How do Serenity, Acceptance, Courage, Wisdom and Baseball Empower Your Parenting?

July 11, 2008 at 12:49 pm | Posted in children, dads, Families, moms, Mothers, parents, Self Esteem | Leave a comment
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How do Serenity, Acceptance, Courage, Wisdom and Baseball Empower Your Parenting?


This is the last day of talking about the powerful Serenity Prayer.  If you are just joining today, please check back to Monday to read everything.  You know that when something has been around for a while it lasts because there is truth in it.  That’s the way it is with the Serenity Prayer.

 

Today we are going to talk about how the last line, “and the wisdom to know the difference.”

First you gained serenity.  This freed you to accept that you are a wonderful parent with little or no control.  Bu t with this freedom you gained the opportunity to have the courage to change what you can.  That is you. 

 

It is you who you have control over.  What you have the most control over is your attitude and your actions.

 

Today you get to have wisdom.  This is an integral part of being a positive parent.  With wisdom you let go of the daily grind.  You reverse the pull of time.  You use a new way of thinking, a new power to bring love and peace to your home.

 

Picture this in your mind-

The wise one-

Doing what they always do-

They are peaceful, tranquil,

Restful, and pleased with their surroundings.-

 

Now give them a cell phone,

Ipod, and appointments.

 

What happened to the wise one?

Did his or her hair stand on end?

What happened to the wise one’s body?

In my case it has slumped, and seems very rigid. 

 

Peace, tranquility, rest, and pleasure with surroundings are all gone.

The wise one does not exist in our minds with all our modern “conveniences.”

 

Now I use all those things.  I am communicating with the web right now.  But to be able to have wisdom and wireless life, I must be wise.  I keep my serenity.  I accept what I can’t change.  And I have the courage to do what is right for me- I am not owned by my web presence. 

 

For you as a parent, keep your wisdom.  Let the image you have of the wise one be yourself as you are right now. 

A wise person does not have all the answers.  But is willing to find them or let go of the need to find answers. 

A wise person does not control.  Life flows through and around them.  They give and receive freely.

 

I am going to put the Serenity Prayer together with baseball so you can understand how you can bring this power energy to your parenting. 

First you need to step up to the plate.  A baseball player will do certain things to get focused, to get other clutter out of his mind, to be serene.

Second, you need to decide to what to do.  With baseball there are two things that the batter does-they swing or they decide to not swing.  This is acceptance of what comes.  The baseball player must accept he can’t pick his pitch.

Third, when you swing you have to know that you are going to hit that ball right out of the ballpark.  Or you know you will bunt the ball.  Or you know you will not swing at all.  As a parent take courage in your decisions.  It is when you waffle that you strike out.

Fourth, no matter what you do there will be judgments, both good and bad.  There are two teams watching, lots of fans will glad and others will be down right mad.  But the ball player is wise to know this play is over.  He must instantly start on the next play- run, dodge, or sit down till the next up.

You see how this prayer can give you such strength to be the parent you are meant to be?

Let yourself have serenity, acceptance, courage, and wisdom as a parent.  As always I am here to help you on this journey. 

The best place to start is by putting in your comment here.  If you would prefer to have a private message then send it to grace @ GEMParenting.com

 

I wish you a weekend filled with love and peace.

Parent with passion, purpose, and integrity.

 

Grace

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Do You Have Courage To Stop Your Parenting Worries?

July 10, 2008 at 7:36 am | Posted in children, dads, Families, moms, Mothers, parents, Self Esteem | Leave a comment
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Do You Have Courage Stop Your Parenting Worries?

Because you have put serenity and acceptance into your life, you now have the ability to add courage.  In the Serenity Prayer this is the “courage to change the things I can.” 

It makes perfect sense.  What do you need courage for except to change things that you can?  But that puts you back in that whole space of anxiety doesn’t it?  What can you change and how can you change it?  How can you make everything work out right?  You are back with all the overwhelming choices you had before.

You are now saying, “Grace, couldn’t we have just stayed with the serenity and acceptance part?”

I wish we could have, but parenting just isn’t like that.  Parenting has hills to climb, views to see, hills to go down, and valleys to visit.

You can look at each part of this journey as a hard and arduous.  The climb can be so difficult you are spent and huffing and puffing the whole way, you have no energy to notice the view.  Or you may have brought clouds with you and can’t find anything to see anyway.  You may be frightened going down.  And you may think of the valley as gloomy.

When you put serenity with acceptance that you cannot change some things, you give yourself the courage to change what you can. 

Parenting is a journey and there is nothing you can do about it!  But you can change how you parent and your attitude about your children.  You can change your values and morals. 

You can take a beautiful hike up the hill, and even if there are clouds at the top, you can always find something magnificent at the top.  It may be so small you have to really stop and wait for your eyes to adjust, but you can and will find wonder every step of the way.  On the way down you can completely change your attitude that down is equivalent to bad.  Why not think of down as a kid?  They love to roll down, or slide down in the winter.  Or on a trail they skip and jump.  And rather than think the valley is a place of gloom and despair, regard it as your sanctity.  The valley is your resting and refueling place.

 

When I go for hikes with my children, we go on the hike knowing there will parts that are hard.  On the way up we rest and have a bit of a snack about every hour-and I have been known to stop every twenty steps when its too difficult.  We do things to entertain ourselves.  We play rocks and roots.  We can only step on rocks and roots.  And the weather in the mountains can and does change, with our view being obliterated at times when we get to the top.  When this happens we rest, and my kids still find wonder and joy at being on the top.  The view is not the only thing up there for them.  The hike down is always filled with songs and more rocks and roots.  Often we are exhausted, holding hands and supporting each other.  But when we get to the bottom we are always glad to have gone on the journey.

Each and every part of the journey of parenting can be that way for you.  You can take the courage to bring strength, vitality, and passion to your parenting.

And the funny thing is, it is only you who can bring your courage to parenting.  Without your courage to change, you have to go on the same way you are now.

 

Take your courage today.  Know you have every right and privilege to be courageous.  If you have been courageous, please take a moment to give courage to others and write a comment.

Can you actually bring serenity to your parenting?

July 8, 2008 at 9:39 am | Posted in 1, children, dads, Families, moms, Mothers, parents, Self Esteem | Leave a comment
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Lets look at the first line of the Serenity Prayer and how it relates to your parenting.  

God grant me the serenity

 First, what you need to focus on is asking for serenity.  At this point in time you are so overwhelmed and anxious about your parenting and how your kids are going to turn out that you really feel that you couldn’t possibly have any serenity.  I know I have had times in my own life where I thought this was some prayer just for alcoholics. 

 But let me assure you.  When you take this part of the prayer and give yourself serenity, even for a moment at a time, your anxieties will diminish.  When you give yourself serenity you cannot have anxiety at the same time.  They simply do not go together. 

 I believe that you give yourself serenity as soon as you ask for it with knowledge, conviction, and deep soul belief that you will receive serenity.  This is something that you give yourself.  As soon as you own and accept that you are truly able to have serenity you will have serenity. 

 Serenity does not mean your problems will vanish.  It does not mean your children will miraculously be perfect.  It means your anxieties will vanish.  It means you will relieve your overwhelm.

 When you get rid of anxiety and overwhelm you can be part of your children’s life.  You can enjoy what you are doing right now.  The crazy world will be on the outside, but you and your family will be held together with a new deep love that overpowers the need to prove yourself to anyone.

 You will be free to explore the world with peace and love as your guide.

 For this day I want you to stay true to asking for and being granted serenity.

 Each and every time you have anxiety or overwhelm, say with all you heart, “God grant me the serenity.”

 Please share with others how this small, short, quick phrase helps your anxieties and overwhelm vanish.

 For this day and everyday forward I wish you parenting with serenity.

Grace

Tickle Me Tuesday: The Joy of Parenting…Wisdom from Grace

June 10, 2008 at 8:45 am | Posted in attitudes, children, Families, Family Time, GEM Parenting Secrets, moms, Mothers, parents, relationships, Self Esteem | Leave a comment
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The Joy of Parenting

When you hear these words, is the first thought that comes to your mind the Joy of Cooking?  Well, if it wasn’t now, it is.  There are some significant similarities and some vast differences between cooking and parenting.

The two major differences between parenting and cooking are:

  • If you burn the meal you can always make another one.
  • If you screw up the kids, you have to figure out how to unscrew up the kids.  You can’t just get a new set.
  • Although a cookbook can have thousands of recipes in it, if you truly follow the instructions exactly, there is little room for failure of the one dish you are making.
  • Not so with kids.  If you do get a recipe, it can be completely useless for your kid.  And can even backfire.  With kids you need to take in the information that is given you and adjust for your entire family.

And these differences make you, the parent, anxious, fearful, confused and overwhelmed.  When you get stuck in these emotions with your parenting, things begin to go wrong. 

The joy of parenting seems to be non-existent for you.  And in fact it is.  Oh, you may have a few glimmers and fleeting moments of that joy.  And you can really see it in other parents and kids.  But where is it for you?  Why can’t you just get the book and figure out the recipe?  Obviously people have been raising kids forever.  So why is it so hard for you to find and actually live fulltime with the joy of parenting?

Your answer is where you are looking for it.  How do you think it will come to you?  I am not going to say simply look in your heart and you will find the answers.  You already have done that.  Or just let it come to you.  You have probably tried that as well.  And besides, if that were all it took, then there would be none of the issues that you have!

No my dear, it takes much more than that simple inward glance or waiting till it gets to you to have joy in your parenting. 

If you are missing the joy of parenting, you need to purposefully bring joy to your parenting.  But how do you bring joy to your parenting and where is this illusive joy hiding in the first place?

Now is the part where the joy of cooking and the joy of parenting come together. 

By following the recipe in the cookbook, you can have one pretty good dish.  By following this recipe of parenting you can have one aspect of the joy of parenting. 

When you make one great dish, you are inspired to make another one.  As you continue to make recipes you become more excited and interested in cooking.  And when one flops, no big deal.  Just make another one. 

With parenting it really is the same.  When you find one way to have joy in your parenting, you become excited.  You are confident.  You create more and more ways to have joy in your parenting.  And if one way flops to bring joy, it is not the whole parenting that has flopped.  It is not your kids that have flopped.  And in many cases the flop is so funny that there is still some joy in the humor of it.

Here is what you want to know – How to get that first bit of joy into your parenting; opening the door so that you can have the excitement and confidence to gain more and more joy in your parenting.  

Start with using respect for your children and respect for your parenting.  With mutual respect you are no longer looking for something on the outside or hoping it will just appear.  This is purposeful.  When you use a recipe you do things in a purposeful way.

Here are four things to do to be respectful of your children.

1.  Ask them a question that is specific. 

  • “Did you jump rope with Sally today?”
  • “Where you able to answer most of the questions on your math test?” 
  • “How did you skin your knee?”

2.  When your child answers, you look them in the eye.  Be listening only to them.  Multitasking masks the joy of parenting.

3.  When your child comes to you and wants your attention, either give it to them fully or let them know when you will be available.  Then you must set your timer and be available when you say you will be.  It is no different than you wanting them to go to bed, come to dinner, or get ready for school. 

4.  Stop always multitasking when you are with your kids.  Make real commitments to do one simple thing with your children each day.  It can be as simple as talk to them for a conversation without TV, computer, cooking, homework, or anything else going on.

I know this may be hard- you are so trained in multitasking and your children are so accustomed to you being involved in at least two things at any given moment that you both find this awkward.  That’s OK.  The first time you use a recipe book it is awkward.  Just have a simple and complete conversation. 

When you follow this simple recipe for respect to your children, you will automatically gain respect in one aspect of your parenting. 

You will see that using respect brings joy to parenting.  It takes away the tension, fear and anxieties.  You are confident.  Your family has high self-esteem.  In a nutshell, respect will bring joy to your parenting.

Grace E. Mauzy, M.A.
Founder of GEM Parenting
www.GEMParenting.com

Grace E. Mauzy, MA works with overwhelmed, stressed parents having difficulty comfortably cope with parenting. Parents learn positive intervention utilizing strategies and tactics to develop high self-esteem in children. Grace is the founder of GEM Parenting – an online community dedicated to parenting with passion, purpose, and integrity. (GEMParenting.com) Through Grace’s professional and personal life experiences, she has a unique ability to understand and empower parents to implement new parenting styles, allowing them to challenge themselves to break free of their destructive behaviors and attitudes.  And raise their children with confidence, peace, and harmony.  To learn more about her powerful speaking, coaching, and workshops, or to receive Grace’s motivating audio course “The 7 Deadly Mistakes Parents Make That Create Spoiled Brats – And How You Can Avoid Them!” visit http://www.7deadlymistakesparentsmake.com or visit http://www.GEMParenting.com.

Follow-up Friday: Teens and Lying

May 29, 2008 at 10:53 pm | Posted in attitudes, children, dads, Families, Family Time, Focused Fridays, GEM Parenting Secrets, How To, lying, moms, Mothers, parents, peer pressure, relationships, respect, responsibilities, Self Esteem, teenagers, teens, Tweens | Leave a comment
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Here are some questions that parents, just like you, have sent in to be answered.  Listen to Grace’s BlogTalkRadio show to get the answers to these questions and others on how to increase your child’s self-esteem to promote truth and honesty.  We look forward to having you join us!

Set Your Calendar

Fridays @ 12:30p.m. EST

~ Interactive Chat Room ~

~ Call-In Number
(646) 478-4032
To Ask Questions~

~ Invite Your Friends ~

[1] I have a teen who comes home late at night.  I am sure he is drinking.  But when I ask him, he just says of course not.  Is there some way I can ask him and get the truth?  Or should I treat him like I know he is drinking?

 

[2] When I ask my teen how school is going she says fine.   But I am sure that she is doing poorly in her classes.  How can I approach her and not turn her off?  I want to help her but just don’t know how to talk to her any more.

 

[3] I am a step mother to a 16 year old girl.  She has a flexible schedule between our house and her mother’s house.  Lately she tells her father and me she will be at her mother’s and at the same time tells her mother she is at our house.  So she is lying to both of us and doing things that none of us approve of.  How can we get the truth from her about where she is going?

 

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