Change This Afternoon w/out Stress

November 11, 2008 at 3:37 pm | Posted in dads, Families, moms, Mothers, parents, Self Esteem | Leave a comment
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Today I spent a great deal of the day picking up the mess.  As you know I have been incredibly busy the past few weeks.  So there was plenty of mess today.

 

But rather than looking at this as an over whelming task, as a thing that was some sort of growing monster I had no control over, I simply put everything I wanted in one pile in the floor.  Threw away the rest.  Then I sorted and put away.  Finally I vacuumed.  And I was done. 

 

It was a task.  It had to be done.  And it would have been easy to have felt it was just too much to get through.  Procrastination would have been simple.  So why did I do this?

 

What happened that allowed me to get through this without stress, overwhelm and anxiety?

 

I did it.  I did not think about it.  I did not analyze it.  And I did not let all the other “fun” things get in the way.

 

And now I get to look at my nice clean house, and it only took me a couple of hours.

 

So this afternoon find a moment to stop procrastinating.  It might be in your decluttering, it might be in your making phone calls, doing research, or changing your parenting.

 

What ever it is make a change.  Don’t think.  Throw your anxieties in the trash.  Put your overwhelm down the garbage disposal. 

 

Let others know what you change you made today.  Leave your comments

 

And no matter what parent with passion, purpose, and integrity.

 

Grace

 

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Great Weekend Celebrating 80 years-

November 10, 2008 at 11:04 am | Posted in dads, Families, moms, Mothers, parents, Self Esteem | Leave a comment
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Happy Motivational Monday,

 

It’s been one terrific week for me.  The first thing I want to do is thank everyone who sent a birthday wish to my mother.  She was so honored by your responses.

 

Second I want to share what a week it has been. 

 

On Monday my 16 yo started her winter training.  This means she had to be in a number of places over the course of the day, but we were never quite sure where and when.

And the regular stuff of schooling my other girls, my work, and dance and hockey in the afternoon.

 

Tuesday brought on all of the Monday stuff and the addition of my eldest flying in from CA.  The airport is a 3+hr roundtrip.  Of course there was the election and results, which we all stayed up till 1 am to watch.

 

On Wednesday we had all that I have said going on + my eldest applying for jobs in NH.  (Which means she is serious about coming home to live.)

 

And during all this time I was making costumes for the relatives who were not so creative or handy or had enough time.  (That was the big laugh because I certainly don’t ever have time).  And getting messages from my sister about what we still needed to do for the party once we got to Plymouth, Mass.

 

Then came Thursday- First thing we (all of us) were off to the physical therapist to be sure my back would be OK for the weekend.  And as we went the car decided to go no faster than 45 mph.  I knew the car was a bit off.  I have gone 160,000 in it.  So after physical therapy we took it to the shop.  And had to find a ride home- 10 miles. 

 

In the afternoon it was confirmed the transmission was blown.  So added to everything was renting a vehicle. 

 

We rented a pick up.  My eldest was offered 4 positions in her field.  Everyone got to their programs and training.  My 16 yo got packed for her training out west.  Just the costumes didn’t get done.  And I was WAY over stressed.

 

Friday I worked on the costumes, while my 12 yo organized and packed the truck- we not only had our party stuff, weekend stuff, but both my eldest daughter’s traveling stuff, and we had my mother’s 80 years worth of pictures.  The pictures of course got to be in the cab.  But it was just ready to rain.  So the stress didn’t slide off as we went south.  After 2 hrs the rain came.  Not too bad, but enough to have to stop and get the 2 backpacks in the cab.  Now everyone but me had their knees in their ears to travel.  But we only had one more hr to go.

 

And when we got there everything was wonderful.  We had the pre-party at the hotel, where we all ate, took pictures of costumes, and talked, talked, talked. 

 

The real party was at the Plimouth Plantation itself.  My family went a little early.  We got the pictures set up; the tables decorated, and were ready when everyone arrived. 

 

After the dinner we had the skits and songs.  Lots of laughter, lots of memories, and lots of love.

 

And my mother blew out ALL 80 candles in one breath!  Yes she is very strong.

 

Saturday we toured the plantation, had lunch together and went on board the Mayflower II.  After all that I had to take my 16 yo to Boston airport to go out west for training.  I got back in time to join my mother, her 2 daughters (me being one of them), her 2 son-in-laws and all her five grandchildren went out to eat- just her immediate family. 

 

After dinner the 2 eldest grandchildren and my sister and brother-in-law went out dancing, while the rest of us went back to the hotel.

 

Sunday I had to take my eldest to the airport, and I drove back to NH with my two youngest.  Guess what?  I went to sleep just as soon as we got home. 

 

This morning I am thrilled to be able to remind you that you are just as amazing as my mother is.  You see, in her 80 years everything was not all roses.  She had so many downs you might think that she would have lost heart.  But she knew better.  Each time she fell off her horse, she jumped on another one.  She learned each time how to ride just a bit better, how to let go when necessary, but how to hold on to what was necessary.  Her life was a prime candidate for depression, remorse, whining, and complaining.  Boy, could she have been “the victim.”   She made the choice every time. 

 

So if you are off your horse today, out of sorts, not quite in gear, go get another horse.  Walk a while if you need to.  Keep your head up and love each of your children.  Someday they will be grown up and on their own.  

 

Choose this day so when you are 80, you and your family will rejoice and celebrate.

 

Take your time to parent with Passion, Purpose, and Integrity today,

 

Grace

Costumes at 80

November 6, 2008 at 7:09 am | Posted in Families, Self Esteem | 5 Comments
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Tomorrow we celebrate my mother’s 80th birthday.  We are going to Plymouth Plantation in Mass.  And we are going to wear period costumes.  So here’s the thing.  She is turning 80.  She can still decide to have fun, be creative, and step out of the norm.

When she first sent out the invitations there were plenty of people who had negative reactions.  Not to the party of course, but the abnormality of wearing costumes and even to going to Plymouth Plantation.  (Most people can drive there and those that have to fly would have to fly to where ever the party was.  And my mother’s house is not big enough to hold many people, so they would still have to stay in a hotel.)

My mom just kept telling everyone more or less the same thing.  “This is my 80th birthday party.  I plan to have lots of fun.  I hope you will as well.”  

This simple phrase allowed her to tell every one that she was comfortable with her plan; that she did not need their approval to go forward with her plan.  And as you can imagine everyone who is able to come is coming, in costume, and very excited about getting together. 

The point is, be confident with your ideas, your interests, your passions.  Even if you get disapproval from others, stay true to yourself.  The only way you can have high self-esteem is to be comfortable with your self.  Don’t rely on others opinions of you mold you.

And here comes a huge problem for parents.  You must by default mold your children’s behaviors.  You cannot just let them run wild.  So how do you mold your children and keep them having a high self-esteem?  The most important defense against destryong your children’s self esteem is positive intervention.

Positive intervention is staying true to your morals and values.  Look at how a situation may develop. Have some ways of averting situations.  Tell your children that you are helping them to understand the best paths for them.

As you go through the process of raising your children, believe that you and they are a gift of life.  Know this in your heart.  Hold it true.

And parent with Passion, Purpose, and Integrity

Grace

Three confusions about Halloween

October 31, 2008 at 9:41 am | Posted in dads, Families, moms, Mothers, parents, Self Esteem | Leave a comment
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Happy Halloween

 

There are three topics that get confused with Halloween. 

 

  1. Candy consumption and weight gain
  2. Safety
  3. The purpose of Halloween right now

 

When you head out tonight if you start with the understanding that Halloween is for getting candy, eating it, and starting on the annual weight gain problem you are going to do just that. 

 

If you head out tonight thinking that there are lurking dangers around each corner, again you will find some kind of danger.

 

And if you think that Halloween has any connection to very past beliefs of satanic forces and ideas being spread you will find these.

 

Rather than heading out with all these fear-routed issues, look to the positive.  This is a great place to begin your new thought pattern.  Finding you new zone as a parent takes time and skill.  So start with something that is not your biggest issue.  Try out what you are learning here at GEM Parenting and elsewhere on smaller issues at first.

 

Just as when your children have started to walk they have prep activities.  Nothing that we actually do with them, but they crawl, slide, or scuttle for a while.  They attempt new things, standing for instance.  Then they try the first few steps.  Holding on usually.  You know how it goes.  And of course they fall.  But that never stops them.

 

As with your new parenting patterns and practices you need to step out slowly, try little things at first and know you will fall.  But keep trying.  Keep reading these entries and any others that help you along the way.

 

Now back to tonight-

 

With candy consumption and weight gain, leave on a full stomach of a healthy meal.  Then eat a candy, you included, in 20 minutes.  Again in 20 minutes, then have a snack of healthy stuff- cut up apples, PB&J sandwich quarters.  Then back to the candy in 20 minutes routine.  Tell your kids you want to see how much they get and if they eat it all while out then they can’t see.

 

Another thing we do is give a bunch of candy to the children’s ward of the hospital for the kids who couldn’t go out.  This helps with not eating as much.

 

Of course you need to think in terns of safety.  But if you think in terms of fear, that is what you will be fearful.  And you will teach this to your kids.  Teach safety, not fear.  This goes a long with teaching about self-esteem and contentment.

And if you are concerned with satanic issues and Halloween, then I suggest you look elsewhere.  Halloween has changed in the past few hundred years.  It is time for delight, joy and creativity.  Children are encouraged and allowed to be something unique and special.  These are corner stones to high self-esteem.

 

With this I am getting ready to curl my daughter’s hair and put on some goofy costume to begin the Halloween activities. 

 

Have a Happy Halloween and

Parent with Passion, Purpose and Integrity,

 

Grace

Went to see Olympic Gymnastic Tour Last Night

October 30, 2008 at 8:32 am | Posted in children, dads, Families, moms, Mothers, parents, Self Esteem | Leave a comment
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Last night my family went to see the Olympic Gymnast tour.  It was fantastic.  Those kids were out there having a ball.  The spectators worshiped them.  And those athletes gave us such a show.  They were able to decide and accomplish a goal within only their childhoods.   Why is that?

 

Did they just have such amazing talent that they were able to think and believe and therefore be in the Olympics?  Of course not.   I do believe in prayer and the law of attraction.  But in either case you MUST open the door and walk through. 

 

That’s what those kids and their parents and their coaches did.  They did not simply think about a dream.  They put it in action.  And it was done as a group program.  The athletes alone did not do it.  We all know that their parents were totally committed to the dream.  And these athletes had coaches.  The coaches worked with their athletes on so many levels.  Of course they worked on the actual physical performance of their athletes, but they added in nutrition, emotional and psychological aspects, developmental stages, and a sundry of other aspects of taking a child and helping them become and amazing athlete.

 

And these kids knew instinctively that they had to have coaches.  The coaches would sometimes give them grueling workouts, other times hug them after the fall, and of course celebrate the joys of success.  Having coaches was a natural part of the program.

As a matter of fact without coaches there wouldn’t be a program and there wouldn’t be action of a dream.

 

Think about your dream as a parent.  Put it in action today. 

 

************************************************************************

 

Next Monday Donna L. Johnson and I will be hosting

Your Dreams and Dumps

A teleseminar on getting out your woes of parenting and being a woman,

Yet having the intention of living your dreams.

 

This is a program set up for you at no cost.

Just a phone call away.

 

************************************************************************

Halloween is tomorrow

 

Get into the fun with your kids.  If you trick or treat get on a costume, your kids will always love it.  It is silly, fun and on their level.

 

If you do not trick or treat be mindful that your children will feel left out.  Give them something special to do.  Use the time for togetherness with your family.  Be sure to explain your family values and morals as to why you don’t trick or treat in terms of the good to your family, not the wrong of others.

 

As for my family, we will be out and about trick or treating.

It is one of our favorite things to do.

 

Put your dream in action

And parent with

Passion, Purpose, and Integrity

 

Grace

Be sure to put your comments here.

I will comment back

Swing Your Arms And Get Happy

October 29, 2008 at 7:12 am | Posted in children, dads, Families, moms, Mothers, parents, Self Esteem | 4 Comments
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If you are one of the 100 or so people to stop by today, please leave your comment as to why you came and what you want.

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Feature Article

Swing Your Arms and Get Happy

 

As a parent we get so stuck in our routine, our anxiety, our super frustration, it is imperative to bust out of it.  Sometimes you need some new thinking, sometimes you need some new ways of raising your children.  Sometimes you need to be different.

 

Today I am going to have you be different, but just barely.  This won’t really wake up your foot.  (See Yesterday’s entry)  But it will have an effect on you.

 

You have heard plenty of times to breath slowly and deeply, have a yoga breath.  You have heard about meditating.  You have heard about walking.  And you can do all of these to help your moods and tension.

 

Today, I am adding swing your arms.   You can stand still.  You can walk.  You can jump.  You can run.  Guess what?  You can even sit.

 

When you swing your arms you will activate some endorphins.  These are the happy hormones.  And happy hormones push tension, anxiety, and frustration out the door.

 

How should you swing your arms?  Well, you can swing them from hanging down, across at shoulder level, and you can do circles.  The important thing is to do large sweeping motions.  Not too fast, not short and jerky. 

 

The most important thing is to really get into it.  Obviously, don’t swing so hard you hurt yourself.  But have energy and spunk in it.

 

And go ahead and get silly.  You can play games with your kids (or just play them in your head).  You can swim the ocean of life.  Whack all the jungle out of the way.  Fly like your favorite bird. Make whirl winds of energy (The energy can either be your frustrations or tensions escaping, or excited free energy.)

 

There are times when the deep breath and meditation are perfect.  But there are times when we must move.  As a parent you need to do things to be the best you can be and releasing tension is one great thing you can do.

 

When you have endorphins floating around rather than negative hormones you brain can actually think more clearly.  You body uses less energy.  You won’t feel as tired.  And strangely, when you are less stressed your body can let go of the extra weight it is saving for that perpetual emergency you are creating with your tension.

 

So today swing your arms.  Do it as much as you can.  And put in a silly twist -if you can.

 

You will be such a better parent and person with this small little life change.

 

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I want to thank those of you who have taken the effort to refer GEM Parenting to your friends.  And remember if you get 5 friends to sign up for the Pearl Membership I will have a teleclass for you, at no cast.

 

But I am wondering if anyone has even tried to get a podcast, because not one has been purchased.  Are they just totally not interesting to you?  Is six dollars truly too expensive?  If I am going to be able to continue with GEM Parenting I need your support.  I want to give.  Let tell you, I really do.  But living in our culture costs money.  And I simply have to make some.

 

If what I have to offer isn’t appealing for money I will have ot go do something else,  This means of cours my time will spent at that, not helping you.

 

So if you are at all interested in having support from GEM Parenting I need your support now.  Please go and purchase a podcast.

http://www.GEMParenting.com/store.htm

 

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On the opposite side,  if you have the intention to change your parenting, and want to talk, dump your frustration, be anonymous, join Donna L. Johnson and me.  We are going to have a teleconference this Monday at 12 noon EST, 11CST, 10 MCT and 9 PST.  We will talk about your issues, your dilemmas, your problems as a parent, a mom, a woman.

 

This is an open discussion for you.  We will be there to support and guide you.  We will help you bring your spirit and soul into action.  We want to get your sprit and soul out of the box you have been storing them in.  It is a simple phone call for you.

 

It is back to my favorite way of doing things.  Helping you, guiding you and at no cost.

Phone details coming. 

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Sleeping Foot Disorder of Parenting

October 28, 2008 at 6:21 am | Posted in children, dads, Families, moms, Mothers, parents, Self Esteem | Leave a comment
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This is a simple problem that you have. 

  • You know what it is like to have a foot asleep. 
  • First you realize it is a sleep.
  • Second you try very hard to barely move it.  Maybe you can avoid the pain.
  • Third you moved it just too much and you have shooting pins and needles, you feel like the pain is more than you can stand.
  • But move it you must.  Your subconscious brain forces this to happen or the poor blood flow can cause permanent damage. 
  • Then in a moment that seems like forever of pain, you are fine. 
  • Your foot works just the way it should. 
  • All the anxiety and pain are gone.
  •  

 

This is the pattern that parents get into.  Only your subconscious brain isn’t quite so powerful.

You are a parent who is sleeping through your privileges and responsibilities as a parent.  You are just on the surface finding joy and wonder in parenting.

You are so scared to move.

When you do you are certain there will be shooting pains.

And you are right; growing pains are real, yet to grow you must move.

But with parenting you don’t have your subconscious brain forcing you to move.

And the tragedy here is you can raise your children while stuck in sleep.

The flow of energy can be severely diminished and your children will become adults.

But there will be long lasting, if not permanent, damage if you don’t shake yourself.

Yes, you have to actually get off your duff and move. 

 

You may have excruciating pain as you first move. 

The pain is the beginning of change, 

The change that opens the flow of energy.

 

But this new energy, just like with your foot, will be momentary.  It will dissipate.  It will diminish.  And you will be able to parent with real passion, purpose, and integrity.

You and your family will have the privilege to grow to have high self-esteem.  You will be more than simply satisfied with life.  You will cherish and flourish.  Your family will be that amazing family that everyone wonders how they can be so together.

 

I am sure you have heard of the Chinese noblewomen who had their feet bound in the past.  When they would have to have the bindings periodically replaced to put new ones on they cried in pain and begged to have the bindings replaced.  The flow of energy was too much for them to stand.  Yet, the binding made them incapable of standing.

 

Right now you are a bound parent.  You are living with your foot asleep.  And you not only ruin yourself by doing this, you take away from your children the most amazing gift there is.  You.

 

Wake up today.  Know there will be a pain.  Know that you and you family are worth getting past this pain.  If you don’t the best you can hope for is mediocrity in life, for you and your children.

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This week I am challenging you to wake up.  Do two things.  One is to tell your friends about GEMParenting.com.  You can easily do this by going to GEMParentng.com and clicking on the yellow box where it says “refer our site to a friend”

(If you have five friends sign up for the Pearl Membership I will host a teleclass just for you and your friends at no coat.)

The other is to get into action. Purchase a podcast while you are at GEMparenting. I mean really, they are just six dollars.  If you won’t do that then, you really just want to stay asleep. 

You must do something to get moving.  Your subconscious can’t do it.  You must do it with your will and your power.  Its called willpower.

Good Luck and parent with Passion, Purpose, and Integrity 

Grace

Wake up and love this day

October 27, 2008 at 10:04 am | Posted in children, dads, Families, moms, Mothers, parents, Self Esteem | 2 Comments
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Wow.  It’s motivational Monday again. I always love this day:  starting off and writing to you about how you can motivate yourself to be the best parent possible.  How you can truly parent with passion, purpose, and integrity.

 

I am motivating you to find the sleeping spot in your life. Give it a twitch. Wake up and love this day.

 

This week I am going to start off with two requests.  If you read last weeks Motivational Monday message you know I urged you to take the plunge.  Start changing your parenting.  And I suggested one way was to work with me.

 

Well, I had not one plunge taker.  Which would be fine, except last week my last client graduated.  This puts me in an awkward position.  I need to have GEM Parenting grow.  Even though I would dearly love to simply give everything I have to you for free, our culture doesn’t work that way.  I have bills to pay in relation to GEM Parenting.

 

So I am asking you to do two things for me, very low budget.

 

First I want each of you to tell one friend about GEM Parenting and the Pearl memebership.

As a matter of fact if you go overboard and have five friends sign up for the Pearl membership between Oct. 27 and Nov. 2  I will have a teleclass for you and your friends at no cost, complete with action guide and article.

 

Just send them the link to GEMParenitng.com and urge them to sign up in the yellow box.

Then send me a list of whom you sent emails to.

And if you are new you can count yourself in too.

 

The second request I have will cost $6.00.  I want each of you to go the GEM Parenting store and actually purchase one podcast.  With most podcasts you get an action guide and an article written in conjunction with podcast topic.  There are currently 24 podcasts, so I am sure there is one that can boost your parenting.  And they cost as much as a Starbucks visit. 

 Just to go GEMParenting.com/store.htm

 

If you can’t afford this, either you are truly poor or you don’t really want to try and change your parenting.  

 

If you want to change but $6 is honestly beyond your budget then shoot me an email and I will work something out for you.

 

With these two steps you will be helping both yourself and GEM Parenting.  As you know I am not a sales person.  I don’t ask for much from you. You can step up to the plate now and make this change for both of us.

 

And tomorrow I will be writing about The Sleeping Foot Disorder of Parenting.

 

Now, right now, send an email to at least one friend inviting them to GEM Parenting

and if you haven’t joined yet go ahead and join.

And then go directly to the GEM store and get your podcast.

 

Thanks and know the change you make is for both you and GEM Parenting.

 

As always Parent with Passion, Purpose, and Integrity,

 

Grace           

PS If you have comments about this letter I would love you to share them.

 

 

Are You Ready For the Parenting Plunge?

October 20, 2008 at 7:12 am | Posted in children, dads, Families, moms, Mothers, parents, Self Esteem | 2 Comments
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Happy Motivational Monday Grace,

Good Morning,
It is Motivational Monday.

Again already.
Have you taken any time last week to try loving your children?
Did you go into your bathroom even once to regroup?

Well, if you didn’t that’s OK, sort of.
Because here we are again at motivational Monday to start once more.

This week I have an idea. I have a graduation tomorrow. 
One of my clients is graduating.
She emailed me last spring. 
She was really struggling with self-acceptance.
It was affecting her parenting, her interactions with others,
Her self-esteem.
Basically her whole life.

She knew it was time for her to live her own life.
One without fear, stress, anxieties. 
She took the plunge.

She was desperate that her children did not grow up with
a mom who was just not her own best,
a mom who was suffering,
a mom who was unable to do the best for her children,
a mom who had low self-esteem.

She took the plunge.
She decided to change.
She emailed me for an appointment

And six months later she is graduating.
She has a new comfort zone,
She has a new way of self-acceptance.
She has her self-esteem.

For your motivation today I 
CHALLENGE you to take the plunge.

Do something this week
That will change who you are,
How you parent,
How you live for the rest of your life.

Are you ready? It just takes one email to get you started on 
Your journey.

Your journey to inner peace, 
Family pride,
And life changing self-esteem. 

Simply hit reply 
And take the plunge.

No matter what else you do today
parent with passion, purpose, and integrity.

Grace

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