Transcedent Tuesday: Stop Whining Children – Create High Self-Esteem

March 31, 2008 at 11:03 pm | Posted in 1, children, Creative Crayon Club, dads, Families, Focused Fridays, Fun Activities, GEM Parenting Secrets, Health, How To, moms, Mothers, Motivational Monday, parents, relationships, Safety, Self Esteem, siblings, teens, Thoughtful Thursday, toddlers, Transcendent Tuesday, Tweens, Wednesday Wisdom, Welcome | Leave a comment
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GEM Parenting Presents Dr. Marilyn Heins

 
Dr. Heins is a Pediatrician, author, newspaper columnist, lecturer, wife, mother, step-mother, and grandmother.
Dr. Heins‘ advice balances the needs of the parent with the
needs of the child.
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 Why do young children whine?

What can parents do about it before the whining drives them crazy?

Young children whine to get attention and all kids whineWhining seems to be an “innate” behavior, sort of between crying and speaking. Kids come into this world with all the necessary equipment to cry and they are also programmed to learn language.  Every preschooler is entitled to a cranky day when he or she feels out of sorts and whines a lot. Such whining merely indicates that the child is having a bad day. However, chronic whining–the kind that drives a parent up the wall–is often unwittingly caused by the way parents react to the whining child.

THE BEST WAY TO STOP WHINING IS TO CHANGE RESPONSE BEHAVIOR IN THE PARENT.

Here are the Heins’ suggestions for dealing with chronic whining:

  • When your child whines, never give in to the child. Establish a firm rule: we do not give the child anything unless it is asked for in a non-whining tone of voice.
  • Be sure your child knows what you mean by whining and how it sounds. Role-play using a normal voice and a whining voice and ask the child to do the same.
  • Tell the child that whining hurts your ears. If the child can’t or won’t stop whining, the child will have to go the “whining place” (somewhere out of earshot) and stay there until the whining stops. Tell the child that it’s OK to whine as long as it’s done in the whining place where you don’t have to hear it.

The child can come out of the whining place as soon as the whining stops. The child controls the length of stay by controlling the behavior. (This is different from a time-out place where the child must stay until the timer goes off.) A whining place works for two reasons:

  1. The child does not get attention from the parents and 
  2. The parents do not have to listen to the obnoxious sound of a whining child.  

  • Try to prevent whining by keeping the child from getting overly tired or hungry.
  • Try to eliminate the child’s need to whine by really listening when the child properly asks for your attention.

Remember focused attention is a parent’s undivided attention to the child. And every child needs some of this focused attention every day. Often the “whining-est” households are the ones where parents use the phrases, “In a minute!” or “Not now, I’m busy!” many times a day. These are legitimate phrases to use on occasion, but don’t overdo it with a three year old. To a three year old, a minute is a long time.

I am personally convinced that whining is much less common among children whose parents provide brief, but intense and readily responsive, attention when the child needs it. This seems to “immunize” the child so that he or she is better able to resist the whining virus.

Dr. Heins

www.ParentKidsRight.com

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You can download this article by clicking on the link below

http://www.gemparenting.com/teleseminars/2008/040208-stop-whining-expert-heins-marilyn.pdf 

Enjoy your day!

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Motivational Monday: Whining Children

March 30, 2008 at 11:20 pm | Posted in 1, children, Creative Crayon Club, Families, Focused Fridays, Fun Activities, GEM Parenting Secrets, Health, How To, moms, Mothers, Motivational Monday, parents, relationships, Self Esteem, siblings, spirituality, teens, Thoughtful Thursday, toddlers, Transcendent Tuesday, Tweens, Wednesday Wisdom, Welcome | Leave a comment
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Hi and Welcome to GEM Parenting! 

If you have been a follower of our programs, you may have wondered where we were. Well, I have been doing what I do best.  I have been parenting my children through their winter activities.  You see my, children are high-level ski racers.  This means in the winter I am extremely busy with them.  Now we are winding down from that high level of activity and I can refocus on your family self-esteem needs, which is the other thing I do best.  I have to say I have really missed you over the past month.   

This week we will be talking about whining children.  I see whining children as an epidemic.  Everywhere you go children use this high-pitched tone to try and get what they want.  It is incredibly annoying as a parent to hear, and the behavior actually lowers your child’s self-esteem.  So with whining you have a double negative.  The simplest way to start to rid whining from your house is to have your child repeat what they want to say with a new tone.

Stop Whining Children – Create High Self Esteem

MP3 File

Join us for this week to learn why whining reduces your child’s self-esteem and how to eradicate whining from your child’s behavior.

                                            Stop Whining

Transcendent Tuesday:  Tomorrow we will have an exciting article.  You don’t want to miss it!

Wisdom Wednesday:  You will get an article directly from me with my personal twist of how to get rid of whining from your children and actually create a home with natural high self-esteem.

You can join GEM Parenting Secrets on Wednesday, at 4:00 p.m. EST, for the teleseminar Eradicate Whining from Your Children’s Behavior, and Create High Self-Esteem Behavior in its PlaceClick here for sign up and info.

For only $5.99 you can join this teleseminar and find out the best ways to stop whining in your children and have a family filled with high self-esteem.

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Thoughtful Thursday:  This is the day the podcast , Eradicate whining from Your Children’s Behavior, and Create High Self-Esteem Behavior in its Place, will be released to the public.  The podcast will not be available till Thursday.                                             

Focused Friday:  Send in your questions about whining children today so that we can give you feedback by Friday.  Email your questions to me at Grace@gemparenting.com.

Creative Crayon ClubCome join us for some activities and new products to help reduce whining in your children. Remember to sign up today for GEM Parenting Secrets. 

                     0704crayons_m.gif                     Happy Kids

Have a wonderful week!

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