Do You Really Parent with Love? Bet not!

October 13, 2008 at 6:39 am | Posted in children, dads, Families, moms, Mothers, parents, Self Esteem | Leave a comment
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Its Motivational Monday.

And I want to share wth you the fundamental aspect of parenting.  You guessed it.  it is love.  Not too surprising, except when you think about how many times you mix up hate into it.  For instance, when you find your kids annoying, irritating, overwhelming.  When your let them know what a brat they are being. When you know that they are driving you crazy.  

You are letting hate in and using it as your parenting guide when you are so stressed out by what to do that you can’t sleep at night.  Or maybe you scream at your kids.  You may even ridicule your kids.  Or you may hit, slap, or spank them.

And worse than all these you may ignore your kids.  

This day and everyday this week remember that you do love your kids. Keep a little running count of each time you feel love towards your kids.  This can be a simple tally on the fridge.  

By taking the time to truly notice and make a mark of loving your children, you will bring your focus back to the true essential nature of parenting.

Be sure to parent with passion, purpose, and integrity

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Can You Accept Being a Great Parent Without Control?

July 9, 2008 at 7:13 am | Posted in attitudes, children, dads, Families, GEM Parenting Secrets, moms, Mothers, parents, Wednesday Wisdom | Leave a comment
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As a parent you need to understand that you are in control of your child and at the exact same time you are as far removed from your child as an elephant in Africa. 

You have an obligation as a parent to set up the most caring home you can:  A home filled with love, positive guidance, and morals and values that you believe in.  But as you know, this is a task that causes great anxiety.  You are so stretched to your limits of parenting that some times you lose sight of how to create this home. And you trudge along hoping everything will be good in the end.

The saddest part of this picture is that often things turn out fine in the end.  But the journey has been so difficult and so arduous that it hardly seems to matte any way.

What you want is to find a way to know the end of the journey is going to be good and at the same time to enjoy and relish your time as a parent.

Yesterday we talked about being granted serenity.  If you have not reached any moments of serenity then you need to think of how you are trying to get it.  If there is any begging, neediness, or whining for it, you are can try being more gentle with yourself and with your eternal energy.

Today we are going to talk about “accepting the things I cannot change.”  Every moment that we are alive we are out of control.  We cannot truly control anything or anyone. 

When you look at life this way you can let go of the things that bug you, drive you crazy, and keep you up at night.  Know that you can not actually change things.  Know that change happens, and reactions happen to what you do. 

How does this kind of thinking change your parenting?  As a parent you may have been trying to set everything up to be just perfect, or even as nearly perfect, as you are humanly capable of doing for your family.  This of course is well and good. 

The problem comes because of all the glitches.  And these glitches, large and miniscule, gnaw at your insides, put overwhelm in everything you do- from breathing to actually reading a story to your children.

When you “accept the things I cannot change” you no longer have to be in control.  You now have the privilege to see yourself as one who influences, who guides, and can set things in motion.  But the weight of perfection is gone.

You are a wonderful parent filled with love and caring.  Remember you have serenity.  Now with accepting that which you cannot change, you have freedom to truly love and cherish your children. 

Loving and cherishing your children is the number one best thing you can do to set the motion for your children live the most fantastic life they can.  And it starts today!

Accept the things you cannot change.  Put serenity into its proper place in your parenting.  And see how the nagging, headache causing stresses that surround you and your children begin to evaporate.

You are welcome to share your acceptance of the things you cannot change and how that freed you to love and cherish your children. 

If you have a major acceptance please share, and if you have something that is so trivial and insignificant please share that as well. 

Everyone needs to hear how you are able to use this information.

As always, Parent with Passion, Purpose, and Integrity.

Grace

 

Can you actually bring serenity to your parenting?

July 8, 2008 at 9:39 am | Posted in 1, children, dads, Families, moms, Mothers, parents, Self Esteem | Leave a comment
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Lets look at the first line of the Serenity Prayer and how it relates to your parenting.  

God grant me the serenity

 First, what you need to focus on is asking for serenity.  At this point in time you are so overwhelmed and anxious about your parenting and how your kids are going to turn out that you really feel that you couldn’t possibly have any serenity.  I know I have had times in my own life where I thought this was some prayer just for alcoholics. 

 But let me assure you.  When you take this part of the prayer and give yourself serenity, even for a moment at a time, your anxieties will diminish.  When you give yourself serenity you cannot have anxiety at the same time.  They simply do not go together. 

 I believe that you give yourself serenity as soon as you ask for it with knowledge, conviction, and deep soul belief that you will receive serenity.  This is something that you give yourself.  As soon as you own and accept that you are truly able to have serenity you will have serenity. 

 Serenity does not mean your problems will vanish.  It does not mean your children will miraculously be perfect.  It means your anxieties will vanish.  It means you will relieve your overwhelm.

 When you get rid of anxiety and overwhelm you can be part of your children’s life.  You can enjoy what you are doing right now.  The crazy world will be on the outside, but you and your family will be held together with a new deep love that overpowers the need to prove yourself to anyone.

 You will be free to explore the world with peace and love as your guide.

 For this day I want you to stay true to asking for and being granted serenity.

 Each and every time you have anxiety or overwhelm, say with all you heart, “God grant me the serenity.”

 Please share with others how this small, short, quick phrase helps your anxieties and overwhelm vanish.

 For this day and everyday forward I wish you parenting with serenity.

Grace

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