Wednesday Wisdom: Stop Whining in Kids, Increase Their Self-Esteem

April 1, 2008 at 11:59 pm | Posted in 1, children, Creative Crayon Club, dads, Families, Focused Fridays, Fun Activities, GEM Parenting Secrets, Health, How To, moms, Mothers, Motivational Monday, parents, relationships, Safety, Self Esteem, siblings, spirituality, teens, Thoughtful Thursday, toddlers, Transcendent Tuesday, Tweens, Wednesday Wisdom, Welcome | Leave a comment
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

animated-green-star.gifStop Whining in Kids, Increase Their Self Esteem  animated-green-star.gif  

Whining in kids has become an epidemic. Everywhere you go kids whine, and the worst part is parents can’t figure out what to do to stop this annoying behavior. Many parents think their kids will outgrow it, but you can see more and more young adults whining – having been raised with this behavior as the norm. Whining doesn’t automatically go away.

Not only does whining stay unless another behavior is taught to replace it, whining will decrease the whiner’s self esteem. So by letting your child continue to whine you create stress and tension for yourself and actually encourage your child to have low self-esteem.

How has whining become such a major part of our culture? It goes back to how the media is marketing to us and we are responding. We have so many role models in the public media who whine, both in their professional parts and in their private lives that we are beginning to think of whining as a natural and acceptable form of communication. But we all know, no matter what, we hate to hear whining from other people, especially our own kids.

What can you do as a parent to stop whining in your house, if there is so much rampant whining going on in all directions around you? I suggest a simple three-part process. First, you need to change your attitude and thoughts about whining. Second, you need to implement some behavior changes in yourself and your children. Third, you need to follow through with these changes for at least eight weeks.

Changing your attitude about whining can be truly simple. Each time you hear whining around you, don’t have a huffy breath response. Instead say to yourself, “That’s whining. I don’t like it. It is not acceptable in my house.” This is for ANY whining– TV, radio, magazines, books, friends, your children’s friends, you, your spouse, and of course your children. Some people like concrete evidence of their changes. To do this, make a two-column chart. On the left will be the time and place you allowed whining in your house. On the right will be the time and place you chose to not accept whining in your house. Obviously, you want the right side to become longer than the left. For two weeks just jot down what you think. This gives you the opportunity to really see where all the whining is.

After two weeks, you will begin to put actions behind your thoughts. Now that you are fully aware of where the whining is, and have begun to repeatedly say to yourself that you do not accept whining in your house, it is time to go public. You may think this will be pretty hard because, as you see, you have whining everywhere. But it can be simple. Each time whining occurs around you, say to the whiner – even objects – “I am making a change in our house. Since I know changes are hard we need to work together. Whining is not acceptable in our house. Let’s hit the rewind button. With the rewind button you can say what you want without whining.” This is a cut and dry version. Sometimes it is easiest to start with this exact wording. But if you can put humor and fun in it, both you and your family will enjoy the changes.

The third step is to follow through with these changes for eight weeks. It takes six weeks to form a new habit, so by going to eight the changes will no longer be a new habit. Whining will be gone from your house.

Enjoy your whine-free day!

     signature.gif

To have a downloadable version of Grace’s article, please click here!

Advertisements

Leave a Comment »

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Blog at WordPress.com.
Entries and comments feeds.

%d bloggers like this: