Summer time

July 16, 2008 at 1:49 pm | Posted in children, dads, Families, moms, Mothers, parents, Self Esteem | Leave a comment
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Just a real quicky to let you know what a great summer my family is having.  we are truly living process rather product.  Last night the kids and I slept on the trampoline.  It was lots of fun, giggles and of course rather bouncy when ever anyone turned over!  Today the girls spent time being a house in the civil war that was part of the underground railroad.  We had lunch in our “Milk Carton Castle”  (We have a over 1000 milk cartons to make this structure)  It was blue-berry slump. Yummy!!  They also picked fresh raspberries from our very own patch.  

While they were playing, I did some emails, worked with clients, and set up a few new connections.  I also took my 16 year old dog to the vet for his check up.  He is in generally good health, needing some medication for heart troubles.  And as soon as I am done with this I am going to head to the pool on bicycle with the girls.  

Anyone can live this life.  Just be sure to live for the process, rather than the product. 

And as always, 

Parent with passion, purpose, and integrity,

Grace

Tickle Me Tuesday: The Joy of Parenting…Wisdom from Grace

June 10, 2008 at 8:45 am | Posted in attitudes, children, Families, Family Time, GEM Parenting Secrets, moms, Mothers, parents, relationships, Self Esteem | Leave a comment
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The Joy of Parenting

When you hear these words, is the first thought that comes to your mind the Joy of Cooking?  Well, if it wasn’t now, it is.  There are some significant similarities and some vast differences between cooking and parenting.

The two major differences between parenting and cooking are:

  • If you burn the meal you can always make another one.
  • If you screw up the kids, you have to figure out how to unscrew up the kids.  You can’t just get a new set.
  • Although a cookbook can have thousands of recipes in it, if you truly follow the instructions exactly, there is little room for failure of the one dish you are making.
  • Not so with kids.  If you do get a recipe, it can be completely useless for your kid.  And can even backfire.  With kids you need to take in the information that is given you and adjust for your entire family.

And these differences make you, the parent, anxious, fearful, confused and overwhelmed.  When you get stuck in these emotions with your parenting, things begin to go wrong. 

The joy of parenting seems to be non-existent for you.  And in fact it is.  Oh, you may have a few glimmers and fleeting moments of that joy.  And you can really see it in other parents and kids.  But where is it for you?  Why can’t you just get the book and figure out the recipe?  Obviously people have been raising kids forever.  So why is it so hard for you to find and actually live fulltime with the joy of parenting?

Your answer is where you are looking for it.  How do you think it will come to you?  I am not going to say simply look in your heart and you will find the answers.  You already have done that.  Or just let it come to you.  You have probably tried that as well.  And besides, if that were all it took, then there would be none of the issues that you have!

No my dear, it takes much more than that simple inward glance or waiting till it gets to you to have joy in your parenting. 

If you are missing the joy of parenting, you need to purposefully bring joy to your parenting.  But how do you bring joy to your parenting and where is this illusive joy hiding in the first place?

Now is the part where the joy of cooking and the joy of parenting come together. 

By following the recipe in the cookbook, you can have one pretty good dish.  By following this recipe of parenting you can have one aspect of the joy of parenting. 

When you make one great dish, you are inspired to make another one.  As you continue to make recipes you become more excited and interested in cooking.  And when one flops, no big deal.  Just make another one. 

With parenting it really is the same.  When you find one way to have joy in your parenting, you become excited.  You are confident.  You create more and more ways to have joy in your parenting.  And if one way flops to bring joy, it is not the whole parenting that has flopped.  It is not your kids that have flopped.  And in many cases the flop is so funny that there is still some joy in the humor of it.

Here is what you want to know – How to get that first bit of joy into your parenting; opening the door so that you can have the excitement and confidence to gain more and more joy in your parenting.  

Start with using respect for your children and respect for your parenting.  With mutual respect you are no longer looking for something on the outside or hoping it will just appear.  This is purposeful.  When you use a recipe you do things in a purposeful way.

Here are four things to do to be respectful of your children.

1.  Ask them a question that is specific. 

  • “Did you jump rope with Sally today?”
  • “Where you able to answer most of the questions on your math test?” 
  • “How did you skin your knee?”

2.  When your child answers, you look them in the eye.  Be listening only to them.  Multitasking masks the joy of parenting.

3.  When your child comes to you and wants your attention, either give it to them fully or let them know when you will be available.  Then you must set your timer and be available when you say you will be.  It is no different than you wanting them to go to bed, come to dinner, or get ready for school. 

4.  Stop always multitasking when you are with your kids.  Make real commitments to do one simple thing with your children each day.  It can be as simple as talk to them for a conversation without TV, computer, cooking, homework, or anything else going on.

I know this may be hard- you are so trained in multitasking and your children are so accustomed to you being involved in at least two things at any given moment that you both find this awkward.  That’s OK.  The first time you use a recipe book it is awkward.  Just have a simple and complete conversation. 

When you follow this simple recipe for respect to your children, you will automatically gain respect in one aspect of your parenting. 

You will see that using respect brings joy to parenting.  It takes away the tension, fear and anxieties.  You are confident.  Your family has high self-esteem.  In a nutshell, respect will bring joy to your parenting.

Grace E. Mauzy, M.A.
Founder of GEM Parenting
www.GEMParenting.com

Grace E. Mauzy, MA works with overwhelmed, stressed parents having difficulty comfortably cope with parenting. Parents learn positive intervention utilizing strategies and tactics to develop high self-esteem in children. Grace is the founder of GEM Parenting – an online community dedicated to parenting with passion, purpose, and integrity. (GEMParenting.com) Through Grace’s professional and personal life experiences, she has a unique ability to understand and empower parents to implement new parenting styles, allowing them to challenge themselves to break free of their destructive behaviors and attitudes.  And raise their children with confidence, peace, and harmony.  To learn more about her powerful speaking, coaching, and workshops, or to receive Grace’s motivating audio course “The 7 Deadly Mistakes Parents Make That Create Spoiled Brats – And How You Can Avoid Them!” visit http://www.7deadlymistakesparentsmake.com or visit http://www.GEMParenting.com.

Creative Crayon Club: Activities for You and Your Teen!

May 17, 2008 at 6:24 am | Posted in 1, attitudes, children, Creative Crayon Club, dads, Families, Family Time, Fun Activities, GEM Parenting Secrets, How To, moms, Mothers, parents, peer pressure, Self Esteem, siblings, teenagers, teens, Tweens | Leave a comment
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Teenage Nature Space

 

 What you need:

  • A sacred or special place or path in nature, close to where you live.
  • Paper, pens, paint, a camera, musical instruments, or a local tracking guide.
  • You and your teen.

What you do:

  • Find your special spot that you and your teen can call sacred in a quiet and natural environment near your house.
  • Talk to your teen about a medium of art and exploration in which he/she likes to express his or herself. If it’s poetry, you each write a poem, write a story, paint a picture, take some pictures of nature, write a song. If your child is more physically active, make up a dance or a series of movements that express how you feel, or pick up a local tracking guide and map all the tracks along your sacred path.  Whatever it is, make sure you and your teen are creatively expressing your passion about your experience in nature.
  • Then you get to share your beautiful artistic creation. You will certainly bond over the act of this authentic experience and the vulnerability of sharing it all!

 

 

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Special Outing

 

What you need:

  • Your local newspaper or art guide.
  • Possibly some event tickets.
  • Your teen and maybe their close friends.

What you do:

  • Find a form of art that you and your teen enjoy and take them to a local concert, poetry reading, art gallery, book signing, play, dance performance, etc.

As teenagers are growing up and asserting their autonomy, one way they show their independence is by identifying with various types of artistic expression. It is nice to encourage their passions and interests in these artists to grow maturely by giving them a very special surprise or formally presenting some tickets to them, or making the event feel very special in some way. After the event, go out to ice cream and sit down to talk about the event.

Listen to your children compassionately and take them seriously because this may be a major way they express themselves.

If your child often goes to this type of event with friends, bring them along! Try to make it as authentic, meaningful, and mature an experience as possible.

These activities are straight from my own family- the kids. Whatever you do with your teens be sure to let them understand and know in their soul that you love and cherish them. Mistakes happen, then they pass. Your love is permanent.

 

 

Love your GEM teen!

 

 

 

Grace E. Mauzy, MA works with overwhelmed, stressed parents having difficulty comfortably cope with parenting. Parents learn positive intervention utilizing strategies and tactics to develop high self-esteem in children. Grace is the founder of GEM Parenting – an online community dedicated to parenting with passion, purpose, and integrity. (GEMParenting.com) Through Grace’s professional and personal life experiences, she has a unique ability to understand and empower parents to implement new parenting styles, allowing them to challenge themselves to break free of their destructive behaviors and attitudes. And raise their children with confidence, peace, and harmony. To learn more about her powerful speaking, coaching, and workshops, or to receive Grace’s motivating audio course “The 7 Deadly Mistakes Parents Make That Create Spoiled Brats – And How You Can Avoid Them!” visit http://www.7deadlymistakesparentsmake.com or visit http://www.GEMParenting.com

 

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