How to Use Early Socialization and Keep Peer Pressure at Bay For Life.

August 5, 2008 at 5:23 pm | Posted in children, dads, Families, moms, Mothers, parents, Self Esteem | 1 Comment
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Of course after slamming working moms yesterday, I knew I wanted to comment on the other side of the coin. 

 

How to Use Early Socialization and Keep Peer Pressure at Bay For Life.

 

When your child is young and impressionable is a wonderful time to set up life values and morals.  Let these be part of how you live and how your child lives.  Let your values be your guidelines.  Hold fast and never waiver.

If your child is in preschool or daycare absolutely only choose a place that you feel is fantastic, comfortable, and loving.  Don’t pick the place that is most convenient and don’t decide simply on price.  Get the place that is best for you and your family.

When you lower your standards, you dismiss your child’s value as a person in the process.  Choose anywhere from three to ten values that you truly believe in.  Live by them.  Use them as your guide when setting up your child’s socialization and activities.

My favorite values are:

  • Do unto others, as you would have them do unto you.
  • There is no bad weather, only bad dressing- I am an out door enthusiast.
  • Variety is the spice of life.
  • Every one is neurotic about something; so don’t worry about theirs or yours.
  • Being polite is necessary.
  • With every privilege comes responsibility.
  • You are what you eat.
  • Physical activity is essential for well-being.
  • Love and cherish your children- always.
  • Follow the Serenity Prayer

 

When you become clear about your values and morals, take them to heart and practice them, you can have your children at home full time, in part time socialized situations or in full time day care, and you will be providing your children with the only recipe to enable them to have “solid self-esteem, individual strength and character…and be friendly, well adjusted and smart.”  (Amy- comment from yesterday) 

 

The point is by setting up your life and your child’s life to be set on a solid course of values and morals; you free your child from needing to look to others for approval.  By seeing that even when faced with criticism and problems you hold your ground, you know who you are, what is important, and what to let go of, your child learns from basic living that inner strength, self confidence, and personal resolve create inner peace and harmony. 

Give yourself the credit you deserve.  Put your values down on paper.  Put them right out in front where anyone who comes in your house can see them.  Love them and cherish them. 

If you don’t really know your values now, you can use ones that are already out there.  Every religion has them.  They are all over the place.  And, as you can see from mine, be specific about whom you are and what you think is One Hundred Percent Essential for your family. 

 

As always,

Parent with Passion, Purpose, and Integrity,

Grace

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How Can Early Socialization Screw Up Your Child?

August 4, 2008 at 3:07 pm | Posted in children, dads, Families, moms, Mothers, parents, Self Esteem | 5 Comments
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Motivational Monday:

I had a question asking about socializing her four year old.

Here is a slightly changed response:

I do not think if you are interacting with your child as an at home mom there is any need to worry about getting her “ready” for school by sending her to day care, preschool, or any otherout of home, no mother involved experience.

What you are giving your daughter in terms of love, guidance, andsupport will give her more than any other program can offer.

Many mothers do not stay at home because they do not have an option.They need to work to make financial ends meet.  

Believe me, there is nothing better than being with your child as long as you can.

As far as getting your daughter to be social and have social interactions, simply do activities that you both enjoy.

You daughter does not need to have lots of friends, be with the same people all the time, or be away form you to develop her independence

and her own personality.

When children are shuttled off to day care, set with peer groups at these young ages parents are teaching their children be dependent on peer pressure.  Being a part of the group and culture is more important than individual strength and character.  These parents are teaching their children to be dependent on other esteem, rather than self-esteem.

What you are doing in your “old fashioned” way is setting the foundation for your daughter to have natural high self-esteem, to be self resilient and self reliant.  You are teaching your child how to avoid the problems, stress, and anxieties caused by peer pressure.

And you are saving yourself thousands of dollars.  You will not need to purchase everything so that your daughter fits in.  You will not need to sign up for every program that comes along. You may even save money on future therapy.

Be proud and content that you have chosen the best, hardest, most rewarding, most frustrating, fulfilling, lonely, emotionally charged, and with out question joy and wonder filled path for any mother.

By choosing this “old fashioned” path you are re-pioneering and repeating what history has proved over and over.  Mothering is the most rewarding thing you can do.  And it is the most beneficial way you can raise your daughter.

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