Is It time to tell the truth about Santa?

December 18, 2009 at 10:45 am | In 1 | Leave a Comment
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I have to say – No its not time. Let your children have this special innocence AND even foster it.

To understand why I think this check out:

http://www.sheknows.com/articles/812726/page:2

an article written explaining my view

Thanksgiving- Are you going to make me cry?

November 25, 2009 at 10:14 am | In 1 | Leave a Comment

Hey GEM Parents,

It’s almost Turkey Day.  This may be one of my absolute favorite holidays.  For me its full of cooking- which I LOVE to do

Family- not huge, but as many together as we can have-  This year we’ll be ten.

We have a few traditions for Thanksgiving-

We chop lots of celery and onions till we are all crying and laughing because we are crying over the onions.

We rake some leaves.

We watch the Macy’s Day Parade, then the girls make up dances.

We watch the dog show – and all pick our favorite- Its usually the smaller one, but always the fluffiest one.

Then we have those that really have to do with being Thankful.

When we set the table we put seven kernels of popcorn on each plate.  Then when all the dishes and the turkey are taking up every spare space on the table we take a moment to compare the contrast of the seven corn kernels and the abundance of what we are about to eat.

What’s the significance of the seven corn kernels? – That’s what the Pilgrims had left of their provisions for their daily portion of food.

And that is the amount that some people have today!

No matter that I have done this for my whole life- The contrast always brings me to a real deep Thankfulness for all that I have. Even in my worst moments I know I have more than seven kernels of corn!

At some point when we are eating we go around the table and say what we are Thankful for. Yes this is canned and corny.  Lots of the regular stuff- “My family, my food, my sports, my house,” then everyone has something special to add- and I ALWAYS cry.  – I did even when I was a kid.

But now it’s a big joke and they get the tissues out (I secretly think they try to see who can make me cry the most)

And I guess that’s the best part for me.  Listening to everyone share little and HUGE things that they are thankful for.

SO for this Thanksgiving I am asking you two things

1) What are you thankful for?- I’m a sap about this. I really want to have a few tears over what you moms have to say! You can say it here and know I will really appreciate what you have to say. And no one will say anything stupid or mean about you for saying it.  AND no kids to make you anxious about saying it.

2) You may know that GEM Parenting is supporting the African Library Book Drive.

And just as I thought- you all really want to help out and give books, but it’s just a bit complicated to get the boopks to me.

SO instead it turns out the African Library Book Drive is in DESPERATE need of donations to help ship the books. I talked with a few charter members of GEM Parenting and we think that a $5.00 donation would be exactly right for GEM Parenting members.

So to give your donation click on the link below- fill out the form and you are done.

http://tinyurl.com/AfricanBookFS

PLEASE do these two things RIGHT now.

You are moms and I know as well as you, if you walk away and don’t do either you will just not do them.

And then you get to be stuck with the guilty feeling of not having made me happy- not so traumatic.

But you also get stuck with the guilt that with such a little time and effort and only $5.00 you can really help some kids who have only seven corn kernels some days – and of course NO books at all.

And that’s a big guilt so if you pick one- choose the donation.

Thanks for being a part of GEM Parenting -  I know its been a sleepy place for a while, I’ve been really concentrating on a new venture- Tigress Teens- Hot Spot fro Teen Girls Athletes.  And now that that is getting a solid start I will have time back hrer again.

But I really had to touch bases with you here at Thanksgiving to let you know I am honored that you came here and are a part of the GEM Parenting community.

Have a great Thanksgiving,

Grace

PS Do your donation NOW

http://tinyurl.com/AfricanBookFS

Girl the Boys that come in your path

November 1, 2009 at 12:33 pm | In 1 | Leave a Comment
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Just a quick update about Jilly’s coed hockey team-(Jilly is Grace’s 9 yo daughter, Jamie and Jeanee’s little sister).  The team is coed.  A girl scored the first goal.  There was no time division between how much the girls played as compared to the boys.  And most importantly there was NO difference between the aggressive spirit or the skills level of the boys or girls.

When I was a girl most of this would have been really Bizarre.  There were few if any girls who even played ice hockey.  And those that did had a real tough time of it.  They had to be way tough, take constant attack and abuse-from their own team members and their parents.  Some leagues refused to allow the girls to play at all.  Some refs decided AT THE GAMES that they would not allow the girls to play.  To have a coed team be the norm is fantastic!

The attitude of girls has changed immensely as well.  The fact that the girl who got the first goal knew what she could do and acted upon her ability and chance for a goal without holding anything back was thrilling to see.  There are still some girls, when put in a coed situation, who hold back for some unfortunate fear of upsetting boys.

The time playing is extremely important.  When a player is excellent yet made to sit on the bench due to being a girl you can be sure it has a negative effect on her.  To have a team that regards the girls as having as much skill, ability, and experience as the boys allows the girls to be at their best.  There is no need to feel anxious or worried that “as a girl I some how don’t make the mark.”

Out on the ice, when they were in their uniforms, pads and helmets, it was impossible to tell which were boys and which were girls.  Again in the past, the girls had a body language that made them stand apart from the boys.  This has disappeared.  The girls have the same energy and stance as any boy out there- some with more of the athletic stance than the boys.

You go girls!  And girl all the boys that come in your path!

 

This is blog post in http://TigressTeens.ning.com

If you are a teen girl athlete you should check this out

Plain Old Tuesday or Terrific Tuesday?

October 27, 2009 at 8:21 am | In Terrific Tuesday, attitudes | Leave a Comment
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It’s just plain old Tuesday. It’s not the beginning of the week. It’s not really the middle. It has no significance. It’s just a day.

Yet today is the most important day today. It’s this day that really matters- Without today you would not be. None of us would be.

I know you all work for the day of when your family runs smoothly.  Nothing gets in the way-. Those days are unique and special. You try to be at your best. You look forward to the excitement and adrenalin rush of the day. The anticipation builds and the day comes. Yes, those are the days that make up for today- plain old nothing Tuesday.

Wait a minute. I started this with Terrific Tuesday of Plain Old Tuesday, so why am I slumping up Tuesday this way?

You see everyday in your life matters. Some are memorable. Others just happen- you get up and eventually you go to bed- plain old Tuesday for sure. Yet it’s these regular days that set you apart. When you can take your mediocrity, your normal, and bring it to great then you will be great. Settling at any moment can bring you from being terrific to being good. Good is the antithesis of being terrific and great.

So what makes you be terrific today?

Now you put your comments in. Lets see what makes you parents tick on plain old Tuesday.

When did chores stop being a dirty word for teens?

October 8, 2009 at 8:07 pm | In responsibilities, teenagers | 1 Comment

Today I have a new teenager in my house.  Braces have started for her.  It’s kind of funny though.  When I was a kid I had braces on when I was ten to twelve.  It was considered WAY too early by most of my friends’ moms.  But now it’s really common.   And starting at 13 is on the late side now.

Now I think this is kind of funny because it seems that everything is happening at younger and younger ages, even to have braces being at younger ages.

So what is there to make your kid know s/he’s a teenager now?  There is still the driver’s license.  And that is a big one for sure.  But that happens well after you have become a teenager.  How about drinking?  No, that’s out (thank goodness) till you are supposed to be an adult.  Texting?  Nope, it’s brand new to the world, but it doesn’t have much to being a teenager.  Talking on the phone? Well, there is an increase as a teenager, but it is not like when I was kid.  Teenagers totally hogged the phone, got grounded because of talking too much on the phone.  Now everyone has their own phone so who cares how much you talk.

Oh here’s something that most of my freinds had when we became teens- Chores – Oh that was a dirty word.  But it also meant we were teenagers.  That concept- giving kids responsibility around the house- is surely an olden days, totally outdated fashion.  What is there for kids to do anyway?  -The dishes, the laundry, vacuum, (oh lowliest of jobs) the toilets.  Oh heaven forbid we have our over taxed kids do any of these things.

Uh oh, a bit of my opinion is leaking out here.  Yes, it is disgraceful that our kids be asked to partake of any job in our houses.  Why they just have way too much to do.  And so do we.

Yes we have so much to do now that we have all these things to help us keep track of everything we have to do, that no matter what we just have more to do.  And when could we ever get around to having our kids do any chores?

Do you have any idea of how to get kids to do chores and why you might even want them to do any?  Could it be related in any way to being a teenager?  Do chores start earlier?  What do you think will happen to these kids who never do any chores?

Whew- lots of questions.  Got any ideas or answers?  If so I suggest you hit the comment button and let us know.

Is It Tomorrow Yet?

October 7, 2009 at 8:33 pm | In attitudes | Leave a Comment
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Here it is late at night for me.  Not so late for some of my kids.  I remember that days when I had all my kids in bed by 8:00.  And I would be sleeping by 8:30.  Oh how I loved those days.  And we would all be up in the morning singing, happy and playing.  But now I have one child left who on her own- well almost on her own- gets up in the morning.

The other daughter at home is a SSSLLLLOOOOWWWW riser.  And with home schooling, she often forgets about the necessity of getting up.  So every now and then I spend the day letting her know and understand the privileges she gets.

Today was one of those days.  When she strolled downstairs at 9:00,  when she had her breakfast at 9:30, when she did her math test in pajamas, when she got to go for a bike ride after lunch, and now that she has just gotten home from dance she does not have to stay up for the next two hours to get her homework done.

These are her privileges for now.  And what do I get out of her being home schooled?

Sometimes it’s as easy as pie to understand.  You see I am just like you.  I have all kinds of stuff to do.  Busy stuff that really doesn’t mean too bits of anything if I get it done or not.  Only somehow it SEEMS like if I don’t get it done I, or one of my kids, will just fall all apart.

And so with home schooling I have this time when we are not actually crazy with that stuff.  But really the thing is that no matter how you raise your kids.  You get consumed with all the stuff.

So here’s what I am doing- writing you- and then I will go up and read to my kids, know that whatever is on my list that did not get done again today will still be on my list tomorrow and the next tomorrow and the next.

Because tomorrow I get to start again, but it will never be today again.  You know that old cliche- Only it is true.  You just do what you can today.  Be thankful you have your kids and know that one day you won’t have them. You better really know that because no matter what you do, they will be gone.  And anything else would be too sad to think about.

Night all. Sleep well- I am sure I will now that I have shared this with you.

With Our Busy Schedules, What Are Your 3 Valid Tips for Getting Dinner Ready in a Flash?

October 6, 2009 at 9:29 am | In 1, Diet / Nutrition, Family Time, How To | Leave a Comment
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With Our Busy Schedules, What Are Your 3 Valid Tips for Getting Dinner Ready in a Flash?

You know it is truly a miracle that everyday we can do what we as moms do. Who knew that all these modern conveniences would give us all the freedom to run around like chickens with our heads chopped off.

And now we get to have a contest, http://www.twittermoms.com/forum/topics/samsung-blogging-sweepstakes, to try and help each other out of some major daily hassle.

As for me, the dinner thing comes and goes in cycles. For a while I have it all under control. Then you know what hits the fan.

But all in all here are my three best proven tricks to help lesson the hassle of getting dinner on the table- and BTW I do make almost all dinners by scratch.

Best tip- have a menu for the week. You sit down once a week and get it done. No nonsense! Pick your main course, your veggies, carb, be sure to think about condiments and all that goes with the meal. Then put your grocery list together. And post your menu where EVERYONE can see it. Now follow it.

OK I know this is not exactly simple to get going. There are plenty of hassles that can get in the way. But here is the cool thing to do. My second tip- Find a site that has the recipes and use them.

My other favorite thing to smooth the dinner transition is to have the table set for dinner right after breakfast. No one leaves the house till the dinner table is set. This give everyone, including me, the understanding that dinner is valued in our house.

These are my fav ways to get dinner in the groove. Do you have a fav? I’d love to add them to my personal list. Just put in your comment and lets help each other out.

Poop Pie up Your Nose-Man was I pissed!

October 4, 2009 at 3:16 pm | In attitudes | Leave a Comment
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Man, I am pissed off.  Well, actually at this moment I have had a time to cool off.  But here’s the story- with as few details as I can put in.  Cause I know parents will get the picture.

Here are the characters- but not real names just in case, you know.

GirlA

GirlB

Supposed to have kid Divorced Parent of GirlA- PA

Other Divorced Parent of GirlA- OPA

Parent of GirlB – PB

And the only reason I mention anything about divorce is because to help you understand a bit more.

OK my 9 year old daughter and her two friends decided to have a sleep over at my house.  And the plan was set, we thought, with all necessary parents on board. By necessary I mean PA and PB.

Then we got word from the other parent (OPA) that there was a problem this weekend and the visitation was being altered. So the “BIG” sleepover for Saturday sort of fizzled out.

And that was OK.  But here’s the tough part.  This morning we find that PA has called and made plans with PB to have GA go to GB’s house.  And that after lunch GA will come over to play at my house.  And of course we all know that no one wants to leave one house when the play has just really begun.

Now mind you it was the girls who begged their parents to have the sleepover and play time at my house.  It was not that my daughter was not liked or wanted.  Both the other girls love my daughter.  After all, being a parent for 25 years I can tell when my kid is not liked.  And it is not the case here.

I was unaware of this new arrangement.  Oh yeah, last night I talked with PA and even though the sleepover wasn’t going to happen, the day of playing was still on.

I called PA this morning.  I threw out the idea of going to a fall festival. That’s when I was told of the new plan.  Then an hour later PA and I talked again.  And it seemed to me that the girls would all be going to the festival.  And before we went we would have the dogs and girls run around for an hour together.

Next thing I know is that GirlA is at GirlB’s house.  And GirlA would come over after lunch.  SO you know it didn’t happen.  But I did talk with PB.  She was totally understanding and sympathetic and I do believe had no idea of all this stuff.

Then PA calls and is going to bring GirlA over right after going to the grocery store- around 12.  At 1:00 I took my daughter to the field to run the puppy- who by the way hadn’t gotten run yet.  We got back at 2.  (We live in small village, and had left a note on the door incase GirlA showed up.)

And of course you know they did not come over.  Now I’ve got a really moping and pissed off nine-year old.  And it’s NOOOO fun to have that let me tell you.  My day had gone from great to sucky just like hers.

But PB called, not realizing the time and to have my daughter come right over.  I was pretty relieved! And PB was shocked that PA had not come by.

Now I have never in my life been a gossiper, or defender of myself when others have gossiped about me- and it has cost me a lot over the years I have to say.

But I stood there with my friend – PB- and just let it all out about PA.  It was actually a really healthy thing for me to do.  I doubt if I will now become a gossiper, but this was a truly cathartic experience.  No tears, no huge expression of emotions, just letting something that had been going on for years be released.

I’ll let you know how I react after I see PA again.

But now I am feeling really relaxed.  I know that I showed my daughter, who really wanted to take a poop pie and shove up PA’s nose- a great way to handle the crap that gets dished your way.  Although I think I would feel way more satisfied if I could do the poop pie method!

Introducing a Variety of Foods to Kids

September 25, 2009 at 12:43 pm | In Diet / Nutrition | Leave a Comment
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My basic tip is very simple.  The child has to eat the number of bites of a food that they are old, until they are ten.  After ten they have to eat ten bites of the food. The bites can be small, but not too small. There is no begging or demanding.  With little ones I do sing songs and have games to get the food in the mouth.  With older ones there is simple a time limit.

Most of the dislike of new foods is simply the issue of newness.  The mouth for a child is a very strong sensory stimulus point.  There is touch, taste, smell; and even hearing all happening at once.  And just before something goes into the mouth there is sight.  With all these senses happening at once it becomes a little clearer why children have a touch time getting new foods in the mouth.

I look at eating new foods as a way to help children be able to overcome fears of the unknown.  Its rather a different way of looking at getting food into our children’s mouths but it really changes the whole thought process.

What do you do to get kids to try new foods?

Why Have Family Meals with Teens and Preteens

September 24, 2009 at 7:55 am | In 1 | Leave a Comment
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I have children ranging in age from 30 to 9. And through out this whole span of five children, dinner together has been the optimum nightly choice. Of course in the life style that we all have now, it is not a nightly event. Our dinners range from rather traditional, to breakfast, to crackers and cheese, and even sometimes just a mug of a hot drink.

But my children cherish this time. This is one of their friends’ favorite part of being at our house. This being together for the loud, talkative and totally interactive meal.

And what do I do to make this happen? Simple and way totally overwhelming. The simple is like Nike says, I “just do it.” It is as part of my being as getting dressed in the morning. Which is when I make lots of my dinners. The overwhelming part is putting the meal on the table. I often scurry around to get the meal actually on the table. And with kids of such varying ages, it has been an obstacle course to get the little ones fed while the big ones have their after school activities.

Now that I only have two kids home all year and third with me for half the year things are no less crazy. Its when they are teens that the meal craze really hits.

So one thing I do to have my children feel included in the family meal, even if they can’t be there is to give them a dinner plate of the family meal. They eat this where they are, or int eh car going or coming.

Right now I have a soccer car pool with four kids. The kids want to be in my car because we have pasta and sauce, salad and milk. Not your ordinary fare for car food, but it makes the family meal on the go be the happening thing.

By extending the family meal to where your kids are and who they are with, has a few great effects. First, you kids will eat a much healthier meal than the normal fast food. Second, your kids will know that what they are doing is important, and that the family tie is also important. These two entities are not exclusive. Third, when your child is at home your child knows that eating together is fun and valuable. Fourth, the discussions at family meals can be truly enlightening and educational.

And the most important thing that you as a parent give your child by extending the family meal is to assure your child of the love and interest you as a parent have in them. There is nothing better than to give this gift to your children.

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