Great Weekend Celebrating 80 years-

November 10, 2008 at 11:04 am | Posted in dads, Families, moms, Mothers, parents, Self Esteem | Leave a comment
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

Happy Motivational Monday,

 

It’s been one terrific week for me.  The first thing I want to do is thank everyone who sent a birthday wish to my mother.  She was so honored by your responses.

 

Second I want to share what a week it has been. 

 

On Monday my 16 yo started her winter training.  This means she had to be in a number of places over the course of the day, but we were never quite sure where and when.

And the regular stuff of schooling my other girls, my work, and dance and hockey in the afternoon.

 

Tuesday brought on all of the Monday stuff and the addition of my eldest flying in from CA.  The airport is a 3+hr roundtrip.  Of course there was the election and results, which we all stayed up till 1 am to watch.

 

On Wednesday we had all that I have said going on + my eldest applying for jobs in NH.  (Which means she is serious about coming home to live.)

 

And during all this time I was making costumes for the relatives who were not so creative or handy or had enough time.  (That was the big laugh because I certainly don’t ever have time).  And getting messages from my sister about what we still needed to do for the party once we got to Plymouth, Mass.

 

Then came Thursday- First thing we (all of us) were off to the physical therapist to be sure my back would be OK for the weekend.  And as we went the car decided to go no faster than 45 mph.  I knew the car was a bit off.  I have gone 160,000 in it.  So after physical therapy we took it to the shop.  And had to find a ride home- 10 miles. 

 

In the afternoon it was confirmed the transmission was blown.  So added to everything was renting a vehicle. 

 

We rented a pick up.  My eldest was offered 4 positions in her field.  Everyone got to their programs and training.  My 16 yo got packed for her training out west.  Just the costumes didn’t get done.  And I was WAY over stressed.

 

Friday I worked on the costumes, while my 12 yo organized and packed the truck- we not only had our party stuff, weekend stuff, but both my eldest daughter’s traveling stuff, and we had my mother’s 80 years worth of pictures.  The pictures of course got to be in the cab.  But it was just ready to rain.  So the stress didn’t slide off as we went south.  After 2 hrs the rain came.  Not too bad, but enough to have to stop and get the 2 backpacks in the cab.  Now everyone but me had their knees in their ears to travel.  But we only had one more hr to go.

 

And when we got there everything was wonderful.  We had the pre-party at the hotel, where we all ate, took pictures of costumes, and talked, talked, talked. 

 

The real party was at the Plimouth Plantation itself.  My family went a little early.  We got the pictures set up; the tables decorated, and were ready when everyone arrived. 

 

After the dinner we had the skits and songs.  Lots of laughter, lots of memories, and lots of love.

 

And my mother blew out ALL 80 candles in one breath!  Yes she is very strong.

 

Saturday we toured the plantation, had lunch together and went on board the Mayflower II.  After all that I had to take my 16 yo to Boston airport to go out west for training.  I got back in time to join my mother, her 2 daughters (me being one of them), her 2 son-in-laws and all her five grandchildren went out to eat- just her immediate family. 

 

After dinner the 2 eldest grandchildren and my sister and brother-in-law went out dancing, while the rest of us went back to the hotel.

 

Sunday I had to take my eldest to the airport, and I drove back to NH with my two youngest.  Guess what?  I went to sleep just as soon as we got home. 

 

This morning I am thrilled to be able to remind you that you are just as amazing as my mother is.  You see, in her 80 years everything was not all roses.  She had so many downs you might think that she would have lost heart.  But she knew better.  Each time she fell off her horse, she jumped on another one.  She learned each time how to ride just a bit better, how to let go when necessary, but how to hold on to what was necessary.  Her life was a prime candidate for depression, remorse, whining, and complaining.  Boy, could she have been “the victim.”   She made the choice every time. 

 

So if you are off your horse today, out of sorts, not quite in gear, go get another horse.  Walk a while if you need to.  Keep your head up and love each of your children.  Someday they will be grown up and on their own.  

 

Choose this day so when you are 80, you and your family will rejoice and celebrate.

 

Take your time to parent with Passion, Purpose, and Integrity today,

 

Grace

Advertisements

Wake up and love this day

October 27, 2008 at 10:04 am | Posted in children, dads, Families, moms, Mothers, parents, Self Esteem | 2 Comments
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Wow.  It’s motivational Monday again. I always love this day:  starting off and writing to you about how you can motivate yourself to be the best parent possible.  How you can truly parent with passion, purpose, and integrity.

 

I am motivating you to find the sleeping spot in your life. Give it a twitch. Wake up and love this day.

 

This week I am going to start off with two requests.  If you read last weeks Motivational Monday message you know I urged you to take the plunge.  Start changing your parenting.  And I suggested one way was to work with me.

 

Well, I had not one plunge taker.  Which would be fine, except last week my last client graduated.  This puts me in an awkward position.  I need to have GEM Parenting grow.  Even though I would dearly love to simply give everything I have to you for free, our culture doesn’t work that way.  I have bills to pay in relation to GEM Parenting.

 

So I am asking you to do two things for me, very low budget.

 

First I want each of you to tell one friend about GEM Parenting and the Pearl memebership.

As a matter of fact if you go overboard and have five friends sign up for the Pearl membership between Oct. 27 and Nov. 2  I will have a teleclass for you and your friends at no cost, complete with action guide and article.

 

Just send them the link to GEMParenitng.com and urge them to sign up in the yellow box.

Then send me a list of whom you sent emails to.

And if you are new you can count yourself in too.

 

The second request I have will cost $6.00.  I want each of you to go the GEM Parenting store and actually purchase one podcast.  With most podcasts you get an action guide and an article written in conjunction with podcast topic.  There are currently 24 podcasts, so I am sure there is one that can boost your parenting.  And they cost as much as a Starbucks visit. 

 Just to go GEMParenting.com/store.htm

 

If you can’t afford this, either you are truly poor or you don’t really want to try and change your parenting.  

 

If you want to change but $6 is honestly beyond your budget then shoot me an email and I will work something out for you.

 

With these two steps you will be helping both yourself and GEM Parenting.  As you know I am not a sales person.  I don’t ask for much from you. You can step up to the plate now and make this change for both of us.

 

And tomorrow I will be writing about The Sleeping Foot Disorder of Parenting.

 

Now, right now, send an email to at least one friend inviting them to GEM Parenting

and if you haven’t joined yet go ahead and join.

And then go directly to the GEM store and get your podcast.

 

Thanks and know the change you make is for both you and GEM Parenting.

 

As always Parent with Passion, Purpose, and Integrity,

 

Grace           

PS If you have comments about this letter I would love you to share them.

 

 

What’s the Big 4th of July Party About Anyway?

July 3, 2008 at 6:22 am | Posted in children, dads, Families, moms, Mothers, parents | Leave a comment
Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

Independence day is all about the big party.  And just what is the big party all about?  Summer fun, being together as a family, watching the fireworks, and all those good barbeque happenings. 

 But why and when did this big party really start?  Well, it wasn’t when they signed the Declaration of Independence.  It was after a bunch of wars and restarts to our government. 

 It was after a long time and lots of hard changes of how people thought about themselves.  Two hundred years ago most people were not able to understand that they were truly entitled to freedom.  That the pursuit of happiness was everyone’s right.  They believed that they were in this life and station by birth.  That there were not many options available to them or most anyone they knew. 

 We have come such a long way.  Now it seems most natural that we can pursue happiness and of course we are entitled to our freedom.

 Unfortunately, we have gone too far.  We now think we are entitled to happiness, and freedom is a basic need, like food, water, and shelter.

 These are not basic to being alive.  It is your privilege and responsibility to own these rights that are ours as Americans. 

 You have two ways to do this:

 First, with your kids, teach and guide them to cherish their independence and ability to pursue their happiness.  This is such a great treasure we often over look it as parents. 

 Second, no matter what your political views are, take the weekend to honor your country.  Let your heart and mind find the joy of being an American.  Fill your soul with replenishing freedom. 

 And then when you are involved with the big birthday party you can really understand and celebrate with your whole self.

 Have a great weekend.

 Grace

Terrific Tuesday

June 24, 2008 at 10:02 am | Posted in children, dads, Families, moms, Mothers, parents, Self Esteem, Terrific Tuesday, Tweens | 2 Comments
Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

Terrific Tuesday

 When you are confused as to what and why you do things with your kids you are very likely to be caught in the product side of parenting.  You are trying to figure out what will be the best thing for your kid in the long run.  You are so confused with all the offerings that are available.  You really can’t figure out what to do.  Except try and see what others are doing and hope that since so many others are doing something that it must a good thing.  But will it really be the right thing for your kids?

 Just writing about this makes me dizzy.  And for you who is in the muddle of it all- Please notice muddle is on purpose- you are more than dizzy.  You are up at nights wondering and worrying if you have it right.  What can you do better.  Which choice should you make?  What is the best for your family?

 

Well, rather than get in this ridiculous bind you are in, step out.  You are in the product mode. You are looking at parenting as a mode to get a result, a product. When you switch to the process mode the answers are easy.  The time in the process is enlightening, and although there are still many challenges in front of you, the challenges are invigorating rather than energy depleting.

Enough of that and onto some of my own personal real life examples of using process rather than product parenting. 

 

One of my daughters is a dancer.  She dances four days a week in lessons and many days out of lessons.  And I have two daughters who love to dance, but not quite to the same extent.  This past weekend we just had their recital. 

 The dancers from age three to twenty were instructed in the joy and beauty of dance through out the year.  The actual practice of the recital dances began in early April for some and not until May for others.  The studio chooses to teach dance rather than recital performance. 

 

 As the classes get done learning their recital dances each class and all parents, siblings, and whoever else is around watches the dances.  This is great fun.  The girls love to watch the other dancers and they love to dance for each other. 

 

 Yes, this takes some time away from the “instruction.”  But it also prepares everyone for the actual show. 

 

 When the actual show happens there is one dress rehearsal on the stage the evening before the recital.  And for the past three years that I have been part of this, the whole time is spent in the splendor of being dancers rather than showing a product that is being performed. 

 

 From the director to the babies, there is an atmosphere of pleasure, excitement, and the love of doing ones best, and of course dancing.

 

 Oh, I completely forgot the costumes.  Each dancer gets a T-shirt.  It is a coveted shirt, with a simple design on it.   The colors have been magenta, teal blue, and this year black.  Yep.  Everyone has the same basic costume.  Then they elaborate with old-fashioned dress ups!!! Or maybe simple home made tie die shirts.

 

 And you know what happens?  The dancers are dancers.  They are not a part of the show.  The dancers are the show.  It seems weird for many of you that not having glitzy costumes and practicing for months on a single performance piece would create anything but second rate dancers. 

 

But let me tell you otherwise.  I have been involved with dance studios as a mother for about twenty years.  And as a dancer myself for about ten years.  That makes thirty years of connections with dance studios.  And this is the dance studio that children- boys and girls- can love to dance.

 

 Why? They teach dancing through the process.  The product of a “show” is not the integral or even important part of the studio ethics.  They teach and dance for the sheer joy of teaching and dancing. 

 

 Although the studio’s main concern is not about the future of the dancers, their desire is to have the dancers love to dance, every year there are seniors who go ff to college majoring in dance, kids who spend the summer at highly coveted places such as The Boston Ballet, The Philadelphia Ballet, and Steps on Broadway.

 

The result of process teaching is to have kids love doing what they are doing AND the result turns out to be wonderful.  Even though t is not the actual goal.

Take the step out and use process for your parenting.  The result, product, will happen anyway, so why not enjoy the journey?  Have peace and know that you are giving your children the special gift of living and loving the moment- With that they will live a life with high self-esteem void of the panic and worry that you have.

 

 Grace

 

 PS the studio is called Ninth State Dance Studio

You can check them out at theninthstate.com

 

I would love to hear about something in your parenting that is process rather than product oriented.  it really helps others when you share!

 

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.
Entries and comments feeds.