Wisdom Wednesday: Let Your Joy Out! The Joy of Parenting

June 10, 2008 at 11:09 pm | Posted in attitudes, children, dads, Families, Family Time, GEM Parenting Secrets, How To, moms, Mothers, parents, relationships, respect, Self Esteem, toddlers, Tweens, Wednesday Wisdom | 2 Comments
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Joy in life can be so fulfilling.  And joy in parenting can change the whole thing from a chore, an overwhelming confusion, an energy depleting life style to one with confidence, ease of making decisions, and feeling energized day in and day out.

Each morning I have a special routine to wake up my children.  I simply love how I wake them up.  And it is filled with joy.

The first child I wake up, who is the youngest, I give her kisses and kisses and kisses.  All over her adorable cutie pie face.  It never fails. We just love each other.  And there is nothing that stops the joy of being her mother when I do this. 

The next child is the teenager- a slightly Oh so much more difficult task.  I ease us into this.  I give her a gentle message.  I start with her head, do her neck and shoulders, her back and finish with her legs and feet.  And this is not a deep thorough message- it is truly an awakening.  And we both are full of joy from this simple routine. 

I save the hardest for last.  She is my sleeping angel.  And it is very hard for her to go from being asleep to being awake.  She has a special stuffy ( stuffed animal if  you did not know)  that helps to wake her up.  Lambie talks with her, hugs her, and asks her take to the bathroom and get her dressed.  (Just in case you don’t know this, I talk for Lambie.)  My sleeping angel gets to wake up to be in her imaginary world before she hits the real world.  Waking up is peaceful and you guessed it, full of joy.

My eldest daughter is now an adult on her own, but we had a routine that I still do when she comes to visit- and she does with her self most mornings.  I say good morning to each part of her- The same pattern as the message, but this is just a touch with me saying good morning head, good morning ears, good morning eyes, etc.

So each morning starts with joy.  No yelling, panicking.  And then we can get on with what the day has to offer.

Now guess how long all this takes?  With three kids I can be finished in ten minutes, or of course I can take a full half hour.  The choice is simple for me.  I can do that tension filled, pushy, anxiety filled that we are not going to be ready on time wake up- probably taking ten to fifteen minutes from the time I say get up to when the last is actually up- or I can do my routine.  Which would you pick?

Now if you want to start a better joy filled morning routine tell your kids you are going to do it.  And let them know that you are absolutely going to do this.  Be calm, firm, and realistic.  It will take both you and your kids some time to get from that state you are in now to what I do.  I have faith in you.  Try it a lot.  Let your joy out.  Be proud of it.  Let your joy engulf you.

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Tickle Me Tuesday: The Joy of Parenting…Wisdom from Grace

June 10, 2008 at 8:45 am | Posted in attitudes, children, Families, Family Time, GEM Parenting Secrets, moms, Mothers, parents, relationships, Self Esteem | Leave a comment
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The Joy of Parenting

When you hear these words, is the first thought that comes to your mind the Joy of Cooking?  Well, if it wasn’t now, it is.  There are some significant similarities and some vast differences between cooking and parenting.

The two major differences between parenting and cooking are:

  • If you burn the meal you can always make another one.
  • If you screw up the kids, you have to figure out how to unscrew up the kids.  You can’t just get a new set.
  • Although a cookbook can have thousands of recipes in it, if you truly follow the instructions exactly, there is little room for failure of the one dish you are making.
  • Not so with kids.  If you do get a recipe, it can be completely useless for your kid.  And can even backfire.  With kids you need to take in the information that is given you and adjust for your entire family.

And these differences make you, the parent, anxious, fearful, confused and overwhelmed.  When you get stuck in these emotions with your parenting, things begin to go wrong. 

The joy of parenting seems to be non-existent for you.  And in fact it is.  Oh, you may have a few glimmers and fleeting moments of that joy.  And you can really see it in other parents and kids.  But where is it for you?  Why can’t you just get the book and figure out the recipe?  Obviously people have been raising kids forever.  So why is it so hard for you to find and actually live fulltime with the joy of parenting?

Your answer is where you are looking for it.  How do you think it will come to you?  I am not going to say simply look in your heart and you will find the answers.  You already have done that.  Or just let it come to you.  You have probably tried that as well.  And besides, if that were all it took, then there would be none of the issues that you have!

No my dear, it takes much more than that simple inward glance or waiting till it gets to you to have joy in your parenting. 

If you are missing the joy of parenting, you need to purposefully bring joy to your parenting.  But how do you bring joy to your parenting and where is this illusive joy hiding in the first place?

Now is the part where the joy of cooking and the joy of parenting come together. 

By following the recipe in the cookbook, you can have one pretty good dish.  By following this recipe of parenting you can have one aspect of the joy of parenting. 

When you make one great dish, you are inspired to make another one.  As you continue to make recipes you become more excited and interested in cooking.  And when one flops, no big deal.  Just make another one. 

With parenting it really is the same.  When you find one way to have joy in your parenting, you become excited.  You are confident.  You create more and more ways to have joy in your parenting.  And if one way flops to bring joy, it is not the whole parenting that has flopped.  It is not your kids that have flopped.  And in many cases the flop is so funny that there is still some joy in the humor of it.

Here is what you want to know – How to get that first bit of joy into your parenting; opening the door so that you can have the excitement and confidence to gain more and more joy in your parenting.  

Start with using respect for your children and respect for your parenting.  With mutual respect you are no longer looking for something on the outside or hoping it will just appear.  This is purposeful.  When you use a recipe you do things in a purposeful way.

Here are four things to do to be respectful of your children.

1.  Ask them a question that is specific. 

  • “Did you jump rope with Sally today?”
  • “Where you able to answer most of the questions on your math test?” 
  • “How did you skin your knee?”

2.  When your child answers, you look them in the eye.  Be listening only to them.  Multitasking masks the joy of parenting.

3.  When your child comes to you and wants your attention, either give it to them fully or let them know when you will be available.  Then you must set your timer and be available when you say you will be.  It is no different than you wanting them to go to bed, come to dinner, or get ready for school. 

4.  Stop always multitasking when you are with your kids.  Make real commitments to do one simple thing with your children each day.  It can be as simple as talk to them for a conversation without TV, computer, cooking, homework, or anything else going on.

I know this may be hard- you are so trained in multitasking and your children are so accustomed to you being involved in at least two things at any given moment that you both find this awkward.  That’s OK.  The first time you use a recipe book it is awkward.  Just have a simple and complete conversation. 

When you follow this simple recipe for respect to your children, you will automatically gain respect in one aspect of your parenting. 

You will see that using respect brings joy to parenting.  It takes away the tension, fear and anxieties.  You are confident.  Your family has high self-esteem.  In a nutshell, respect will bring joy to your parenting.

Grace E. Mauzy, M.A.
Founder of GEM Parenting
www.GEMParenting.com

Grace E. Mauzy, MA works with overwhelmed, stressed parents having difficulty comfortably cope with parenting. Parents learn positive intervention utilizing strategies and tactics to develop high self-esteem in children. Grace is the founder of GEM Parenting – an online community dedicated to parenting with passion, purpose, and integrity. (GEMParenting.com) Through Grace’s professional and personal life experiences, she has a unique ability to understand and empower parents to implement new parenting styles, allowing them to challenge themselves to break free of their destructive behaviors and attitudes.  And raise their children with confidence, peace, and harmony.  To learn more about her powerful speaking, coaching, and workshops, or to receive Grace’s motivating audio course “The 7 Deadly Mistakes Parents Make That Create Spoiled Brats – And How You Can Avoid Them!” visit http://www.7deadlymistakesparentsmake.com or visit http://www.GEMParenting.com.

Motivational Monday: The Joy of Parenting

June 10, 2008 at 8:32 am | Posted in attitudes, Creative Crayon Club, dads, Families, Focused Fridays, Fun Activities, GEM Parenting Secrets, Mothers, Motivational Monday, parents, peer pressure, relationships, Self Esteem, Thoughtful Thursday, Wednesday Wisdom, Welcome | Leave a comment
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The first thing I want to give you is a great big Welcome to GEM Parenting.  Have you come to GEM Parenting with anxiety about your children, worries about how to discipline them, and with a heart ache because you really thought being a parent would have some joy in it? 

One of the most over looked and least understood areas of parenting is the joy.  When you find joy in parenting your anxieties and worries seem to drift away.  You are aware of how and what to do. 

Parents that I have led to their own joy of parenting have been able to introduce positive intervention, live with high self-esteem, and be free of social and media pressures to conform to.

This week is your opportunity to bring joy to your parenting.  For today I want you to pay particular attention to one single aspect of your child that you cherish.  Disregard everything else.  Do it for one whole day.  At the end of the day come back and share what happened.

EnJoy your parenting.

Here’s what’s happening this week.

Terrific Tuesday:

I will be sharing a personal experience of finding joy in my parenting.  You know I think it is great to be all learned and experienced, but if I can’t share what and how I do things you just can’t really get what I’m talking about.  So I hope you will come back and see some joy.

Wisdom Wednesday:

Wednesday, I will put on the hat of the expert. I will explain the joy of parenting from the standpoint of the problem and the solution.

Thoughtful Thursday:

 On Thursday, I am going to share with you a case study of a client I have worked with.  Not in a scientific research way, but I hope in a way that is enlightening and enjoyable to read.

Follow up Friday:

On Fridays, I have a free radio show and it is completely your questions and my answers.  There is no sermon, no didactic -That means teacher talks student listen – teaching.  Only your questions that I answer on the spot.

There are a couple of things that do happen as well, I do have surprises for the listeners.  And especially for the first call in of the day. 

If you want to be sure that your question is answered then mail it to me, Grace@GEMParenitng.com.  The first question I receive each week will get a ticket to join a live teleclass.

Also, if you are unable to attend the live show, there is a recording.  So you can still send in your question.

Saturday is Creative Crayon Club:

And of course you will be getting ideas of how to bring joy to your house and your parenting. 

It’s a busy week for you, I know.  You are a parent with worries, concerns and fears.  So, come back each day to gain a bit more peace and guidance to being one amazing parent filled with joy of parenting.

 

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