how movies are killing your teen daughters

February 17, 2010 at 6:29 am | Posted in 1 | Leave a comment
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Beware of what goes on in the movies your kids watch- Its their life that gets affected!

“At a time in their development where children and adolescents are very susceptible to outside influences, we have to carefully examine the influence of all the factors that are combining to create what may

end up being lifelong habits around food and lifestyle choices.” Sutherland who was part of a team of advisers that, in 2006, helped to develop the Guiding Stars program used by supermarkets to help shoppers better identify the nutritional values of food products.
It’s these super simple subliminal- That means you don’t know they are happening- messages that get your teen girls.  Its really critical that you understand that the simplest little placement in a movie can hook your teen for life in a bad habit-  If you know about how this works and why- you are so less apt to get hooked.

In the article it states-

“Although the impact of this type of advertising on children is not fully known, it provides a likely avenue by which brand loyalty and product preference can be built.”

I’d have to say this is total crap-  These companies and advertisers know full well what they are doing-  They would never pay to have their product in strategic points of the movies if they did not fully expect the results they get.  And somehow the public thinks-“Well if there isn’t a study saying its happening it must be OK.”

Look-advertisers want your girls  to buy their product.  They really don’t care if its going to be unhealthy, ruin their self-esteem, or anything like that.  Most want your girls to get hooked on their product.  And they look to kids-  ESPECIALLY TEEN GIRLS – HEY WAKE UP CALL that’s YOUR DAUGHTER- to get them to be life long supporters of their products.

Why girls?  Lots of reasons-  Here’s a few- see if any resonate with you.

  1. Girls are more out there verbally
  2. Girls are leaders of trends
  3. Girls buy more than guys
  4. Girls are more effected by outside pressures
  5. Girls are more easily influenced
  6. Girls have more self-esteem issues

And here’s one you may not know about but its HUGE-

Girls become mothers- mothers make 99% of purchases for families.- That’s you moms- (So all this really pertains to you too)

With all this, can you understand why advertisers are desperate to get YOUR DAUGHTER to be hooked on their products?  If they get hooked now- they are set for life.

They care nothing for your daughter actually-  They only care to get their product sales higher now-and help with the future of the company if possible.

Now go back and look at that list again-

especially the top two-

These are powerful and strong-

Use these to your daughter’s personal advantage-

Let her know she is strong- she is a trend setter-she can let others know

what is better for them just by doing and being strong herself-(Oh Moms guess what-  You can do al this yourself- set and example, be your own strong and competent self.)

Have your daughter notice what is being shown in the movie-  really get it clear in her mind-

Cause then you have a real chance of 3-6 being about some other girls – not your daughter.

And you have the chance that your daughter can support her friends to be strong just like her. (And if you jump int this game she’ll really have strengtha and even respect for you.)

Let her know she doesn’t have to be a nerd to be able to resist bad choices- She has to be someone with amazing high self esteem-  She has to be able to be your own personal best!

Go to the  movies- have fun- and help your daughter stay true to herself.


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A place for teen girl athletes to meet, to share, to learn!

Come discover and share what it means to be a committed teen girl athlete and a well-rounded, savvy individual. Insightful information is added all the time.

How Do You Fill Your Mayonaise Jar?

February 16, 2010 at 10:21 am | Posted in 1 | Leave a comment
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To all the golf balls in our lives – have a great day.

The Mayonnaise  Jar

When  things in your life seem almost too much to handle,
When 24  hours in a day is not enough;
remember the mayonnaise jar and 2 cups of  coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class
and  had some items in front of him.

When the class began, wordlessly,
he  picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar
and start to fill it with  golf balls.

He then asked the students if the jar was full.
They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and  poured
it into the jar. He shook the jar lightly.
The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls.
He then asked the students again
if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand
and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else
He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded
With an unanimous  ‘yes.’

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the  table
and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively
filling the empty space between the sand.
The students laughed.

‘Now,’ said the  professor, as the laughter subsided,
‘I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.

The golf balls are the important things – God,  family,
children, health, friends, and favorite passions
Things  that if everything else was lost
and  only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the things that matter like your job, house, and car.

The sand is everything else —
The small stuff.

‘If you put the sand into the jar  first,’ he continued,
‘there is no room for the pebbles or the golf  balls.
The same goes for life.

If you spend all your time and energy  on the small stuff,
You will never have room for the things that  are
important to you.


Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.
Play with your children.
Take time to get medical checkups.
Take your partner out to dinner.

There will always be time
to clean the house and fix the dripping tap.

‘Take care of the golf balls first —
The things that really  matter.
Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.’

One of the students raised her hand
and inquired what the coffee represented.

The  professor smiled.

‘I’m glad you asked’.

It just goes to show you that  no matter how full your life may seem,
there’s always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.’

Please share this with other “Golf Balls”

I just did…..

What are your golf balls?  How do you keep them from getting lost in the pebbles and sand?

What are your cups of coffee?

What do you do when your kids destroy things to be creative?

February 6, 2010 at 2:21 pm | Posted in 1 | 2 Comments
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Two kids aged 6 and 7 decided to make a telephone using their dad’s headset. They snipped the wires and went out have a great time inventing and talking. (By the way they had been told not to play with dad’s things.)

Mom was on a business trip and dad needed to sleep in because he was up half the night shoveling/ plowing in VA. (You may know about the massive snow they are having and how jealous we are here in NH.) Anyway back to the issue-

So when dad woke up his headset was destroyed- And of course it was the one that cost plenty of $$$$$. Not some cheapo one!

What does dad do?

Yell at the kids right then and there?
Spank them on the spot?
Figure it was just a minor issue and let it go?
Try some thing else?

If you guessed try something else then you are on target.

But why not yell or spank?
Yelling will get your anger out for sure, but it won’t get your kids to respect either you or your objects and isn’t that what you want most of all?

Spanking? It’s a cop out and too easy to just spank and expect good behavior- Well you might get the good behavior, but you rarely get the respect that you deserve and your children yearn to have for you.

So why not just let it go? I mean, who really cares- as long as the kids were being creative? You know I always talk about process and the product will come- So why not think about the process and let it go that the headset was destroyed?

The problem is again respect- Of course I think that creativity is one of the MOST important things a kid can do. And the rewards of being creative are endless. Being creative is a process and the product does come from that.

With that comes the sticky part- the kids can be creative, but they have to use things that are not dad’s- or be sure that what they are doing and using are OK w/ dad.

SO what can you do in this situation? Have the kids pay for the replacement. Now you can quickly get it from their savings and be done with it right? OOOOH NOOOOO. Forget that. The money in the bank means nothing to these kids except that they can brag about having it and know it sounds impressive.

What the kids need to do is have multiple jobs. When my kids have to do jobs I have the jobs set up in 10 to 15 minute segments and they get paid from 25 cents (yes in this day and age I still pay in quarters) to a dollar for these segments. Thus they can earn up to $6.00/hour – This is with kids who are up to ten. (Teens get paid at a higher rate but generally still in short segments)


So you and your kids can set this up and do it, too.

And the last thing I would do to promote creativity and decrease destruction of valuable objects is to purchase/ collect some supplies that are set up for the kids to use on their own. Let the kids know how long this supply is for- up to a month- and that iti is theirs to do with as they please, but if they use it all up too quickly they will have to wait to get more- unless of course they want to do some jobs and earn money on their own.

Hope this helps!
Love to hear you thoughts on this- Just comment below.

How much Sport for young kids?

February 5, 2010 at 2:19 pm | Posted in 1 | Leave a comment
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I believe that kids should try many different activities from the ages of 7/8 to the ages of 14/16. These are the years that the child develops in many ways- emotionally the child learns to react to adversity, challenge, and being fantastic at something; physically the child is growing and becoming engaged with how her/his body functions as well as the brain create synaptic connections, the more the body does the more synaptic connections get created. I have seen many children who are encouraged to limit themselves in one activity- be it a sport or artistic endeavor- and by the time they are between 12 and 14 moat have lost interest in that activity, their self-esteem has diminished seriously, and it takes a great deal of time, effort, and often money to get the child back to being strong and confident.

On the other hand- knowing the kids who get to the Olympics, X-Games, and to the highest levels for their ages, the great majority of them had more than one activity as a child.

The concern comes about what is too much- and I am afraid to say there is no pat answer. But I do think that we are often afraid of putting too much on our children. So what can you do to keep you child from having too much to do?

Notice the anxiety level YOU have about getting your child to each event on time- If you are frantic, it’s too much for your child.

Notice how your child talks about the practices/games- Is there enthusiastic talk or has the whole thing become a duty- no different than homework or other “duties”? If the program has become a duty its time to reevaluate.

And finally its super important as a parent to understand that all this is fatiguing, and it can be a great thing to by fatigued by physical activity, much better than being bored from sitting around and playing videos or watching youtube all afternoon!

Let your 7 or 8 year old do as many things as YOU are able to support- both financially and especially mentally and emotionally.

As your children grow they will find what they love, even if it isn’t your desire for them, and settle into that area with total abandon when they come to it from their own desire and free will.

Are you a parent with kids doing sports?

January 13, 2010 at 10:58 am | Posted in 1 | Leave a comment

Are you a parent with kids doing sports?  Or is it dance? Karate?  Or any of the hundreds of other things our kids do now?

It’s kind of strange, when I was a kid- that’s what I was- a kid and I’d grow to be “Something.”

Not someone who DID something.  If I did it well, then I did it.

But now our kids are INVOLVED- not just with a capitol “I” but the whole word is in caps.


So is this a bad thing?

Or does it just mean more work for us?

And is there any thing wrong with our kids who are not passionate about something, and do things for (OMG) fun alone?


its simple to comment-click the “leave a comment” at the top and fill in the blue box w/your thoughts.

Love to hear from you!

Is It time to tell the truth about Santa?

December 18, 2009 at 10:45 am | Posted in 1 | Leave a comment
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I have to say – No its not time. Let your children have this special innocence AND even foster it.

To understand why I think this check out:

an article written explaining my view

Thanksgiving- Are you going to make me cry?

November 25, 2009 at 10:14 am | Posted in 1 | Leave a comment

Hey GEM Parents,

It’s almost Turkey Day.  This may be one of my absolute favorite holidays.  For me its full of cooking- which I LOVE to do

Family- not huge, but as many together as we can have-  This year we’ll be ten.

We have a few traditions for Thanksgiving-

We chop lots of celery and onions till we are all crying and laughing because we are crying over the onions.

We rake some leaves.

We watch the Macy’s Day Parade, then the girls make up dances.

We watch the dog show – and all pick our favorite- Its usually the smaller one, but always the fluffiest one.

Then we have those that really have to do with being Thankful.

When we set the table we put seven kernels of popcorn on each plate.  Then when all the dishes and the turkey are taking up every spare space on the table we take a moment to compare the contrast of the seven corn kernels and the abundance of what we are about to eat.

What’s the significance of the seven corn kernels? – That’s what the Pilgrims had left of their provisions for their daily portion of food.

And that is the amount that some people have today!

No matter that I have done this for my whole life- The contrast always brings me to a real deep Thankfulness for all that I have. Even in my worst moments I know I have more than seven kernels of corn!

At some point when we are eating we go around the table and say what we are Thankful for. Yes this is canned and corny.  Lots of the regular stuff- “My family, my food, my sports, my house,” then everyone has something special to add- and I ALWAYS cry.  – I did even when I was a kid.

But now it’s a big joke and they get the tissues out (I secretly think they try to see who can make me cry the most)

And I guess that’s the best part for me.  Listening to everyone share little and HUGE things that they are thankful for.

SO for this Thanksgiving I am asking you two things

1) What are you thankful for?- I’m a sap about this. I really want to have a few tears over what you moms have to say! You can say it here and know I will really appreciate what you have to say. And no one will say anything stupid or mean about you for saying it.  AND no kids to make you anxious about saying it.

2) You may know that GEM Parenting is supporting the African Library Book Drive.

And just as I thought- you all really want to help out and give books, but it’s just a bit complicated to get the boopks to me.

SO instead it turns out the African Library Book Drive is in DESPERATE need of donations to help ship the books. I talked with a few charter members of GEM Parenting and we think that a $5.00 donation would be exactly right for GEM Parenting members.

So to give your donation click on the link below- fill out the form and you are done.

PLEASE do these two things RIGHT now.

You are moms and I know as well as you, if you walk away and don’t do either you will just not do them.

And then you get to be stuck with the guilty feeling of not having made me happy- not so traumatic.

But you also get stuck with the guilt that with such a little time and effort and only $5.00 you can really help some kids who have only seven corn kernels some days – and of course NO books at all.

And that’s a big guilt so if you pick one- choose the donation.

Thanks for being a part of GEM Parenting –  I know its been a sleepy place for a while, I’ve been really concentrating on a new venture- Tigress Teens- Hot Spot fro Teen Girls Athletes.  And now that that is getting a solid start I will have time back hrer again.

But I really had to touch bases with you here at Thanksgiving to let you know I am honored that you came here and are a part of the GEM Parenting community.

Have a great Thanksgiving,


PS Do your donation NOW

Girl the Boys that come in your path

November 1, 2009 at 12:33 pm | Posted in 1 | Leave a comment
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Just a quick update about Jilly’s coed hockey team-(Jilly is Grace’s 9 yo daughter, Jamie and Jeanee’s little sister).  The team is coed.  A girl scored the first goal.  There was no time division between how much the girls played as compared to the boys.  And most importantly there was NO difference between the aggressive spirit or the skills level of the boys or girls.

When I was a girl most of this would have been really Bizarre.  There were few if any girls who even played ice hockey.  And those that did had a real tough time of it.  They had to be way tough, take constant attack and abuse-from their own team members and their parents.  Some leagues refused to allow the girls to play at all.  Some refs decided AT THE GAMES that they would not allow the girls to play.  To have a coed team be the norm is fantastic!

The attitude of girls has changed immensely as well.  The fact that the girl who got the first goal knew what she could do and acted upon her ability and chance for a goal without holding anything back was thrilling to see.  There are still some girls, when put in a coed situation, who hold back for some unfortunate fear of upsetting boys.

The time playing is extremely important.  When a player is excellent yet made to sit on the bench due to being a girl you can be sure it has a negative effect on her.  To have a team that regards the girls as having as much skill, ability, and experience as the boys allows the girls to be at their best.  There is no need to feel anxious or worried that “as a girl I some how don’t make the mark.”

Out on the ice, when they were in their uniforms, pads and helmets, it was impossible to tell which were boys and which were girls.  Again in the past, the girls had a body language that made them stand apart from the boys.  This has disappeared.  The girls have the same energy and stance as any boy out there- some with more of the athletic stance than the boys.

You go girls!  And girl all the boys that come in your path!


This is blog post in

If you are a teen girl athlete you should check this out

With Our Busy Schedules, What Are Your 3 Valid Tips for Getting Dinner Ready in a Flash?

October 6, 2009 at 9:29 am | Posted in 1, Diet / Nutrition, Family Time, How To | Leave a comment
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With Our Busy Schedules, What Are Your 3 Valid Tips for Getting Dinner Ready in a Flash?

You know it is truly a miracle that everyday we can do what we as moms do. Who knew that all these modern conveniences would give us all the freedom to run around like chickens with our heads chopped off.

And now we get to have a contest,, to try and help each other out of some major daily hassle.

As for me, the dinner thing comes and goes in cycles. For a while I have it all under control. Then you know what hits the fan.

But all in all here are my three best proven tricks to help lesson the hassle of getting dinner on the table- and BTW I do make almost all dinners by scratch.

Best tip- have a menu for the week. You sit down once a week and get it done. No nonsense! Pick your main course, your veggies, carb, be sure to think about condiments and all that goes with the meal. Then put your grocery list together. And post your menu where EVERYONE can see it. Now follow it.

OK I know this is not exactly simple to get going. There are plenty of hassles that can get in the way. But here is the cool thing to do. My second tip- Find a site that has the recipes and use them.

My other favorite thing to smooth the dinner transition is to have the table set for dinner right after breakfast. No one leaves the house till the dinner table is set. This give everyone, including me, the understanding that dinner is valued in our house.

These are my fav ways to get dinner in the groove. Do you have a fav? I’d love to add them to my personal list. Just put in your comment and lets help each other out.

Why Have Family Meals with Teens and Preteens

September 24, 2009 at 7:55 am | Posted in 1 | Leave a comment
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I have children ranging in age from 30 to 9. And through out this whole span of five children, dinner together has been the optimum nightly choice. Of course in the life style that we all have now, it is not a nightly event. Our dinners range from rather traditional, to breakfast, to crackers and cheese, and even sometimes just a mug of a hot drink.

But my children cherish this time. This is one of their friends’ favorite part of being at our house. This being together for the loud, talkative and totally interactive meal.

And what do I do to make this happen? Simple and way totally overwhelming. The simple is like Nike says, I “just do it.” It is as part of my being as getting dressed in the morning. Which is when I make lots of my dinners. The overwhelming part is putting the meal on the table. I often scurry around to get the meal actually on the table. And with kids of such varying ages, it has been an obstacle course to get the little ones fed while the big ones have their after school activities.

Now that I only have two kids home all year and third with me for half the year things are no less crazy. Its when they are teens that the meal craze really hits.

So one thing I do to have my children feel included in the family meal, even if they can’t be there is to give them a dinner plate of the family meal. They eat this where they are, or int eh car going or coming.

Right now I have a soccer car pool with four kids. The kids want to be in my car because we have pasta and sauce, salad and milk. Not your ordinary fare for car food, but it makes the family meal on the go be the happening thing.

By extending the family meal to where your kids are and who they are with, has a few great effects. First, you kids will eat a much healthier meal than the normal fast food. Second, your kids will know that what they are doing is important, and that the family tie is also important. These two entities are not exclusive. Third, when your child is at home your child knows that eating together is fun and valuable. Fourth, the discussions at family meals can be truly enlightening and educational.

And the most important thing that you as a parent give your child by extending the family meal is to assure your child of the love and interest you as a parent have in them. There is nothing better than to give this gift to your children.

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