Focused Fridays: Mother-in-Laws

November 23, 2007 at 6:44 pm | Posted in dads, Families, Focused Fridays, Holidays, marriage, moms, Mothers, relationships, Self Esteem, Tweens | Leave a comment
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Question:  I am at my in-laws.  I love them dearly, but my mother-in-law is always telling me what to do and how to do it.  I just don’t want to make her upset, but I also don’t want to do everything that she tells me to do.  How in the world can I manage to do what I want to do and not insult my mother-in-law by not doing what she wants me to do?

GEM Answer:  This can be tricky, because you want to keep being on good terms with your mother-in-law, but you do not want to be her clone.  TO be able to do your own thing tell your mother-in-law that you appreciate her suggestions and you will consider them.  Emphasize that you know she did a great job with her parenting because she raised such a wonderful child that you fell in love with and are married to.  It can also help to let her know that you understand that her comments are only because she loves her family so much.  But you are the parent of this family and you will be doing things differently.  You don’t need to be rude.  Just be firm.  And remember this is your family.

It is important for your own self-esteem to be sure of your own parenting.  If you are not then get sure of yourself.  You don’t need to waffle.  There are billions of ways to parent and the one you choose is yours.  If you are unsure of yourself then make a commitment today to follow your own wonderful parenting ideas. 

If you have ideas of how to deal with loving, but over bearing mother-in-laws then please add you comments.  We’d all love to know.

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