How to bring a moment of peace to your parenting

April 27, 2009 at 5:00 am | Posted in 1 | Leave a comment
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GEM Parenting
Where Every Child is a GEM

Hi there ,

It’s Motivational Monday once again.
Last week I asked you to focus on your
own personal peace and honor.

How’d it go?

Were you able to find any peace?
Could you honor that peace?

It’s often hard to find the way to honor yourself when you
are a busy parent.

I do want you to remember that you can take moments.
You need to start just like your children,
with baby steps.

This week I want to suggest you say out loud-
twice a day- “I honor my peace.”

You can start in the bathroom with the shower
running, where no one can hear you.
Or outdoors where you are free also.

Then let your self really feel peace,
take a deep breath,
either close your eyes
or look at something that
seems peaceful to you,
and let the flow of peace
come over your whole being.

As you begin to practice this
you will be able to let this
flow of peace happen
whenever and wherever
you need it.

You have the control of your peace.
It is not elusive.
It is yours to create and manifest
as you desire.

Again, this week I want you to
stay with peace and honor.

Build this into a part of your
parenting. Let your
peace be free to come to you.

You need this peace to be able to
raise your children with self-esteem
and calmness
and stop the stress
that burns you up at night.

Get it in the day and you can also bring
your peace into your nights when
you lie awake wondering if you have made
the right decisions.

Have a great day, and
Parent with Passion, Purpose, and Integrity,


Honor and Peace for Parents

April 20, 2009 at 11:46 am | Posted in 1 | Leave a comment
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GEM Parenting
Where Every Child is a GEM


It’s Motivational Monday.

And this week its about Honor and Peace.

I had some ideas about what I would motivate you on. (All kinds of earth day stuff. I know you will get plenty of that anyway.)

But then I got an email from one of my favorite clients this morning and had a call with my husband. My client has found her peace. And she was able to accept it. This is such a huge bridge that I just had to motivate you to find your peace this week. It makes such a difference when you have something that would have been upsetting, a struggle, or overwhelming. When you have your peace you are able to respond and react with a calm and yes peaceful response. It seems so basic, but if it were then you would already be peaceful. Your self-esteem and parenting would be going along in a manner that brought peace. You would be calm and collected.

Oh you aren’t. So this week go find some peace.

And when my husband called, he had some free time but I had you to write to, do lessons for my kids, email some contacts about a retreat I am setting up ( oh more juicy stuff about that later) and this afternoon I have three conferences, my yoga class and physical therapy, and my hour of being outdoors. Yes a very busy day.

But I answered the phone when my husband called. He wanted to talk. But I really just wanted to have a quick hello and get on with all that I have geared up for today.

He responded with a pouting sound. Then I explained to him that he has a choice- “You can feel rejected because I am not talking to you for a long time or you can feel honored that I am taking time to talk to you. It’s really your choice. But in my opinion you should (Yes I have to admit I used the word should) be honored I have stopped in the middle of what I am doing to have a chat with you.”

And happily he decided to be honored I talked to him.

So with looking for and finding some peace for yourself this week honor yourself and those around you. It’s a choice to find honor in most everything you do.

So that leaves the others to motivate you to find specific ways to celebrate earth day. And if you have something to share, by all means let us know.

But really I would rather you share about your peace and honor.
And the funny thing about this change is that it leads right into the new program I am offering. It is “UU Moms For a Balanced Life.”

Click the link or cut and paste to your browser to learn about and join this program.

Running out for an overnight camping trip

April 15, 2009 at 9:09 am | Posted in 1 | Leave a comment
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Today we are heading out to go camping. It will be just for a night. But the weather is so gorgeous that we just have to do it. The kids are getting things ready. I am writing and doing a few work related things. Then off to nature for the night.

This is not something that will get my children into any school or any particular job. Or will it?

I actually think that by living to our hearts desire, getting the jobs and responsibilities that we all have done, and being true to our values and morals my children will actually be able to live their lives with fulfillment, rather than hoping that what they do will be noticed by some outside authority.

We are living for the moment. Our stress is low. Our overwhelm is miniscule. Our self esteem are intact.

What do you do that brings peace to your life, enhances your children, and is not necessarily acceptable by others?

New Directions – An Inside-Out Approach to Career Change with Mike Jaffe

April 14, 2009 at 9:48 am | Posted in 1 | Leave a comment
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New Directions – An Inside-Out Approach to Career Change

Currently Unemployed? Want to Change Careers? Need to Reinvent Yourself?


Join us for a powerful, interactive workshop that will give you a fresh perspective on what’s possible for you in your career.

Our Career Transition Model is a proven, creative methodology that has been used to help more than 12,000 people define and transition to their next career.

This will be unlike anything else you’ve attended or tried before.

Here’s what a recent participant said:

“Mike Jaffe was my ‘Human Wake Up Call.’ Through this insightful and really enjoyable program, he helped me find my passion and got me started on a path pursuing it. Before his guidance, I was working at a job I hated and life was kind of a bore. Now I am singing, writing and performing to feed my soul–and I’ve got a new job that pays better than the old one, and is WAY more fun. This program changed my life!” – Stephanie Ehrlich, NY

Together we will clarify what your ideal life and career looks like by uncovering the many elements of your passions, skills, talents and preferences and breaking through your self-imposed limitations of what is possible.

This program is delivered as a 2 day workshop or 4 week teleseminar and includes:

· Self-exploration – through a series of handouts and questions we’ll discover what you love to do, what your unique skills, talents and gifts are, and all of the elements you want in your ideal career

· Overcome blocks – sometimes fears, insecurities, lack of confidence and other issues come up during the process. We’ll work through these blocks and create new possibilities where you currently don’t see any. We’ll look inside your assumptions and separate the facts from feelings and beliefs.

· Creating Options – Together we’ll design a variety of career options in areas you would love to pursue that are aligned with your needs, wants, and abilities.

· Researching for Discovery – Once defined, you’ll research the different possibilities to discover which one would be right for you. You’ll network, interview, and take other actions to get the experience that will further clarify your direction.

· Strategic Plan and Follow Through – we’ll develop short and long-term plans specific to your unique situation and transition needs, guiding you in taking all the necessary steps until you reach your goals.

Registration for these programs is now open. Due to the nature of these programs, space is limited.

Cost: $199* includes both days and all materials. *Be sure to use Coupon Code GEM100 at checkout and save $100 off of the regular registration price of $299

Register Now or Learn More (or paste into your browser)

Still not sure?

Come to a F’ree Seminar that will give you new and creative job and career strategies, teach you how to manage the stress of job/career change, and offer solutions for how to break through your own career blocks. This seminar will combine interactive discussions, powerful exercises and an opportunity for Q&A with leading career experts.

Register Now or Learn More (or paste into your browser)

Visit for more information and a complete schedule of upcoming workshops. And remember to use Coupon Code GEM100 to get $100 when you register for one of our powerful 2 day workshops or 4 week teleseminars.

Life Lessons of Dignity and High Self-Esteem

April 14, 2009 at 8:57 am | Posted in 1 | Leave a comment
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GEM Parenting
Where Every Child is a GEM

Its Terrific Tuesday and no better day than today to tell you about our weekend. How we were able to actually have some Easter and our last ski race.

For the whole story I am actually going to bring you back to last Tuesday!

On Tuesday I was to get my 16 year old from the airport- just one and half hours away LOL- She was to arrive at 7:30pm. This was a bit tight because my dancer finished on Tuesday at 7:00pm. Then as we were going into dance (30 minutes away) my 16 year-old daughter called. She had gotten off the plane at a layover and was instructed to head to another gate. When she got to the gate she was told the plane she had been on was actually the correct plane. And it had left. She was completely calm. And asked what should be done now? She was complimented on her manners and told they would get her to our airport at 11:30 pm.

This meant three hours of middle of the night driving for me. YUCK! But that was all I could do about that. I told the dancer as soon as dance was over we would go straight home and I would take a nap. The traveler called again and said she would be at our airport at 8:30pm. This was actually perfect. We left after dance and arrived just as she had gotten her bags. This was a sure case of Law of Attraction.

Just a quick side note on the 16 year old. She went to Squaw Valley for half pipe nationals on skis. She had a great run, but did not place all that well. She actually did not get a score. Again Law of Attraction. She knew she was good, but had not actually put energy into having a great finish. So although her run was great, the scores just did not actually appear. Rather than mope about the outcome, after the ten minutes of discouragement she began her plan for next year. Then she and my eldest (25 years who lives in LA) spent a week together. They had a fantastic time. And the 16 year old surfed- another dream of hers.

OK back to last week-
Of course the whole way home we talked, shared our stories, and just enjoyed each other’s company. And we were all ready to go to sleep when we got back.

Wednesday morning we packed the car- We had to have all our ski gear, enough entertainment for the 4 hr rides and the possibility of four rainy days, school work, and lots and lots of food. We were to leave at 12 noon. We left at 12:20. That’s on time for us.

I was the passenger. And maybe this should have meant resting and relaxing, but when the driver is 16 you are extra alert. So to keep me calm and the kids entertained I read for three hours. Hoarse voice.

We got to our condo and unpacked. Next morning was sunny and a bit warm for us. Racer was training GS w/ her team. (Just incase you are new to GEM Parenting, this was a championship race of the 30 best qualified Americans and 30 best qualified Canadians aged 11 and 12- The Children’s Can-Am) Friday morning was slalom training. My other girls and I were skiing. But we stopped by to watch the training. WOW! I could hardly believe my eyes. My daughter was skiing terribly. Now I had to make a quick decision. Do I let her just continue to enjoy this trip or do I put a spark in her? How do I light the spark and not have her get too tense? And is this really my place or should I leave it up to the coach?

You guessed right if you guessed I decided with the spark. And what would the best spark be? Total honesty. Now there are two ways of honesty-vinegar or honey. I chose honey. I told her that if she was capable of skiing very differently, she had skied very differently two years before, and it was time to go back to that style. She had developed a certain fear of hitting the slalom gates. She did not need to hit the gates. She needed to find her own style and own line.

I wanted her to know that if she were to ski on Sunday the way she trained she would come in the place that no skier wants to be in- by at least three seconds, (a huge difference in ski racing.) If she were going to lose she would at least want to do it with dignity. She took one more run. And improved a tiny bit. She could have dignity at this rate.

Next day was race day- Giant Slalom- My daughter was ready. She put in a great effort and came away with a 37th. Not bad for being the last to qualify from US. But she said to me when she came through the finish. “ I could have done better. I am not even out of breath. I held myself back and I was tight and nervous. Tomorrow I need my sister to ski with me and help me relax.” All in one breath- not knowing how she did compared to anyone else, and before anyone could tell her what she needed to do.

For the afternoon and evening we went to our friend’s condo- 3 families from another mountain in NH. We had a fabulous egg hunt, a delicious Easter dinner, and great time being together. Easter with friends who are almost family.

Sunday-Race day again. Two girls going- one to race with dignity, and the other preparing her with fun and humor and stratgeies. I got them up and to the mountain. They headed off with coaches and other teammates to slip the course.

(The rest of us had to pack out of the condo, but not one thing could be done about that while the racer was there. We were done in 35 minutes)

So we got to the race hill just as the first racers were coming down. Now I can tell you I felt nervous. I wanted so badly for my daughter to do her best, put it all together, and feel great when she came through the finish line. And that is a very tall order!

The first girls had too much speed. They crashed, hiked and were disappointed. Then came some who got the right speed and line. Things were exciting. My daughter was bib 52. Near the end. I was getting a pit in my stomach. Then we were only ten away. My eight year old and I sent her our energy to go fast, relax, and have good line. We use Reiki to do this.

Fifty came through the finish. Fifty-one was on course and fifty-two was out of the gate- my daughter. All you can do is stand there and watch. Send your energy. And hope all goes well. And know that you may need to help uplift your kid’s spirits or you might, if everything goes just right and luck is on your side, have a great feeling of satisfaction. Yes, I know it is the kid who does al the action, but as mom/dad/grandparent you are part of the energy and emotion. You cannot separate yourself so don’t try. Just keep a check on it and don’t over power your kid.

She came in fast. Did everything she could do. And pushed herself to her absolute limit. She had a fantastic finish. No she did not win or even come in the top ten, but she was twenty-second! Now from where she was two days before, this was better than any of us hoped for.

She made a decision, put all she knew into action, and skied without a conscious thought. It was so wonderful to see. She knew she had done a great run. Lots of cheers from other US kids and parents.

But we had to stay in the moment. She still had another run. And who knew what would happen then. Lunch with the subtle tension of more to come, yet the satisfaction of having done one’s best. As a parent it’s a real tight rope. Keeping things just calm enough, and keeping just enough adrenalin for the second run.

Off went the racers (and the one sister) with the coaches to prepare (slip the course) for the second run. Only this time my daughter was going ninth. The top thirty flip time order. It’s a BIG deal to make the flip.

So we had much less time to wait and wonder. We all did about the same as last time- Sent energy, sister with her to keep her just focused enough, but relaxed and having fun. (This sister has been in many international competitions at this point so she really knows what to do and think)

And the tension went up by notches as her time to go came closer. Was she going to be calm? Would she lose it? Would she decide, “Well, I did great last time so I can sit back?”

She was out the gate and we knew. She was putting it down again. She was on her edges, (both of her skis and her abilities). She was breathless at the finish. She had done two great runs. She was elated. I was elated. Her family was elated. Her coaches were thrilled and proud. And her friends and their parents were so happy for her.

Her finish? Twenty-second overall. And this in the race that she could have been last by seconds had she not decided to put it all together.

As a parent there was so much in this weekend for my daughter. Yes, it was fantastic she made it to the Can-Am. It truly was a small elite group of racers. And what she was able to bring together for herself was worth every moment of getting there. She was able to go to her limit. She accepted her challenge- how to get around the slalom gates without hitting them yet being close and fast. She was able to accept her tension and use it to boost her abilities. These two life lessons alone will give her that something we all want in uncomfortable situations. She chose to do her best in every possible way. The outcome was dignity and high self-esteem. Where she placed was the icing on the cake. It really did not matter. (But it was fun to knock of 30 places. I am the first to let you know.)

If you read this far, congratulations. You can see that being a parent has lots of ins and outs, nooks and crannies. You have to be ready in all situations to bring honor and dignity to your children. They need to be supported to do their best, in the way that keeps their self esteem intact. No small order chef can do it.

I would love to hear about times that your children were able to overcome obstacles and how you helped them with this. What life lessons were learned- by you or them!

Are You a Process Parent?

April 13, 2009 at 1:02 pm | Posted in 1 | Leave a comment
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It’s Motivational Monday.
And for me it’s another new beginning.
I have a few times each year that I have a
sense of starting again.

And the end of the ski competitions season is one of them.

For my family it happened yesterday.
This means that the intense dedicated time of the year
is over.
It’s time to let the slower, relaxed attitudes settle in and develop.

And the change is rather difficult to tell the truth.
You see when we are dedicated and
purposeful we think we are doing things
that have meaning.

As we step away from having our days
filled with this meaning where are we?

Now here is a question:
Do we do our ski competing because it will get
Us (my kids) to some end point?

Or do we do this high level of ski competitions
because of the
process that we have while doing it?

If you know anything about me you will
know the answer is simple.

It’s the process.
Maybe it will get the kids into
great colleges:
Maybe it will get them into
higher level competitions:
Maybe it will make people
say WOW about them.
Maybe they will have newspaper and magazine
articles written about them.

But those are so far from the reasons
to commit to doing something.

These are things that may happen
Because of the awesome way the kids
Do things.

And yes they will happen, but don’t do things
because of the possibility of the result.

It makes your life and your kid’s life hollow.
If you are going to set up your kids life
to have the deepest meaning, then do things for the
meaning, not what they can get for your kids.

Motivation for today:
Find meaning in what you do, what your kids do.
And live for the process not the product.

As always
Parent with Passion, Purpose, and Integrity.


PS. Need to understand how you can change from
being a parent dedicated to the outcome to a parent living for
the process?
In other words “How to raise a grounded kid in a world that
is about preparing your kid to get into a good school?”

New tele-series coming soon.
Watch for it.

How We Celebrate Spring and Still Have a Ski Race

April 9, 2009 at 7:00 am | Posted in children, Families, Holidays, moms, parents, Self Esteem, spirituality, Thoughtful Thursday | Leave a comment

It is Thoughtful Thursday and

I am with my children at the last
of the ski racing events of the year!

It is a CanAm and only

  • 30 US girls and 30 Canadian girls
  • 30 US boys and 30 Canadian boys
  • aged 11 and 12

Kind of a special and elite group of skiers!  I am one proud mama for sure!


Yes, in April here we are while
many of you are celebrating
spring and Easter, we are
still in the last throws of
ski racing.

SO what does that do for our celebrating spring?
Celebrating Easter?

Its really easy,
we celebrate spring by
breathing the spring air,
feeling the sun on our faces
with different energy.
WE watch the snow go with sadness
that our wonderful snow sports life MUST
come to an end.
And with excitement that we will
be on our bikes, hiking
and swimming outside soon.

And Easter, that is easy for us as well.
Since the early Christians had
no real date and they borrowed some other
holidays to fill the day,
We have begun to celebrate on the
Greek Orthodox Easter.

It is 6 weeks later- allowing us
to be fully with the holiday.

These ways of alternating our
lifestyles to fit the needs and
desires of our family,
yet staying with our
morals and values
gives my family AND me
the ability to live and breath
with our spirit, soul, self esteem

My children
are able to be confident,
yet relaxed.
capable yet not pushy
confident yet not arrogant,
respectful of themselves and others.

My kids are not special.  Yours can be
the same way.

As you go through your days,
weeks, months,
find what fits with your family.
believe your values and morals
are the best for your family.
And let others have their
values and morals.

Have a great day,
and of course
parent with passion, purpose and integrity,


PS I really have enjoyed that
some of you are putting comments on the blog.
It really energizes me and I know
it energize others as well.

Spiritual Counseling and Soul Healing Raises Your Self-Esteem

April 7, 2009 at 12:18 pm | Posted in 1 | Leave a comment
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Had an awesome interview with Maggie Ostara. She is a spiritual counselor and a soul healer. If you are in search of finding that deep peace that seems just out of your reach listen to this interview.

This is an opportunity to get into the depths of your spirit. What is spirit? Its the truest meaning of life. It is the God, universal, special, miraculous energy that each of has. Or we would not be alive.

How is your spirit today? What have you done to get in touch with your essence?

When you take the moments through your day that bring you to your spiritual self you bring peace, harmony, and equality to yourself and your family. You will raise your self esteem. Your confidence will soar. What you accomplish in a day will surprise you and everyone around you.

How is your spirit today? What have you done to get in touch with your essence? Let me know, you can inspire me and others.
(to leave a comment click the title of this article)

Motivational Monday-How Can You Bring Spirituality to Parenting?

April 6, 2009 at 10:11 am | Posted in 1 | 4 Comments
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Here we are in the midst of the hectic life of being a mother/father.  If you are like me, you have days filled with basic activites-teeth, hair, beds made, meals, meals, meals, meals, shopping, homework, driving to and from, hurt knees, hurt feelings, squabbling, and all that fills every minute of the day. Not to mention any of the other tasks and duties that are not directly related to parenting.

You have certainly heard find the time, get up early, stay up late, stop doing something so you can spend time being spiritual, make a routine of it.  And guess what happens?  Refer to paragraph one to know what happens if you aren’t sure.  Who are they kidding? We just can’t add spirituality in.  It is not essential or necessary.  It will be interrupted anyway so why try?

Why try?  Who cares?  I do. You do.  We need to find this thing called spirituality.  We need to be able to find that peace and harmony.  With spitituality we can have our self esteem, our energy, our freedom to be our best selves.

So how find this elusive thing called spirituality?

Start with taking five seconds at a time.  You can definately find this much time!  There really is no excuse for this short moment.

In the five seconds you can

  • give thanks,
  • offer courage,
  • feel connected,
  • feel humility,
  • know the universal energy is with you.

With your hands you can bring them together in prayer touching first your thumbs, and along to your pinkies.  Or you can use arm these vairations.  All have straight arms, the palms spread wide twtiching your fingers as you go through the five spiritual parts.  You can have them at your sides, .  You can twist at the waist.  You can reach to the sky.  You can raise your arms up and down at your sides or in front of you-being sure that as you go up your hands are facing up and as you go dowm your hands are facing down.

Your motivation for this week is to find these five seconds.  Let yourself find a few of them every day.  Be clear that this is your five seconds of spirituality.  And let others know how you are doing, what other ways you have of bringing spirituality into your life.  To comment simply click the title of this article and put your thoughts down.  They the ability to inpsire so many.

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