Parenting the Hungry Horrors

May 18, 2009 at 6:59 am | Posted in attitudes, Families, Motivational Monday, Self Esteem | Leave a comment
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Happy Motivational Monday

If you find this interesting
And helpful please
pass it along to your friends.

Again thanks to those who emailed me
with your concerns and issues.

It’s still important to email your concerns-
You joined GEM Parenting because
need help with your parenting.
You want to understand and develop
your parenting, reduce your stress and
overwhelm, and let your kids grow up
with natural high self-esteem.

And you certainly don’t want the national hazard
of having a brat for a kid.

And for some reason that just isn’t so simple.

Post or email your concerns and issues.
Get your guidance.
And help others who are suffering with your issue,
but not quite ready to share.

I will post  a personal response to share.

Of course with your personal stuff removed if you emailed me.
****************************************************
Question:

It seems like I’m my one biggest enemy and I am the one who needs to change in order to become a better parent. And I really struggle w/that. But I do want to be a good mother and I love my children very much. My daughter has a similar personality than I do. Both of my children are very active. We are a creative artistic family.  So organization is not our strength. My dd (6 years old) has a strong will, that can be frustrating. What is the best response when I tell her to do something and she simply refuses? Or she simply says, “No I don’t want to”. I tell her that that is not ok. And she often gets mad when I make her do something. Sure she has a strong will. How can I deal w/that? I started homeschooling her in fall, that goes pretty ok. I don’t know how much hunger and being tired has to do w/ it. Thanks Friederike

Response:

Friederike,
The first and foremost thing to do is not beat yourself up about your parenting.  You are doing the most important thing- loving your children.  I know it seems incomprehensible, but there are some who actually don’t love their children.

Second, because you see yourself that you need to get our of your way, you can actually get going on your positive parenting journey much easier than those who think it is some outside force holing them hostage.

Lets start with the basics- I think hunger and being tired have tons to do with kids (and grown ups) getting mad and exerting their strong will.

In my house we have a term for this:

THE HUNGRY HORRORS

And my youngest (8) and oldest (25) are the worst.  The best way to combat this is to have food like apples, grapes and carrots available at all times.  My kids love the big carrots that aren’t even peeled.  And we eat lots of hummos with our carrots.

Its pretty important to stay away from ANY kind of food
that is processed.  These may abate the hunger for
a short time, but will actually make the Hungry Horrors come back
with more strength and power.

Now we do eat some crap, but NEVER when we are having the hungry horrors.

And yes kids get tired, but just like it can take years to get potty training to
be accident free, it takes kids even more years to regulate getting
enough rest time.  And our culture is really pushing no rest to the limit!

When I was a kid- way back in the last century- it was pretty normal for kids to have a rest time IN SCHOOL with a blanket to lie down on and everything- till about eight years old.  And I was in an innovative- hip school.

We are all so busy now keeping up with all that there is to offer, what with internet, programs, books, electronics, easy connections on all fronts.  So make a rest time- and as a family rest.  Put it as a priority.  The rest does not have to be sleeping- it can be looking at picture books, reading, coloring, listening to music, you reading to the kids, just please no electronics.

Because of the older kids busy schedules my youngest had much less rest time when she was six and seven than any of the others- and it really showed. We put back her rest/quiet time and she is much calmer, less stubborn, and able to hear what is asked of her without flying off the handle- well at least not everytime.

Even with all this, your DD will still be stubborn and willful.  As a general rule give her options.  “You can clean your room now or in 15 minutes.  When do you want to start?”  Then turn the timer on for 15 minutes, as she will most likely think she can get out of it. When the timer goes off, be ready to calmly and continually repeat, “Its your time to clean up now.  This is your choice.”  Be sure to use the word “your” as much as possible.  This gives the ownership and responsibility to her.  And REPEAT with the same words, same calm tone.

I have done this- with my last mind you- for up to thirty minutes.  She would scream, yell, storm out of the house, only to return and have me repeating calmly to her that she had to do what ever it was.

After a few of these sessions, she began to get the picture. She would have to follow through with her choice.

Oh one more thing- when she wised up and said’  “ I don’t want to do either.” I said that wasn’t a choice.  And repeated her choices.

*********************************************************
New section of the Motivational Monday:
On my home front:

Last night my friend invited my girls and me
to join her at a circle dance.
It was an evening full of energy and joy.

Today and tomorrow we will be getting
my 16 DD ready to go to Lake Placid.
She will be training there for about five months.
(with some training trips to snow and a vaca with us
slipped in)

We take her on Wed.
As a mom I am in the complete mix of
total WOW pride
and thrilled that my daughter is
doing this fantastic and amazing thing and
with every breath I am feeling the sadness of her going away.

*************************************************************

Have a great week.
Be a parent with passion, purpose, and integrity,

Grace

PS: If finances are an issue, parenitngpodcasts at
http://GEMParenting.com/store.htm
are $6.

Scroll through and find the one you want.

Parent to parent
I wish you strength and courage.
Now be your best parent with
Passion, Purpose and Integrity.

Grace

Reike With Kids

May 13, 2009 at 6:21 am | Posted in 1 | Leave a comment
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Yes with kids the simplest approach is the best. Less thinking, less worrying, more actions, and constant loving.

Each time you self doubt or worry, you bring attention to just what you are trying to help pass by.

Kids sense this instantly.  They have no barriers yet.

So each time you worry about how you are going to send reiki energy
guide yourself to knowing you will and that you are concerned and loving your nephew.

Many times I have given Reike to kids with a hug, integrated with a message,  but mostly when they are intently involved with an activity that is not electronic connected.  Then they have no idea what I am doing or do they care.  And because they are kids I only do Reiki for short periods.  I can do a full treatment in 15 minutes.  Just like any other kind of energy- food, water, milk, medicines, bike riding, running in circles- energy for kids is intensified weather it is what is going in or what is going out.

how to parent positively

May 5, 2009 at 2:58 pm | Posted in 1 | 1 Comment
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The Power of Positive Energy –. Your attitude and perspective deeply affect how you present yourself to the world. A famous quote by Emerson reads: Enthusiasm is one of the most powerful engines of success. When you do a thing, do it with all your might. Put your whole soul into it. Stamp it with your own personality. Be active, be energetic, be enthusiastic and faithful, and you will accomplish your objective. Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm. Learn that what you get back in life has a direct correlation with what you give. This is so important for parents. We are the ones who have to do the worst part of raising a kid. We have to get them to grow up right. Now that takes about everything we can think of and then some. And we, the parents, are the ones who have to nag and complain, pay attention to the crap on the floor, notice the dirty clothes heaped up waist high even though we vowed to never pay attention to the mess and smell again. Yep we are filled with the negative side of the whole thing. But we have an escape we can use our own positive energy to change what we see and what we attend to. With Law of Attraction what attend to brings it more energy. But how can you really only pay positive attention while raising your kids? Don’t you really have to notice all those awful things? And what about safety? That has to be a prime factor of parenting. Yes of course, only here’s the deal. When you give some positive energy to what you have been taught is negative it will no longer be negative. I had a six year old who had massive tantrums. I unquestionably HATED those tantrums. But rather than hold onto the negative, I focused on the fact that my child would always be free from perpetrators. She had a great set of lungs. I found opera music for her to sing along with. When she was seven her loud tantrums would often include a bit of operatic sounds. Now she is eight and rarely tantrums. But she knows about opera music. You can do the same with any negative. It’s not always getting rid of the behavior. It may be changing your opinion of the behavior or your reaction to it. Just remember to hold true to your values and morals. Have a great day parenting and living with Passion, Purpose, and Integrity, Grace

Parenting Power of Positive Energy

May 4, 2009 at 6:57 am | Posted in Motivational Monday, parents, Self Esteem | 2 Comments
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Here it is Motivational Monday
all over again.

We have been talking about peace and honor
and now I want to switch just slightly.

You see I am doing a workshop for teens this Wednesday
and the topic is

The Power of Positive Energy

Your attitude and perspective deeply affect
how you present yourself to the world.
A famous quote by Emerson reads:

“Enthusiasm is one of the most
powerful engines of success.

When you do a thing,
do it with all your might.
Put your whole soul into it.
Stamp it with your own personality.
Be active, be energetic,
be enthusiastic and faithful, and
you will accomplish your objective.

Nothing great was ever achieved
without enthusiasm.”

Learn that what you get back in life
has a direct correlation with what you give.
Discover how to develop and
use positive energy in your daily approach to life.

So of course I want to share a bit about how
you, as a parent, can use YOUR
Power of Positive Energy
to ease and calm your parenting.

Each time you hear yourself tell your child what
you don’t want, I want you to add on
what you do want.

Example: “You’re late!  Don’t miss that bus again.”
Add: “I want you to be timely and get on the bus.”

You can even shorten it to
“Be timely.  Get on the bus.”

This is about the most simple way to start the change
of shifting your negative energy to positive energy.

And let me tell, you if you are in a funk of negativity
this “simple” exercise can really undermine your
train of thought.

You are forced to stop that negative motion.
Its just like a train that gets derailed.
All that negativity just crashes.

It has nowhere to go.

When you take this tiny little step
not only will you change your energy from
negative to positive, you
will give your children something to
live up to.  Thus raising their self esteem.

That’s your Motivation for Monday.
And you can actually use this skill
absolutely anywhere.

Since I am a parent coach I urge you to try
at home with your kids first.

Please share your success stories.
It really inspires others when they
see that something really does work.

Now get on with parenting with
Passion, Purpose, and Integrity

Grace

PS:  If you haven’t checked out the
podcasts at GEM Parenting why not do it now?

http://www.GEMParenting.com/storehtm

Honor and Peace for Parents

April 20, 2009 at 11:46 am | Posted in 1 | Leave a comment
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GEM Parenting
Where Every Child is a GEM

Hi

It’s Motivational Monday.

And this week its about Honor and Peace.

I had some ideas about what I would motivate you on. (All kinds of earth day stuff. I know you will get plenty of that anyway.)

But then I got an email from one of my favorite clients this morning and had a call with my husband. My client has found her peace. And she was able to accept it. This is such a huge bridge that I just had to motivate you to find your peace this week. It makes such a difference when you have something that would have been upsetting, a struggle, or overwhelming. When you have your peace you are able to respond and react with a calm and yes peaceful response. It seems so basic, but if it were then you would already be peaceful. Your self-esteem and parenting would be going along in a manner that brought peace. You would be calm and collected.

Oh you aren’t. So this week go find some peace.

And when my husband called, he had some free time but I had you to write to, do lessons for my kids, email some contacts about a retreat I am setting up ( oh more juicy stuff about that later) and this afternoon I have three conferences, my yoga class and physical therapy, and my hour of being outdoors. Yes a very busy day.

But I answered the phone when my husband called. He wanted to talk. But I really just wanted to have a quick hello and get on with all that I have geared up for today.

He responded with a pouting sound. Then I explained to him that he has a choice- “You can feel rejected because I am not talking to you for a long time or you can feel honored that I am taking time to talk to you. It’s really your choice. But in my opinion you should (Yes I have to admit I used the word should) be honored I have stopped in the middle of what I am doing to have a chat with you.”

And happily he decided to be honored I talked to him.

So with looking for and finding some peace for yourself this week honor yourself and those around you. It’s a choice to find honor in most everything you do.

So that leaves the others to motivate you to find specific ways to celebrate earth day. And if you have something to share, by all means let us know.

But really I would rather you share about your peace and honor.
And the funny thing about this change is that it leads right into the new program I am offering. It is “UU Moms For a Balanced Life.”

Click the link or cut and paste to your browser to learn about and join this program.
http://www.yoursqueezepage.com/displayPage.php?id=13481

Life Lessons of Dignity and High Self-Esteem

April 14, 2009 at 8:57 am | Posted in 1 | Leave a comment
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GEM Parenting
Where Every Child is a GEM

Its Terrific Tuesday and no better day than today to tell you about our weekend. How we were able to actually have some Easter and our last ski race.

For the whole story I am actually going to bring you back to last Tuesday!

On Tuesday I was to get my 16 year old from the airport- just one and half hours away LOL- She was to arrive at 7:30pm. This was a bit tight because my dancer finished on Tuesday at 7:00pm. Then as we were going into dance (30 minutes away) my 16 year-old daughter called. She had gotten off the plane at a layover and was instructed to head to another gate. When she got to the gate she was told the plane she had been on was actually the correct plane. And it had left. She was completely calm. And asked what should be done now? She was complimented on her manners and told they would get her to our airport at 11:30 pm.

This meant three hours of middle of the night driving for me. YUCK! But that was all I could do about that. I told the dancer as soon as dance was over we would go straight home and I would take a nap. The traveler called again and said she would be at our airport at 8:30pm. This was actually perfect. We left after dance and arrived just as she had gotten her bags. This was a sure case of Law of Attraction.

Just a quick side note on the 16 year old. She went to Squaw Valley for half pipe nationals on skis. She had a great run, but did not place all that well. She actually did not get a score. Again Law of Attraction. She knew she was good, but had not actually put energy into having a great finish. So although her run was great, the scores just did not actually appear. Rather than mope about the outcome, after the ten minutes of discouragement she began her plan for next year. Then she and my eldest (25 years who lives in LA) spent a week together. They had a fantastic time. And the 16 year old surfed- another dream of hers.

OK back to last week-
Of course the whole way home we talked, shared our stories, and just enjoyed each other’s company. And we were all ready to go to sleep when we got back.

Wednesday morning we packed the car- We had to have all our ski gear, enough entertainment for the 4 hr rides and the possibility of four rainy days, school work, and lots and lots of food. We were to leave at 12 noon. We left at 12:20. That’s on time for us.

I was the passenger. And maybe this should have meant resting and relaxing, but when the driver is 16 you are extra alert. So to keep me calm and the kids entertained I read for three hours. Hoarse voice.

We got to our condo and unpacked. Next morning was sunny and a bit warm for us. Racer was training GS w/ her team. (Just incase you are new to GEM Parenting, this was a championship race of the 30 best qualified Americans and 30 best qualified Canadians aged 11 and 12- The Children’s Can-Am) Friday morning was slalom training. My other girls and I were skiing. But we stopped by to watch the training. WOW! I could hardly believe my eyes. My daughter was skiing terribly. Now I had to make a quick decision. Do I let her just continue to enjoy this trip or do I put a spark in her? How do I light the spark and not have her get too tense? And is this really my place or should I leave it up to the coach?

You guessed right if you guessed I decided with the spark. And what would the best spark be? Total honesty. Now there are two ways of honesty-vinegar or honey. I chose honey. I told her that if she was capable of skiing very differently, she had skied very differently two years before, and it was time to go back to that style. She had developed a certain fear of hitting the slalom gates. She did not need to hit the gates. She needed to find her own style and own line.

I wanted her to know that if she were to ski on Sunday the way she trained she would come in the place that no skier wants to be in- by at least three seconds, (a huge difference in ski racing.) If she were going to lose she would at least want to do it with dignity. She took one more run. And improved a tiny bit. She could have dignity at this rate.

Next day was race day- Giant Slalom- My daughter was ready. She put in a great effort and came away with a 37th. Not bad for being the last to qualify from US. But she said to me when she came through the finish. “ I could have done better. I am not even out of breath. I held myself back and I was tight and nervous. Tomorrow I need my sister to ski with me and help me relax.” All in one breath- not knowing how she did compared to anyone else, and before anyone could tell her what she needed to do.

For the afternoon and evening we went to our friend’s condo- 3 families from another mountain in NH. We had a fabulous egg hunt, a delicious Easter dinner, and great time being together. Easter with friends who are almost family.

Sunday-Race day again. Two girls going- one to race with dignity, and the other preparing her with fun and humor and stratgeies. I got them up and to the mountain. They headed off with coaches and other teammates to slip the course.

(The rest of us had to pack out of the condo, but not one thing could be done about that while the racer was there. We were done in 35 minutes)

So we got to the race hill just as the first racers were coming down. Now I can tell you I felt nervous. I wanted so badly for my daughter to do her best, put it all together, and feel great when she came through the finish line. And that is a very tall order!

The first girls had too much speed. They crashed, hiked and were disappointed. Then came some who got the right speed and line. Things were exciting. My daughter was bib 52. Near the end. I was getting a pit in my stomach. Then we were only ten away. My eight year old and I sent her our energy to go fast, relax, and have good line. We use Reiki to do this.

Fifty came through the finish. Fifty-one was on course and fifty-two was out of the gate- my daughter. All you can do is stand there and watch. Send your energy. And hope all goes well. And know that you may need to help uplift your kid’s spirits or you might, if everything goes just right and luck is on your side, have a great feeling of satisfaction. Yes, I know it is the kid who does al the action, but as mom/dad/grandparent you are part of the energy and emotion. You cannot separate yourself so don’t try. Just keep a check on it and don’t over power your kid.

She came in fast. Did everything she could do. And pushed herself to her absolute limit. She had a fantastic finish. No she did not win or even come in the top ten, but she was twenty-second! Now from where she was two days before, this was better than any of us hoped for.

She made a decision, put all she knew into action, and skied without a conscious thought. It was so wonderful to see. She knew she had done a great run. Lots of cheers from other US kids and parents.

But we had to stay in the moment. She still had another run. And who knew what would happen then. Lunch with the subtle tension of more to come, yet the satisfaction of having done one’s best. As a parent it’s a real tight rope. Keeping things just calm enough, and keeping just enough adrenalin for the second run.

Off went the racers (and the one sister) with the coaches to prepare (slip the course) for the second run. Only this time my daughter was going ninth. The top thirty flip time order. It’s a BIG deal to make the flip.

So we had much less time to wait and wonder. We all did about the same as last time- Sent energy, sister with her to keep her just focused enough, but relaxed and having fun. (This sister has been in many international competitions at this point so she really knows what to do and think)

And the tension went up by notches as her time to go came closer. Was she going to be calm? Would she lose it? Would she decide, “Well, I did great last time so I can sit back?”

She was out the gate and we knew. She was putting it down again. She was on her edges, (both of her skis and her abilities). She was breathless at the finish. She had done two great runs. She was elated. I was elated. Her family was elated. Her coaches were thrilled and proud. And her friends and their parents were so happy for her.

Her finish? Twenty-second overall. And this in the race that she could have been last by seconds had she not decided to put it all together.

As a parent there was so much in this weekend for my daughter. Yes, it was fantastic she made it to the Can-Am. It truly was a small elite group of racers. And what she was able to bring together for herself was worth every moment of getting there. She was able to go to her limit. She accepted her challenge- how to get around the slalom gates without hitting them yet being close and fast. She was able to accept her tension and use it to boost her abilities. These two life lessons alone will give her that something we all want in uncomfortable situations. She chose to do her best in every possible way. The outcome was dignity and high self-esteem. Where she placed was the icing on the cake. It really did not matter. (But it was fun to knock of 30 places. I am the first to let you know.)

If you read this far, congratulations. You can see that being a parent has lots of ins and outs, nooks and crannies. You have to be ready in all situations to bring honor and dignity to your children. They need to be supported to do their best, in the way that keeps their self esteem intact. No small order chef can do it.

I would love to hear about times that your children were able to overcome obstacles and how you helped them with this. What life lessons were learned- by you or them!

Spiritual Counseling and Soul Healing Raises Your Self-Esteem

April 7, 2009 at 12:18 pm | Posted in 1 | Leave a comment
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Had an awesome interview with Maggie Ostara. She is a spiritual counselor and a soul healer. If you are in search of finding that deep peace that seems just out of your reach listen to this interview.

http://www.audioacrobat.com/play/WXrcn4B4

This is an opportunity to get into the depths of your spirit. What is spirit? Its the truest meaning of life. It is the God, universal, special, miraculous energy that each of has. Or we would not be alive.

How is your spirit today? What have you done to get in touch with your essence?

When you take the moments through your day that bring you to your spiritual self you bring peace, harmony, and equality to yourself and your family. You will raise your self esteem. Your confidence will soar. What you accomplish in a day will surprise you and everyone around you.

How is your spirit today? What have you done to get in touch with your essence? Let me know, you can inspire me and others.
(to leave a comment click the title of this article)

Motivational Monday-How Can You Bring Spirituality to Parenting?

April 6, 2009 at 10:11 am | Posted in 1 | 4 Comments
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Here we are in the midst of the hectic life of being a mother/father.  If you are like me, you have days filled with basic activites-teeth, hair, beds made, meals, meals, meals, meals, shopping, homework, driving to and from, hurt knees, hurt feelings, squabbling, and all that fills every minute of the day. Not to mention any of the other tasks and duties that are not directly related to parenting.

You have certainly heard find the time, get up early, stay up late, stop doing something so you can spend time being spiritual, make a routine of it.  And guess what happens?  Refer to paragraph one to know what happens if you aren’t sure.  Who are they kidding? We just can’t add spirituality in.  It is not essential or necessary.  It will be interrupted anyway so why try?

Why try?  Who cares?  I do. You do.  We need to find this thing called spirituality.  We need to be able to find that peace and harmony.  With spitituality we can have our self esteem, our energy, our freedom to be our best selves.

So how find this elusive thing called spirituality?

Start with taking five seconds at a time.  You can definately find this much time!  There really is no excuse for this short moment.

In the five seconds you can

  • give thanks,
  • offer courage,
  • feel connected,
  • feel humility,
  • know the universal energy is with you.

With your hands you can bring them together in prayer touching first your thumbs, and along to your pinkies.  Or you can use arm these vairations.  All have straight arms, the palms spread wide twtiching your fingers as you go through the five spiritual parts.  You can have them at your sides, .  You can twist at the waist.  You can reach to the sky.  You can raise your arms up and down at your sides or in front of you-being sure that as you go up your hands are facing up and as you go dowm your hands are facing down.

Your motivation for this week is to find these five seconds.  Let yourself find a few of them every day.  Be clear that this is your five seconds of spirituality.  And let others know how you are doing, what other ways you have of bringing spirituality into your life.  To comment simply click the title of this article and put your thoughts down.  They the ability to inpsire so many.

Serious Small Town Snow Day Blues Here

March 9, 2009 at 12:18 pm | Posted in 1 | Leave a comment
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Today is a snow day in NH. The public schools are out. When we lived in CT a snow day was as exciting for us as it was for the school kids because we always had a house full of kids those days. But now we live in a tiny village in NH. It has great advantages, but today the glaring disadvantage is really glaring us in the face.

There are only 39 kids here from 5 years old to fourteen years old. And the next town is a distance away.

Story of eight-year-old daughter today: This morning my daughter invited a friend to come over, but the father and the girl said that she wanted to go to work with her dad. So we called the next girl. That girl and her mother said they were going slow for the morning, but the girl would come over for lunch and the afternoon. I called about 12:30 to see when they would arrive.

No answer. I guessed they must have decided to go skiing. There was some mention that the mother might go skiing, and I thought maybe the girl decided to go with her mom.

I tried girl number three. And was told that they already had too many kids over and just couldn’t handle one more. THE OTHER TWO GIRLS were over there. I am crushed. My daughter thankfully has NO idea. And hopefully won’t.

Story of twelve-year-old daughter: The other two girls who are in this town are too entirely different from my daughter for her to even think of playing with. My daughter likes to play outside, be imaginative. The others hate the outside and are very “plugged in” kids. She tried to call kids from out of town, but they just couldn’t come.

Since my kids are home schooled they are accustomed to not having lots of kids all day long. But one of the dilemmas is that we used to be a haven for other kids. Now we are not.

It’s all part of the small town politics. We somehow got out of the “in” crowd and when that is the only group in your town it really shows up when you are out. Oh, the reasons are varied. It could be that we had lice years ago, even though we were not the first in town to have them. It could be we home school. It could be that my eight-year-old has had tantrums. It could be that we are not very “plugged in” or don’t eat junk food. It could be that these two children of mine just don’t really like each other.

Right now my girls are working at playing together. I am writing out my sadness for this turn of events, and then I will lift myself up from my bootstraps and take them out for a cross-country ski for an hour.

It’s tough to be the kind of parent I am – constantly using positive intervention, Law of Attraction, and being sure my kids have high self-esteem – and have my kids be left out of such things as play dates.

If you have ideas, suggestions, or similar situations PLEASE take a moment to share. Now I will atke my own advice and…

Live this day with
Passion, Purpose, and Integrity
Thanks, Grace

Are You Thoughtful Enough to Raise Your Children with High Self Esteem?

February 5, 2009 at 7:25 am | Posted in attitudes, children, Self Esteem, Thoughtful Thursday | 9 Comments
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Today is Thoughtful Thursday.  Are you actually being thoughtful enough to be raising your kids with high self esteem?

I don’t want to get you confused and stressed, but most parents who are trying to bring high self-esteem into their houses are actually bringing in something that has no resemblance to self-esteem.

Most parents are teaching their children to compete against an external standard. Rather than help their children achieve their personal best, they are actually measuring them against a standard set out by some collective social norm.

How can you tell the difference?

Be thoughtful of the way yourself think about success, achievement, and acceptable completion of projects.

If you pay attention to how your child starts and how your child finishes, what the process is your child is using, rather than have any notion that there is a standard, that it is necessary to compare, then you are bringing in high self-esteem.

But if you are like most parents who compare your kids to any other kids, even with your own kids, you could be sabotaging your kids self-esteem.

Maybe it is no big deal to you, but it should be. I have seen way too many children who have seem to have fine self-esteem as kids crash as teens or adults.

They do not have an inner strength to be able to withstand the outside social pressures.

Have a Thursday filled with thought,

Grace

PS:  Are you holding back because of your own lack of self-esteem?  Seems to me you shouldn’t really want to repeat the pattern.

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