Wisdom Wednesday: Let Your Joy Out! The Joy of Parenting

June 10, 2008 at 11:09 pm | Posted in attitudes, children, dads, Families, Family Time, GEM Parenting Secrets, How To, moms, Mothers, parents, relationships, respect, Self Esteem, toddlers, Tweens, Wednesday Wisdom | 2 Comments
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Joy in life can be so fulfilling.  And joy in parenting can change the whole thing from a chore, an overwhelming confusion, an energy depleting life style to one with confidence, ease of making decisions, and feeling energized day in and day out.

Each morning I have a special routine to wake up my children.  I simply love how I wake them up.  And it is filled with joy.

The first child I wake up, who is the youngest, I give her kisses and kisses and kisses.  All over her adorable cutie pie face.  It never fails. We just love each other.  And there is nothing that stops the joy of being her mother when I do this. 

The next child is the teenager- a slightly Oh so much more difficult task.  I ease us into this.  I give her a gentle message.  I start with her head, do her neck and shoulders, her back and finish with her legs and feet.  And this is not a deep thorough message- it is truly an awakening.  And we both are full of joy from this simple routine. 

I save the hardest for last.  She is my sleeping angel.  And it is very hard for her to go from being asleep to being awake.  She has a special stuffy ( stuffed animal if  you did not know)  that helps to wake her up.  Lambie talks with her, hugs her, and asks her take to the bathroom and get her dressed.  (Just in case you don’t know this, I talk for Lambie.)  My sleeping angel gets to wake up to be in her imaginary world before she hits the real world.  Waking up is peaceful and you guessed it, full of joy.

My eldest daughter is now an adult on her own, but we had a routine that I still do when she comes to visit- and she does with her self most mornings.  I say good morning to each part of her- The same pattern as the message, but this is just a touch with me saying good morning head, good morning ears, good morning eyes, etc.

So each morning starts with joy.  No yelling, panicking.  And then we can get on with what the day has to offer.

Now guess how long all this takes?  With three kids I can be finished in ten minutes, or of course I can take a full half hour.  The choice is simple for me.  I can do that tension filled, pushy, anxiety filled that we are not going to be ready on time wake up- probably taking ten to fifteen minutes from the time I say get up to when the last is actually up- or I can do my routine.  Which would you pick?

Now if you want to start a better joy filled morning routine tell your kids you are going to do it.  And let them know that you are absolutely going to do this.  Be calm, firm, and realistic.  It will take both you and your kids some time to get from that state you are in now to what I do.  I have faith in you.  Try it a lot.  Let your joy out.  Be proud of it.  Let your joy engulf you.

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Motivational Monday: What is Natural Self-Esteem? A Short Overview

June 4, 2008 at 1:53 am | Posted in 1, attitudes, children, Creative Crayon Club, Families, Family Time, Fun Activities, GEM Parenting Secrets, How To, moms, Mothers, Motivational Monday, parents, peer pressure, relationships, respect, responsibilities, Safety, Self Esteem, teenagers, teens, Thoughtful Thursday, toddlers, Tweens, Wednesday Wisdom, Welcome | 2 Comments
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Welcome to GEM Parenting.

We just finished Teenager Month.

But don’t worry, if you missed the month just go to http://www.GEMParenting.com to find everything you missed.

Thanks to those of you who answered the survey.  I learned some practical and useful things from you.  And will be implementing your ideas in the near future. “What is Positive Intervention and how to implement it?” and ” What is real time out and how does it work” are the two teleclasses you want the most. The least desired was “Outdoor fun and safety.”  This is too bad for me because I love this topic.  Instead we will have “Fool Proof Net Safety” 

I will be sending information with the subject line: Parents of Teens – So only open if you are one – about a teleclass especially for you.  (You have to be a Pearl Member to get the discount. To join this complimentary membership click on Pearl Membership on our website at http://www.GEMParenting.com).  

But what I learned more than anything was that very few people actually understand what GEM Parenting is REALLY about. 

Although we do give good sound advice about parenting, asking in experts for GEM Parenting Secrets, giving you referrals to books and programs we think are valuable, having teleclasses and podcasts, our real secret is that everything we do is to help you understand how to raise your children with natural high self esteem. 

Surprisingly to me, many people don’t understand what the real value of doing everything you can to ensure your child has natural high self-esteem. 

Everything from your child’s attitude, morals and values, health, ability to succeed, desire to achieve, even life span, are directly effected by self-esteem.

I will be discussing the issues connected with natural high self-esteem through this newsletter over the next few weeks in lieu of GEM Parenting Secrets Teleclasses.

Does your child have low self-esteem?  Do you know the difference between raising high self-esteem and boosting ego?  Do you have any idea how to energize your child’s self-esteem?  Do you know how to use positive intervention and eliminate negative discipline?  Do you know that raising your child with high self-esteem will ease your life as well?  Your stress and anxieties will vanish as your child’s self-esteem soars.  Your child will be able to participate and engage in life on a level that is void of self-doubt and insecurities-for life.

The first tip you need to know is that the process is the most important aspect of your child’s life.  It is not the product that s/he produces.  The product is irrelevant if the process is not your child’s. 

Think back to your own childhood.  Everything you did was not about the product.  When you were a kid you wanted to get muddy, make something, eat your ice cream just the way you wanted (and maybe that meant getting it all over your face and down your front.) 

You may have been allowed to grow up this way, but my guess is that your parents were more concerned about the product-how neat you were, how accomplished you were, what grades you got- rather than the process of getting to being neat, getting to being accomplished, being educated regardless of good grades.  And if you did not live up to the desired product level, you were made to feel bad in one way or another.

And this is why parenting for you is such a struggle.

You would not have come to GEM Parenting (or any other site) if you were not struggling with parenting.  And I believe the bottom line of raising children is to ensure you create, instill, and maintain high self-esteem in your children.

Does your parenting style ensure you are raising your child with high self-esteem?  Please share its time we had some lively responses.  With over three thousand visitors someone has got to have something to say!

Tickle me Tuesday

One thing people have asked me to do is write a bit about some personal incidences-both about me, and people I have worked with.  So, I will venture out here.  Check out last Saturday’s post for the first one.

We will also have a book we recommend.  Only need to go to GEM Parenting to find out what it is.

Wednesday Wisdom

This Wednesday you are going to get the first installation of the real heart and soul of GEM Parenting.  An article you can get some real value from.

Thoughtful Thursday

Another slice of what it is like to be mom with high self-esteem raising kids with high self-esteem.

Follow Up Friday

 This is when you get to ask your questions.  And I am put on the spot to come up with answers to help you.  Of course some people sort of cheat and send their questions in ahead of time- I honor the first to come in by answering it first.

And how, when, and where does this happen?

How– It’s simple-blog talk radio.

You can listen, call in your question, or type into the chat session.

When– Friday at 9:30

Wherehttp://www.blogtalkradio.com/gemparenting

And of course Saturday is

Creative Crayon Club

My favorite day of the week!  I will give you fun, simple, and inexpensive activities to do with your children.  You know, good old fashioned family fun.

Enjoy your week!

 

Teriffic Tuesday: Promoting Genuine Self-Esteem in Your Child

May 13, 2008 at 6:49 am | Posted in 1, children, Creative Crayon Club, dads, Families, Family Time, Focused Fridays, GEM Parenting Secrets, Health, How To, moms, Mothers, parents, relationships, Self Esteem, siblings, spirituality, teens, toddlers, Tweens, Wednesday Wisdom | Leave a comment
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Promoting Genuine Self-Esteem In Your Child

 Promoting self-esteem in children is an ongoing process for parents. By adding just one word-genuine-the focus is sharpened and the process is more clearly defined. Genuine self-esteem is based on true worth and accomplishment, whereas ‘inflated’ self-esteem, the opposite, results from heaped on, baseless praise. Promoting inflated self-esteem is easy. Promoting genuine self-esteem requires a little more thought and planning. Here are three big steps parents can take to facilitate the process: Accept, Support and Respect. As the first two are closely related, we’ll discuss them together.

 ACCEPT and SUPPORT.

 Accept and support your child. As a parent, you are your child’s most important significant other. More than anyone else, you help to establish how your child feels about himself. School personnel, family, and peers have some influence on your child, but yours is the most important. So, how do you help him feel good about himself? By genuinely accepting and supporting your child for whom he is. Here’s how.

  •  DO let your child know you think he’s great. Self-esteem grows through your words and actions. Use language that will build his self-esteem: “What a great idea!” “I’m proud to be your mom/dad.” “I can depend on you.” And, be sure your actions support your message.

 Children use us as mirrors. If we think and convey to them that they are wonderful, they will think and believe that they are wonderful. If we think and tell them they are stupid, they will think and believe they are stupid. Our children internalize our words and actions.

  • DO accept your child’s inherited physical endowments. Nobody, thank goodness, is physically perfect. So encourage your child to accept his or her physical appearance. Children are acutely self-conscious about their physical selves-a girl might be embarrassed by her large nose, a boy about his pimples. Your child might even hate the very qualities you find adorable-his big ears, or her curly hair-so convey your acceptance of his or her physical endowments. You might be quite proud of your child just the way he is. But does your child know this? He needs to, even when nothing out of the ordinary is happening. Remind him every day that you support him, and show him the same through your actions.
  • DO be open and available. Are you approachable? When you are working at home, watching television, or doing housework, is your body language telling your child that you don’t want to be bothered? Or are you showing her that you will listen if she has a problem? Of course, there are times when you are doing something important or taking care of your own needs. You can’t be accessible twenty-four hours a day, and you don’t have to be a problem-solver all the time, but you do need to be someone your child can count on to talk to when the need arises. It will help her just to know you’re there, ready to listen and not judge. If a child perceives that a parent is too busy, disinterested, or annoyed to hear her, then her problems, no matter how trivial they may seem to adults, may overwhelm her.
  • DO recognize and applaud effort. Did your child bungle an art project? Miss a ground ball in a baseball game? Spill a mixing bowl while trying to make cake batter? You know that the effort he puts into the activity is far more important than the success or failure of it, but he probably doesn’t know that. So tell him! Even better than saying, “That’s okay, it’s the effort that counts,” would be to say, “I’m proud of you for trying to make a cake; most kids your age would never tackle that. And you got the ingredients just right!” or “I can see that you threw away the art project you started. I’m sorry you didn’t like it. But I’m proud that you took on such a difficult task.”
  • DO be receptive and helpful with your child’s personal problems, and seek help from professionals when appropriate. It takes only a few minutes each day to ask how your child feels and then listen attentively to what he or she says. Instead of asking general questions about school activities, for example, you could try drawing out your child to see if there are any personal problems you are unaware of. So instead of asking, “How was school today?” you might ask, “Was school better today? Yesterday you said that your teacher kept you in during recess. Did you go out today?” If the answer is yes or no, try to ask more leading questions, such as “What changed today that made things better (or worse)?” and then continue from there. Or, instead of asking, “Did you do your homework?” try asking something like “You said last week that you had a history report due. How is it coming?” If it seems that things are not going well, you may want to offer help or suggest some alternative strategies such as after-school assistance or engaging the services of a capable teenager or professional tutor.
  • DO offer opportunities to pursue individual interests. Your child can’t find areas to explore her individuality if she is not exposed to different activities. When notices for clubs or sports leagues are posted or handed out in school, encourage your child to enroll if she shows an interest. And get her presents that suit her interests. If she is interested in building, why buy her dolls? Children are often scared to try new things. By encouraging (but not forcing) them to try out new activities, we can help them discover areas in which they may express their individuality.
  • DO encourage your child to evaluate the opinions and values of others instead of submissively adopting them. It’s a sign of low self-esteem when a child accepts without question other people’s ideas and values. Encourage your child to weigh each situation instead of mindlessly going along with the decisions or opinions of others. At the same time, encourage him to seek support for his own ideas. This way, your child will learn to determine whether or not a value or opinion is of worth to him, and thereby gain power over his own decisions. This will help his self-esteem as a child, and will serve him well when he is older, when more potentially damaging ideas (such as drug use, sex, or prejudice, for example) will be presented to him.

 RESPECT

 Let’s turn to the third step, respect. Respect your child and she will learn to respect you. This old tale, “The King and His Sons,” says it well.

One rainy day, the king took a walk with his two children. He held an umbrella in each hand to cover and protect each child. A bystander approached and said, “Why are you protecting your children from the rain? You are the king! They should be protecting you.” His highness sagely replied, “If I do not show them respect, how will they learn to respect me? How will they learn to respect others? How will they learn to respect themselves?”

When children are treated with respect, they learn to respect themselves and others. So treat your child as you expect to be treated. Respect that is genuine, and not simply permissive, promotes self-esteem. It satisfies your child’s esteem needs. It makes her feel important-that you hold her in high esteem, and that you value and respect her as a person.

There are many ways you can show your child respect through your actions and words. Here are some important things to keep in mind.

  • DO NOT berate. Berating a child models negative behavior; it does not help her to learn, and it shows her total disrespect. For example, a parent who is helping a child to study for a test might make such berating comments as, “We just did this! What are you, stupid? You’re just not paying attention. Now pay attention!” By the end of the session, usually the child is crying and the parent is screaming. And the child may be heard the next day yelling at her classmate, “What are you, stupid?”
  • DO NOT be sarcastic. Sarcastic remarks are transparent ways of putting someone down, and if directed toward your child, she’ll know it. Many parents don’t realize that the processes of growth and change take time, and their own frustration causes them to resort to sarcasm. But if you show a lack of respect for your child, she will feel unworthy and less motivated to succeed.
  • DO ask your child to do grown-up tasks. There are many opportunities to do so. Asking him to do one at a critical time in his development may be a memorable gift you can give to him. At that moment, he has your respect and trust; he is someone. For example, when the need arises, ask him to answer the phone for you. Even if he forgets to write the person’s name next to the number, let him know that you appreciate his help. Next time the situation arises simply remind him to write down both the name and number. This way, he’ll learn the same lesson without feeling like a failure.
  • DO control your anger. Whether over homework or other issues, many parents become so angry with their children that they end up physically or verbally abusing them. When you get angry at your child, keep this in mind: If you respect someone, do you hit him? Do you curse at him? Do you insult him? Whenever you use physical force or verbal attacks against your child, you show a blatant disregard for his rights and teach him that this is the proper way to express anger and settle disputes. You teach him that it is okay to act on his feelings, when in fact it should be your goal to teach him to think first, and think clearly, before he acts.
  • DO be sure your child is being treated respectfully at school. Not only is it important for you to treat your child with respect; it is also important to be sure that your child is being treated respectfully at school.

As your child’s number-one advocate, be sure she is treated respectfully, both at home and at school. For the most part, teachers and other school personnel are wonderful, hard-working people who care about education and children. But sometimes they too need to be informed. If you see that your child is not being treated with the respect she deserves, call her teacher. Chances are he or she is unaware of your child’s problem and will appreciate your call.

  • DO respect one another. Within a family, parents and children need to strive to develop a mutual respect, which in time extends beyond the family. This is an ongoing process which involves parental role modeling (and usually an endless supply of parental patience and self-control).

Respect is often tested when children slip-up. How parents deal with these slip-ups delivers long lasting messages. Better than flying off the handle on the one hand, or merely shrugging the incidents off on the other, is for parents to deal with each situation, and those involved, in a respectful manner. This involves looking into the causes behind each situation, exploring options, and discussing alternative actions the child could have taken-in other words, maintaining respect. Therefore, when your child experiences some trouble in school, before you begin yelling or punishing, think about what you want to teach her.

In conclusion, in that you as a parent are your child’s most important significant other, you more than anyone else help to establish how your child feels about himself. If you genuinely accept, support and respect your child, and show it through your words and actions, then you are sowing the seeds of genuine self-esteem.

Copyright © 2008 Linda Silbert, Ph.D., and Alvin J. Silbert, Ed.D., all rights reserved.

Why Bad Grades Happen to Good Kids (Beaufort Books, NY, August 2007) came out to rave reviews by parents, teachers, physicians, and other professionals. The book introduces the “groundbreaking” STRONG method, a proven approach that empowers parents and teachers to help struggling students. By focusing on the six areas of the acronym STRONG — Self-esteem, Trust, Responsibility, Options, Needs, Goals — the reader learns how to identify the actual causes of a myriad of school problems and learn proven techniques to resolve them. This little book will surely make school days and home nights “a whole lot better.” The Silberts are founders/directors of STRONG Learning Centers® in New York. They’ve written over 40 books and 20 phonics games for children of all ages. To learn more about their STRONG method and their books and learning centers, visit their web site at www.oureducationalbooks.com. To subscribe to their free e-zine, send a blank email to: subscribe@stronglearning.com

Terrific Tuesday: Life Matters…A Mother’s Value

May 5, 2008 at 11:19 pm | Posted in 1, children, Families, Family Time, moms, Mothers, parents, relationships, teens, toddlers | Leave a comment
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LIFE MATTERS
A Mother’s Value

By Mark D. Todhunter, M.A 
 


 

 

 

The day starts many different ways for mothers. Sometimes it is with a whimper and a cry, sometimes the sound of little feet moving around the house, or sometimes it’s that long drawn out familiar call of “Mommmm-meeeeeeeee.” But whatever may be your child’s attention getter of choice, it is the beginning of a new workday.

 
Unlike your childless counterparts that still have two hours to groom, primp, and adorn themselves, your time card is punched immediately and you get to squeeze those personal hygienic activities between glasses of juice, sagging diapers, and spilt Cheerios and milk. Once your charges have been properly nutritionalized with a breakfast fit for champions, and you have managed to run a brush through your hair a couple of times, you throw on your personal stylist hat. Rummaging through drawers and closets you seek out those perfect matching outfits, complete with socks and hats that will leave your children the talk of the playgroup.
 
But wait, there seems to be dissension among the ranks. Nobody wants to wear what you have picked out. Have they some how forgotten that you have a keen eye for fashion and have even attended seminars to be able to distinguish between a summer and an autumn? Remembering that you read somewhere along the way that giving your children choices was the key. Thinking quickly, you jump into your negotiator shoes and whip out an optional outfit for each of your children; you think the problem is solved. After ten minutes of further wrangling, you finally give in and settle on the Spiderman tshirt that has been worn for three days in a row for your son, and the pink tutu with the green princess shoes for your daughter.
 
Once the children have been proper stylized, you jump through the bathroom door and give your hair a 30 second tease and run your brush through it a couple more times. You then start herding kids to the door grabbing what ever necessities you can see or remember and lock the door behind you.
 
Playgroup brings out your more refined skills of police officer, judge, and jury. After a total of six disputes, four trips to time-out, and one physical assault, you have your chauffeur gloves back on, kids loaded, and headed for home.
 
Once in the house, your deli shop opens and you begin making lunches. Of course your customers are very particular and only will accept the perfect lunch. The tricky part is that last week it was a turkey sandwich with Miracle Whip with the turkey pulled off, and this week it is a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, but not cut.
 
Once the deli closes it is a chance for your first break when the kids go down for naps. Of course during your break you want to take advantage of the kid free time to do a couple of little things, i.e. pay a few bills, do the grocery list, throw in some laundry, pick up some toys and dust a bit, wash the breakfast and lunch dishes, make the bed, and fold the laundry that was in the dryer.
 
Just as you are headed for the couch to sit for the remainder of the kid’s naps, you here that very familiar call of the wild, “Mommmm-meeeeeeeee.”
With a smile and a deep sigh, you pick yourself up and move toward the rest of the day which includes adventures in the great backyard, running the family restaurant, washing the dishes, giving baths, reading stories, and of course, hugs and kisses as you lay them down for the night.
 
For all you mothers out there that make it happen every day so your kids get the best of you, I want to salute you. And I especially want to salute the mother that makes it happen for my children, thank you.
 
I also want to encourage you by letting you know that Salary.com has estimated that a fair wage for the typical stay-at-home mother would be about $150,579 a year. But the wage for being a Mommy….PRICELESS!
 
You can visit Mark Todhunter’s website at MarkTodhunter.com to email, or make comments and suggestions.
 
 
Mark Todhunter is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Professional Life Coach, Conference and Seminar speaker, and columnist and have worked with couples, families and children for the past 22 years
 

Motivational Monday: Parenting Teens with Attitudes

May 5, 2008 at 11:03 pm | Posted in 1, children, Creative Crayon Club, dads, Families, Family Time, Focused Fridays, Fun Activities, GEM Parenting Secrets, Health, How To, marriage, Mothers, Motivational Monday, parents, relationships, Self Esteem, siblings, spirituality, sports, teens, Thoughtful Thursday, toddlers, Tweens, Wednesday Wisdom, Welcome | 2 Comments
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What a week this is going to be!

I know that anyone with teenagers can and does have the “attitude” issue.  I know from personal as well as professional experience.  I have a teenager right now, and I have a daughter well past being a teenager.  And of course I have worked with many, many teenagers.

So sit tight back and check out what we are going to do this week to help you to get rid of teenage attitude.

I am thrilled because I have been asked to be a guest on Tame the Teenager Series.  It will be replacing my regular GEM Parenting Secrets-Live with Grace-Wed evening program.

Check it out at: http://www.GEMParenting.com

In this hour-long teleseminar I will be discussing:

What are the six main dilemmas facing parents of teens these days?

1 Peer Pressure
2 Media Influence and pressure
3 Friends changing-
4 Education tracks
5 Drugs/Sex/Alcohol/Shoplifting
6 How to set limitations, guidelines, and still create more freedom

And I know if you have a teenager right now you have got to be worried about some or all of these dilemmas.  And if you are coming up to teenage parenting why not get acquainted with the problems before they are in your house.

Remember as a parent of a teen you may not actually like what your child is doing, but your responsibility is to nurture, protect and love your child.  And with these in action as well as mind you will help your teen learn to live with confidence, make appropriate decisions, and have reasonable self expectations.  And you will live the peace of mind that you are on top of things, not somehow lost at sea, waiting till the teen years are over, and hoping to land at a nice beach.

Terrific Tuesday 

Mark Todhunter who is hosting Tame the Teenager will be sharing his expertise about teen issues and solutions.

Wednesday Wisdom

We call this Wednesday Wisdom because this is the day you get the real GEM Parenting Wisdom.  In the morning you can come check out the article that I have written.  And in the evening you can come join us for Live With Grace- GEM Parenting Secrets.

I am really excited about this topic- Tame the Teenager- and thrilled to be a guest expert of Mark Todhunter.  I am going to share with you all about the six main dilemmas facing parents of teens these days.  Most of the answers are just what is concerning you. 

1 Peer Pressure
2 Media Influence and pressure
3 Friends changing-
4 Education tracks
5 Drugs/Sex/Alcohol/Shoplifting
6 How to set limitations, guidelines, and still create more freedom

This will be a lively discussion, with the opportunity to have your personal questions answered and elaborated upon.  If you are a teen or preteen parent you have got to join us.  If you don’t it is not our fault when things screw up and you are so lost you can’t figure how to even be in the same room with your teen. 

This teleseminar will be at 8:00pm eastern/5:00pm pacific.

To register for free and to get call in information for all four classes in May, please type your first name and email address below.

First Name:
 
Email Address:
 
 

And since I am the guest there is no charge for this.  (Even though our normal charge in minimal-it just helps with overhead)

And you can be anywhere with a phone, so you don’t need to worry about what to wear or worry about much.  A teleseminar is simply a seminar done by phone.

Thoughtful Thursday

Now if you simply can’t make the live teleseminar, we will have the podcast available for you on Thursday.  And if you are unsure of what a podcast is, it is a recording that you can down load to your computer or mp3 player.  This means you can listen to it at your leisure-while sweating away at the gym, taking a calm walk, driving wherever you go, or curled up in your jammies with a cup of relaxing tea.

Feedback Friday

You have got to come back because I almost always have a few more thoughts I didn’t get in or new thoughts that came to me after I was done, and of course this is the day I have answers to the question you have sent in.  Now is a really good time to send in your question about Taming the Teenager. 

And just to let you know, next week I am going to be talking about what to do if your kid did not do well in school this year.  So if you have concerns about this send in those questions as well.

There is no better way for me to help you than for you to send me your questions and concerns.  And that is my number one goal-help you be a happy, relaxed, reliable and responsible parent.  So please take a moment and send me your question.

And of course Saturday is…

Creative Crayon Club

Here I am going to provide you with activities and ideas you can do with your teenagers that will spark their imagination, make you look like a totally cool parent, build your new bond, and help you stay the responsible parent that I know you can be.

 

 

Creative Crayon Club: Spring Sports and Children’s Morals

May 2, 2008 at 11:05 pm | Posted in children, Creative Crayon Club, dads, Family Time, Fun Activities, GEM Parenting Secrets, How To, moms, Mothers, parents, Safety, Self Esteem, sports, teens, toddlers, Tweens, Welcome | Leave a comment
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Creative Crayon Club

This week take time to be unorganized with your child’s sport. If your child plays soccer be a little early for a practice and just kick the ball around for fun. Try going for a walk with a soccer ball that you and your child pass.

Don’t worry if you are not good. The point is to have fun.

Other fun slightly organized games for multiple ages and abilities:

Kick the Can

This is my own all time favorite and it is my family’s fave as well!

What you need:

And old coffee can

(Nowadays you should put duct tape around the top edge, but in my day we just kicked the can till it fell apart)

Space with hiding spots

Jail

Players- about 5 at least – 10 is a great number

What you do:

One person is the can kicker

One person is “It”

The others are hiders

It covers eyes.

Can kicker kicks can. Warn kicker to kick it away from It and other children

It counts to twenty (or appropriate number for your group)

Can kicker and other children hide during counting.

It gets can and puts it near jail.

It looks for children.

When It finds someone he/she yells his or her name and races for the can.

The found child races for the can as well.

If It gets to can first found child goes to jail.

If found child gets to can first, he/she kicks can-away from children/jail

and all children in jail go free.

It puts can back and starts again.

If one child is It for too long, then have a drink/snack break, rather than just switching things around.

Enjoy your weekend with the kids!

Motivational Monday: Spring Sports

April 27, 2008 at 11:43 pm | Posted in children, Creative Crayon Club, dads, Families, Family Time, Focused Fridays, Fun Activities, GEM Parenting Secrets, moms, Mothers, Motivational Monday, parents, relationships, Safety, Self Esteem, siblings, sports, teens, Thoughtful Thursday, toddlers, Tweens, Wednesday Wisdom, Welcome | 1 Comment
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It is great that you are here for Motivational Monday.

These days it is quite common for our children to be involved in sports-at least one a season.  And let me tell you, there are wonderful aspects of sports.  But there are also parts of these organized sports that simply cause despair and low self-esteem.  That is the side of spring sports we are going to deal with.  Right now while you are in the thick of it.

One tip for today:  If your child is feeling inadequate because of other teammates, tell a story of yourself or a grandparent who had a similar experience.  The purpose of the story is to let your child know you understand what they are going through and you are here to help.  We’ll be talking about how to help and what to avoid.  We want sports to be fun, challenging, invigorating, and self-esteem building.

Join us this week for GEM Parenting Secrets to help the rest of the season be a positive and uplifting experience for your child.

                               

Tickle Me Tuesday

Come back to see what other experts have to say about keeping moral high when doing sports.

Wisdom Wednesday

I have four children who are avid sports enthusiasts.  I am the epitome of the sports mom.  My car is a locker room, we have cleats in every size available, snacks are always needed for energy, and my weekends and afternoons are spent running to and from practices and games.  In all of this I have kept a clear vision that sports are fun, challenging, invigorating, and self-esteem building.  I am going to share both personal and professional ideas to help you have good moral from sports in my article.  If you are having trouble with sports now, come back to read the article!

GEM Parenting Secrets this Wednesday

Is at 8:30 eastern, 5:30 pacific

This week’s title is Sports and Good Moral

I will be discussing how sports can and does have tremendous effect on your child’s self-esteem.  We will look at strategies that will alleviate stress and bring the fun back to the sport.  How to have sports increase your child’s self esteem rather than leave your child torn and tattered after every game and practice.

For only $6 you can join this teleseminar and find out the best ways to decrease the negative impact of sports on your children, help them feel satisfied and desire to have fun, be challenged and increase their self-esteem through sports. Have your children learn from sports how to take a difficult situation and turn it into a positive growing experience.  Give both you and your children the courage and peace that comes with doing a job well done.  And best of all you give your family the opportunity to develop high self-esteem and bring out the beautiful Gem that is within each member of your family.

As a registered participant you will have the opportunity to ask your personal questions.  Send them in advance of the teleseminar.  You will benefit you family’s self esteem, increase the joys of being n sports, and decrease the stress involved with having kids who love sports but are being crushed by them.

                        

Thoughtful Thursday

The podcast of Sports and Good Moral becomes available.  This is an audio recording of the teleseminar.  You can purchase the recording if you can’t attend the teleseminar.  The recording can be downloaded to your computer or favorite mp3 player.  This way you can listen to the recording at any time you want.

Sneak Preview for Next Week:  Tame the Teenager- I am the guest expert.

My topic will be Teenage Good Behavior Through High Self-Esteem

Send in your questions, today, so I can be sure to address your personal concerns grace@gemparenting.com

Friendly Friday

I call this Friendly Friday because this is the day that I answer questions you have sent in.  So if you have a question I can only answer it if you send it in.  I would urge you to send in the question right now to grace@gemparenting.com.

Creative Crayon Club                                         

Saturday we have fun activities so you and your family can kick back and relax.  These activities will bring peace and harmony to your home and help increase your family’s self-esteem.

We will also share products and programs that coincide with Spring Sports and Good Moral

Hope you have a great week and we at GEM Parenting can assist you in your journey to parent with passion, purpose, and integrity.  Remember we believe at GEM Parenting, every child is a GEM

Enjoy your week!

Tickle Me Tuesday: Do We Expect Too Much of Our Kids?

April 22, 2008 at 12:23 am | Posted in children, dads, Families, moms, Mothers, parents, Self Esteem, siblings, toddlers, Tweens | Leave a comment
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Do we expect too much of our kids? Too little?

Both, actually. Our expectations of children start as fantasies when we are children ourselves. “I’m going to have one boys and two girls.” The fantasies become moreserious during pregnancy as we dream of the child-to-be.

In the newborn period, sleep-deprived as we are, we think about our baby’s future. Like a parent in Garrison Keillor’s Lake Woebegone where all the children are above average, we have dreamy expectations of our little offspring. We expect our child to be the first on the block to achieve developmental milestones; to excel at school; to have a great personality and be liked by every peer; to be physically coordinated, athletic, and a good sport; and to be of good character, never tell a lie or bully another kid, or smoke pot.

Well, folks, these expectations ain’t going to come to pass for all of us. Reality always trumps dreamy expectations. In general, parental expectations fall into two categories: expecting too much of our children and expecting too little.

Parents tend to expect behaviors before the child is developmentally ready. For example they expect a toddler to share toys in play group, siblings to always get along, kids to remember what we said. Such parents are expecting too much of their kids. They are being unrealistic and are also worried. “Why doesn’t Max listen to me? What’s wrong with him?”

Parents also expect too little in some pretty crucial areas. We don’t expect young children to do chores and gradually assume their own responsibility for stuff like chores and homework so we keep reminding them. We don’t expect babies to selfcalm so we rock them to sleep or let them fall asleep at the breast long after they should be learning their own sleep associations.

The best way to develop realistic expectations is to pay attention to the child’s temperament and personality and learn a bit about child development. Parent in the moment. Don’t worry about what you or the child did wrong yesterday, don’t worry about how the child is going to turn out tomorrow. Think about parenting today in as realistic a way as possible.

ParentKidsRight

Marilyn Heins, M.D., F.A.A.P.

Marilyn has written over 800 parenting columns published in the Arizona Daily Star. The column originally appeared in 1989 in the Food and More section, however the Star found reader response so strong that it moved the column to the Sunday Accent section, with its larger circulation. The column is often listed in the newspaper’s front section as one of the highlights of the Sunday paper.

 

 

 

 

http://www.parentkidsright.com

Motivational Monday: Too Much Stuff and Not Enough Responsibility

April 21, 2008 at 12:03 am | Posted in 1, children, dads, Families, moms, Mothers, parents, Self Esteem, siblings, toddlers, Tweens | Leave a comment
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It is a pleasure to have you join GEM Parenting For Motivational Monday

Ever wonder why your children can’t be responsible?  You find that no matter what you do they just seem to ignore responsibility?  Dr. Marilyn Heins has an idea about this, and I totally agree with her.  She thinks we have too much stuff and too much stuff is bringing your children away from the ability to be responsible.  Try for a short period of time (like an hour or afternoon) to be with your child and reduce the stuff interference.  Can’t figure out how to do it?

Join GEM Parenting Secrets this week to talk with Dr. Heins and discover her simple yet specific ideas of how and why too much stuff stops your child from being responsible

                                                

Tickle Me Tuesday

Dr. Heins has sent an article that we will share with you.  You can even download it an read at your leisure.

Wisdom Wednesday

I have to say, I am passionate about our society having too much stuff, especially our children.  I see we are bombarded with the media to buy, buy , buy.  We are taught to never be satisfied and the only way to have any form of satisfaction is to buy something else.  This mentality only creates and reinforces other dependent-esteem, which automatically reduces self-esteem.  I will have my article to share with you on this topic.  Get ready because I have some very strong opinions about this!

GEM PARENTING SECRETS PRESENTS:

TOO MUCH STUFF and NOT ENOUGH RESPONSIBILITY

GEM Parenting Secrets Teleseminar

With Guest Speaker
Dr. Marilyn Heins

She is the founder of www.parentkidsright.com
and author of ParenTips for Effective, Enjoyable Parenting

Set Your Calendar for this
Live Teleseminar

Date: Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Time: 4:00 p.m. Eastern/1:00 p.m. Pacific

Dr. Marilyn Heins and I will discuss why and how too much stuff reduces your child’s ability to be responsible. What you can do to bring responsibility to your children without having to throw away everything you just spent thousands of dollars to acquire.

For only $6.00 you can join this teleseminar and find out the best ways to increase responsibility in your children, help them feel satisfied, and desire to be responsible. By having your children become responsible, you give both you and your children the courage and peace that comes with doing a job well done. And best of all, it will give you and your family the opportunity to develop high self-esteem and bring out the beautiful Gem that is within each member of your family.

Join GEM Parenting Teleseminar

 

 

As a registered participant you will have the opportunity to ask your questions directly to Dr. Heins or send them in advance of the telesminar.  You will benefit you family’s self-esteem, increase responsibility, and decrease the stress involved with having kids who are irresponsible.

By the way, GEM Parenting Secrets will resume at – 8:30 pm Eastern next week.

 

               

Thoughtful Thursday

GEM Parenting Secrets with Dr. Marilyn Heins is going to be a fantastic discussion!  Even if you miss the live teleseminar, you can get the podcast on Thursday.  Then, even for those who have attended, you can down load the podcast to your favorite mp3 player and replay what you really need to understand.

Dr. Heins knows her stuff.

Sneak preview for next week…

Spring Sports-Too much pressure?  Not enough fun?  Surprise guest expert!

Send in your questions today so we can be sure to address your personal concerns.  Send them to me directly at grace@gemparenting.com

Creative Crayon Club

Saturday we have fun activities so you and your family can kick back and relax.  These activities will bring peace and harmony to your home and help increase your family’s self-esteem.

                                               

We will also share products and programs that coincide with TOO MUCH STUFF and NOT ENOUGH RESPONSIBILITY.

Hope you have a great week and we at GEM Parenting can assist you in your journey to parent with passion, purpose, and integrity.  Remember we believe at GEM Parenting, every child is a GEM.

 

Saturday – Creative Crayon Club

April 18, 2008 at 11:55 pm | Posted in 1, children, Creative Crayon Club, dads, Families, Family Time, Focused Fridays, Fun Activities, GEM Parenting Secrets, Health, moms, Mothers, parents, Self Esteem, siblings, toddlers, Tweens | 1 Comment
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Huge flowers

 

What you need:

  • Large cheap white paper plates
  • Crayons, markers, colored pencils
  • Tacky glue, stapler, tape
  • Dowel about two feet long or a straight stick from outside

 What you do:

  • Cut the ridges off a plate to make a flat disk
  • Cut petal shapes from other plates (You need to have one end pointed and the other wider, like a leaf)
  • Color petals and disk
  • Attach the petals to the disk (You can tape, staple, or tacky glue them).  It is best to have the disk in front.  If you have a rod you can color it green
  • Attach the flower to the rod
Again with any method you choose.  For a twist find a stick outside to use.  If you want, make leaves from the plates and attach them to the dowel.

Now you have a giant flower!

 Sugar Cookie Flowers

 What you need:

  • Sugar cookie dough.  Either store bought or homemade
  • Cookie sticks (sold at craft stores)
  • White frosting
  • Small bowls
  • Food coloring
  • Helpful to have: Plastic placemats

What you do:

  • Put plastic placemats down to help with clean up
  • Roll cookie dough out
  • Either use flower shaped cookie cutter or a large glass and cut scalloped edges
  • Bake according to directions
  • When cool, decorate with frosting.  Put frosting in bowls, mix in food coloring-using separate utensils for each color
  • Decorate the cookies

 Enjoy on any spring day!         

  

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