Along with all the Emotional Turmoil, We Had to Decide About Surgery

September 23, 2011 at 10:12 pm | Posted in ACL recovery, attitudes, Move to Park City Utah, Self Esteem | Leave a comment
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Along with all the emotional turmoil we were going through we also had to decide which doctor to do the surgery and even if Jamie wanted to do surgery again. We are now living in a mecca of ACL surgeons. All of whom are thought to be excellent, the best, none better. We went to a couple with the same result. Just what we knew anyway- Surgery with six months of physical therapy before going back to sport. And no better than an 80% success rate- with extreme athletes it lowers to almost 50%.

This was dismal to Jamie (and me for that matter.) Not only how would she stand it, but how could I, as her mother, watch her just hang around another winter.

So here’s the thing. When Jamie first tore her ACL last Dec she told me about a synthetic ligament. I was totally dubious, and guided her to the tried and all American method of using human grafts, either autograft or allograft. Autograft is the fancy term for using something from your own body. Allograft is the fancy, polite term of using something from a cadaver. And cadaver is the fancy, polite term for a dead body. The term for getting the tendon is called harvesting the tendon.

Anyway, Jamie harvested one of her hamstring tendons already.
So we were looking at using an allograft.

She began to study in earnest the synthetic ligament. There were some drawbacks. First, it wasn’t FDA approved. This could be serious or it could be all the red tape it takes to get anything FDA approved. This leads to the second drawback. It wouldn’t be covered by insurance. So it would certainly be costly! The third drawback would be having to travel for the surgery. The fourth drawback would be the fear and emotional chaos of trying something not well known to those around us or us. And the fifth drawback is the fact that this technique is only 15 years old.

Of course there would be perks and advantages of using the synthetic ligament. First, it would be stronger than a human graft- either autograft or allograft. As a matter of fact, it would be lots stronger! Second, the recovery time would be cut in half. Thus meaning that Jamie would potentially be able to ski this winter- possibly even competing. Third, the rerupture rate is almost nonexistent. Fourth, Jamie knew people who have this synthetic ligament and are truly thrilled with their recovery.

I started to really investigate this possibility. I scoured the Internet; read every article, blog post, and blurb I could find; watched YouTube videos by athletes who had had the surgery.

I was set. I had my ideas confirmed as well. Using the synthetic ligament with an allograft was the perfect answer.

We contacted coordinator of the Canadian doctors to discuss Jamie’s case.

Still I needed more. Many consider me a leader, but in my heart I want to be a follower just like everyone else.

So I contacted, vie email, blog, Facebook, and twitter, every athlete I had heard of with the synthetic ligament. And low and behold I heard back from some. They had only positive things to say about the whole process of going to Canada, the man who coordinates everything, the doctor who does the surgery, the physical therapy, and the strength and stability after words.

The only thing no one could talk about was the longevity, because no one had been longer than two or three years.

Then we heard back from the dr. He would do the surgery, but instead of the allograft he wanted to do another autograft using a piece of her quad tendon.

Now came decision time. I was torn. Would this harvesting of a tendon affect her strength or stability? Once again I sought out athletes who had had this exact operation. Most of these athletes had already had at least one ACL reconstruction.

Everyone agreed 100% to go ahead. I even had a mom contact me; she was very supportive of the results for her daughter.

So yes- I wired the money for the surgery today, bought our airline tickets, and we head off to Canada Oct 4.

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We Weren’t All Happy, We Weren’t All Satisfied, BUT We Were Determined

September 20, 2011 at 9:55 pm | Posted in ACL recovery, attitudes, Move to Park City Utah, Self Esteem | Leave a comment
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Saturday brought one new complication. Jeanee had a ramp competition in the afternoon, which Jamie had been planning on entering as well. Jamie was past hating her sister. But I really didn’t know if she was ready to face the place where she had her injury or watch the other athletes have so much fun in the competition; I knew she was able to support her sister.

I took Jeanee for precomp training and went back to the house. I announced very clearly and strongly. “I am going to watch Jeanee in the comp this afternoon. You can come with me or stay here. I WILL be going to see Jeanee no matter what you decide.”

Jamie didn’t answer with anything other than mumbled words. Of course it was a tough decision, and I knew why. But rather than voicing these, I left it for Jamie to sort out.

Fifteen minutes before it was time for me to go I went up to Jamie’s room. “I’m leaving in 15 minutes. You can come or stay it is up to you.”
“I don’t know if I can go.”
“Then stay here. I am leaving in 15 minutes.”

I left the room.

Ten minutes later I went back and told Jamie I was leaving.
“OK, I’ll go. I want to support Jeanee. I want to see her do some sick tricks! And besides if I stay here I may just hurt myself”

I told Jamie that I thought it was braver to go than to stay home.
“How can it be braver. If I stay here I may do something terrible.”
“Anyone can hurt themselves in private. It’s going out in public, to the place where you long to be, seeing people do exactly what you wish you could be doing that takes much more strength.
“You’re crazy. But I’m going anyway.”

When we arrived at the Utah Olympic Park Jamie had real second thoughts. But we were exactly on time for the comp. There was no going back. I wasn’t going to miss Jeanee to take Jamie home because she chickened out.

I told Jamie, “You can get out of the car now, or wait in the car. The choice is yours.”

She got out of the car. We got ourselves on the some grass near the athletes. I held Jamie’s leg up to keep the swelling down. Lots of people came over to say hi. After Jeanee’s first jump- which was great by the way- Jamie had to go to the bathroom. She decided to go on deck, where the athletes were.

I knew at that moment Jamie had passed from the depressed, desolate, injured athlete to the injured, coming back, dynamic Jamie that finds the way to do whatever comes in her path with energy, style, gusto, and as full of life as there is to live.

She spent the next hour talking with athletes and coaches, all smiles.

Jeanee came in second for her age group. We left a different family.

We weren’t all happy, we weren’t all satisfied with the turn of events, but we were determined to get past this, to make the best of it, and most importantly love and support each other no matter what circumstances got in the way.

The Worst Moment was seeing the Love and Devotion Being Torn Apart

September 19, 2011 at 11:06 pm | Posted in ACL recovery, attitudes, Move to Park City Utah, Self Esteem | Leave a comment
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That evening when I picked up Jeanee after ramping, she was all excited about what she had accomplished that day. It was great to see her so excited and bubbly. And it reaffirmed to me that her interest and involvement in freeskiing was pure, just as Jeanee is with everything she does.

Still I wanted to warn her about Jamie. I just had this feeling that if I could have a moment of hating Jeanee, then Jamie might have an uncontrolled outburst of hating Jeanee. And her hatred would be just the same as mine- Not at Jeanee- It would be 100% misplaced anger with Jeanee getting the brunt of it.

Jeanee understood how Jamie might be mad at her, even though she had nothing to do with Jamie’s injury. I told her this might come up in the next week or so. I told her about my feeling the day before. And how it was really displaced anger.

And that great and wonderful kid smiled and told me she would probably have done the same. “It’s OK mama- I know you are just confused and upset- It’s not me you are angry at. And you can’t be angry at Jamie. And if you got mad a Jilly- Well, that would just be terrible with her temper.”

We walked in the house and Jeanee went upstairs to say hi to Jamie. Who screamed, “Get out of my room. I hate you. You took everything from me and now I have nothing.”

Jeanee left the room, which incidentally the girls actually share so it was as much Jeanee’s room as it was Jamie’s.

This was the worst moment for me, seeing the love and devotion that those two girls had for each other be torn apart. I couldn’t blame Jamie for her anger, disappointment, and even hatred. And even though I had told Jeanee about this possibility, how would she really take it? Could she let it roll off her? Could she really understand from her heart what was going on? Not just from her head- we can often understand from our head what our hearts have no idea how to handle.

I could do nothing while this was going on- but hope and pray that somehow Jeanee would be OK and Jamie would get over this.

For dinner Jamie stormed down the stairs (and with crutches this makes quite a scene!) and hollered at Jeanee once again.
“Get out of here. I HATE you. If you don’t go someplace I will hurt you.”

Jeanee quietly went upstairs. Jamie sat at the table with horrible, negative, dark energy swirling around her. She ranted for a few minutes about how much she hated Jeanee. I told her I could understand her feelings. I understood why and how she hated Jeanee.

As tough as it was, I never negated Jamie’s feelings. I allowed them. I didn’t encourage them though. I just let them be.

It was my instinct, and it was right. After only five minutes of this ranting Jamie started to cry.

“I can’t hate my little sister. She didn’t cause my accident. She is so sweet and wonderful. I love my little sister. I love Jeanee!”

Jeanee came back down and dinner went on- Yes we were quiet, not our usual talking bouncing all over the place conversations. But what we had was unspeakable. It was deep love and respect.

Later I told Jeanee that I guess I was right on target about Jamie, only I didn’t think it would happen so soon. I asked her if it helped that I had warned her.

“Oh yes- I’m not sure how I would have handled it if I didn’t have your warning.”
The rest of the evening- and late into the night we watched funny movies.

Things were getting better for sure.

Her Dad Was Able to Express His Feelings of Despair

September 19, 2011 at 11:01 am | Posted in ACL recovery, attitudes, dads, Move to Park City Utah, Self Esteem | Leave a comment
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Friday was much the same as Thursday, starting with physical therapy at 7 am. In the afternoon we went to another Dr in hopes that he would say there was some other alternative than surgery and six months of rephab with the same risk factor as before.

Jamie’s depression was severe when we left the second Dr. And I had had to ask for rides for Jeanee both to and from school. Man, I hated arriving in Park City and being so needy.

In the afternoon I really had to get away from Jamie for a little while. I had Jilly stay in the room with her- and I took Jeanee to ramps. I also called all my relatives again- giving them the update- which was still dismal.

The call with Jamie’s dad was still the toughest to do.

Giving the information was not so tough, but
“When can I call her?”
“I don’t know yet. She is acutely depressed and if you talk to her it could send her off the deep end right now.”
“I know she is depressed, but how would you feel if you couldn’t talk to her?”
“Terrible. There is no denying you feel terrible that she won’t talk to you right now.”
“I’m her father. I have a right to talk to her.”
“Yes you are her father and of course you have a right to talk to her. OR you can decide that as much as you hurt, you will respect her wishes and wait till she tells me to tell you that you can call her.”
“I’m going to call her today.”
“Of course you can. I will not tell you can’t call your own daughter, but I do think you may want to think about respecting her needs and wishes right now.
“I’ll think about it- Goodbye”

So of course he respected Jamie and waited till she was ready to talk to him, that was not till Sunday- two days later. I am sure that being the parent that has to wait is excruciatingly painful. Either way, being the parent of a child that is injured is tough. I am so grateful that her dad was able to express his feelings of despair to me and still be able to respect Jamie- Not easy to do for sure.

Even I Have Moments that are so Wrong and Out of Place

September 18, 2011 at 10:44 pm | Posted in ACL recovery, attitudes, Move to Park City Utah | Leave a comment
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I wanted to share my feelings about Jeanee because of course I don’t hate her. I love her. I wanted to share that even a “great” mom who has been working with parents for over 20 years as a counselor in all kinds of capacities has moments that are so wrong and out-of-place. My feeling of hatred was 100% misplaced anger- And lucky for me and Jeanee she never felt it. But let me tell you this- That moment of hatred at Jeanee really helped me to help her, which I’ll get to later.

By the time I picked up Jeanee from school I was well past any feelings of hatred toward her. We had a great ride home. She was very happy with her classes. It was her fun day- art, dance, and science. And she had lunch with a ski friend she had made a couple of years ago. All good.

So back to the screaming that was going on in the morning. Oh joy! Jamie was not any more hurt than before. She was just awake knowing that it was real. She really had blown out her knee again. I put ice on her, gave her meds, and fed her. She was now asking all the questions I had been asking myself. I gave her the same silent treatment I gave myself. I didn’t, and still don’t, have any answer why a person who did everything possible to be strong and ready physically and who is a really fun and happy kid would have this happen to her- again.

After a few minutes Jamie calmed down. Well, she didn’t actually stop being upset. She just became bitter. The meds began to take effect and she dozed off. Right after I got back with Jeanee, I had to keep things going smoothly for Jeanee and Jilly. Needy mom had to call others to help her- The girls needed a ride to the ramps. Well, it wasn’t really necessary, but I did think it much better than having them stay home and do nothing. Jamie and I left to go to physical therapy and the DR. She cried her way into physical therapy. Her wooden leg moved 15 degrees- and was constantly in pain. While waiting for the Dr, Jamie stoically took out her kindle and read.

As is the usual case, sometime much later than our appointment, we entered the space that just might give Jamie her freedom. There was anticipation, hope, deep desire.

The Dr and his assistant were pleasant and efficient. They had three other re-ruptured ACL’s that very day. We were in good hands. At least that was good. And with great care the Dr tested the ACL. Nothing. Loose- no tight locking. It was gone. Jamie felt her life was over. Doomed to be someone who never was.

During the day I forgot-I did go shopping and get more food. I also got up the courage to call my family. Not easy. And her father. It took all my abilities to tell him. I knew he would be crushed. I had to hold onto that. And not listen to the words that came out of his mouth. All he was doing was being crushed. “How did it happen?” he demanded. “Oh my poor Jamie- hurt.” is what he meant. “Didn’t anyone tell her to stop?” he barked. “I can’t stand it.” He meant. And so on for about five minutes. Finally I said, ” I know you are as upset as I am about this. Please give Jamie the respect to not call her till she is ready.” And instead of continuing to grill me on what happened and what was I going to do, he said OK and let me hang up the phone.

Dinner that night was terse. The food- who knows- I didn’t even have a pantry with supplies in it or a freezer filled with home made meals. The conversation was about as palatable sawdust. But we made it through.

That night Jamie had a huge change. She made it clear she did not want pity. She was sure her life was over. “What’s the point? No matter what I do I will never be able to really feel free again. I am now just trapped in a body that can almost do something, but will always stop just before- scared to go on.”

At this point something snapped in me. No pity for sure. But this kid was taking this a bit too far. For God’s sake she was walking, talking, and angry. But her life was far from over. This was too much for me to take any longer.

I put on a funny movie from netflicks and began to move that block of wood. I massaged from the foot down. I wiggled the toes. And I talked.

“You know Mommy- there is no point in doing this. The Jamie that was injured is dead.”
“I know. And now there is a new Jamie.”
“Well, this Jamie has no optimism in her.”
“That’s OK. She can be a pessimistic, negative, nay sayer for all I care.’
Yeah, well there really is no point in doing anything.”
“Look here- You may hate everything right now, And I don’t blame you. But you have an obligation to this new Jamie. You must give this new Jamie the same chance the old Jamie had. And unless you kill yourself or have a fatal accident you have very little choice but to live for about another 90 to 100 years.”
“What’s the point? I’ll never be happy. And this will haunt me for the rest of my life.”
“So you think that George (My uncle who was in the Olympics twice and injured both times who went on to become a multibillionaire) was haunted his whole life that he didn’t make it all the way in skiing?”
“No but”
“There is no BUT. He lived on. And made a wonderful life for himself. He is one of the MOST happy and satisfied people I have ever known. Oh, and how about your Aunt Eleanor? Over 80 and hiking all these mountains with the ease and energy of someone your age?”
Yeah, I know.”
“So no pity. You owe this new Jamie a leg that moves, is strong, and will keep up with her energy- happy or angry. That doesn’t matter. You can’t give her a gimp leg.”

And for almost 48 hours I had to keep moving her leg, keep talking to her with strength, rationality, passion, and absolutely no compassion, sympathy or pity.

Still I couldn’t leave her alone. She was in an acute depression. Those days were exhausting! But the worst was yet to come.

Dead Silence. There was No Answer. Then Came the Screams

September 18, 2011 at 9:27 am | Posted in ACL recovery, attitudes, Move to Park City Utah | Leave a comment
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And Jeanee – OMG again- Jeanee. “Jeanee starts school tomorrow. Her first day of school.” Now this first day of school wasn’t just the norm for any all American 15 year old kid. No, Jeanee was going to school for the first time ever. She had been home schooled all her life. One reason we came to Park City was so that she could participate in school part time and home school the other part. We had things arranged so that she was in school from 7:30 to 12:30.

And what a cool course load- Dance, art, and Science one day and Spanish, computer tech, and her dreaded math the next day. We are still doing English and Geography at home.

So mixed in with the tragedy of Jamie’s injury I needed to be all excited and up for Jeanee to be going to school. I felt really terrible about not having a special dinner for her, or some kind of thing to honor this big change in her life.

But I didn’t pretend that I could make it up later. Life hardly has real make it up later opportunities. The opportunity is usually NOW.

So, I somehow managed to get a special dinner and have a special feeling of excitement for Jeanee going to school the next day and at the same time I was suffering and in total agony for Jamie.

That night I slept on the futon in Jamie and Jeanee’s room while Jeanee slept in my bed with Jilly. Our only beds so far.

I was up most of the night. Either trying to make it stop being true, soothing Jamie in anyway I could, fixing her ice contraption that I brought with us as one of those insurances that if I had it we wouldn’t really need it. I guess it didn’t work.

But in the morning I had to jump up from what was finally being a sound sleep, know it was horribly real, and get going on getting Jeanee up and off to school. No huge fanfare. No excitement from the sisters. Just the two of us getting off- almost like it was an ordinary event we had been doing for years.

Oh, and when we got to the school I did mortify her by insisting on taking a picture of her at her first school. We went into the school, did a bit more paper work, and off she went. I was to pick her up at 12:50. That was fun. That was why we came here. I felt like things were as they should be.

Then I got in my car. I had called no one. I knew I had to call my family. But how? What would I say? How could I even say the words out loud? By calling I made it all real. But I could wait a little longer. I didn’t have to call just yet. I could pretend for another hour or so.

So I went home ready to pretend that life was just the way we planned. I’d let Jamie sleep as long as her drugs let her. And I would get Jilly up to do her schoolwork. Jamie’s knee was just a small bother. I mean we didn’t know for sure that the ACL was torn again. And when we went to the Dr.…- OH yeah- I have to go home and schedule that appointment now. No forgetting, no pretending, nothing the way I hoped, planned, dreamed.

Then I had a strange feeling. I hated Jeanee. Why was everything being so perfect for her? She didn’t even love skiing like Jamie did. Competing was just a side part of her life. Her real love was the social that’s part of all these sports. “Wohoa. Now that is just not allowed. You should be totally ashamed of yourself! That sweet girl deserves to have just as much wonder and love of life as Jamie. So what if she got in this for different reasons than Jamie?” It was that voice again. “Yeah, I know. I love Jeanee. Really I do, but why did this have to happen to Jamie?”

Dead silence. There was no answer.

All this on my short drive home. Again, something new that we didn’t have in NH. All drives home were a long trip of over 25 miles.

When I got in things were quiet. I called the Dr. referred to us at the ER. They squeezed us in.

Then came the screams.

Can You Nurture Yourself?

November 17, 2008 at 7:44 am | Posted in children, dads, Families, moms, Mothers, parents, Self Esteem | Leave a comment
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Good Morning,

It’s motivational Monday again, already. Can you believe it?  I hope you have had a great week.  I sure did. If you did hold onto the energy from it.

But if you are coming from a stressful, over loaded week, then right this minute,as you read this, shake off the stress.  Let that energy go away from you.

One really great way to do this is literally shake your arms and legs, your head.  While you’re at it get up and shake your whole self. I just did it. It feels great.  Now if you really did it great, if not do it now. Don’t worry about what they think.

But that’s not the real motivation. The real motivation for today is to nurture yourself.  I know you are simply too busy to think about or actually nurture yourself in much.  So now I want you to think of one thing you can do, doesn’t cost money, and doesn’t take more than 15 minutes, But you love to do it.  And it is simple to do.

Just to let you know:  Here are the things I do for self-nurturing:  Each morning I take from 30 minutes to an hour to do yoga, meditation, and Reiki. I have lunch w/ my kids, And each evening I have story time w/kids, it can be short.  But usually we spend an hour reading at night.

I also go outdoors everyday for at least 30 minutes. I walk, hike, ski, and whenever possible, I camp.  And swim in the summer.

I have just a couple more things I do to nurture myself-I eat healthy, have good friends, and enjoy whatever I am doing.I talk on the phone each day with my children who are not at home, and my mother, father, and sister. I read, sew and do crafts when time permits.

I basically live with passion, purpose, and integrity with everything I do.

Oh yes, I have all the regular stuff; bills, laundry, errands, groceries, cooking, cleaning, my least favorite-clutter control.  And I home school. And I have an Olympic training athlete. And I have four kids. And of course, I have you. 

I tell you this because I want you to know you can both find the time and take the time to give yourself 15 minutes of self-nurturing. 

It is not selfish, irresponsible, or lazy.  It is healthy, relaxing, and necessary.  It is soul reviving.  It is spiritual.  If you can’t do it for yourself,  then nurture yourself for your kids.  They deserve to have a parent who can let stress go. Who lives by their values. Your kids deserve to know you-At your best, everyday!

I motivate you to take 15 minutes to nurture yourself each day this week.  Please let me know what you plan to do.  Just hit comments at the top of this section, and put down your self-nurturing for this week.

And as I always say: Parent with Passion, Purpose, and Integrity,

Grace
PS, I haven’t heard if the audio link works.
Is no news good news?
Do you like having the audio?
Or have you just not even bothered to check it out?

Change This Afternoon w/out Stress

November 11, 2008 at 3:37 pm | Posted in dads, Families, moms, Mothers, parents, Self Esteem | Leave a comment
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Today I spent a great deal of the day picking up the mess.  As you know I have been incredibly busy the past few weeks.  So there was plenty of mess today.

 

But rather than looking at this as an over whelming task, as a thing that was some sort of growing monster I had no control over, I simply put everything I wanted in one pile in the floor.  Threw away the rest.  Then I sorted and put away.  Finally I vacuumed.  And I was done. 

 

It was a task.  It had to be done.  And it would have been easy to have felt it was just too much to get through.  Procrastination would have been simple.  So why did I do this?

 

What happened that allowed me to get through this without stress, overwhelm and anxiety?

 

I did it.  I did not think about it.  I did not analyze it.  And I did not let all the other “fun” things get in the way.

 

And now I get to look at my nice clean house, and it only took me a couple of hours.

 

So this afternoon find a moment to stop procrastinating.  It might be in your decluttering, it might be in your making phone calls, doing research, or changing your parenting.

 

What ever it is make a change.  Don’t think.  Throw your anxieties in the trash.  Put your overwhelm down the garbage disposal. 

 

Let others know what you change you made today.  Leave your comments

 

And no matter what parent with passion, purpose, and integrity.

 

Grace

 

Great Weekend Celebrating 80 years-

November 10, 2008 at 11:04 am | Posted in dads, Families, moms, Mothers, parents, Self Esteem | Leave a comment
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Happy Motivational Monday,

 

It’s been one terrific week for me.  The first thing I want to do is thank everyone who sent a birthday wish to my mother.  She was so honored by your responses.

 

Second I want to share what a week it has been. 

 

On Monday my 16 yo started her winter training.  This means she had to be in a number of places over the course of the day, but we were never quite sure where and when.

And the regular stuff of schooling my other girls, my work, and dance and hockey in the afternoon.

 

Tuesday brought on all of the Monday stuff and the addition of my eldest flying in from CA.  The airport is a 3+hr roundtrip.  Of course there was the election and results, which we all stayed up till 1 am to watch.

 

On Wednesday we had all that I have said going on + my eldest applying for jobs in NH.  (Which means she is serious about coming home to live.)

 

And during all this time I was making costumes for the relatives who were not so creative or handy or had enough time.  (That was the big laugh because I certainly don’t ever have time).  And getting messages from my sister about what we still needed to do for the party once we got to Plymouth, Mass.

 

Then came Thursday- First thing we (all of us) were off to the physical therapist to be sure my back would be OK for the weekend.  And as we went the car decided to go no faster than 45 mph.  I knew the car was a bit off.  I have gone 160,000 in it.  So after physical therapy we took it to the shop.  And had to find a ride home- 10 miles. 

 

In the afternoon it was confirmed the transmission was blown.  So added to everything was renting a vehicle. 

 

We rented a pick up.  My eldest was offered 4 positions in her field.  Everyone got to their programs and training.  My 16 yo got packed for her training out west.  Just the costumes didn’t get done.  And I was WAY over stressed.

 

Friday I worked on the costumes, while my 12 yo organized and packed the truck- we not only had our party stuff, weekend stuff, but both my eldest daughter’s traveling stuff, and we had my mother’s 80 years worth of pictures.  The pictures of course got to be in the cab.  But it was just ready to rain.  So the stress didn’t slide off as we went south.  After 2 hrs the rain came.  Not too bad, but enough to have to stop and get the 2 backpacks in the cab.  Now everyone but me had their knees in their ears to travel.  But we only had one more hr to go.

 

And when we got there everything was wonderful.  We had the pre-party at the hotel, where we all ate, took pictures of costumes, and talked, talked, talked. 

 

The real party was at the Plimouth Plantation itself.  My family went a little early.  We got the pictures set up; the tables decorated, and were ready when everyone arrived. 

 

After the dinner we had the skits and songs.  Lots of laughter, lots of memories, and lots of love.

 

And my mother blew out ALL 80 candles in one breath!  Yes she is very strong.

 

Saturday we toured the plantation, had lunch together and went on board the Mayflower II.  After all that I had to take my 16 yo to Boston airport to go out west for training.  I got back in time to join my mother, her 2 daughters (me being one of them), her 2 son-in-laws and all her five grandchildren went out to eat- just her immediate family. 

 

After dinner the 2 eldest grandchildren and my sister and brother-in-law went out dancing, while the rest of us went back to the hotel.

 

Sunday I had to take my eldest to the airport, and I drove back to NH with my two youngest.  Guess what?  I went to sleep just as soon as we got home. 

 

This morning I am thrilled to be able to remind you that you are just as amazing as my mother is.  You see, in her 80 years everything was not all roses.  She had so many downs you might think that she would have lost heart.  But she knew better.  Each time she fell off her horse, she jumped on another one.  She learned each time how to ride just a bit better, how to let go when necessary, but how to hold on to what was necessary.  Her life was a prime candidate for depression, remorse, whining, and complaining.  Boy, could she have been “the victim.”   She made the choice every time. 

 

So if you are off your horse today, out of sorts, not quite in gear, go get another horse.  Walk a while if you need to.  Keep your head up and love each of your children.  Someday they will be grown up and on their own.  

 

Choose this day so when you are 80, you and your family will rejoice and celebrate.

 

Take your time to parent with Passion, Purpose, and Integrity today,

 

Grace

Results will Change Your Self-Esteem and Parenting

November 5, 2008 at 8:26 am | Posted in children, dads, Families, moms, Mothers, parents, Self Esteem | 2 Comments
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This is Wonderful Wednesday, and for the Obama followers and me it is.  As you know I have kept quiet about my personal opinion about the election.  But now it is over and I am thrilled.

 

One thing I am excited about is change.  As a nation we are slow to try new things, new ideas.  But we were fed up with the old and ready to try on the new.

 

Another thing I am thrilled about is that our president elect has the ability to communicate enthusiasm.  We need to step out as a nation from our apathetic approach to light ourselves on fire again.  Our forefathers set up our constitution and our nation to be one of action, pride, and self-respect.

 

You see in blogging, coaching, even old stand-by’s like newspapers, people are ready and invigorated to change from the laissez faire attitude that has become so pervasive over the past ten years.

 

We are ready to step out and dance.  Try on new shoes and think new thoughts.

 

We are an amazing nation and it is time to restock ourselves.

 

And what does this have to do with parenting?  Everything.  By having new energy as a nation we can revamp how we do things not only as a nation, but as individuals.  We can find new paths, travel new journeys.  We can feel good about ourselves again.

 

When the nation gets in a slump so do the individuals.  Parents struggle to stay afloat both emotionally and financially, but with the new energy you can sop it up.  Use it for yourself.  Redefine how you parent, what your morals and values are.  You can change, add or delete goals.

 

This is your time as a nation and your time as an individual to rebuild. I have been saying for ten years that the self-esteem of our nation has been collapsing.  This means you as individuals have been suffering.  With this new change, new energy, we as a nation have stated loud and clear we are ready to pull ourselves up from the bootstraps. 

 

You can and will have a better ability to live and parent.  It might come from changes in government, but more than likely it will come from the change in energy that spread over us last night. 

 

I celebrate our national changes and I celebrate each and every single individual change that occurred to make the national change.  Now take that energy and live with it everyday.  Use this energy to change yourself, your parenting, and touch the world.

 

And of course

Parent with Passion, Purpose, and Integrity

Grace

PS: As always any comments are welcome.  Just hit the word comment on the top where the other tags are.

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