Whose expectaions are you living up to?

July 20, 2010 at 6:07 am | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment
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I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations and you’re not in this world to live up to mine. ~ Bruce Lee

Here’s the thing girls- You often get this idea that you have to live up to someone else’s expectations. You get expectations from so many angles. Lets start right at home. Of course your parents will have expectations of you. And I have to say, no matter what, generally they do have your best interest at heart. But you need to be sure that what they expect of you is reasonable and what you want.

Now what do I mean by reasonable? Is it something that with a reach and stretch you can achieve? Or is it really and truly to high? On the other hand, it could be that their expectations are too low for you. You know you can reach way beyond what they are expecting of you.

At this critical time in your life you begin to shift away from living the expectations of your parents to living up to your own expectations. And this shift is full of anxiety, new ways of thinking, and possible failure. That’s why its so critical for you to be able to really understand what you want, why you want it, and be able to live to your own expectations.

You see to be able to live up to your expectations you really do need to have expectations. And they need to be authentically yours. Expectations, goals, and to do lists have some subtle yet significant differences.

Lets start with to do lists- in a sense these are expectations- they are what you expect to do that day/week. But the difference is that to do lists are simply actions. They do not have emotional attachment to them. They are a lost of results. No emotions and no pathway to achieve these results.

Goals are much closer to expectations. Goals are things you want to achieve, things that, generally with effort, you desire to accomplish. As you can see, goals do have emotions. The thing about goals is that they are the product, the end result. That’s why so often goals are so frustrating. Because without the means, the path, the process to the goal its often impossible to get to the goal.

So what are expectations? How do they differ from these other two? An expectation is a confident belief or strong hope that a particular event will happen. You have a mental image of something expected, often compared to its reality. With an expectation you have a standard of conduct or performance expected by or of somebody. And the somebody I want to have the expectation of you is you.

Expectations are entirely different from to do lists- plenty of emotion with expectations. And even though goals have emotions, they are not as comprehensive as expectations. Expectations not only include the result with emotion, they include the mental path to get there.

It’s you who matters the most. If you are living up to your parents’ expectations, you will never be truly satisfied. You will always have a hole in your feeling of success and achievement. And this is entirely different from when you were a kid. Now as an emerging/young adult for the first time in your life you can have your own expectations and live up to them.

These expectations are in your sports of course, but they are in every aspect of your life- from who you hang with, to how well you do in school, to what kind of make up you wear (or don’t wear). You can and do have expectations in everything you do.

Keep track of your expectations- in a journal, on note cards, in a word doc. – And pay attention to the expectations of your parents. Do you want these expectations to be your own? Can you have ownership of them? If not find your own expectations. Whittle what’s been handed to you till it bears your personal mark. Have excitement and pride in and about your expectations.

Remember it’s only you who can live up to your expectation-so give them your all and go to it girl!

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