Parenting Power of Positive Energy

May 4, 2009 at 6:57 am | Posted in Motivational Monday, parents, Self Esteem | 2 Comments
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Here it is Motivational Monday
all over again.

We have been talking about peace and honor
and now I want to switch just slightly.

You see I am doing a workshop for teens this Wednesday
and the topic is

The Power of Positive Energy

Your attitude and perspective deeply affect
how you present yourself to the world.
A famous quote by Emerson reads:

“Enthusiasm is one of the most
powerful engines of success.

When you do a thing,
do it with all your might.
Put your whole soul into it.
Stamp it with your own personality.
Be active, be energetic,
be enthusiastic and faithful, and
you will accomplish your objective.

Nothing great was ever achieved
without enthusiasm.”

Learn that what you get back in life
has a direct correlation with what you give.
Discover how to develop and
use positive energy in your daily approach to life.

So of course I want to share a bit about how
you, as a parent, can use YOUR
Power of Positive Energy
to ease and calm your parenting.

Each time you hear yourself tell your child what
you don’t want, I want you to add on
what you do want.

Example: “You’re late!  Don’t miss that bus again.”
Add: “I want you to be timely and get on the bus.”

You can even shorten it to
“Be timely.  Get on the bus.”

This is about the most simple way to start the change
of shifting your negative energy to positive energy.

And let me tell, you if you are in a funk of negativity
this “simple” exercise can really undermine your
train of thought.

You are forced to stop that negative motion.
Its just like a train that gets derailed.
All that negativity just crashes.

It has nowhere to go.

When you take this tiny little step
not only will you change your energy from
negative to positive, you
will give your children something to
live up to.  Thus raising their self esteem.

That’s your Motivation for Monday.
And you can actually use this skill
absolutely anywhere.

Since I am a parent coach I urge you to try
at home with your kids first.

Please share your success stories.
It really inspires others when they
see that something really does work.

Now get on with parenting with
Passion, Purpose, and Integrity

Grace

PS:  If you haven’t checked out the
podcasts at GEM Parenting why not do it now?

http://www.GEMParenting.com/storehtm

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Balanced Life fo Unitarian Universalist Moms

March 9, 2009 at 6:25 am | Posted in 1 | Leave a comment
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Are you

  • Female Unitarian at home mom between 30 and 50 years old
  • Children aged 4 to 12
  • Grappling with education or home schooling
  • Have a higher education
  • Making a change from how you were brought up
  • Spiritual curiosity
  • Liberal politics
  • Interested in energy transformations-EFT and Reiki in particular
  • Wanting to understand and use Law of Attraction
  • Leery of mass media
  • Interested in well-being of family-specifically nutrition, exercise/activity, communication-
  • Holistic parenting
  • Children who are very high achievers
  • Wanting to use positive intervention
  • Read hard cover books
  • Listen to NPR
  • Read blogs,
  • Love the outdoors and feel stifled by being indoors too much
  • Long term breast feeding
  • Family bed
  • Attachment parenting
  • Feel somehow separate from other moms, liked by many, but not as someone who is invited over.
  • Feeling inadequate as a mom, even though everything looks just “fine” to others.

Are these your Burning issues?

1: How to be this person with all the pressures that surround me? There are the social norms, the media that hits even when I don’t let my kids watch TV or go on line, family pressures, husband who is a bit put off by the out of the box parenting but going along with it- for now at least.

2: How can I support my kids in their achievements but not become the pushy parent with the needs? Is there any real way to be a supportive parent and not get too involved?

3: How can I maintain my sanity when there is all this energy change and I have no idea of what is best for my family or me? How can I make any good decision when there is just way too much to choose from?

BIG OVER ALL PROBLEM: Is there any escape from this totally overwhelming stress inducing thing called “Good Parenting”??????

Yes join me for UU Moms for a Balanced Life

http://tinyurl.com/UUMoms

Costumes at 80

November 6, 2008 at 7:09 am | Posted in Families, Self Esteem | 5 Comments
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Tomorrow we celebrate my mother’s 80th birthday.  We are going to Plymouth Plantation in Mass.  And we are going to wear period costumes.  So here’s the thing.  She is turning 80.  She can still decide to have fun, be creative, and step out of the norm.

When she first sent out the invitations there were plenty of people who had negative reactions.  Not to the party of course, but the abnormality of wearing costumes and even to going to Plymouth Plantation.  (Most people can drive there and those that have to fly would have to fly to where ever the party was.  And my mother’s house is not big enough to hold many people, so they would still have to stay in a hotel.)

My mom just kept telling everyone more or less the same thing.  “This is my 80th birthday party.  I plan to have lots of fun.  I hope you will as well.”  

This simple phrase allowed her to tell every one that she was comfortable with her plan; that she did not need their approval to go forward with her plan.  And as you can imagine everyone who is able to come is coming, in costume, and very excited about getting together. 

The point is, be confident with your ideas, your interests, your passions.  Even if you get disapproval from others, stay true to yourself.  The only way you can have high self-esteem is to be comfortable with your self.  Don’t rely on others opinions of you mold you.

And here comes a huge problem for parents.  You must by default mold your children’s behaviors.  You cannot just let them run wild.  So how do you mold your children and keep them having a high self-esteem?  The most important defense against destryong your children’s self esteem is positive intervention.

Positive intervention is staying true to your morals and values.  Look at how a situation may develop. Have some ways of averting situations.  Tell your children that you are helping them to understand the best paths for them.

As you go through the process of raising your children, believe that you and they are a gift of life.  Know this in your heart.  Hold it true.

And parent with Passion, Purpose, and Integrity

Grace

Are You Ready For the Parenting Plunge?

October 20, 2008 at 7:12 am | Posted in children, dads, Families, moms, Mothers, parents, Self Esteem | 2 Comments
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Happy Motivational Monday Grace,

Good Morning,
It is Motivational Monday.

Again already.
Have you taken any time last week to try loving your children?
Did you go into your bathroom even once to regroup?

Well, if you didn’t that’s OK, sort of.
Because here we are again at motivational Monday to start once more.

This week I have an idea. I have a graduation tomorrow. 
One of my clients is graduating.
She emailed me last spring. 
She was really struggling with self-acceptance.
It was affecting her parenting, her interactions with others,
Her self-esteem.
Basically her whole life.

She knew it was time for her to live her own life.
One without fear, stress, anxieties. 
She took the plunge.

She was desperate that her children did not grow up with
a mom who was just not her own best,
a mom who was suffering,
a mom who was unable to do the best for her children,
a mom who had low self-esteem.

She took the plunge.
She decided to change.
She emailed me for an appointment

And six months later she is graduating.
She has a new comfort zone,
She has a new way of self-acceptance.
She has her self-esteem.

For your motivation today I 
CHALLENGE you to take the plunge.

Do something this week
That will change who you are,
How you parent,
How you live for the rest of your life.

Are you ready? It just takes one email to get you started on 
Your journey.

Your journey to inner peace, 
Family pride,
And life changing self-esteem. 

Simply hit reply 
And take the plunge.

No matter what else you do today
parent with passion, purpose, and integrity.

Grace

How to Make Time Stand Still as a Parent.

July 17, 2008 at 6:38 am | Posted in 1, children, dads, moms, Mothers, parents, Self Esteem | Leave a comment
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Feature Article: How to Make Time Stand Still as a Parent.
 Find this article valuable? Please forward it to those in your network who may benefit from it as well. 

Please add “grace@gemparenting.com” to your safe senders list or address book in your email program, so that you can receive future issues without a glitch!

Interested in joining the free Pearl membership and get articles delivered directly to your email box every Thursday?  Just click on the gemparenting.com link on the right and sign up for the Pearl membership. 

***********************************************************************************

 

Personal note from <!–[if supportFields]> CONTACT _Con-3EF05DC31 \c \s \l <![endif]–>Grace <!–[if supportFields]><![endif]–>

Its already Thursday, I just can’t believe how time flies in the summer.  Here we are in the middle of July and I am thinking it is still the middle of June.

 

I understand that happens to all of us.  And we all wonder, “Where has the time gone?” 

 

I am really thinking this today as yesterday I took my dog to the vet for a check up.  He is sixteen years old!!!  He is in pretty good health, but has some fluid on the lungs. 

 

But I think about that little girl who was my daughter then, who is now an adult living in California by herself.  The time does pass and it goes quickly. 

 

That brings me to the feature article.  How can you hold time just a bit longer?  Let it linger a while before racing forward?

 

*****************************************************************

 

Feature article:

 

How to make Time Stand Still as a Parent

 

Time is so elusive.  There are times when we think can’t it ever just stop and then there are times when we want it to speed up and be quicker.  Of course what we want to stay put is what we love.  And what we want to pass quickly is what we are frustrated, confused, overwhelmed, and hurt by.

 

And here is the dilemma.  Most times people teach you how to prolong what you like.  But leave off anything about what you don’t like.

 

When this happens you can have a good idea of helping the parts of your life that you love be longer and they do over run parts of your life that cause you stress.  But with this method you do not get rid of all your stress.  You are replacing some, yes.  But what is left often is magnified.

 

What I want you to do is work on the part of your life that causes you stress.  Put it in perspective of time – Of forever time, not just today, this week, this month, or even this year.  Put it in perspective of your life, of time unending.  When you look at the stress causing incidents that are ruining your parenting right now are they going to be part of your life forever?  Will they disappear as your children get older?  You finish breakfast?  They head off to camp/school? 

 

Most everything that you stress and agonize over will be gone before you can even finish the worrying part.  Rather than be so preoccupied with these annoyances and problems, turn them into the basic process of parenting.  Allow the to be just what happens.  Teeth are somehow hard to get brushed., squabbling does happen, and being over tired exists. 

 

Take the pressure off yourself.  Be imperfect.  Allow your kids their imperfections. 

 

When you change your attitude to this, you actually give yourself more time.  You do not try to overrun the negative with the good.  You actually allow what has been the negative to be changed to neutral.  It is part of being.  Just like breathing, heart pumping, and yes going to the bathroom.  We do all these things without a lot of thought or effort. 

 

By living with these stresses as part of life rather than always trying to escape from them you not only have more time, you reduce the power of the stresses.  

 

The results are you enjoy your kids and parenting more.  And you reduce stress, thus improving your over all health.

 

Enjoy the summer, know that one day your kids will be grown and out of the house.

So be sure to

Parent with passion, purpose, and integrity.

 

Grace

******************************************************************

Upcoming Events

 

The problem that GEM parenting is having is to get others to know about this unique parenting style.

We are setting up a tell a friend contest.

Each week the person who has the largest number of invites to sign up for the Pearl membership will receive a free podcast form GEM Parenting.

The person who accumulates the most over a month will get to have a free one-hour coaching session with Grace.

What you do right now is begin to think of who you want to invite.

How do Serenity, Acceptance, Courage, Wisdom and Baseball Empower Your Parenting?

July 11, 2008 at 12:49 pm | Posted in children, dads, Families, moms, Mothers, parents, Self Esteem | Leave a comment
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How do Serenity, Acceptance, Courage, Wisdom and Baseball Empower Your Parenting?


This is the last day of talking about the powerful Serenity Prayer.  If you are just joining today, please check back to Monday to read everything.  You know that when something has been around for a while it lasts because there is truth in it.  That’s the way it is with the Serenity Prayer.

 

Today we are going to talk about how the last line, “and the wisdom to know the difference.”

First you gained serenity.  This freed you to accept that you are a wonderful parent with little or no control.  Bu t with this freedom you gained the opportunity to have the courage to change what you can.  That is you. 

 

It is you who you have control over.  What you have the most control over is your attitude and your actions.

 

Today you get to have wisdom.  This is an integral part of being a positive parent.  With wisdom you let go of the daily grind.  You reverse the pull of time.  You use a new way of thinking, a new power to bring love and peace to your home.

 

Picture this in your mind-

The wise one-

Doing what they always do-

They are peaceful, tranquil,

Restful, and pleased with their surroundings.-

 

Now give them a cell phone,

Ipod, and appointments.

 

What happened to the wise one?

Did his or her hair stand on end?

What happened to the wise one’s body?

In my case it has slumped, and seems very rigid. 

 

Peace, tranquility, rest, and pleasure with surroundings are all gone.

The wise one does not exist in our minds with all our modern “conveniences.”

 

Now I use all those things.  I am communicating with the web right now.  But to be able to have wisdom and wireless life, I must be wise.  I keep my serenity.  I accept what I can’t change.  And I have the courage to do what is right for me- I am not owned by my web presence. 

 

For you as a parent, keep your wisdom.  Let the image you have of the wise one be yourself as you are right now. 

A wise person does not have all the answers.  But is willing to find them or let go of the need to find answers. 

A wise person does not control.  Life flows through and around them.  They give and receive freely.

 

I am going to put the Serenity Prayer together with baseball so you can understand how you can bring this power energy to your parenting. 

First you need to step up to the plate.  A baseball player will do certain things to get focused, to get other clutter out of his mind, to be serene.

Second, you need to decide to what to do.  With baseball there are two things that the batter does-they swing or they decide to not swing.  This is acceptance of what comes.  The baseball player must accept he can’t pick his pitch.

Third, when you swing you have to know that you are going to hit that ball right out of the ballpark.  Or you know you will bunt the ball.  Or you know you will not swing at all.  As a parent take courage in your decisions.  It is when you waffle that you strike out.

Fourth, no matter what you do there will be judgments, both good and bad.  There are two teams watching, lots of fans will glad and others will be down right mad.  But the ball player is wise to know this play is over.  He must instantly start on the next play- run, dodge, or sit down till the next up.

You see how this prayer can give you such strength to be the parent you are meant to be?

Let yourself have serenity, acceptance, courage, and wisdom as a parent.  As always I am here to help you on this journey. 

The best place to start is by putting in your comment here.  If you would prefer to have a private message then send it to grace @ GEMParenting.com

 

I wish you a weekend filled with love and peace.

Parent with passion, purpose, and integrity.

 

Grace

Do You Have Courage To Stop Your Parenting Worries?

July 10, 2008 at 7:36 am | Posted in children, dads, Families, moms, Mothers, parents, Self Esteem | Leave a comment
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Do You Have Courage Stop Your Parenting Worries?

Because you have put serenity and acceptance into your life, you now have the ability to add courage.  In the Serenity Prayer this is the “courage to change the things I can.” 

It makes perfect sense.  What do you need courage for except to change things that you can?  But that puts you back in that whole space of anxiety doesn’t it?  What can you change and how can you change it?  How can you make everything work out right?  You are back with all the overwhelming choices you had before.

You are now saying, “Grace, couldn’t we have just stayed with the serenity and acceptance part?”

I wish we could have, but parenting just isn’t like that.  Parenting has hills to climb, views to see, hills to go down, and valleys to visit.

You can look at each part of this journey as a hard and arduous.  The climb can be so difficult you are spent and huffing and puffing the whole way, you have no energy to notice the view.  Or you may have brought clouds with you and can’t find anything to see anyway.  You may be frightened going down.  And you may think of the valley as gloomy.

When you put serenity with acceptance that you cannot change some things, you give yourself the courage to change what you can. 

Parenting is a journey and there is nothing you can do about it!  But you can change how you parent and your attitude about your children.  You can change your values and morals. 

You can take a beautiful hike up the hill, and even if there are clouds at the top, you can always find something magnificent at the top.  It may be so small you have to really stop and wait for your eyes to adjust, but you can and will find wonder every step of the way.  On the way down you can completely change your attitude that down is equivalent to bad.  Why not think of down as a kid?  They love to roll down, or slide down in the winter.  Or on a trail they skip and jump.  And rather than think the valley is a place of gloom and despair, regard it as your sanctity.  The valley is your resting and refueling place.

 

When I go for hikes with my children, we go on the hike knowing there will parts that are hard.  On the way up we rest and have a bit of a snack about every hour-and I have been known to stop every twenty steps when its too difficult.  We do things to entertain ourselves.  We play rocks and roots.  We can only step on rocks and roots.  And the weather in the mountains can and does change, with our view being obliterated at times when we get to the top.  When this happens we rest, and my kids still find wonder and joy at being on the top.  The view is not the only thing up there for them.  The hike down is always filled with songs and more rocks and roots.  Often we are exhausted, holding hands and supporting each other.  But when we get to the bottom we are always glad to have gone on the journey.

Each and every part of the journey of parenting can be that way for you.  You can take the courage to bring strength, vitality, and passion to your parenting.

And the funny thing is, it is only you who can bring your courage to parenting.  Without your courage to change, you have to go on the same way you are now.

 

Take your courage today.  Know you have every right and privilege to be courageous.  If you have been courageous, please take a moment to give courage to others and write a comment.

Can You Accept Being a Great Parent Without Control?

July 9, 2008 at 7:13 am | Posted in attitudes, children, dads, Families, GEM Parenting Secrets, moms, Mothers, parents, Wednesday Wisdom | Leave a comment
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As a parent you need to understand that you are in control of your child and at the exact same time you are as far removed from your child as an elephant in Africa. 

You have an obligation as a parent to set up the most caring home you can:  A home filled with love, positive guidance, and morals and values that you believe in.  But as you know, this is a task that causes great anxiety.  You are so stretched to your limits of parenting that some times you lose sight of how to create this home. And you trudge along hoping everything will be good in the end.

The saddest part of this picture is that often things turn out fine in the end.  But the journey has been so difficult and so arduous that it hardly seems to matte any way.

What you want is to find a way to know the end of the journey is going to be good and at the same time to enjoy and relish your time as a parent.

Yesterday we talked about being granted serenity.  If you have not reached any moments of serenity then you need to think of how you are trying to get it.  If there is any begging, neediness, or whining for it, you are can try being more gentle with yourself and with your eternal energy.

Today we are going to talk about “accepting the things I cannot change.”  Every moment that we are alive we are out of control.  We cannot truly control anything or anyone. 

When you look at life this way you can let go of the things that bug you, drive you crazy, and keep you up at night.  Know that you can not actually change things.  Know that change happens, and reactions happen to what you do. 

How does this kind of thinking change your parenting?  As a parent you may have been trying to set everything up to be just perfect, or even as nearly perfect, as you are humanly capable of doing for your family.  This of course is well and good. 

The problem comes because of all the glitches.  And these glitches, large and miniscule, gnaw at your insides, put overwhelm in everything you do- from breathing to actually reading a story to your children.

When you “accept the things I cannot change” you no longer have to be in control.  You now have the privilege to see yourself as one who influences, who guides, and can set things in motion.  But the weight of perfection is gone.

You are a wonderful parent filled with love and caring.  Remember you have serenity.  Now with accepting that which you cannot change, you have freedom to truly love and cherish your children. 

Loving and cherishing your children is the number one best thing you can do to set the motion for your children live the most fantastic life they can.  And it starts today!

Accept the things you cannot change.  Put serenity into its proper place in your parenting.  And see how the nagging, headache causing stresses that surround you and your children begin to evaporate.

You are welcome to share your acceptance of the things you cannot change and how that freed you to love and cherish your children. 

If you have a major acceptance please share, and if you have something that is so trivial and insignificant please share that as well. 

Everyone needs to hear how you are able to use this information.

As always, Parent with Passion, Purpose, and Integrity.

Grace

 

Can you actually bring serenity to your parenting?

July 8, 2008 at 9:39 am | Posted in 1, children, dads, Families, moms, Mothers, parents, Self Esteem | Leave a comment
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Lets look at the first line of the Serenity Prayer and how it relates to your parenting.  

God grant me the serenity

 First, what you need to focus on is asking for serenity.  At this point in time you are so overwhelmed and anxious about your parenting and how your kids are going to turn out that you really feel that you couldn’t possibly have any serenity.  I know I have had times in my own life where I thought this was some prayer just for alcoholics. 

 But let me assure you.  When you take this part of the prayer and give yourself serenity, even for a moment at a time, your anxieties will diminish.  When you give yourself serenity you cannot have anxiety at the same time.  They simply do not go together. 

 I believe that you give yourself serenity as soon as you ask for it with knowledge, conviction, and deep soul belief that you will receive serenity.  This is something that you give yourself.  As soon as you own and accept that you are truly able to have serenity you will have serenity. 

 Serenity does not mean your problems will vanish.  It does not mean your children will miraculously be perfect.  It means your anxieties will vanish.  It means you will relieve your overwhelm.

 When you get rid of anxiety and overwhelm you can be part of your children’s life.  You can enjoy what you are doing right now.  The crazy world will be on the outside, but you and your family will be held together with a new deep love that overpowers the need to prove yourself to anyone.

 You will be free to explore the world with peace and love as your guide.

 For this day I want you to stay true to asking for and being granted serenity.

 Each and every time you have anxiety or overwhelm, say with all you heart, “God grant me the serenity.”

 Please share with others how this small, short, quick phrase helps your anxieties and overwhelm vanish.

 For this day and everyday forward I wish you parenting with serenity.

Grace

Motivational Monday

July 7, 2008 at 12:55 pm | Posted in children, Families, GEM Parenting Secrets, moms, Mothers, Motivational Monday, parents, Self Esteem, spirituality | Leave a comment
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Wow what a great weekend I just had. I hope yours was great s well.  I spent time with family, went to the beach, hung out at home, did house projects, went to church at the beach and finished the weekend off with a trip to the Museum of Natural History in NYC with two of my kids and husband.  

This week I want to talk with you about how to use the eternal energy and spirit to reduce your stress and anxieties of parenting. 

Look at yourself.  Really take a good look.  Are you so overwhelmed that you can’t see your connection with all eternity?  Are you lost without any spirit or soul? 

Why am I asking this?  Because if you are parenting without any soul, spirit or connection with the eternal energy, then you are truly alone. 

And being alone as a parent puts you as risk of really srewing things up.  Not just for yourself, but for your kids as well. 

 You see with all the stress and anxiety that you are giving to yourself- yes you are giving this to yourself-then you are creating an atmosphere for your kids that almost forces them to look outside for approval.This is your best way to make your kids never be satisfied with themselves.

So for today I want you to think about the first part of the Serenity Prayer. 

God grant me the serenity 
to accept the things I cannot change; 


Courage to change the things I can;


And wisdom to know the difference.

 

When you use this prayer as part of your parenting you will see that you are part of a whole.  That what you do at this very moment will have little to do with your child as a whole. 

If you constantly try to make things happen, alter the way things are and distrust the world around you and most importantly distrust yourself, you will set yourself up for complete disappointment.

Now truly contemplate, meditate and pray the Serenity Prayer for your parenting.

Let us know how using the Serenity Prayer helps you today with you parenting.  Please add your comment in the comments section.

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