How to Make Time Stand Still as a Parent.

July 17, 2008 at 6:38 am | Posted in 1, children, dads, moms, Mothers, parents, Self Esteem | Leave a comment
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Feature Article: How to Make Time Stand Still as a Parent.
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Personal note from <!–[if supportFields]> CONTACT _Con-3EF05DC31 \c \s \l <![endif]–>Grace <!–[if supportFields]><![endif]–>

Its already Thursday, I just can’t believe how time flies in the summer.  Here we are in the middle of July and I am thinking it is still the middle of June.

 

I understand that happens to all of us.  And we all wonder, “Where has the time gone?” 

 

I am really thinking this today as yesterday I took my dog to the vet for a check up.  He is sixteen years old!!!  He is in pretty good health, but has some fluid on the lungs. 

 

But I think about that little girl who was my daughter then, who is now an adult living in California by herself.  The time does pass and it goes quickly. 

 

That brings me to the feature article.  How can you hold time just a bit longer?  Let it linger a while before racing forward?

 

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Feature article:

 

How to make Time Stand Still as a Parent

 

Time is so elusive.  There are times when we think can’t it ever just stop and then there are times when we want it to speed up and be quicker.  Of course what we want to stay put is what we love.  And what we want to pass quickly is what we are frustrated, confused, overwhelmed, and hurt by.

 

And here is the dilemma.  Most times people teach you how to prolong what you like.  But leave off anything about what you don’t like.

 

When this happens you can have a good idea of helping the parts of your life that you love be longer and they do over run parts of your life that cause you stress.  But with this method you do not get rid of all your stress.  You are replacing some, yes.  But what is left often is magnified.

 

What I want you to do is work on the part of your life that causes you stress.  Put it in perspective of time – Of forever time, not just today, this week, this month, or even this year.  Put it in perspective of your life, of time unending.  When you look at the stress causing incidents that are ruining your parenting right now are they going to be part of your life forever?  Will they disappear as your children get older?  You finish breakfast?  They head off to camp/school? 

 

Most everything that you stress and agonize over will be gone before you can even finish the worrying part.  Rather than be so preoccupied with these annoyances and problems, turn them into the basic process of parenting.  Allow the to be just what happens.  Teeth are somehow hard to get brushed., squabbling does happen, and being over tired exists. 

 

Take the pressure off yourself.  Be imperfect.  Allow your kids their imperfections. 

 

When you change your attitude to this, you actually give yourself more time.  You do not try to overrun the negative with the good.  You actually allow what has been the negative to be changed to neutral.  It is part of being.  Just like breathing, heart pumping, and yes going to the bathroom.  We do all these things without a lot of thought or effort. 

 

By living with these stresses as part of life rather than always trying to escape from them you not only have more time, you reduce the power of the stresses.  

 

The results are you enjoy your kids and parenting more.  And you reduce stress, thus improving your over all health.

 

Enjoy the summer, know that one day your kids will be grown and out of the house.

So be sure to

Parent with passion, purpose, and integrity.

 

Grace

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Motivational Monday

July 7, 2008 at 12:55 pm | Posted in children, Families, GEM Parenting Secrets, moms, Mothers, Motivational Monday, parents, Self Esteem, spirituality | Leave a comment
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Wow what a great weekend I just had. I hope yours was great s well.  I spent time with family, went to the beach, hung out at home, did house projects, went to church at the beach and finished the weekend off with a trip to the Museum of Natural History in NYC with two of my kids and husband.  

This week I want to talk with you about how to use the eternal energy and spirit to reduce your stress and anxieties of parenting. 

Look at yourself.  Really take a good look.  Are you so overwhelmed that you can’t see your connection with all eternity?  Are you lost without any spirit or soul? 

Why am I asking this?  Because if you are parenting without any soul, spirit or connection with the eternal energy, then you are truly alone. 

And being alone as a parent puts you as risk of really srewing things up.  Not just for yourself, but for your kids as well. 

 You see with all the stress and anxiety that you are giving to yourself- yes you are giving this to yourself-then you are creating an atmosphere for your kids that almost forces them to look outside for approval.This is your best way to make your kids never be satisfied with themselves.

So for today I want you to think about the first part of the Serenity Prayer. 

God grant me the serenity 
to accept the things I cannot change; 


Courage to change the things I can;


And wisdom to know the difference.

 

When you use this prayer as part of your parenting you will see that you are part of a whole.  That what you do at this very moment will have little to do with your child as a whole. 

If you constantly try to make things happen, alter the way things are and distrust the world around you and most importantly distrust yourself, you will set yourself up for complete disappointment.

Now truly contemplate, meditate and pray the Serenity Prayer for your parenting.

Let us know how using the Serenity Prayer helps you today with you parenting.  Please add your comment in the comments section.

Lipgloss Is Still Eating At Me!

May 31, 2008 at 3:29 pm | Posted in children, Families, GEM Parenting Secrets, Mothers, respect, Self Esteem, sports, teenagers | Leave a comment
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Anxiety of buying lip-gloss, but not paying for sports

myspace glitter graphics
Glitter Graphics

When I buy things I have two reactions.  One is anxiety (and you will see the price does not matter.)  The other is that paying for something is just part of how it works.  

When I have anxiety it is because I am thinking about the product, not the process.  When I was at the store yesterday my daughter asked for some lip-gloss.  It was only $1.99, but I had that yuck feeling of buying something. 

Then in the evening the same daughter was talking to me about a training program she is invited to be in.  And let it suffice to say it costs a whole lot more than $1.99.  But I had absolutely no anxiety about that at all.

(OK, when I actually pay the bill I will wonder how I am going to come up with it.)

The difference is that in the first place I was being asked to buy a product and the product was for the purpose of external approval.

myspace glitter graphics
Glitter Graphics

The training program is part of a process.  The process is years of training, being in races, building and building, and all the while being passionate about the sport.

This process brings my daughter to have a strong ego, but more importantly she gains self-respect.  Not every race that she enters will go well.  Not every practice day will be fun and invigorating. 

But by looking at the process rather than simply looking at the end result or product, I feel great about paying for my daughters’ programs.

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Glitter Graphics

But that lip-gloss is still eating at me!

  

 

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