What Are You Putting at Stake For Your Reputation as a Parent?

June 17, 2009 at 1:27 pm | Posted in 1 | 2 Comments
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Monday I talked about your reputation. I talked about how you need to prod yourself to take action.

Putting your reputation at stake is key as a parent.  You have everything to lose and everything to live by.

It you put your reputation on the line with just a bit of energy, then you will live with just a bit of a reputation- good or bad.  But if you are resisting or fearful of the whole wonderful and fulfilling life as a parent you dream of then you will simply procrastinate till your kids are grown.  I promise it happens quicker than anyone ever tells you!

You really need to put your whole life at stake. And I’m not
talking about human sacrifice here! I’m talking about what’s most
important to you, what’s at your very heart.

If you are parenting just to get by, or even just to be
successful, you really don’t have a lot at stake. After all, what’s
the big deal if your kid isn’t that successful? You can let
things slip by for a week or a month. They’ll grow up sooner or later.

You can really have two things at stake. One is external (like the
car) and the other is internal. Let’s talk about external first.

If you have a mortgage to pay, kids to support and a “nut” to
make every month, that’s what you have at stake externally. And
this isn’t trivial.

I have a great life.  I live in NH for ten months- in the White Mountains National Forest-
I live in CT for the summer, near the beach and my mother. My children are all doing exactly what they want.  And I love my life.

But even this has its limitations.

After all, it can soon feel like you’re in the rat race, keeping up
with the Jones’s and never feeling you’re giving and doing quite enough.
Sure, you have something at stake, but it’s easy to wonder if all
the hard work is really worth it.

Perhaps then you discover that you need to put something
internal at stake. Now this can be a dead end, too. Chasing
happiness and fulfillment can be elusive. After all, how happy is

My discovery, the thing that ultimately gets me up in the
morning, is making a difference, making a contribution. When
you put this at stake, everything seems to change. When your
focus is the welfare of others, you win every single time.

Now as moms it seems that’s all that we are doing, but there is a real difference.
Here it is.  If you are going through making a contribution to your kids life as a duty, as  a forced activity, as a drudgery, you will not be happy to say the least!

What ever I do- write this blog, give a talk, help a client, more importantly look at what my child has made, help with their lessons, drive them to wherever, do their laundry and dishes, and kiss they goodnight – I do it to make a difference.  It comes from my heart.

Mothers and families who base their lives on this principle thrive.  Families that don’t?  The stories are endless about them.

So the thing to put at stake every day is the contribution you
make. “Today I’ll run my home, raise my kids, live my life to
make a contribution. What’s wanted and needed right now where
can I best make that contribution?”

Its important to remember that the magnificence of what you do is directly connected with the love and heart felt energy you put into anything.  It is not about how others think you have done, how much money is involved, or how successful you are.

If you get to that place, then procrastination, delay, fears and
worries won’t have such a big part in your life. You’ll join that
support group; you’ll get your house chores done; you’ll really stop and look at the picture your child made; you’ll go the extra mile.

What are you going to put at stake?

By the way, it’s also important to make a contribution to yourself
as well.

What’s something bigger than yourself that you’ll put at stake?
Please share your comments

And for your reputation
Parent with Passion, Purpose, and Integrity,


PS: Ready to talk with others about how to really live your life as the parent with a true and fantastic reputation? Join me at 7 pm EDT, 6 CDT, 4 PDT. Just lick this link (or cut and paste) to get the details.


I am really psyched to have you join!

Your Reputation is at Risk

June 15, 2009 at 6:43 am | Posted in 1 | 1 Comment
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Do what you are going to do,
its what you do that brings the reputation.

As a mom you really want to have a good reputation.
There is only one way:

Do what is right from your heart.  Pay no heed
to what others think or gossip about you.
Your reputation is irrelevant except
how you think about yourself.

So go ahead-do whatever you do,
don’t worry about if you can do it well.
Cause either you ca or you can’t,
but the doing is the important thing

Use your utmost energy to get enthusiastic,
it makes you more enthusiastic.

When you are enthusiastic as a mom
your kids can only absorb that.
But you must be authentic, if you aren’t
they will just tear you apart.

Be like an enthusiastic puppy- let your whole being
have the positive vibes.

By keeping focused and enthusiastic
you are able to continue
the process of where you are going.
Lose that vision and you get stuck.

This is what happens so often as parents.
We are going along and a snag happens.
We lose site of the goal.
What is the goal?
Bottom line- to love our children
To raise them with natural high self esteem.
And to keep them out of harms way

All to the best of our ability- nothing more or less

Keep an open mind-let knew things in-
learn everyday in some way.
As a parent it is imperative to
be able to let in the new ideas,
thoughts, and actions of your children.

When you hold these out, you are
closing yourself from your children.

In any aspect of life- give your all.
Then you will be able to get what ever you need and want.
You children will learn from this.
They will see that being engaged,
involved, interactive has
rewards far beyond anything else.

And as a parent put everything you have into
raising your kids.  If you screw up,
you want to be sure that you have put in
so much love and caring
it won’t matter either in the end
or as you go along.

Work is not only what you get paid for,
experience is not only what you put on a resume,
but happiness is always in your heart.

Keep that in mind as you go through your days
as a parent.  There is nothing more
important, valuable, or rewarding as being
a parent.

And there is nothing harder, with less value, and
as totally unrewarding as a parent.

The thing to do is pay attention to the
parts that fill your heart with love.

It’s important to find the joy in every aspect of your life.
Have that be the constant in all you do

Soar with your own strength.
Let others soar w/ their strength.
There is enough air for all of us to soar.

When you go for life, you go.
The result is not always what you think
and want it to be,
but it will be great if you put your heart into it.

Life is not about comparing yourself to others,
It’s about being your own unique self.
And being your best self at that.

Have a fantastic Monday and
Parent with passion, purpose, and integrity,


Add Your Values to Your Parenting

June 8, 2009 at 9:26 am | Posted in 1 | Leave a comment
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Last I wrote to you about character.
This week I’m all excited to talk about value.

“We do not act rightly because we have virtue or excellence,
but we rather have those because we have acted rightly.”

This is such an important concept.
As a parent it is not that you
have to know the “right” way to
behave in your head.

It is that you have to act and behave the
“right” way.

Sounds simple, but with all the pressure and
influence around us to live with out
our personal values we often loose
touch with them.

What are your values?
How are you living up to and with them?

If you are falling short in most of your
values then try this.

Pick just one value that you will absolutely adhere to
for one day.
Make no exceptions.
Be strong and firm.

Give your whole self to this value.
And see that you pick a value that you
are certain is from your heart.

When you live with your values
you let your children know
that what comes from your heart
is more important than how others
react to you.

Thus the get to have natural high self esteem.



Summer program:

What:     How to Parent with Passion, Purpose, and Integrity.
Weekly Tele-support workshop

When:     Four Thursdays in July
July 2, 9, 16, 30

Time:    LIVE
10:30-12:00 am EDT
9:30-11:00 am CDT
7:30-9:00 am PDT
Recording whenever you want

Where: On your phone anywhere
Recording on your computer

Cost:    $12/week if registered for all four sessions by June 18. Total $48
$19/week after that. Total $76

Why:    Making a change from how you were brought up
Leery of mass media
Wanting to use positive intervention
Feeling inadequate as a mom

Topics:    1: How to be a mom whom I respect?
with all the pressures that surround me?
There are the social norms,
the media that hits,
family pressures,
husband who is put off by the out of the box parenting
but going along with it- for now at least.

2: How can I support my kids in their achievements?
but not become the pushy parent with the needs?
Is there any real way to be a supportive parent
and not get too involved?

3: How can I maintain my sanity?
when there is all this energy change?
I have no idea of what is best for my family or me?
How can I make any good decision when
there is just way too much to choose from?

4: Is there any escape from this totally
overwhelming stress inducing thing
called “Good Parenting”??????

Register here:

As a Pearl Member the price today is
$10/week- total $40.

That’s affordable for you.
You can really do this.

Sign up right now!
Don’t waiver or it
will be just like everything else you do.

I look forward to “seeing” you in July.

For today stick to your values.
And parent with passion, purpose, and integrity,


How to Build Character

June 1, 2009 at 9:47 am | Posted in 1 | 1 Comment
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Motivational Monday


If you find this blog entry interesting and helpful please
pass it along to your friends.

Again thanks to those who emailed/blogged  me
with your concerns and issues.

It’s still important to email your concerns-
You are here at GEM Parenting because
need help with your parenting.
You want to understand and develop
your parenting, reduce your stress and
overwhelm, and let your kids grow up
with natural high self-esteem.

And you certainly don’t want the national hazard
of having a brat for a kid.

And for some reason that just isn’t so simple.

Send in your concerns and issues.
Get your guidance.
And help others who are suffering with your issue,
but not quite ready to share.

I will send you a personal response and
for those who are willing to share even more,
I will put our Q & A on the blog-

Of course with your personal stuff removed.

It’s my favorite day of the week.
Motivational Monday.

I love this day because it is the day that I
Get to start new things.
rejuvinated from the hectic weekend.
and get back into  my “regular” rhythm.

This week I want to talk about character.
To start here is a quote.

“Watch your thoughts;
they become words.
Watch your words;
they become actions.
Watch your actions;
they become habits.
Watch your habits;
they become character.
Watch your character;
it becomes your destiny.”

~ Frank Outlaw ~

This process is a vital part of being a
parent who uses positive intervention
and strives to raise children with
high self-esteem.

It’s also a way of understanding
what law of attraction is about in simple terms.

I am a person who believes in
what goes around comes around

And this how you can see it’s growth and progress.

Your character and the character
You develop in your children
starts with your thoughts.

Now this is not to say you have complete
control of your children’s character.
That would be impossible.

You don’t even have complete control of your own.

But you do have the ability to have control
of your thoughts.

This week I want you to be very aware of your thoughts.
Find what is negative, detrimental, excessive,
hurting, etc.
and change it to it’s opposite.

This is not the week to stop the thoughts.
This is the week to start
to build your own character.
And with it the character of your children.

Now another super important thing-
Be gentle and fun with this.

When you do catch yourself smile, take a relaxing breath
then and only then when you are
OK with yourself can you really
replace that negative thought.

Have a terrific week.

And for me,
be a parent with passion, purpose, and integrity,


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