


To keep yourself rejuvenated, to stay true to your soul, to have peace and harmony for you and your family when you get back from vacation, ask yourself, “Does it really matter what those around me think of how I do things?”  Know in your heart that the way you run your house, raise your kids, and what you eat is for the best for your family. 


Make the changes in your daily life to be able to live with harmony with yourself.  For the next week pick one thing each day that you do because of outside pressure and change what you do, how you think about it, and why you do it, to follow your heart. 


As a parent it is essential to maintain your self-esteem, your inner peace, and live in harmony with your soul.  When you do this, you will be able to parent with purpose, passion, and integrity.




One of the greatest difficulties I have with GEM Parenting is letting parents know help is simple, available, and (yes) inexpensive. 


Here is your chance to help your friends find GEM Parenting.  For the month of August each time you have five friends sign up for the Pearl Membership you will be able to choose any of the GEM Parenting podcasts as my way of thanking you for sending your friends to GEM Parenting.


And if you are the person who has the most friends sign up for the Pearl membership, you get to have a one 1 ½ hour teleclass designed just for you and your friends. 

All you need to do is click this link and fill in your friends’ names.  Then you can follow up with them to be sure they actually sign up.  But even if you don’t I will keep track of who has referred who and who has signed up.


Good luck and thanks for spreading the joys of GEM Parenting with others.


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