Her Dad Was Able to Express His Feelings of Despair

September 19, 2011 at 11:01 am | Posted in ACL recovery, attitudes, dads, Move to Park City Utah, Self Esteem | Leave a comment
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Friday was much the same as Thursday, starting with physical therapy at 7 am. In the afternoon we went to another Dr in hopes that he would say there was some other alternative than surgery and six months of rephab with the same risk factor as before.

Jamie’s depression was severe when we left the second Dr. And I had had to ask for rides for Jeanee both to and from school. Man, I hated arriving in Park City and being so needy.

In the afternoon I really had to get away from Jamie for a little while. I had Jilly stay in the room with her- and I took Jeanee to ramps. I also called all my relatives again- giving them the update- which was still dismal.

The call with Jamie’s dad was still the toughest to do.

Giving the information was not so tough, but
“When can I call her?”
“I don’t know yet. She is acutely depressed and if you talk to her it could send her off the deep end right now.”
“I know she is depressed, but how would you feel if you couldn’t talk to her?”
“Terrible. There is no denying you feel terrible that she won’t talk to you right now.”
“I’m her father. I have a right to talk to her.”
“Yes you are her father and of course you have a right to talk to her. OR you can decide that as much as you hurt, you will respect her wishes and wait till she tells me to tell you that you can call her.”
“I’m going to call her today.”
“Of course you can. I will not tell you can’t call your own daughter, but I do think you may want to think about respecting her needs and wishes right now.
“I’ll think about it- Goodbye”

So of course he respected Jamie and waited till she was ready to talk to him, that was not till Sunday- two days later. I am sure that being the parent that has to wait is excruciatingly painful. Either way, being the parent of a child that is injured is tough. I am so grateful that her dad was able to express his feelings of despair to me and still be able to respect Jamie- Not easy to do for sure.

Motivational Monday: Too Much Stuff and Not Enough Responsibility

April 21, 2008 at 12:03 am | Posted in 1, children, dads, Families, moms, Mothers, parents, Self Esteem, siblings, toddlers, Tweens | Leave a comment
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It is a pleasure to have you join GEM Parenting For Motivational Monday

Ever wonder why your children can’t be responsible?  You find that no matter what you do they just seem to ignore responsibility?  Dr. Marilyn Heins has an idea about this, and I totally agree with her.  She thinks we have too much stuff and too much stuff is bringing your children away from the ability to be responsible.  Try for a short period of time (like an hour or afternoon) to be with your child and reduce the stuff interference.  Can’t figure out how to do it?

Join GEM Parenting Secrets this week to talk with Dr. Heins and discover her simple yet specific ideas of how and why too much stuff stops your child from being responsible


Tickle Me Tuesday

Dr. Heins has sent an article that we will share with you.  You can even download it an read at your leisure.

Wisdom Wednesday

I have to say, I am passionate about our society having too much stuff, especially our children.  I see we are bombarded with the media to buy, buy , buy.  We are taught to never be satisfied and the only way to have any form of satisfaction is to buy something else.  This mentality only creates and reinforces other dependent-esteem, which automatically reduces self-esteem.  I will have my article to share with you on this topic.  Get ready because I have some very strong opinions about this!



GEM Parenting Secrets Teleseminar

With Guest Speaker
Dr. Marilyn Heins

She is the founder of www.parentkidsright.com
and author of ParenTips for Effective, Enjoyable Parenting

Set Your Calendar for this
Live Teleseminar

Date: Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Time: 4:00 p.m. Eastern/1:00 p.m. Pacific

Dr. Marilyn Heins and I will discuss why and how too much stuff reduces your child’s ability to be responsible. What you can do to bring responsibility to your children without having to throw away everything you just spent thousands of dollars to acquire.

For only $6.00 you can join this teleseminar and find out the best ways to increase responsibility in your children, help them feel satisfied, and desire to be responsible. By having your children become responsible, you give both you and your children the courage and peace that comes with doing a job well done. And best of all, it will give you and your family the opportunity to develop high self-esteem and bring out the beautiful Gem that is within each member of your family.

Join GEM Parenting Teleseminar



As a registered participant you will have the opportunity to ask your questions directly to Dr. Heins or send them in advance of the telesminar.  You will benefit you family’s self-esteem, increase responsibility, and decrease the stress involved with having kids who are irresponsible.

By the way, GEM Parenting Secrets will resume at – 8:30 pm Eastern next week.



Thoughtful Thursday

GEM Parenting Secrets with Dr. Marilyn Heins is going to be a fantastic discussion!  Even if you miss the live teleseminar, you can get the podcast on Thursday.  Then, even for those who have attended, you can down load the podcast to your favorite mp3 player and replay what you really need to understand.

Dr. Heins knows her stuff.

Sneak preview for next week…

Spring Sports-Too much pressure?  Not enough fun?  Surprise guest expert!

Send in your questions today so we can be sure to address your personal concerns.  Send them to me directly at grace@gemparenting.com

Creative Crayon Club

Saturday we have fun activities so you and your family can kick back and relax.  These activities will bring peace and harmony to your home and help increase your family’s self-esteem.


We will also share products and programs that coincide with TOO MUCH STUFF and NOT ENOUGH RESPONSIBILITY.

Hope you have a great week and we at GEM Parenting can assist you in your journey to parent with passion, purpose, and integrity.  Remember we believe at GEM Parenting, every child is a GEM.


Ready—Set—Read! Coaching Parents to Encourage Young Readers

February 7, 2008 at 3:57 am | Posted in children, dads, Families, marriage, moms, Mothers, parents, relationships, Self Esteem, spirituality, toddlers | Leave a comment
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Coaches Corner by Dr. Caron Goode of Coaching Parents

As we all know, reading is fundamental. Reading makes it possible for children to learn, grow, and discover the world around them.

There are four steps children take to becoming readers:

  1. In the first step, they are known as pre-readers. Pre-readers like to look at books and behave like a reader. In this stage, your child begins to understand how text works and can retell a story from memory.
  2. Next, she becomes an emerging reader. At this point, she is ready to be taught how to read. She begins to match written words to spoken ones, and can identify simple words in text.
  3. From here, she develops into an early reader. As an early reader, she is more confident of her ability and capacity to learn. She recognizes more words and understands their relationship to language sounds.
  4. The last phase is that of a fluent reader. The fluent reader can read a variety of materials and relate to the information.  Once your child reaches this stage, her reading foundation is in place.

Six Ways to Encourage Young Readers

1) Start With Language. Language sounds are the basis for reading skills. Children learn these sounds by listening to you converse. Every time you talk with your child you are strengthening this understanding. You can improve her sound recognition in a number of ways including: 

  • Telling stories
  • Asking questions
  • Singing songs
  • Playing word games
  • Pointing to words as you read them

2) Bring on the Fun. Story time should never be a boring time! Try your best to make reading together relaxing, enjoyable, and above all fun! Helping your child experience reading as a pleasure is as easy as:

  • Bring the story to life with dramatic inflection
  • Using different voices for different characters
  • Taking turns acting out the story
  • Choosing books filled with repetition so your child can “read” along
  • Making going to the library an adventure

3) Book Report. When you talk to your child about books, it shows her you place value on them. It also helps her strengthen her vocabulary, reading comprehension, and critical thinking. You can accomplish this by:

  • Talking about treasured childhood stories
  • Asking what type of books she enjoys most
  • Before reading a book, ask her to tell you a story based on the cover
  • Asking her what she would do if she were the main character
  • Asking her questions about the story and encouraging her to do the same

4)  Everyday Reading. There is a lot of reading involved in everyday living. Turn this fact into an opportunity to read out loud. This will help your child practice sound recognition and develop reading skills. You can do this when you:

  • Read road signs and billboards
  • Read food labels at the grocery store
  • Look up words in the dictionary
  • Read letters or emails
  • Refer to a written recipe while cooking

5)  Put on Your Listening Ears.  Just like talking about books, listening to your child read aloud shows you value reading. It also demonstrates that you believe in her abilities and support her efforts. When you listen, be sure to:

  • Show your interest and enjoyment
  • Listen without interrupting
  • Let your child figure out words on her own and learn from her mistakes
  • Take turns reading with beginners
  • Encourage her to listen to herself read 

6)  The 3 P’s—Patience, Praise, and Pride. As with everything, it will take your child a bit of time to develop her reading skills. Be patient as she reads, makes mistakes, and learns. Always demonstrate how proud you are of her accomplishments, and remember your praise means everything to her.

About the Author:  Caron Goode’s (EdD) insights are drawn from her fifteen years in private psychotherapy practice and thirty years of experience in the fields of education, personal empowerment, and health and wellness. She is the author of ten books (www.inspiredparenting.net) and the founder of the Academy for Coaching Parents,(www.acpi.biz) a training program for parents & professionals who wish to mentor other parents. A mom and step-mom, she and her husband live in Ft. Worth, Texas. Reach her at carongoode@mac.com.

Wednesday Wisdom: Awareness Rather Than Fear

January 30, 2008 at 10:10 pm | Posted in children, dads, Families, moms, Mothers, parents, teens, toddlers, Tweens, Wednesday Wisdom | Leave a comment
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Parents often teach their children to be fearful of dangerous situations.  This is an attempt to protect them from the immediate danger.   Unfortunately when you teach fear about one incident you also teach fear about life.  When you teach fear you are also teaching your child to be a victim.  This is a serious negative cycle you set up when you use fear to try to protect your children from danger!

How can you teach awareness rather than fear?  The first thing you need to do is understand the difference between fear and awareness.  Two weeks ago I saw a little girl skiing.  She fell and somersaulted down a steep pitch for about fifteen feet.  When she came to a stop her mother skied over to her and screamed, “Are you all right? My baby, my baby.  What am I going to do?  Help.  I need help!”  At the same time her aunt came over. She bent down, quietly asked the girl if she was all right.  Could she move?  When the girl wiggled and sat up the aunt gently hugged her.  And the mother was still in her panic, yelling for help.  The girl actually put on her skis and said to her mother, “I am really OK.  Aunty Sarah took care of me.”

This is a profound difference between using fear and awareness.  The mother used fear and the little girl never felt taken care of, while the aunt used awareness and the little girl new she was being taken care of.

When you teach basic areas of danger, the kitchen stove for example, teach your children that the stove is hot let them feel the heat that rises without actually touching anything or being burned.  To teach the dangers of traffic put some apples and oranges in the street- being careful yourself,  of course.  Explain that what happens to oranges and apples is what happens to children as well.  You are not scaring your child.  You are having your child be aware of the danger.

With older children is it not as necessary to be as concrete.  When talking to them about situations that can be dangerous, whether is be the internet, dating, sledding.  Be simple in your explanation of the danger.  Acknowledge its presence, but don’t dwell on it.  Use words that instill confidence and control.  Start with, “You may already know this.  As your parent it is my responsibility to be sure you understand the situation as well.”  This sets the tone to be educational rather than emotional.

One of the best indicators of using fear or awareness is to check and see if you are negatively emotional or sharing information.  If you are negatively emotional then you are instilling fear in your child.  If you are sharing information, teaching then you are using awareness.

Awareness will give your child the ability to think in critical and dangerous situations.  Most people who survive life threatening situations, whether induced by others or by accident, do so by having the ability to be aware of the situation and think of a solution.

Enjoy our Free Motivational Monday Podcast on Family Safety!

Transcendent Tuesday: Family Safety

January 29, 2008 at 12:38 am | Posted in children, dads, Divorce, Families, GEM Parenting Secrets, moms, Mothers, parents, Safety, Self Esteem, siblings, teens, toddlers, Transcendent Tuesday, Tweens | 1 Comment
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Is Hiding Our Heads in the Sand Really Working For Us?

By Kelly Rudolph
“Your Personal Safety Trainer™”

Many of us refuse to learn about safety out of fear, opting instead to hide our heads in the sand in denial. It is true that all of us are vulnerable to unscrupulous people just waiting to exploit our weaknesses. Attackers may be 4-year-old bullies in preschool, verbally abusive teens, co-workers or neighbors. They may be purse-snatchers, car jackers, rapists or murderers. When we take our heads out of the sand long enough to realize that they all have one thing in common that is easy to spot, we’ll all be safer…forever!

The attacker mindset is the same no matter who is attacking. In fact, we’ve all been attackers ourselves when we called someone a name or made a joke at someone’s expense. Gossiping and road rage are attacking as well. We tend to think of attacks as physical, don’t we? But domestic violence is always preceded by verbal abuse: name calling, demeaning comments, etc. This breaks down the intended victim’s confidence and self-esteem until they believe, in many cases, they deserve the physical abuse. Attacking can be physical, verbal, mental or emotional.

Understanding the attacker mindset often allows us to see an attack coming a mile away and at the very least avoid taking it personally. Did I say, “Avoid taking it personally?” It is a fact that attacks are not personal even if the attacker knows the victim. The reason someone attacks is simple. They are insecure, have low self-esteem, feel out of control of their own life and choose to control someone else in order to feel powerful again. It’s that simple. The pay-off is feeling powerful and it’s all about the attacker getting that reward. If the attacker chooses to attack someone he or she knows it might be because it’s easier if they already know which buttons to push. Remember attacks are all about the attacker, not about the victim. The victim is just a means to an end. This knowledge is vital to the healing process of survivors.

So hiding our heads in the sand prolongs our vulnerability and prevents us from gaining the necessary confidence that scares off cowardly attackers in the first place. Take control of your personal space, safety and life by holding your head up instead of burying it. 

Kelly Rudolph has taught thousands of men, women and children how to prevent themselves from becoming victims and how to defend themselves when necessary. www.SurviveSD.com

Enjoy our Free Motivational Monday Podcast on Family Safety!

Also, GEM Parenting Secrets will be at 4:00 pm est.  This is a live session where we will discuss strategies to create safety and comfort for your family, how to implement the startegies, and how using the strategies will raise your family’s self-esteem.  Sign up at GEMParenitng.com with our special guest Kelly Rudolph of Survival Self Defense!    Each person that enrolls will receive a Free Personal Safety Secrets Action Guide to help implement your families safety action plan!

Just think…for less than a trip to McDonalds (only $7.99), you can make your family safer!

Motivational Monday: Family Safety

January 28, 2008 at 2:54 pm | Posted in children, Families, moms, Mothers, Motivational Monday, parents, Safety, Self Esteem, teens, toddlers | Leave a comment
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This week we will be talking about family safety.  It is important when creating safety in you family to distinguish between having your children be aware of dangerous and unsafe encounters rather than being fearful of them.  With awareness comes confidence and high self-esteem, with fear comes confusion and low self-esteem.

Enjoy our Free Motivational Monday Podcast on Family Safety!

Tomorrow we will be providing an article related to family safety with tips on how to increase your family’s level of safety with out spending tons of money or time.

Wednesday I will offer an article with tips and skills on how to build your family’s safety factor and increase their self-esteem at the same time. 

Also, GEM Parenting Secrets will be at 4:00 pm est.  This is a live session where we will discuss strategies to create safety and comfort for your family, how to implement the startegies, and how using the strategies will raise your family’s self-esteem.  Sign up at GEMParenitng.com with our special guest Kelly Rudolph of Survival Self Defense!    Each person that enrolls will receive a Free Personal Safety Secrets Action Guide to help implement your families safety action plan!

Just think…for less than a trip to McDonalds (only $7.99), you can make your family safer!

Thursday will be the release of the podcast:
Using Awareness Rather than Fear to Teach Safety and Increase Your Family’s Self-Esteem.

Friday will be Q&A.  I will answer up to three questions concerning family safety.  To send in your question write to grace@gemparenting.com with the subject line as Q&A.  I will need these by Wednesday.

Saturday will be Creative Crayon Club.  We will provide activities related to family safety as well as some other activities that are just plain fun to do.

Hope you can join us as the week unfolds.  And if you have a burning question concerning family safety why not e-mail it in right now at grace@gemparenting.com!

Focused Friday: “I Said No!”

January 25, 2008 at 2:54 am | Posted in children, dads, Families, Focused Fridays, Mothers, parents, Self Esteem, teens, toddlers, Tweens | Leave a comment
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GEM Parenting Question #1:

Whenever I try to say no to my children my husband always gets in the way and lets them do whatever they want.  So how can I be in charge and say a simple no and have them listen to me.


First you need to have a chat with your husband.  Explain to him that you are starting a new phase for yourself and the family.  You want to be sure the children are able to understand that life has choices and limits, and to have respect for each other as a family.

You do not need to talk with him about how he is disrupting your ability to say no.  You need to share with him all the advantages of your children being able to understand, respect, and handle no with ease and comfort.

Then as you begin to say no, clue your husband into this.  Let him know you are going to say no. 

And for goodness sake don’t be the only one to say no.  Choose times to let your husband say no.  Be specific:  Say. “I am going to let your father tell you no this time.”  And be sure to say this when you know your husband wants the answer to be no.

When you say no and he tries to over ride you respond with, “I know your father really loves you to be able to do what ever you want, but unfortunately I have already said no, so we will have to stick with that.”  You will create your own respect this way. 

Use “no” with a calm voice, a gentle tone and relaxed body language.


GEM Parenting Question #2:

I have one child who will always abide by my rules but the other one just won’t listen!  I have to really scream and yell to get her to understand “no”.


First you may be dealing with a sibling rivalry situation, which will be dealt with during the week of Feb. 25 to March 1.  Hope you will join us.

Second, it is important to have both your children accept that you are in charge.  But when you say “abide by my rules” I am hearing control with power rather than control with respect.  I want you to change your feeling of personal respect.

You can have your children do what you want them to do with giving them respect.  As you give more respect you will be stepping out of the ring of the  power struggle. 

Be firm.  Remember not only figuratively step out of the power struggle.  Do it for real.  Step away.  Take the deep breaths.  And remain calm.

Ready to listen to the best podcast on How to Say No to Children and Mean It?  Only $5.99 for a full hour of podcast to give tips and advice on How to Say No to Children and Mean It

FREE 8 PODCAST SERIES: “7 Deadly Mistakes Parents Make That Create Spoiled Brats!”  In this FREE Audio Parenting Series, you’ll learn the tested methods and strategies that produce the behavior your heart desires from your children.

Wednesday Wisdom: How to Say No and Really Mean It

January 24, 2008 at 10:37 am | Posted in children, dads, Families, moms, Mothers, parents, Self Esteem, teens, toddlers, Tweens, Wednesday Wisdom | 2 Comments
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As a parent there is often the need to say no for an emergency.  And that comes easily enough.  But what about those regular times when you want to say no and your children just keep bugging you.  Either they just keep pleading and whining.  Or they look at you with such cute faces you feel you just have to give in.  Or they bug you so you feel the only way to say no is to yell and scream.  Only you really don’t want to give in and you don’t want to scream.  What can you do?

The first thing to remember is that you are the parent. Not just physically, but mentally as well.  This means you can expect your children to respect you.  This puts you in the attitude of having your children understand you are in charge.  It is both a simple idea and a profound concept. 

After you have adjusted your attitude to be the person in charge you can follow through with the simple “no.” A simple no is said with conviction.  It is used justly and respectfully of your children.  The idea of gaining respect from your children is as important as giving respect to them.

When your children look at you with those faces that just melt you, stay in charge.  Tell them they are so cute, but unfortunately the cute faces will not change your mind.  When they come to with a barrage of reasons they think you should change your mind respond with, ”I know you don’t understand, but the answer is still no.”  You need to keep your voice calm and even. 

When your children are bugging you to the point of exploding, first step away from them.  Collect yourself.  Take some deep yoga breaths.  When you are a calm enough go back to your kids.  Tell them, “The answer is no.  I have stopped yelling at you.  I realize that you will expect me to yell.  But I am trying my best to stop yelling at you.  I now expect you to respect this change in me and respect that the answer is no.”

With all three of these ideas you will be regaining your own self respect and through living you will teach your children how to expect respect from others and how to have self respect. 

Respect is one of the corner stones for a good foundation of high self-esteem.  When you give and take respect through the use of saying no and meaning it- without yelling at your kids– you establish an ability for your family to understand and accept the natural limitations of life without actually being limited by them.

FREE 8 PODCAST SERIES: “7 Deadly Mistakes Parents Make That Create Spoiled Brats!”  In this FREE Audio Parenting Series, you’ll learn the tested methods and strategies that produce the behavior your heart desires from your children.

KidSites: Internet Safe Activities for Kids

January 19, 2008 at 2:04 pm | Posted in children, Creative Crayon Club, dads, Families, Fun Activities, moms, Mothers, parents, Safety, teens, toddlers, Tweens | 3 Comments
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As January is the safety month, we at Gem Parenting have looked at internet safety as one part of real family safety.

  • This weekend take time to be sure you have the right controls for your kids use.
  • Learn how to monitor what has been done on the computer.
  • Be sure you are aware of what your kids do on line and
    how much time they spend on line.  One good measure is through the “A Parent’s Guide to Internet Safety” brochure published by the FBI task force on Internet Safety and the Center for Missing and Exploited Children.

I really want you to take some time to be sure you and your children are fully aware of the dangers of the Internet.  When you know the dangers of things then you can be wary of them.

When I was a kid,  there were conversations about how to monitor TV and all that was available there.  With the web there is much more available, both good and bad.  But there is no need to panic.  Be sensible, realistic, and respectful. 


As far as finding great things to do on line here is my favorite sites KidSites.com.  There are all kinds of wonderful things to do and none of them are about printing worksheets to do.

You can follow this link to a ton of great things for children to do on the web: 

KidSite.com:  Kid Safe Internet Activities

If you know of great safe sites then PLEASE let me know.  Just send in a comment or, if you prefer, you can always write directly to grace@gemparenting.com.

Dont forget:  Our weekly GEM Parenting podcast for the week, “Keeping your Kids Safe on the Internet” is only $5.99 for a full hour of information, tips, and guidance on the best practices for making sure your kids stay safe online.  Dont wait….order your podcast today!

Focused Friday: Internet Safety for Children

January 18, 2008 at 12:47 am | Posted in children, dads, Families, Focused Fridays, moms, Mothers, parents, Safety, Self Esteem, teens, Tweens | 2 Comments
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 Welcome to Focused Friday!  This week we are talking about how to keep your kids safe on the internet

Question #1:  

I am online quite a bit.  But I really don’t want my daughter to get on line as much as me.  How can I tell her that she must not be online as much as me?

GEM Answer: 
First you need to ask yourself why you are on line so much?  Is it important or necessary?  Are you learning something?  Or are you filling up time with being online.  If the last is your answer then, as much as I am glad to have you here, you need to curb your own time online.  Instead of being on line take time to be interactive with your daughter.  Ask her to show you some of her school projects.  If you show her how to spend time doing other things than being online she will emulate your new behaviors. 

If, on the other hand, you are the internet for important, necessary, or learning reasons then explain to your daughter that there are times for being online that are different for children than for parents.  Because you are the parent, allow yourself to create and make limits for your daughter.


Question #2:  

I am very concerned that my 13-year-old daughter is having a relationship online that is inappropriate.  How can I figure it out and stop her?

GEM Answer: 

The first thing for you to do is explain to her that you know of some people who get involved with people on line who they don’t know and it turns out to be a really bad situation.  Ask her if she has ever heard of any one like that.  Have a few conversations about other people, and what happened to them.  But try to keep the conversations to be about how to get out of the problem and how the kids came to parents or even counselors at school to get help. 

At some point, I suggest you let your daughter know about your concern.  Be sure to speak to her with concern rather than judging.  Let her know that you love her too much to let her get mixed up in a situation that would be harmful to her.  And also that it is your both your job and responsibility as a parent to protect her from harm.  Remind her of sometime when she was much younger and you protected her.  You want her to respect you and that means you must respect her.  But it does not mean you must let her do whatever she wants.


Question #3:  

I am in a real panic and your stuff came out just in time.  I know my son is communicating with someone online who he met in a chat room.  And they are thinking of meeting in person.  What do I do?

GEM Answer:  

You immediately speak to your son about the dangers of such meeting in person.  You simply forbid it to happen.  You explain to your son that the kind of people who want to meet boys from chat rooms usually have bad intensions.  The other alternative is to meet the person with your son, only in a very public place.  But I personally would not allow any of my children to meet someone whom they have met only in a chat room.

You should also inform your local or state law enforcement agency, the FBI, and the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children.


It is important to remember that the Internet has opened the world in amazing and wonderful ways.  Being committed, interactive, and responsible for your children in all their endeavors will give you and them the stability and foundation to be able to live peacefully and safely with the Internet.

Dont forget:  Our weekly GEM Parenting podcast for the week, “Keeping your Kids Safe on the Internet” is only $5.99 for a full hour of information, tips, and guidance on the best practices for making sure your kids stay safe online.  Dont wait….order your podcast today!

Just e-mail me at grace@gemparenting.com

FREE 8 PODCAST SERIES: “7 Deadly Mistakes Parents Make That Create Spoiled Brats!”  In this FREE Audio Parenting Series, you’ll learn the tested methods and strategies that produce the behavior your heart desires from your children.

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