Three confusions about Halloween

October 31, 2008 at 9:41 am | Posted in dads, Families, moms, Mothers, parents, Self Esteem | Leave a comment
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Happy Halloween

 

There are three topics that get confused with Halloween. 

 

  1. Candy consumption and weight gain
  2. Safety
  3. The purpose of Halloween right now

 

When you head out tonight if you start with the understanding that Halloween is for getting candy, eating it, and starting on the annual weight gain problem you are going to do just that. 

 

If you head out tonight thinking that there are lurking dangers around each corner, again you will find some kind of danger.

 

And if you think that Halloween has any connection to very past beliefs of satanic forces and ideas being spread you will find these.

 

Rather than heading out with all these fear-routed issues, look to the positive.  This is a great place to begin your new thought pattern.  Finding you new zone as a parent takes time and skill.  So start with something that is not your biggest issue.  Try out what you are learning here at GEM Parenting and elsewhere on smaller issues at first.

 

Just as when your children have started to walk they have prep activities.  Nothing that we actually do with them, but they crawl, slide, or scuttle for a while.  They attempt new things, standing for instance.  Then they try the first few steps.  Holding on usually.  You know how it goes.  And of course they fall.  But that never stops them.

 

As with your new parenting patterns and practices you need to step out slowly, try little things at first and know you will fall.  But keep trying.  Keep reading these entries and any others that help you along the way.

 

Now back to tonight-

 

With candy consumption and weight gain, leave on a full stomach of a healthy meal.  Then eat a candy, you included, in 20 minutes.  Again in 20 minutes, then have a snack of healthy stuff- cut up apples, PB&J sandwich quarters.  Then back to the candy in 20 minutes routine.  Tell your kids you want to see how much they get and if they eat it all while out then they can’t see.

 

Another thing we do is give a bunch of candy to the children’s ward of the hospital for the kids who couldn’t go out.  This helps with not eating as much.

 

Of course you need to think in terns of safety.  But if you think in terms of fear, that is what you will be fearful.  And you will teach this to your kids.  Teach safety, not fear.  This goes a long with teaching about self-esteem and contentment.

And if you are concerned with satanic issues and Halloween, then I suggest you look elsewhere.  Halloween has changed in the past few hundred years.  It is time for delight, joy and creativity.  Children are encouraged and allowed to be something unique and special.  These are corner stones to high self-esteem.

 

With this I am getting ready to curl my daughter’s hair and put on some goofy costume to begin the Halloween activities. 

 

Have a Happy Halloween and

Parent with Passion, Purpose and Integrity,

 

Grace

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Went to see Olympic Gymnastic Tour Last Night

October 30, 2008 at 8:32 am | Posted in children, dads, Families, moms, Mothers, parents, Self Esteem | Leave a comment
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Last night my family went to see the Olympic Gymnast tour.  It was fantastic.  Those kids were out there having a ball.  The spectators worshiped them.  And those athletes gave us such a show.  They were able to decide and accomplish a goal within only their childhoods.   Why is that?

 

Did they just have such amazing talent that they were able to think and believe and therefore be in the Olympics?  Of course not.   I do believe in prayer and the law of attraction.  But in either case you MUST open the door and walk through. 

 

That’s what those kids and their parents and their coaches did.  They did not simply think about a dream.  They put it in action.  And it was done as a group program.  The athletes alone did not do it.  We all know that their parents were totally committed to the dream.  And these athletes had coaches.  The coaches worked with their athletes on so many levels.  Of course they worked on the actual physical performance of their athletes, but they added in nutrition, emotional and psychological aspects, developmental stages, and a sundry of other aspects of taking a child and helping them become and amazing athlete.

 

And these kids knew instinctively that they had to have coaches.  The coaches would sometimes give them grueling workouts, other times hug them after the fall, and of course celebrate the joys of success.  Having coaches was a natural part of the program.

As a matter of fact without coaches there wouldn’t be a program and there wouldn’t be action of a dream.

 

Think about your dream as a parent.  Put it in action today. 

 

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Next Monday Donna L. Johnson and I will be hosting

Your Dreams and Dumps

A teleseminar on getting out your woes of parenting and being a woman,

Yet having the intention of living your dreams.

 

This is a program set up for you at no cost.

Just a phone call away.

 

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Halloween is tomorrow

 

Get into the fun with your kids.  If you trick or treat get on a costume, your kids will always love it.  It is silly, fun and on their level.

 

If you do not trick or treat be mindful that your children will feel left out.  Give them something special to do.  Use the time for togetherness with your family.  Be sure to explain your family values and morals as to why you don’t trick or treat in terms of the good to your family, not the wrong of others.

 

As for my family, we will be out and about trick or treating.

It is one of our favorite things to do.

 

Put your dream in action

And parent with

Passion, Purpose, and Integrity

 

Grace

Be sure to put your comments here.

I will comment back

Swing Your Arms And Get Happy

October 29, 2008 at 7:12 am | Posted in children, dads, Families, moms, Mothers, parents, Self Esteem | 4 Comments
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If you are one of the 100 or so people to stop by today, please leave your comment as to why you came and what you want.

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Feature Article

Swing Your Arms and Get Happy

 

As a parent we get so stuck in our routine, our anxiety, our super frustration, it is imperative to bust out of it.  Sometimes you need some new thinking, sometimes you need some new ways of raising your children.  Sometimes you need to be different.

 

Today I am going to have you be different, but just barely.  This won’t really wake up your foot.  (See Yesterday’s entry)  But it will have an effect on you.

 

You have heard plenty of times to breath slowly and deeply, have a yoga breath.  You have heard about meditating.  You have heard about walking.  And you can do all of these to help your moods and tension.

 

Today, I am adding swing your arms.   You can stand still.  You can walk.  You can jump.  You can run.  Guess what?  You can even sit.

 

When you swing your arms you will activate some endorphins.  These are the happy hormones.  And happy hormones push tension, anxiety, and frustration out the door.

 

How should you swing your arms?  Well, you can swing them from hanging down, across at shoulder level, and you can do circles.  The important thing is to do large sweeping motions.  Not too fast, not short and jerky. 

 

The most important thing is to really get into it.  Obviously, don’t swing so hard you hurt yourself.  But have energy and spunk in it.

 

And go ahead and get silly.  You can play games with your kids (or just play them in your head).  You can swim the ocean of life.  Whack all the jungle out of the way.  Fly like your favorite bird. Make whirl winds of energy (The energy can either be your frustrations or tensions escaping, or excited free energy.)

 

There are times when the deep breath and meditation are perfect.  But there are times when we must move.  As a parent you need to do things to be the best you can be and releasing tension is one great thing you can do.

 

When you have endorphins floating around rather than negative hormones you brain can actually think more clearly.  You body uses less energy.  You won’t feel as tired.  And strangely, when you are less stressed your body can let go of the extra weight it is saving for that perpetual emergency you are creating with your tension.

 

So today swing your arms.  Do it as much as you can.  And put in a silly twist -if you can.

 

You will be such a better parent and person with this small little life change.

 

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I want to thank those of you who have taken the effort to refer GEM Parenting to your friends.  And remember if you get 5 friends to sign up for the Pearl Membership I will have a teleclass for you, at no cast.

 

But I am wondering if anyone has even tried to get a podcast, because not one has been purchased.  Are they just totally not interesting to you?  Is six dollars truly too expensive?  If I am going to be able to continue with GEM Parenting I need your support.  I want to give.  Let tell you, I really do.  But living in our culture costs money.  And I simply have to make some.

 

If what I have to offer isn’t appealing for money I will have ot go do something else,  This means of cours my time will spent at that, not helping you.

 

So if you are at all interested in having support from GEM Parenting I need your support now.  Please go and purchase a podcast.

http://www.GEMParenting.com/store.htm

 

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On the opposite side,  if you have the intention to change your parenting, and want to talk, dump your frustration, be anonymous, join Donna L. Johnson and me.  We are going to have a teleconference this Monday at 12 noon EST, 11CST, 10 MCT and 9 PST.  We will talk about your issues, your dilemmas, your problems as a parent, a mom, a woman.

 

This is an open discussion for you.  We will be there to support and guide you.  We will help you bring your spirit and soul into action.  We want to get your sprit and soul out of the box you have been storing them in.  It is a simple phone call for you.

 

It is back to my favorite way of doing things.  Helping you, guiding you and at no cost.

Phone details coming. 

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Sleeping Foot Disorder of Parenting

October 28, 2008 at 6:21 am | Posted in children, dads, Families, moms, Mothers, parents, Self Esteem | Leave a comment
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This is a simple problem that you have. 

  • You know what it is like to have a foot asleep. 
  • First you realize it is a sleep.
  • Second you try very hard to barely move it.  Maybe you can avoid the pain.
  • Third you moved it just too much and you have shooting pins and needles, you feel like the pain is more than you can stand.
  • But move it you must.  Your subconscious brain forces this to happen or the poor blood flow can cause permanent damage. 
  • Then in a moment that seems like forever of pain, you are fine. 
  • Your foot works just the way it should. 
  • All the anxiety and pain are gone.
  •  

 

This is the pattern that parents get into.  Only your subconscious brain isn’t quite so powerful.

You are a parent who is sleeping through your privileges and responsibilities as a parent.  You are just on the surface finding joy and wonder in parenting.

You are so scared to move.

When you do you are certain there will be shooting pains.

And you are right; growing pains are real, yet to grow you must move.

But with parenting you don’t have your subconscious brain forcing you to move.

And the tragedy here is you can raise your children while stuck in sleep.

The flow of energy can be severely diminished and your children will become adults.

But there will be long lasting, if not permanent, damage if you don’t shake yourself.

Yes, you have to actually get off your duff and move. 

 

You may have excruciating pain as you first move. 

The pain is the beginning of change, 

The change that opens the flow of energy.

 

But this new energy, just like with your foot, will be momentary.  It will dissipate.  It will diminish.  And you will be able to parent with real passion, purpose, and integrity.

You and your family will have the privilege to grow to have high self-esteem.  You will be more than simply satisfied with life.  You will cherish and flourish.  Your family will be that amazing family that everyone wonders how they can be so together.

 

I am sure you have heard of the Chinese noblewomen who had their feet bound in the past.  When they would have to have the bindings periodically replaced to put new ones on they cried in pain and begged to have the bindings replaced.  The flow of energy was too much for them to stand.  Yet, the binding made them incapable of standing.

 

Right now you are a bound parent.  You are living with your foot asleep.  And you not only ruin yourself by doing this, you take away from your children the most amazing gift there is.  You.

 

Wake up today.  Know there will be a pain.  Know that you and you family are worth getting past this pain.  If you don’t the best you can hope for is mediocrity in life, for you and your children.

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This week I am challenging you to wake up.  Do two things.  One is to tell your friends about GEMParenting.com.  You can easily do this by going to GEMParentng.com and clicking on the yellow box where it says “refer our site to a friend”

(If you have five friends sign up for the Pearl Membership I will host a teleclass just for you and your friends at no coat.)

The other is to get into action. Purchase a podcast while you are at GEMparenting. I mean really, they are just six dollars.  If you won’t do that then, you really just want to stay asleep. 

You must do something to get moving.  Your subconscious can’t do it.  You must do it with your will and your power.  Its called willpower.

Good Luck and parent with Passion, Purpose, and Integrity 

Grace

Wake up and love this day

October 27, 2008 at 10:04 am | Posted in children, dads, Families, moms, Mothers, parents, Self Esteem | 2 Comments
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Wow.  It’s motivational Monday again. I always love this day:  starting off and writing to you about how you can motivate yourself to be the best parent possible.  How you can truly parent with passion, purpose, and integrity.

 

I am motivating you to find the sleeping spot in your life. Give it a twitch. Wake up and love this day.

 

This week I am going to start off with two requests.  If you read last weeks Motivational Monday message you know I urged you to take the plunge.  Start changing your parenting.  And I suggested one way was to work with me.

 

Well, I had not one plunge taker.  Which would be fine, except last week my last client graduated.  This puts me in an awkward position.  I need to have GEM Parenting grow.  Even though I would dearly love to simply give everything I have to you for free, our culture doesn’t work that way.  I have bills to pay in relation to GEM Parenting.

 

So I am asking you to do two things for me, very low budget.

 

First I want each of you to tell one friend about GEM Parenting and the Pearl memebership.

As a matter of fact if you go overboard and have five friends sign up for the Pearl membership between Oct. 27 and Nov. 2  I will have a teleclass for you and your friends at no cost, complete with action guide and article.

 

Just send them the link to GEMParenitng.com and urge them to sign up in the yellow box.

Then send me a list of whom you sent emails to.

And if you are new you can count yourself in too.

 

The second request I have will cost $6.00.  I want each of you to go the GEM Parenting store and actually purchase one podcast.  With most podcasts you get an action guide and an article written in conjunction with podcast topic.  There are currently 24 podcasts, so I am sure there is one that can boost your parenting.  And they cost as much as a Starbucks visit. 

 Just to go GEMParenting.com/store.htm

 

If you can’t afford this, either you are truly poor or you don’t really want to try and change your parenting.  

 

If you want to change but $6 is honestly beyond your budget then shoot me an email and I will work something out for you.

 

With these two steps you will be helping both yourself and GEM Parenting.  As you know I am not a sales person.  I don’t ask for much from you. You can step up to the plate now and make this change for both of us.

 

And tomorrow I will be writing about The Sleeping Foot Disorder of Parenting.

 

Now, right now, send an email to at least one friend inviting them to GEM Parenting

and if you haven’t joined yet go ahead and join.

And then go directly to the GEM store and get your podcast.

 

Thanks and know the change you make is for both you and GEM Parenting.

 

As always Parent with Passion, Purpose, and Integrity,

 

Grace           

PS If you have comments about this letter I would love you to share them.

 

 

How Can You Be So Calm? You’re the busiest person I know.

October 22, 2008 at 7:13 am | Posted in Appreciation, attitudes, children, dads, Families, marriage, moms, Mothers, parents, Wednesday Wisdom | Leave a comment
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I have heard this for about twenty years.  And it is true.  There are few who have as busy a life as I do.  Yet I stay calm.  Oh, there are times when I am anxious.  But generally I just enjoy the ride.  There is a pattern to how I do things.  

Each morning as I wake up, I realize with wonder and excitement that a new day is starting.  I am just as excited every day as a kid on Christmas morning.  I start with just plain appreciating the day.  I look out the window and check the weather.  If it is sunny and clear I am thrilled for the adventure I can have outside.  If it is cloudy and rainy, I think of the fabulous indoors stuff I want to do.

Then I get to my questions.  Now you must understand that these questions are like the kid on Christmas.  I am excited about these things.  I am thrilled to be able to think them and work them out.  These are some of them.

  • How will it all turn out?  
  • What things will happen that I never thought would?
  • How will I get what I want to get done done?  

You have got to listen to the audio to understand how I really feel.  To listen cut and paste the URL below to your browser.

You see, you may ask yourself the same questions.  But you probably have fear and anxiety about them.  You worry that they might not all get done.  When you live that way, no matter how little you try to do, you are always overwhelmed and stressed.  You are riddled with anxiety.

Me? I just know that everything can’t get done.  And I just take each day for the privilege it is to have it.   I “do” my days with excitement, love, and constant appreciations.  

Take this day and love it.  Let your worries slide away.  Focus totally on your appreciations.  Fill your mind with the wonder of the moment.  When you do, you will have a great day.  Accomplish lots more than normal, and you will be calm and free from stress and overwhelm.

Now parent and live with 

Passion, Purpose, and Integrity

Grace

This blog has now reached over 8,000 visitors.  Thanks for coming.  The only thing now missing is your comments.  Let others know how you can reduce your stress.  Ask about your particular problem.  I know you are looking for answers.  You can only get them if you ask.

Are You Ready For the Parenting Plunge?

October 20, 2008 at 7:12 am | Posted in children, dads, Families, moms, Mothers, parents, Self Esteem | 2 Comments
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Happy Motivational Monday Grace,

Good Morning,
It is Motivational Monday.

Again already.
Have you taken any time last week to try loving your children?
Did you go into your bathroom even once to regroup?

Well, if you didn’t that’s OK, sort of.
Because here we are again at motivational Monday to start once more.

This week I have an idea. I have a graduation tomorrow. 
One of my clients is graduating.
She emailed me last spring. 
She was really struggling with self-acceptance.
It was affecting her parenting, her interactions with others,
Her self-esteem.
Basically her whole life.

She knew it was time for her to live her own life.
One without fear, stress, anxieties. 
She took the plunge.

She was desperate that her children did not grow up with
a mom who was just not her own best,
a mom who was suffering,
a mom who was unable to do the best for her children,
a mom who had low self-esteem.

She took the plunge.
She decided to change.
She emailed me for an appointment

And six months later she is graduating.
She has a new comfort zone,
She has a new way of self-acceptance.
She has her self-esteem.

For your motivation today I 
CHALLENGE you to take the plunge.

Do something this week
That will change who you are,
How you parent,
How you live for the rest of your life.

Are you ready? It just takes one email to get you started on 
Your journey.

Your journey to inner peace, 
Family pride,
And life changing self-esteem. 

Simply hit reply 
And take the plunge.

No matter what else you do today
parent with passion, purpose, and integrity.

Grace

Use Your Bathroom for a Parental Refuge

October 15, 2008 at 1:06 pm | Posted in children, dads, Families, moms, Mothers, parents, Self Esteem | Leave a comment
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Today I had to take a bit of my own medicine.  My kids were driving me crazy.  They were egging each other on, figuring just the exact thing that made the other one whine, shout, or just simply annoy each other.

I was preoccupied with LOTS going on.  You know, work related stuff, dishes, laundry, people coming for the weekend, bills-Oh my least favorite especially now-their school work.  And I am sure more than that.

I jumped right in with the kids for a while.  Then I pulled myself out.  Went to  my refuge-the bathroom- and locked the door.  And while there I got the answer.  I – yes it was me – who was at the bottom of this whole mess.  I was too preoccupied and they were lost.  

I came out ready to engage them.   They had spent the time getting more and more into each other’s hair.  with lots of NOISE.

I knew that sweet lovey dovey stuff was not going to work.  I simply ignored their stuff and spent totally fixed time going over what they needed to get done in the next fifteen minutes.  Their response was noisy at best, rude at worst.

I responded with “I know you don’t want to do it and that’s OK.”  I repeated this for a full five minutes till both were involved with their own things.  After that the day has been very smooth.

Take you time and get in control of yourself.  If you need to get away go to your personal refuge- we all have bathrooms.  Use your wisely.

You Scream, They Scream, We all Scream for Not Ice Cream

October 14, 2008 at 12:37 pm | Posted in children, dads, Families, moms, Mothers, parents, Self Esteem, Terrific Tuesday | Leave a comment
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Hi its Terrific Tuesday.  Get a handle on how to get a bit of love back into your parenting.

Your problem is you know that you are supposed to love your children.  And now you have Grace pointing out that you may in your heart love them, but you know you are not loving them in action.  You are hating them, or mothering, or just plain life.  

Today take a five minute break from your hating.  Get a picture you love of your children.   One that only brings pleasure, peace, joy, and happiness to you.  It must be a strong feeling.  Just look at the picture for five minutes.  Feel the love.  Let it envelope you.  Try it on as a scarf around your neck, a shawl draping over your shoulders.  Let the love be yours for these five minutes.

When the time is up, go back to what you were doing.  And when you are hearing your children scream, when you are shouting back, block out what you are actually seeing.  Have a little hallucination of the picture you were looking at.  This will give you just a speck of time to regroup and try to talk with a bit of love in your feelings.

When you talk with love this does not mean giving in.  You can be very firm with love.  You can be understanding.  Yet you are the parent and can love your children to good behavior.  

When they are demanding, bratty, spoiled, unruly give them limits.  Speak over and over this phrase, “I understand that you don’t want to and that’s OK.”  Say it, say it, say it.  You can’t say it too much.  

Now go get your picture, lock yourself in the bathroom with it and feel the love for five minutes.  And for the rest of the day remember to say, “I understand that you don’t want to and that’s OK.”

Do You Really Parent with Love? Bet not!

October 13, 2008 at 6:39 am | Posted in children, dads, Families, moms, Mothers, parents, Self Esteem | Leave a comment
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Its Motivational Monday.

And I want to share wth you the fundamental aspect of parenting.  You guessed it.  it is love.  Not too surprising, except when you think about how many times you mix up hate into it.  For instance, when you find your kids annoying, irritating, overwhelming.  When your let them know what a brat they are being. When you know that they are driving you crazy.  

You are letting hate in and using it as your parenting guide when you are so stressed out by what to do that you can’t sleep at night.  Or maybe you scream at your kids.  You may even ridicule your kids.  Or you may hit, slap, or spank them.

And worse than all these you may ignore your kids.  

This day and everyday this week remember that you do love your kids. Keep a little running count of each time you feel love towards your kids.  This can be a simple tally on the fridge.  

By taking the time to truly notice and make a mark of loving your children, you will bring your focus back to the true essential nature of parenting.

Be sure to parent with passion, purpose, and integrity

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